Damned If I Do Ya (10/11)
Title: Damned If I Do Ya (10/11)
Author: daydream4way
Pairing: Merrikat
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,051
Summary: Jack and Zack have been fucking since before All Time Low was even a band, but they’re not exclusive, and no one else knows, and they’re both okay with that, because they each think that’s what the other wants. This story will be primarily told through flashbacks for the first few chapters, and it will probably not be completely historically accurate.
It's been over a week since Jack and Zack last spoke, and honestly, Jack still can't believe Zack is in love with him. He's not even that great, really. He's stupid, unnaturally hairy and terribly skinny. But Zack loves him. And Jack is starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could possibly have some feelings for Zack too. He's been waiting outside of Zack's hotel room for over an hour, when he finally sees Zack coming out of the elevator, laughing obnoxiously with Sean. Jack can tell by the way he's walking that he's a little bit tipsy, but Jack's been waiting for an hour, so he really doesn't care.
"Jack. What are you doing here?" Zack asks.
"Can we talk?" Jack is trying not to be annoyed at the fact that Zack spent the night having fun with Sean while Jack has been miserable for the last week.
"I'm gonna go." says Sean, but neither boy hears him.
Zack pulls out his key card and opens his door. "I said I needed more time Jack." Zack says, leaving the door open for Jack to come in as well. Jack walks in, closing the door behind him.
"You need more time? You look like you're doing great. Laughing, having fun with friends, doing all the great stuff touring is supposed to be about."
"And you're not?"
"No Zack, I'm not. I'm not sleeping at all. I'm barely getting through the day without thinking about you and how badly I've fucked everything up."
"Jack, I don't know what to say. Maybe I'm being selfish, but maybe you're not being honest with yourself." Zack moves closer to Jack now, and their eyes lock. "Why are you so upset, hmm? It's not like you have any feelings for me right?"
Jack can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he knows this is a terrible time for this conversation, but it's something about Zack being slightly intoxicated that gives Jack the courage to do what he probably should have done from the beginning. He grabs Zack's face with both hands and kisses him, hard, his tongue immediately begging for entrance.
Zack grants it, deepening the kiss as Jack leads him to the bed. Zack (control freak that he is), turns them around so that it's Jack who ends up on his back on the bed, the kiss not breaking at Zack pins his body to the mattress. Zack thrusts his crotch against Jack's, and Jack responds with a deep, guttural moan.
As amazing as this feels, and as much as Jack wants this, he also really wants to make sure that it's what Zack wants. He pulls away from the kiss, gently pushing Zack off of him.
"What?" Zack pants, eyes filled with lust, and fuck, Jack hasn't seen him look like this in so long.
"I just... I wanted to talk to you."
"I don't wanna talk anymore Jack. Talking doesn't get us anywhere. I want..." Zack grinds his crotch against Jack's "...you to fuck me." Jack wants nothing more, but he also knows that Zack is probably going to regret this in the morning.
"No Zack, no sex. Maybe I should just go." Jack obviously isn't going to have this conversation with Zack tonight after all. Maybe they'll never have it. Honestly, Jack doesn't even know what he's going to say or how he's going to say it, but he's fucking scared it's something along the lines of I love you too.
"Don't leave me." Zack pleads.
"How about I lay here with you until you fall asleep, hmm?"
"But you wanted to talk." That's okay, Jack really doesn't have the nerve to have that conversation now anyways.
"It can wait until tomorrow."
"Okay." Zack snuggles up to Jack, falling into a deep sleep minutes later.
***
Jack doesn't even remember falling asleep, but he sure as hell remembers waking up, because for some unknown reason Zack is screaming obscenities at him. Jack jumps out of bed immediately.
"Can't even fucking believe that you would... after everything..." Zack looks like he's about to have a panic attack.
"Calm down. Breathe." Jack moved to put his arm on Zack's shoulder, but Zack moves it away almost violently.
"Don't fucking touch me."
"Calm down. What's wrong?" Jack asks calmly.
"What's wrong? Hmm, let me think...." Fuck, Jack hates it when Zack gets all sarcastic. "I was really drunk last night. Drunk and vulnerable. And you took advantage of that. You practically raped me Jack!" Jack can't even process this sentence, the idea is so unfathomable.
"I raped you?" Jack asks, dumbfounded.
"I told you I didn't want to have sex with you multiple times, and the first change you get you took advantage of me. Sounds like rape to me."
"Fuck you." Jack spits out.
"What's the matter Jack? You go around treating sex like it's something you're owed. Well it's not. You sleep with girls who are barely out of their training bras and you think it's all fun and games. It's not. Sex means something to some people."
"You don't even know what you're talking about. Last night you were throwing yourself at me. Fucking begging me to fuck you. BEGGING."
"I was DRUNK!"
"AND I DIDN'T FUCKING TOUCH YOU!"
"I don't believe you."
"You're serious right now? You think I fucking raped you? Where's the condom then, hmm? Where's the fucking cum stains on the fucking bed!?" Jack's screaming right now, but he doesn't care who hears. Let the neighbours hear. Let everyone hear about how Zack thinks Jack raped him.
"Okay so if we didn't have sex last night then what the fuck are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you last night, you threw yourself at me, begged me not to leave you, and I fell asleep."
"And what did you say to me that was so fucking important it couldn't wait until I was sober?"
"I didn't say anything to you. I told you we'd talk about it today." Zack's expression is blank. "But what I was going to say was that I loved you. And I'm so FUCKING GLAD I didn't because honestly, I don't even know who you are right now." Jack screams, walking out of the hotel room and slamming the door.
