BAGGAGE
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my current boyfriend and our relationship lately, and I'm starting to wonder if I have been waiting for something that will never happen.
We've talked a lot about the issue of baggage; the only girl he has ever been truly in love with didn't return his feelings and broke his heart. He uses this analogy of an "island" to describe the way that he is protecting himself from being hurt, and why it is taking him so much time to truly trust me and to, essentially, love me.
but to what extent do you feel it is fair to use the idea of "baggage" from your past as an excuse to keep a new relationship out of a deeper emotional realm? I mean, we have been dating for 5 months and I tell him how much i care about him, that i am crazy about him, that i think of him often, and my comments go completely unreturned and mostly unnoticed. my frustration is mounting.
i am starting to feel like my feelings are one-sided. i don't expect him to tell me that he loves me, just to let me in on how he is feeling and to meet me half-way as far as the emotional thing goes. he always makes these jokes about his "other girlfriends" and teases me by intentionally doing things that he knows will piss me off. I'm just looking for some genuine kindness and tenderness from him, and I am frustrated to the point that I am considering breaking up with him.
is it unfair of me to write him off like this? I feel like i am falling in love with him, but I hesitate in letting myself do this for fear of finding myself in a situation where my feelings are unreturned. I don't know how to get around this obstacle in our relationship, and I feel like I can't wait around for him any longer. any advice? similar situations? do you think that this is something that we can deal with, or should i be looking out for my best interests in dumping him before I get any further invested in a potential emotional train-wreck??
We've talked a lot about the issue of baggage; the only girl he has ever been truly in love with didn't return his feelings and broke his heart. He uses this analogy of an "island" to describe the way that he is protecting himself from being hurt, and why it is taking him so much time to truly trust me and to, essentially, love me.
but to what extent do you feel it is fair to use the idea of "baggage" from your past as an excuse to keep a new relationship out of a deeper emotional realm? I mean, we have been dating for 5 months and I tell him how much i care about him, that i am crazy about him, that i think of him often, and my comments go completely unreturned and mostly unnoticed. my frustration is mounting.
i am starting to feel like my feelings are one-sided. i don't expect him to tell me that he loves me, just to let me in on how he is feeling and to meet me half-way as far as the emotional thing goes. he always makes these jokes about his "other girlfriends" and teases me by intentionally doing things that he knows will piss me off. I'm just looking for some genuine kindness and tenderness from him, and I am frustrated to the point that I am considering breaking up with him.
is it unfair of me to write him off like this? I feel like i am falling in love with him, but I hesitate in letting myself do this for fear of finding myself in a situation where my feelings are unreturned. I don't know how to get around this obstacle in our relationship, and I feel like I can't wait around for him any longer. any advice? similar situations? do you think that this is something that we can deal with, or should i be looking out for my best interests in dumping him before I get any further invested in a potential emotional train-wreck??