Dear Diary
Sometimes I find myself reading the forums and it feels as if I am making human contact. Sometimes it feels as if it is my only human contact. I half enjoy and half fear having a journal. I want people to keep their distance. I only want to communicate with people in communities so it is on my terms not to have them intimately on my journal.
Sometimes I feel that is all the contact that I need in the world. That contact that I find through a computer screen. The contact of other people writing. Even being on WoW is too much contact some days as I can see the other people moving their characters around. Today is one of those days. I was going to play, but it feels almost too much to deal with.
Other times I feel lonely. I've isolated people from my life. Part of it is me, but part of it is them. I go months, years, at a time without speaking to people. I can't blame them for not wanting to stay close to me. Sometimes they all seem so far away. They seem so emotionally distant. Sometimes I just want real human contact. A face to face conversation. Other times I just want everyone and everything to go away.