(no subject)
So I ended up taking the day off today due to extensive exhaustion and pain from last night. I'm considering this my celebratory birthday "day off from work" since I have to work on Friday (my actual birthday) and Saturday (mandatory xmas shift). Argh!
I think I am going to go learn "Sweet Virginia" by the Rolling Stones on my acoustic.
I feel so weird lately. But what else is new, right? I always feel weird, about something or other.
Sometimes I really confuse myself. I don't like it when I let certain people get to me. Insignificant, meaningless people who I just dwell on. Obviously I know that it roots down to a deeper issue, but they're issues that I didn't really think I had?
I don't like when my insecurities creep out. They shouldn't be there. I shouldn't be insecure. But I'm human.
Why am I so stupid and snarky and silly sometimes? Why are there certain instances where I have SUCH a hard time being the "bigger person"?
The closer my Jamaica trip gets, the more restless I get for it. I'm so thankful that my mom is doing this for me. I can't wait to go walking along the beach at night, to ride a horse in the ocean, to have time to just think all by myself in a completely foreign place, to smoke so much weed that I enter a whole new plane of consciousness, to remove myself from my own reality for just a little while (as is evidenced by many entries in this journal, that is one of my favourite things in the world to do).
I hope I have the funnest, most awesome birthday of my life this year.
It would be nice.
I think I am going to go learn "Sweet Virginia" by the Rolling Stones on my acoustic.
I feel so weird lately. But what else is new, right? I always feel weird, about something or other.
Sometimes I really confuse myself. I don't like it when I let certain people get to me. Insignificant, meaningless people who I just dwell on. Obviously I know that it roots down to a deeper issue, but they're issues that I didn't really think I had?
I don't like when my insecurities creep out. They shouldn't be there. I shouldn't be insecure. But I'm human.
Why am I so stupid and snarky and silly sometimes? Why are there certain instances where I have SUCH a hard time being the "bigger person"?
The closer my Jamaica trip gets, the more restless I get for it. I'm so thankful that my mom is doing this for me. I can't wait to go walking along the beach at night, to ride a horse in the ocean, to have time to just think all by myself in a completely foreign place, to smoke so much weed that I enter a whole new plane of consciousness, to remove myself from my own reality for just a little while (as is evidenced by many entries in this journal, that is one of my favourite things in the world to do).
I hope I have the funnest, most awesome birthday of my life this year.
It would be nice.