Damned If I Do Ya (11/11)
Title: Damned If I Do Ya (11/11)
Author: daydream4way
Pairing: Merrikat
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,709
Summary: Jack and Zack have been fucking since before All Time Low was even a band, but they’re not exclusive, and no one else knows, and they’re both okay with that, because they each think that’s what the other wants. This story will be primarily told through flashbacks for the first few chapters, and it will probably not be completely historically accurate.
"Jack!!" Zack screams, pounding on the door of the All Time Low tour bus. "Can you please at least give me a chance to talk to you?"
The door opens, but it's not Jack that walks out, it's Rian. "He doesn't want to talk to you right now. Nobody does."
"Don't I deserve the chance to apologize?"
"That's not up to me, that's up to him."
"Jack!" Zack screams into the bus "You can't just tell me you love me and then walk away because I made a stupid mistake." Zack grunts, burying his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry man" Rian says, walking back into the bus and shutting the door.
This is ridiculous, they play in two hours, and there's no way that they can go on like this. Zack marches back to his bus, determined to put an end to this once and for all. He just needed to get his thinking cap on first.
***
Zack tries to get to Jack before they go on stage. He really does. But it's as if everyone is on a mission to keep him away from Jack, because the first time Zack sees Jack since that night, it's on stage, and fuck, he looks rough.
They play a full set and even come out for an encore, but honestly, the vibe just isn't there. Everyone can feel it, even the crowd. Zack knows this is his fault. He knows he messed up. He was scared and hurt and fuck, he just loves Jack so much, he should have known Jack wouldn't take advantage like that. He has to fix it, he just has to, and before Zack can even think about what he's doing, he's walking up to his mic and speaking.
"Hey sorry Alex, I don't mean to interrupt your joke, do you mind if I say something?"
"No, go ahead" Alex says.
"Hi guys, I'm Zack." The crowd cheers. "I play bass." The cheers get louder. "I know I don't talk much, but I have something really important to say." Jack isn't looking anywhere near Zack's general direction.
"Sometimes in life you make mistakes, and the people that these mistakes cause pain to are kind enough to forgive you. You should cherish those times. Never take someone's forgiveness for granted, because more times than not, you don't deserve it." Zack pauses for a moment. "Sometimes your mistakes are so big that they're unforgivable. Recently, I made a very big mistake. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. I hurt the person I love the most in the whole world, and the worst part is that I didn't even mean it." Zack looks over at Alex, who is giving him a sympathetic smile. "I don't deserve forgiveness, that's not what I'm asking for. I just wanted this person to know how much I love them. How much I've always loved them. If I had thought for even a second before I spoke I would have realized how fucking dumb I was being. And I just..." Zack stifles a sob. "I just wish I could take it all back. I wish sorry was enough." Zack looks to Alex. "Okay, that's all." The crowd is eerily silent.
They finish with Dear Maria, and Zack can't get off the stage fast enough. He grabs a towel, walking towards the back entrance where the buses are, definitely not in the mood for a meet and greet tonight. He can hear loud laughing coming from inside Yellowcard's bus, and he's just really not in the mood for that right now, so he turns around and bumps right into Jack.
"Sorry." He mumbles.
"I know." And something about the way Jack says this gives Zack the courage to look him in the eyes.
"Jack, I..."
"No, my turn to talk." Zack nods his head, grateful that Jack is even willing to stand in his presence, let alone talk to him.
"You really hurt me Zack. But you were right I guess. I do treat sex like it's nothing. I think that's because I'm afraid of what it would mean for it to be more. Yeah, it sucks that you think I would do that, but honestly, had I been half as drunk as you were, I probably would have. I slept with a fifteen year old girl a few weeks ago."
"Jack, that's..."
"Illegal? Immoral? Fucking disgusting? Yeah I know. But it didn't feel like I was even there. I sleep with all these women and none of them are you. None of them feel like you, none of them make me laugh and cry, and fuck, I love you, okay? I think I have for a long time, I'm just not as smart as you, so it took me longer to notice."
They both stay quiet for what feels like an eternity before Jack says, "well aren't you going to say something?"
"You said it was your turn to talk, I just wanted to make sure you were finished first."
"Ya, I'm fini..." but Jack doesn't get to finish that sentence because Zack's lips are crushing his in a bruising kiss.
"Good. You talk a lot" Zack says, running his hands through Jack's hair.
"So do you. Must be a gay thing."
"But you're not gay, right?" Zack asks playfully.
