Let this be the final one
Suddenly realised that I've depended too much on myself in my preparation for the upcoming exams and I've been too stubborn with God towards the same old issue so I decided to spend some time with Him talking about these. Thought through certain things and...
With the same determination that I had a year ago, I'm letting go today. I've had enough of it. It's no one's fault. I guess I'm just running out of patience. I remember telling someone at the start of the year that as time goes by, people will start to let go, not because they want to but that they have to. The reason is that it's simply too hard for them to bear. Well, I wasn't really referring to anyone else, it was myself that I was talking about. I knew this day has to come.
Consequences and regrets. I weighed them with my best and I wouldn't say that the pros and cons would cancel each other other nor would I say that the regrets are easy to bear. However, if the end has to come, there's no point struggling because it's just going to bring more heartaches.
No one is indispensible. That was what came to my mind just now, in opposition to what I've always believed. No matter how we hate being substituted and how we think there wouldn't be one for our friends, the fact is that substitution takes place all the time, it's just whether we realise it or not.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven't found any which I guess in this case it's rather unfortunate because I can't move on. But knowing myself as someone whose heart cannot "multi-task", to let go at this point is probably the right thing to do. I can't be sure as to whether I'll still meet anyone like this or anyone better than this, but I guess if I was able to make the promise to give it a go 6 months ago, I should take a risk once more. Even if I should fail, at least I know for sure that my God will never leave me nor forsake me. Each time I've failed, no one was there except Him. That's the greatest comfort ever. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5), a verse which I've received this year during my birthday and less fortunately, He's the only One I have right now.
I can't be sure whether I can handle this Lord, but I'm going to rely on You for the strength to do so.
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have in You
With the same determination that I had a year ago, I'm letting go today. I've had enough of it. It's no one's fault. I guess I'm just running out of patience. I remember telling someone at the start of the year that as time goes by, people will start to let go, not because they want to but that they have to. The reason is that it's simply too hard for them to bear. Well, I wasn't really referring to anyone else, it was myself that I was talking about. I knew this day has to come.
Consequences and regrets. I weighed them with my best and I wouldn't say that the pros and cons would cancel each other other nor would I say that the regrets are easy to bear. However, if the end has to come, there's no point struggling because it's just going to bring more heartaches.
No one is indispensible. That was what came to my mind just now, in opposition to what I've always believed. No matter how we hate being substituted and how we think there wouldn't be one for our friends, the fact is that substitution takes place all the time, it's just whether we realise it or not.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven't found any which I guess in this case it's rather unfortunate because I can't move on. But knowing myself as someone whose heart cannot "multi-task", to let go at this point is probably the right thing to do. I can't be sure as to whether I'll still meet anyone like this or anyone better than this, but I guess if I was able to make the promise to give it a go 6 months ago, I should take a risk once more. Even if I should fail, at least I know for sure that my God will never leave me nor forsake me. Each time I've failed, no one was there except Him. That's the greatest comfort ever. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5), a verse which I've received this year during my birthday and less fortunately, He's the only One I have right now.
I can't be sure whether I can handle this Lord, but I'm going to rely on You for the strength to do so.
Mountains bow down
And the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You
Forever I'll stand
Nothing compares
To the promise I have in You