(no subject)
I guess this is the update where I tell you that after moving in with bae and starting my new job, life's allllll great. That everything is peachy and I'm on a rainbow road to happy and things have looked all the way up since 2016.
Well, it's half true, I guess.
Things with the boy are good. We've taken moving in together pretty well and find lots of ways to have fun together when we're home but somehow manages to give personal space in this little home in just the right amount. I'm still getting used to the neighborhood -- it's weird to live in a gentrified, "nice" area now when I've grown up in a pretty ethnic part of the city. It feels a little out of place for me to live with a bunch of decently wealthy familes as neighbors instead of loud, Asian grandmas whose cooking you just smell all the damn time.
Work is fine too. At the beginning of the role, it felt like I didn't really fit in or have a place in the company because everyone has their own beats and I was just sort of there. Thankfully, my boss has tried to integrate me more by letting me run weekly meetings and assign work, so things have gotten exponentially better. I still have a hard time trying to feel super fit in and managerial, but it's a lot better than November.
I've also started seeing a therapist again to help with these self confidence issues. I'm hoping this time I will stick with it to really figure out how I can stop torturing myself mentally and comparing myself to others. Over New Year's when we were in Chicago, we unexpectedly ran back into the ex when she happened to stick around for NYE. I have come to not expect her there anymore after nearly 5 or so years or it, so it was sort of a random thing since I haven't given much thought to ever interacting with her again. Everything went fine though -- we didn't talk much though I was trying to be friendly, but the conversation pretty much died as it was more or less me asking things and her answering in as few words as possible, then not reciprocating the curiosity. I've just accepted that she has zero interest in trying to accept me as part of the friends circle we both are part of for whatever reasons despite the years.
Aside from her coldness, I found that at the end of the day I just want to be liked and accepted... by whomever. It's a really weird validation thing and I want to stop relying on it. Hence, therapy.
Lastly, I decided I was healthy enough to start exercising daily again. Here's hoping I actually stick to it.
Well, it's half true, I guess.
Things with the boy are good. We've taken moving in together pretty well and find lots of ways to have fun together when we're home but somehow manages to give personal space in this little home in just the right amount. I'm still getting used to the neighborhood -- it's weird to live in a gentrified, "nice" area now when I've grown up in a pretty ethnic part of the city. It feels a little out of place for me to live with a bunch of decently wealthy familes as neighbors instead of loud, Asian grandmas whose cooking you just smell all the damn time.
Work is fine too. At the beginning of the role, it felt like I didn't really fit in or have a place in the company because everyone has their own beats and I was just sort of there. Thankfully, my boss has tried to integrate me more by letting me run weekly meetings and assign work, so things have gotten exponentially better. I still have a hard time trying to feel super fit in and managerial, but it's a lot better than November.
I've also started seeing a therapist again to help with these self confidence issues. I'm hoping this time I will stick with it to really figure out how I can stop torturing myself mentally and comparing myself to others. Over New Year's when we were in Chicago, we unexpectedly ran back into the ex when she happened to stick around for NYE. I have come to not expect her there anymore after nearly 5 or so years or it, so it was sort of a random thing since I haven't given much thought to ever interacting with her again. Everything went fine though -- we didn't talk much though I was trying to be friendly, but the conversation pretty much died as it was more or less me asking things and her answering in as few words as possible, then not reciprocating the curiosity. I've just accepted that she has zero interest in trying to accept me as part of the friends circle we both are part of for whatever reasons despite the years.
Aside from her coldness, I found that at the end of the day I just want to be liked and accepted... by whomever. It's a really weird validation thing and I want to stop relying on it. Hence, therapy.
Lastly, I decided I was healthy enough to start exercising daily again. Here's hoping I actually stick to it.