"I don't think it even matters anymore. I know I want to be with you, just you."
"No more fucking band sluts?"
"You're the only slut I'll be fucking from now on." Jack says, kissing Zack quickly.
"So we're going to try to do this proper? Like a relationship?"
"You mean am I your boyfriend now?" Jack asks, surprised at how the idea doesn't freak him out one little bit.
"Are you?"
"Only if I get to top tonight."
"Well if we're in a relationship now, you're going to have to take me out to dinner first. I'm not a whore."
***
They fumble their way into the hotel room, Jack desperately clawing for the light switch. "God Zack, I missed this." Zack hums in agreement. "Missed you so much."
"Show me." Zack says, pinning Jack against the wall and attacking his neck with bruising kisses.
Jack takes Zack's shirt off slowly, feeling every inch of the body he hasn't touched in weeks as the fabric slides off of his toned body. Zack backs them up to the bed, pulling Jack on top of him, and taking Jack's shirt off.
"How.. uh... how do you want to do this?" Jack grunts, heat rising to his crotch as Zack's thumbs rub circles into his hips.
"I thought you wanted to assert your manliness tonight, hmm?" Zack teases, rutting up to create even more friction against Jack's aching cock.
"Oh I intend to, I just mean, do you want to... fuck this sounds so lame. Do you want slow sensuous lovemaking or hot dirty pornstar sex?" Jack blushes at his question, and Zack pulls him down so close that their noses are touching, kissing him softly.
"Jack, you can make love to me tomorrow, tonight I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk for days. I haven't... I wasn't with anyone when we weren't together you know. It's always just gonna be you."
"Shut up you can't ruin our pornstar sex by saying those kind of things." Jack starts unbuttoning Zack's jeans, pulling his pants and underwear down at the same time. "Fuck Zack, so beautiful."
Jack stands up, quickly disposing of his pants and tossing them across the room, knocking a lamp over in the process.
"Nice" Zack scoffs. Jack crawls his way back onto the bed, planting wet sloppy kisses up Zack's body as he does.
Zack moans in response. "Please Jack... I can't... wait... I need you now." Jack hears his pleas and and quickens his pace. He wants Zack with that same intensity. Maybe even more.
"Flip over" Jack commands and Zack, needing Jack inside of him more than hes ever needed anything else (except maybe Jack himself) hastily turns over, readying himself for Jack's entrance, "no fingers" Zack grunts, "just you".
"Mmm, such a slut." Jack coos. "No lube or condom either?"
"Just... unh... just you." Jack spits into his hand and coats his cock with as much saliva as possible, he doesn't want to hurt Zack. When he finally thrusts his cock into Zack, both let out a mix of moans and sighs of relief. Zack doesnt even feel the pain at this point he just feels love and fucksogooooood. Jack thrusts harder and faster than he ever knew possible, listening to the sound of Zack's breathing hitch, and loving every dirty moan that comes out of his perfect mouth.
"God Zack, so fucking tight."
"Mmm, fuck Jack, HARDER!" Jack thrusts as hard as he can, the sound of his hips smacking against Zack's ass an incredible turn on. His hands dig deep into Zack's hips, leaving red marks he's almost certain will turn into bruises. Jack plants a kiss on Zack's neck and the only thing in the world that matters at that moment is him. The only sounds in the room are the sounds of furious thrusting and loud pleasureful moans, and yeah, Jack wants this forever. He reaches around Zack and starts pumping his cock trying to match the rhythm of his thrusts, but failing miserably. He's desperate for release, but determined to last until Zack is ready. He thrusts in a few more times, finally feeling that familiar tightness, and the wetness on his hands lets him know it's okay to let go. He cums inside of Zack violently, panting like he's just taken his first breath, and in a way, he has.
They both collapse to the mattress, sweaty and utterly spent. Zack finally breaks the silence, "my ass is really going to hurt tomorrow."
"Oh, 'm sorry." Zack laughs.
"It's okay. It was worth it."
"Fuck Zack, why didn't you tell me how much better it was like that?"
"Without a condom?" Zack asks, knowing how much he enjoyed the one other time they had sex without one.
"No, when you're in love." Jack snuggles up to Zack, and yeah, he could get used to this.
