(no subject)
so some of you might know this and most of you wont cuz i haven't said anything. well one of my "ex boyfriends" imed me the other day on one of my accounts.... i haven't heard from him in ages. now let me tell you all like it is. with anyone that i "date" online i do have somekind of feeling for them. i am truthful to a point... but see, this one i dont know what it is about him but i was always sooooo attracted to this guy. his name... jason from amarillo. thats him. he is soooo bad and such a jealous guy and so possessive and pycho at times that for some strange reason i can't get enough of him. i had been thinking about him from time to time wondering how he was doing since he aquired his "financies" through less then legal means. i know how that can go. so i would wonder if he was ok and today i signed on just to find that he is still alive which is always good. but yeah so now im anxious and nervous. i really dont know what to expect. i dont know really what the attraction is. well i guess i kinda do but thats obvious really. but anyway
so we are moved into the new house and things are going ok i guess. the place is still a mess and me having the kids is kinda slowing me down. that and the fact that i dont know if im prego or not since i haven't had my period in like 4 months. so i really dont want to do any heavy lifting. yes i could be prego and yes i am freaking out!!! this is something that i did want but not now. my youngest isn't even 1 yet. so *sigh* it isn't going to be easy. but one thing is for sure. if i am then i am probably getting my tubes tied. i say probably cuz what if things dont work out with my hubby. and i meet someone who wants kids i would want to be able to do that for them. you know. maybe just tied and not removed. that way i could but when we are financially stable. i dont know. what do you all think? i mean what if i meet someone who is fine with accepting my kids that i already have, you know. not like im looking for a father for my kids cuz that is certainly not the case. they have a dad. and that is just something that i could never take away from him and i wouldn't want to. but what if i met someone who wants kids but is fine... well you know what i mean. what do you all think? let me know.
so we are moved into the new house and things are going ok i guess. the place is still a mess and me having the kids is kinda slowing me down. that and the fact that i dont know if im prego or not since i haven't had my period in like 4 months. so i really dont want to do any heavy lifting. yes i could be prego and yes i am freaking out!!! this is something that i did want but not now. my youngest isn't even 1 yet. so *sigh* it isn't going to be easy. but one thing is for sure. if i am then i am probably getting my tubes tied. i say probably cuz what if things dont work out with my hubby. and i meet someone who wants kids i would want to be able to do that for them. you know. maybe just tied and not removed. that way i could but when we are financially stable. i dont know. what do you all think? i mean what if i meet someone who is fine with accepting my kids that i already have, you know. not like im looking for a father for my kids cuz that is certainly not the case. they have a dad. and that is just something that i could never take away from him and i wouldn't want to. but what if i met someone who wants kids but is fine... well you know what i mean. what do you all think? let me know.