TVD 3x21: "How many desiccated hybrids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Here's the thing. I really enjoyed this episode. It was a good time. That being said? I don't really have much to say. I know, I know, I always have something to say, and I'm sure I'll find a way to make this recap as absurdly lengthy as ever. But...I don't know, guys. This episode was pretty good. The plot was consistently exciting (I know! Plot!!!). But there weren't any huge character moments. There isn't really anything to rage or flail about. Because this episode suffered from Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome.
This is how it always goes. The second to last episode of a season just feels a bit suspended, like you're holding your breath waiting for something - that something being the season finale. I credit TVD over almost every other show with being better at not wasting my time in each episode. This show doesn't subscribe to the common doctrine that important things can only happen in season premieres, episodes before hiatus, and finales. I HATE that doctrine, and I love that real, significant things occur on our show regardless of episode placement. Of course, even if TVD is a superior TV show, it's still a TV show, and season finale rules reign supreme. So even if it tries its best to spread the action evenly throughout the season, a finale is still a finale, and there's no way that by episode 3x21 you're going to be doing anything but obsessing about 3x22. That's just the way it is. That's why I personally loved that the big season 2 climax of the sacrifice happened in 2x21 rather than in the finale - it saved 2x21 from Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome. I can understand why this season didn't do something similar, since there was no big climax to be had. And that's the problem with this episode, I think, and perhaps the problem with the season. I'm not gonna lie: I've loved season 3. Ridiculous flaws and inconsistencies aside, I've loved it, for a whole host of reasons (not the least of which is the fact that this is my first season properly in fandom - hello, fandom!). But I think that at this point we all agree that there hasn't really been a cohesive plot arc to drive the season. The first half of season 3 was very tight, because there was a clear path. But once Stefan was out of Klaus's control, the plot meandered a bit. Things happened on a case by case basis, but the overarching narrative got a bit lost. Operation Kill Klaus became increasingly pointless and unnecessary, and Alterlaric appeared too late in the game to really tie the entire season together. Ultimately, I don't really care, because I'm all about the characters here, so the lack of a strong plot-driven conflict is secondary to my concerns. But this whole impromptu treatise on television rules stems from the fact that I've never felt so affected by outside sources to dictate how I feel about the world within this show.
Let me explain. At this point, everybody knows that Elena is supposed to make her big choice, yes? This has been so heavily publicized that the Mystic Falls town crier is basically announcing it to the world every morning. But I know that more than a few of us have noticed that up until this episode, there was zero indication that Elena was anywhere near making a choice. In fact, there was no evidence that she even intended to make one at all, or that she believed there was one to be made. The only reason we've all been gearing up for Decision Day is because everyone OUTSIDE the show has been telling us it's coming. So THAT has effectively become the big climax of the season, the overarching plot that ties the season together. Because you can show us all the Originals scheming and Alterlaric machinations you want to, but we've all been far too preoccupied by the talk of Elena's romantic conflict for way too long to pay enough attention. I say this not as a shipper, but rather as someone who thinks entirely too much about this show and has realized that part of the reason why this season has suffered a lack of plot intensity is that the creators and media have unintentionally sabotaged the show's efforts to deliver said plot. It's not that there aren't things going on in the show. It's just that we are too distracted by the constant peddling of Elena's Choice to focus on what's actually happening within the show.
All this to say that I think the reason why this episode was good but ultimately pointless is that I just felt like it was all moving toward the much-hyped Season Finale Choice. I spent half the episode looking for clues to prove that Elena was actually aware she was supposed to be making this choice that Julie Plec's been swearing she will, and the other half waiting for Elena to pass out so she could start having those widely advertised flashbacks. Basically, people have been talking too much about the finale, and it aggravated the already present Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome to the point of it being distracting. I feel like I will be able to enjoy this episode a lot more after 3x22, when I can stop thinking about how everything is trying to get us to that point and just focus on what actually happened in the episode.
This was a long and unnecessary tangent. See, I told you I'd find a way to make this recap long!
So despite all the above ramblings, I actually really liked this episode. So we will start, as ever, from the beginning.
The episode opens with a shot of books, and I literally utter, "LOL, school." These people spend so much more time trying to murder and/or save each other in this place than they do actually attending classes.
Then it gets creepy, and they flash to some random Civil War pictures and models. Part of me wants to close-read this, and the far lazier, PESS-affected (that's Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome, for those of you watching at home) part of me just assumes it's supposed to be eerie and violent. Let's just move on.
Alaric is chilling, being evil. Ok, man. Do what you do.
