fuck you, I like disco.
I always feel really uncomfortable when I eat a banana at work.
Uncomfortable and dubious.
Speaking of matters of the perv persuasion, I just got a new vibrator the other day. It's so beautiful. Just look at this little gem!
I love it. I wish it were a little bit stronger on the settings where it pulsates and escalates and all that crazy jazz, but the highest speed setting gets the job done. Or at least it did last night! Weeee. This is the prettiest sex toy I own. And it comes in its own satin box! Awww.
So, about two months ago, this couple came into my store. The next day, the guy came in and basically gave me his number and said that he and his wife thought I was "gorgeous" and blablabla, and that they wanted to take me out and "pamper" me or something like that, etc. etc. I'm embarrassed to talk about it. That part of the story ends with me NOT calling them. Anyways, he came in again today while my friend Kevin was visiting me, and I didn't even recognize him until I was done ringing him in and he gave me a really awkward look.
After he was out the door I told Kevin about it and he brought up a point that I had thought about when it first happened: Why do people assume that just because I work in a sex store that I am a swinger/person who will participate in their fetish with them (I'm referring mostly to Fartman)/want to see their dick (Lacy Panties Slave Man)/whatever...? It kind of pisses me off. Yes, obviously someone who works in a store like mine has to be able to be more open-minded towards sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean ANYTHING about my own sexuality, and it's frustrating that people seem to think it does. If you want to find girls who will let you and your wife "pamper" and do dirty things to them, look in a swingers magazine. We sell 'em. I'll sell you an issue, but I'm not going to bang you. I'm also not going to fart/piss/shit in front of you, nor do I care to see your cock hanging limply out the side of a pink lace thong. I may definitely have some interesting sexual proclivities, but they are part of my private life, not my work life. The fact that I am a sexually expressive/free person and the fact that I happen to work in a sex store are not connected, except in the sense that my open-mindedness helps me to not judge my customers, and helps them to feel more comfortable discussing their sexual needs with me.
Yeah, so like I said, Kevin came to visit me at work today, totally unexpectedly. That was awesome, it was fun to see him and we had a fun chat about movies. I wish more of my friends would visit me at work, I love it. It's a nice way to pass the day.
I really, really need to start watching more movies. I love them, but for some reason I have just never really been a "movie person". The older I get, though, it seems the more interested I'm becoming in film as a form of expression. I've been getting a lot of great-sounding recommendations lately, and I was thinking of signing up with Netflix. Must watch more movies!!!
By the way, have I told you lately about how much I love Michael Jackson? I love Michael Jackson. A lot.
This morning on my way to work, I was listening to "Off The Wall". That album is so amazing! I don't give a damn where I am, when I listen to that album, my head is bouncing around, I'm walking to the rhythm and I'm mouthing the words like some jackass. I don't care how ridiculous it looks to anyone outside the range of my headphones. All I need to say to them if they look at me funny are four words: "Off The Wall, motherfucker."
Fuck you, I like disco.
Ps, I want these tights:
