it's funny how things can affect you in ways you don't expect. in talking the past few days with friends i've come to notice that when something is wrong in the group i'm the last one they expect to be the cause of it. and then when it is me then some how it still can't be my fault. i don't like that at all. i make mistakes all the time and i cause ( Read more... )

listened to john frusciante today and thought of how sad i was the last time i did. the unfortunate thing about me is that everytime i listen to a song the unhappiness that was connected to it once comes back with most of its potency, but i guess that at the same time it is so different each time too. every repetition afterwards changes the ( Read more... )

i'm so crushed right now. i hate this overwhelming feeling of rejection that is either imagined or actual, but that is real and absolutely present either way. i've alienated myself and i'm not sure what to do. i think after i get more sleep i won't feel like this anymore and i didn't feel like this earlier, but meh... i do now. i hate this feeling