A/N: Wow, so this is the end. Hopefully it was up to par. Honestly, I've had a blast trying my hand at writing, but I'm starting grad school next week, and I know I won't have time to keep up with it, so this is probably my last post. Thank you to everyone who commented, and even those who didn't (you tricksy bastards, lol). xx Laura
Author: daydream4way
Pairing: Merrikat
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,709
Summary: Jack and Zack have been fucking since before All Time Low was even a band, but they’re not exclusive, and no one else knows, and they’re both okay with that, because they each think that’s what the other wants. This story will be primarily told through flashbacks for the first few chapters, and it will probably not be completely historically accurate.
"Jack!!" Zack screams, pounding on the door of the All Time Low tour bus. "Can you please at least give me a chance to talk to you?"
The door opens, but it's not Jack that walks out, it's Rian. "He doesn't want to talk to you right now. Nobody does."
"Don't I deserve the chance to apologize?"
"That's not up to me, that's up to him."
"Jack!" Zack screams into the bus "You can't just tell me you love me and then walk away because I made a stupid mistake." Zack grunts, burying his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry man" Rian says, walking back into the bus and shutting the door.
This is ridiculous, they play in two hours, and there's no way that they can go on like this. Zack marches back to his bus, determined to put an end to this once and for all. He just needed to get his thinking cap on first.
***
Zack tries to get to Jack before they go on stage. He really does. But it's as if everyone is on a mission to keep him away from Jack, because the first time Zack sees Jack since that night, it's on stage, and fuck, he looks rough.
They play a full set and even come out for an encore, but honestly, the vibe just isn't there. Everyone can feel it, even the crowd. Zack knows this is his fault. He knows he messed up. He was scared and hurt and fuck, he just loves Jack so much, he should have known Jack wouldn't take advantage like that. He has to fix it, he just has to, and before Zack can even think about what he's doing, he's walking up to his mic and speaking.
"Hey sorry Alex, I don't mean to interrupt your joke, do you mind if I say something?"
"No, go ahead" Alex says.
"Hi guys, I'm Zack." The crowd cheers. "I play bass." The cheers get louder. "I know I don't talk much, but I have something really important to say." Jack isn't looking anywhere near Zack's general direction.
"Sometimes in life you make mistakes, and the people that these mistakes cause pain to are kind enough to forgive you. You should cherish those times. Never take someone's forgiveness for granted, because more times than not, you don't deserve it." Zack pauses for a moment. "Sometimes your mistakes are so big that they're unforgivable. Recently, I made a very big mistake. The biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. I hurt the person I love the most in the whole world, and the worst part is that I didn't even mean it." Zack looks over at Alex, who is giving him a sympathetic smile. "I don't deserve forgiveness, that's not what I'm asking for. I just wanted this person to know how much I love them. How much I've always loved them. If I had thought for even a second before I spoke I would have realized how fucking dumb I was being. And I just..." Zack stifles a sob. "I just wish I could take it all back. I wish sorry was enough." Zack looks to Alex. "Okay, that's all." The crowd is eerily silent.
They finish with Dear Maria, and Zack can't get off the stage fast enough. He grabs a towel, walking towards the back entrance where the buses are, definitely not in the mood for a meet and greet tonight. He can hear loud laughing coming from inside Yellowcard's bus, and he's just really not in the mood for that right now, so he turns around and bumps right into Jack.
"Sorry." He mumbles.
"I know." And something about the way Jack says this gives Zack the courage to look him in the eyes.
"Jack, I..."
"No, my turn to talk." Zack nods his head, grateful that Jack is even willing to stand in his presence, let alone talk to him.
"You really hurt me Zack. But you were right I guess. I do treat sex like it's nothing. I think that's because I'm afraid of what it would mean for it to be more. Yeah, it sucks that you think I would do that, but honestly, had I been half as drunk as you were, I probably would have. I slept with a fifteen year old girl a few weeks ago."
"Jack, that's..."
"Illegal? Immoral? Fucking disgusting? Yeah I know. But it didn't feel like I was even there. I sleep with all these women and none of them are you. None of them feel like you, none of them make me laugh and cry, and fuck, I love you, okay? I think I have for a long time, I'm just not as smart as you, so it took me longer to notice."
They both stay quiet for what feels like an eternity before Jack says, "well aren't you going to say something?"
"You said it was your turn to talk, I just wanted to make sure you were finished first."
"Ya, I'm fini..." but Jack doesn't get to finish that sentence because Zack's lips are crushing his in a bruising kiss.
"Good. You talk a lot" Zack says, running his hands through Jack's hair.
"So do you. Must be a gay thing."
"But you're not gay, right?" Zack asks playfully.
"I don't think it even matters anymore. I know I want to be with you, just you."
