This is what I have to do
I could take every breath left in my life and use it to apologize, and I still don't think it would ever convey how sorry I feel.
I miss you every day.
You are such an amazing person, and I loved the way you loved me. I loved you for loving me. It's what kept me in this for so long. It's why I tried to convince myself that I was the problem, not the way I felt. It was why I would beat myself up and try to be good and concentrate harder on giving you what you were giving me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep focus of that and couldn't give you what you deserved. In the end, I realized that I knew all along I would fail, and even though I tried my best and had good intentions along the way, I have to live with the knowledge that I wrecked your world, and swallow my guilt.
You're so strong. You were so strong for me. Please.... please find how to be strong for you. I know you can get through this without letting the bitterness overtake you and without letting it harden you. For as much as you loved me, do this one last thing for me: fight through your pain and hold tightly on to the hope and belief that you can and will love someone who will love you back in the same way, and that will mean more to you than I did.
And if you hate me, tell me to fuck off and do it for yourself.
I'll let go this time. I'll finally take everything I have left home with me, and say goodbye. I feel more pain than what I can put into words at the thought of finally shutting this door, but I know we both need it to be shut if we're ever going to do more than watch the world move on.
I love you. Not in a way that would make all of this go away, but I love you.
I miss you every day.
You are such an amazing person, and I loved the way you loved me. I loved you for loving me. It's what kept me in this for so long. It's why I tried to convince myself that I was the problem, not the way I felt. It was why I would beat myself up and try to be good and concentrate harder on giving you what you were giving me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep focus of that and couldn't give you what you deserved. In the end, I realized that I knew all along I would fail, and even though I tried my best and had good intentions along the way, I have to live with the knowledge that I wrecked your world, and swallow my guilt.
You're so strong. You were so strong for me. Please.... please find how to be strong for you. I know you can get through this without letting the bitterness overtake you and without letting it harden you. For as much as you loved me, do this one last thing for me: fight through your pain and hold tightly on to the hope and belief that you can and will love someone who will love you back in the same way, and that will mean more to you than I did.
And if you hate me, tell me to fuck off and do it for yourself.
I'll let go this time. I'll finally take everything I have left home with me, and say goodbye. I feel more pain than what I can put into words at the thought of finally shutting this door, but I know we both need it to be shut if we're ever going to do more than watch the world move on.
I love you. Not in a way that would make all of this go away, but I love you.