A/N: Okay, this might have been a tad too much. I've said it before, I'll say it again; I SUCK at writing angst. Comments are much appreciated; there's only ONE chapter left! :)
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Author: daydream4way
Pairing: Merrikat
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,051
Summary: Jack and Zack have been fucking since before All Time Low was even a band, but they’re not exclusive, and no one else knows, and they’re both okay with that, because they each think that’s what the other wants. This story will be primarily told through flashbacks for the first few chapters, and it will probably not be completely historically accurate.
It's been over a week since Jack and Zack last spoke, and honestly, Jack still can't believe Zack is in love with him. He's not even that great, really. He's stupid, unnaturally hairy and terribly skinny. But Zack loves him. And Jack is starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could possibly have some feelings for Zack too. He's been waiting outside of Zack's hotel room for over an hour, when he finally sees Zack coming out of the elevator, laughing obnoxiously with Sean. Jack can tell by the way he's walking that he's a little bit tipsy, but Jack's been waiting for an hour, so he really doesn't care.
"Jack. What are you doing here?" Zack asks.
"Can we talk?" Jack is trying not to be annoyed at the fact that Zack spent the night having fun with Sean while Jack has been miserable for the last week.
"I'm gonna go." says Sean, but neither boy hears him.
Zack pulls out his key card and opens his door. "I said I needed more time Jack." Zack says, leaving the door open for Jack to come in as well. Jack walks in, closing the door behind him.
"You need more time? You look like you're doing great. Laughing, having fun with friends, doing all the great stuff touring is supposed to be about."
"And you're not?"
"No Zack, I'm not. I'm not sleeping at all. I'm barely getting through the day without thinking about you and how badly I've fucked everything up."
"Jack, I don't know what to say. Maybe I'm being selfish, but maybe you're not being honest with yourself." Zack moves closer to Jack now, and their eyes lock. "Why are you so upset, hmm? It's not like you have any feelings for me right?"
Jack can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he knows this is a terrible time for this conversation, but it's something about Zack being slightly intoxicated that gives Jack the courage to do what he probably should have done from the beginning. He grabs Zack's face with both hands and kisses him, hard, his tongue immediately begging for entrance.
Zack grants it, deepening the kiss as Jack leads him to the bed. Zack (control freak that he is), turns them around so that it's Jack who ends up on his back on the bed, the kiss not breaking at Zack pins his body to the mattress. Zack thrusts his crotch against Jack's, and Jack responds with a deep, guttural moan.
As amazing as this feels, and as much as Jack wants this, he also really wants to make sure that it's what Zack wants. He pulls away from the kiss, gently pushing Zack off of him.
"What?" Zack pants, eyes filled with lust, and fuck, Jack hasn't seen him look like this in so long.
"I just... I wanted to talk to you."
"I don't wanna talk anymore Jack. Talking doesn't get us anywhere. I want..." Zack grinds his crotch against Jack's "...you to fuck me." Jack wants nothing more, but he also knows that Zack is probably going to regret this in the morning.
"No Zack, no sex. Maybe I should just go." Jack obviously isn't going to have this conversation with Zack tonight after all. Maybe they'll never have it. Honestly, Jack doesn't even know what he's going to say or how he's going to say it, but he's fucking scared it's something along the lines of I love you too.
"Don't leave me." Zack pleads.
"How about I lay here with you until you fall asleep, hmm?"
"But you wanted to talk." That's okay, Jack really doesn't have the nerve to have that conversation now anyways.
"It can wait until tomorrow."
"Okay." Zack snuggles up to Jack, falling into a deep sleep minutes later.
***
Jack doesn't even remember falling asleep, but he sure as hell remembers waking up, because for some unknown reason Zack is screaming obscenities at him. Jack jumps out of bed immediately.
"Can't even fucking believe that you would... after everything..." Zack looks like he's about to have a panic attack.
"Calm down. Breathe." Jack moved to put his arm on Zack's shoulder, but Zack moves it away almost violently.
"Don't fucking touch me."
"Calm down. What's wrong?" Jack asks calmly.
"What's wrong? Hmm, let me think...." Fuck, Jack hates it when Zack gets all sarcastic. "I was really drunk last night. Drunk and vulnerable. And you took advantage of that. You practically raped me Jack!" Jack can't even process this sentence, the idea is so unfathomable.
"I raped you?" Jack asks, dumbfounded.
"I told you I didn't want to have sex with you multiple times, and the first change you get you took advantage of me. Sounds like rape to me."
"Fuck you." Jack spits out.
"What's the matter Jack? You go around treating sex like it's something you're owed. Well it's not. You sleep with girls who are barely out of their training bras and you think it's all fun and games. It's not. Sex means something to some people."
"You don't even know what you're talking about. Last night you were throwing yourself at me. Fucking begging me to fuck you. BEGGING."
"I was DRUNK!"
"AND I DIDN'T FUCKING TOUCH YOU!"
"I don't believe you."
"You're serious right now? You think I fucking raped you? Where's the condom then, hmm? Where's the fucking cum stains on the fucking bed!?" Jack's screaming right now, but he doesn't care who hears. Let the neighbours hear. Let everyone hear about how Zack thinks Jack raped him.
"Okay so if we didn't have sex last night then what the fuck are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you last night, you threw yourself at me, begged me not to leave you, and I fell asleep."
"And what did you say to me that was so fucking important it couldn't wait until I was sober?"
"I didn't say anything to you. I told you we'd talk about it today." Zack's expression is blank. "But what I was going to say was that I loved you. And I'm so FUCKING GLAD I didn't because honestly, I don't even know who you are right now." Jack screams, walking out of the hotel room and slamming the door.
A/N: Okay, this might have been a tad too much. I've said it before, I'll say it again; I SUCK at writing angst. Comments are much appreciated; there's only ONE chapter left! :)
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