Unwelcome in my own home
So I haven't posted in a while because everything was going great. I was feeling happy and content I was getting things done etc. Well when it came to the end of the semester at college I had to make a bit of a difficult decision of whether or not I was going to be returning for the second semester. It came down to I just couldn't because I didn't have the money. It didn't really upset me though. I figured I needed some time off anyway. I still didn't know what I wanted to go for and I figured I was just wasting money anyway. Well this meant I would have to move back home full time until I got a job and onto subsidized living. I didn't figure it would be a problem since my older sister had just moved out and it first it didn't appear to be. My dad was more than happy to have me at home (what can I say? I'm daddies little girl) and mom could really use the help. So I moved all my stuff home from college, which wasn't a lot, and started getting applications from businesses. Well then I had the room discussion with dad. When I had been coming home on the weekends I had been sleeping in the boys's room. It was really no big deal. We all get along and I was there for so little time it wasn't a bother. However, being home full time it wasn't fair to the boys or me to go on living like that. There was no privacy. So dad figured I would move into the room with my littlest sister since my older sister had just moved out of that room and here began the trouble. J-- threw a big hissy fit about how she had just gotten the room to herself, how all my stuff would make her claustrophobic (I have way less stuff than she does), and why couldn't I just continue living in the boys's room, and blah blah blah. Mom took her side. Let me say right now that I love my mother, I really do, but sometimes she refuses to act like the parent. She doesn't want to be the bad guy but you know what? As a parent sometimes that's your job. I'm not a parent and even I know that! Anyway dad sat down and talked with mom about how it was unfair to have four people sleeping in one room and the other two girls had rooms to themselves. So then we sat down and had the big discussion. The two younger girls had a couple of options: I could move in with J--, A-- could move in with J-- and I would take her room, or A-- and I could take over J--'s room and she would move into A--'s (hopefully you followed that). Oh my God you would think we asked them to build a tree house in the back yard and live in it. After I was in tears and they had stormed off to their rooms dad put his foot down "Sometimes a family isn't a democracy, sometimes it's a dictatorship and I'm the dictator. Tanya will take over A--'s room and A-- will move in with J-- (I think I better come up with fake names for them. Let's see Juliet and Alice)." So I figured it was settled. I was hurt though. Why was it such a problem to live with me? Why didn't Juliet want me in her room. I tried to brush it off. Well they finally told them (I wasn't around on purpose) and of course they were pissed, but it was settled, or so I thought. Today when I was going to start moving my stuff into the room I was informed that Alice was going to be leaving her stuff in there. Okay fine. I didn't have a problem with that as long as I could move it out of the was and she would clear things off so I could set my stuff up. So I go ask her to do that and she informs me that if any of her stuff is moved she would preform certain acts of violence that I won't bother mentioning because it's not important. Well I go ask mom to back me up and she refuses. She says she doesn't understand why the stuff can't stay there. I explain to her that I need places to set my things in my room and she tells me to box it up and put it in the attic! At this point I inquire as to why I have to box up my stuff because she refuses to take her things out of my room? Mom then accuses me of sticking her and dad in the middle of this situation and I agree that maybe I have but only as referees. They are the parents and we are the children, when there is an issue like this they are supposed to deal with it. No I have no problem boxing some of my stuff up but I would like to have some of my stuff in my room and she finds this unreasonable. She points out that I'm only going to be living there for a while. Now that stung. Yes I intend to move out as soon as I can, I informed them of that when I came home (dad told me not to worry about it) but until that time I thought that home would still be home. Instead I feel like I'm some sort of stranger intruding on them. My brothers are great and so is my dad but to my mom and my sisters I seem to be more of a burden and a pain. I just want to feel like my home is my home. I don't know if I'm really being that unrealistic or what but I'm not sure how to deal with this situation.