"No more fucking band sluts?"
"You're the only slut I'll be fucking from now on." Jack says, kissing Zack quickly.
"So we're going to try to do this proper? Like a relationship?"
"You mean am I your boyfriend now?" Jack asks, surprised at how the idea doesn't freak him out one little bit.
"Are you?"
"Only if I get to top tonight."
"Well if we're in a relationship now, you're going to have to take me out to dinner first. I'm not a whore."
***
They fumble their way into the hotel room, Jack desperately clawing for the light switch. "God Zack, I missed this." Zack hums in agreement. "Missed you so much."
"Show me." Zack says, pinning Jack against the wall and attacking his neck with bruising kisses.
Jack takes Zack's shirt off slowly, feeling every inch of the body he hasn't touched in weeks as the fabric slides off of his toned body. Zack backs them up to the bed, pulling Jack on top of him, and taking Jack's shirt off.
"How.. uh... how do you want to do this?" Jack grunts, heat rising to his crotch as Zack's thumbs rub circles into his hips.
"I thought you wanted to assert your manliness tonight, hmm?" Zack teases, rutting up to create even more friction against Jack's aching cock.
"Oh I intend to, I just mean, do you want to... fuck this sounds so lame. Do you want slow sensuous lovemaking or hot dirty pornstar sex?" Jack blushes at his question, and Zack pulls him down so close that their noses are touching, kissing him softly.
"Jack, you can make love to me tomorrow, tonight I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk for days. I haven't... I wasn't with anyone when we weren't together you know. It's always just gonna be you."
"Shut up you can't ruin our pornstar sex by saying those kind of things." Jack starts unbuttoning Zack's jeans, pulling his pants and underwear down at the same time. "Fuck Zack, so beautiful."
Jack stands up, quickly disposing of his pants and tossing them across the room, knocking a lamp over in the process.
"Nice" Zack scoffs. Jack crawls his way back onto the bed, planting wet sloppy kisses up Zack's body as he does.
Zack moans in response. "Please Jack... I can't... wait... I need you now." Jack hears his pleas and and quickens his pace. He wants Zack with that same intensity. Maybe even more.
"Flip over" Jack commands and Zack, needing Jack inside of him more than hes ever needed anything else (except maybe Jack himself) hastily turns over, readying himself for Jack's entrance, "no fingers" Zack grunts, "just you".
"Mmm, such a slut." Jack coos. "No lube or condom either?"
"Just... unh... just you." Jack spits into his hand and coats his cock with as much saliva as possible, he doesn't want to hurt Zack. When he finally thrusts his cock into Zack, both let out a mix of moans and sighs of relief. Zack doesnt even feel the pain at this point he just feels love and fucksogooooood. Jack thrusts harder and faster than he ever knew possible, listening to the sound of Zack's breathing hitch, and loving every dirty moan that comes out of his perfect mouth.
"God Zack, so fucking tight."
"Mmm, fuck Jack, HARDER!" Jack thrusts as hard as he can, the sound of his hips smacking against Zack's ass an incredible turn on. His hands dig deep into Zack's hips, leaving red marks he's almost certain will turn into bruises. Jack plants a kiss on Zack's neck and the only thing in the world that matters at that moment is him. The only sounds in the room are the sounds of furious thrusting and loud pleasureful moans, and yeah, Jack wants this forever. He reaches around Zack and starts pumping his cock trying to match the rhythm of his thrusts, but failing miserably. He's desperate for release, but determined to last until Zack is ready. He thrusts in a few more times, finally feeling that familiar tightness, and the wetness on his hands lets him know it's okay to let go. He cums inside of Zack violently, panting like he's just taken his first breath, and in a way, he has.
They both collapse to the mattress, sweaty and utterly spent. Zack finally breaks the silence, "my ass is really going to hurt tomorrow."
"Oh, 'm sorry." Zack laughs.
"It's okay. It was worth it."
"Fuck Zack, why didn't you tell me how much better it was like that?"
"Without a condom?" Zack asks, knowing how much he enjoyed the one other time they had sex without one.
"No, when you're in love." Jack snuggles up to Zack, and yeah, he could get used to this.
A/N: Wow, so this is the end. Hopefully it was up to par. Honestly, I've had a blast trying my hand at writing, but I'm starting grad school next week, and I know I won't have time to keep up with it, so this is probably my last post. Thank you to everyone who commented, and even those who didn't (you tricksy bastards, lol). xx Laura