This Caroline/Tyler phonecall is encouraging, since it seems to indicate that they've both figured out that Klaroline is not a real thing (except when it is, but still. More on that later.). Tyler was blissfully rational, and they were remarkably contrived-drama-free. And guys! I had legitimate Forwood feelings! In the most unexpected of places. When Tyler just casually signs off with "I love you" and Caroline echoes it, like you do when you're hanging up with the people you love, like it's no big deal, cause it's just part of what you do - I liked this so much! I had actual shippy feelings! I have been pretty apathetic about Caro/Tyler for most of the season, but something about how everyday and throwaway this was made it work for me so much. Maybe I just want these two to be a normal couple. I have been very *epic eye roll* about all the manufactured love triangle/lovers torn asunder business between them this season, but maybe all I need to ship these two again is to see them acting like a normal, functional couple. No starcrossed lovers for me, thank you very much. Just two kids in love, I guess. Huh, who knew.
So is the clean up committee exclusively made up of Caroline, Rebekah, and Matt? Or is everyone else on it just dead by now?
But anyway, my two blonde queens have a scene together, and it makes me happy. Caroline/Rebekah is a relationship that has all sorts of undertones but very little actual interaction, so I was pretty thrilled that this scene existed. Because even aside from the blonde connect, these two are so similar, which is part of why there's so much animosity between them. But it also means they share similar compassion (even if it's reluctant compassion), so seeing the two of them begrudgingly reach out to each other because that's who they both are was really rather lovely.
But my poor Rebekah still didn't get to go to the dance. Will someone just let her go to a fucking high school dance already?
Question: is Esther properly dead now? I don't know why I didn't realize that from last week. I guess I thought she'd just been temporarily staked, which, now that I think about it, seems like a foolish conclusion, but alas, I never claimed to be intelligent. So Esther's dead, then? Whatever. Can't say I'll miss her, and can't say I'll be surprised if she turns up again.
So Caroline and Rebekah have this lovely moment of understanding and sympathy, and then they team up to take down Alaric. All good things so far. Seeing my blonde lady warriors combine strength to stake Alaric and then simultaneously realize he can't be killed by said stake made me a bit gleeful. I just love teamwork, ok?
They run away, and Caro fumbles with her keys like a classic horror movie victim. Come on, Caro. First of all, who still needs to unlock their car door like that? Secondly, if you can't get in the car? Just keep running. In superspeed. Seriously, why wasn't she vamp!speeding the hell out of there? Whatever, plot reasons, fine. #don't think I'm not still inconveniently distracted by logistics
Alterlaric snaps her neck and drags her inside to catchy music, burning all the while. It was badass, and I dug it. But again...why wasn't he using vamp speed? He was literally burning up. You'd think he might want to hasten the dragging process along. #putting my logic baton down...for now
The Gilberts are painting! I love the Gilberts and their powering through their terrible lives.
This scene was also made of Jeremy Gilbert Win. I actually cheered for Jeremy Cleaver Gilbert throughout this scene. He was the best.
Stefan and Elena try to share a cute glance of happy soon-to-be-reconciled lovers (you're right, Elena, it's super romantic that Stefan offers to help you guys paint - though he's used to painting walls red with the blood of his victims, but, LOL, no one cares about that, did that even happen? Naw, let's just go back to being adorable), and then Jeremy ruins the moment like a champ and just calls them out on their obnoxious dance around each other. He just flat out demands in a SUPER judge-y voice if they're back together, and I applaud Jeremy Gilbert for being a magnificent brat. THANK YOU, Jeremy. Because we were all wondering. Bless you for being brazen enough to just say it outright. Also the absolute best?
"But if you are trying to be the good guy again, why don't you do the right thing and give us one day? Just one day without any vampires in it?"
YOU GO, JEREMY GILBERT. I loved this. And I loved how angry he was. Jeremy's just been dealt this utterly crushing blow, again, and he's tired of it. So he does the most wonderful, justified, glorious thing, and doesn't let Stefan and Elena make all this grief and misery about their Epic Romance. He just tells Stefan to GTFO, because for once this should be about the humans and their human loss. Unfortunately, things never go as they should in this town, but Jeremy was 100% correct, and I loved him for it.
Elena tries to excuse him, but at least Stefan knew as well as I did that, yes, Jeremy absolutely did mean it. And why wouldn't he?
I do wonder what even goes on in this Gilbert house. Stefan just walks in with no comment. Then he answers the door despite the fact that he is not a resident, and continues to have a full conversation with the newcomers without either of the Gilberts even bothering to check who was at the door (and now in their house). Then Elena manages to leave the house and drive away without ANYONE noticing despite the fact that all of the unacknowledged guests were downstairs. Did anyone else wonder how she managed that? Basically, what is the deal with this house? It's basically a rest stop for the traumatized and life-threatened.
OH MY GOD, guys. I just noticed upon rewatch that Klaus is packing up his paintings. Just. This is an actual joke. How many boxes of paintings do you think he has? Does he have an entire separate moving truck for his collected works of angry impressionism?
I remain convinced as ever that RebeKlaus is the true OTP of this show. Seriously, this scene was so fucking romantic and tragic. "We'll protect each other, like we always have. Always and forever, Nic." IN LOVE. But for reals. These two have been everything to each other for a thousand years. They don't want to live without each other, but they're too proud to admit it, and they're too insistent upon following their own paths. So Rebekah determines to leave, and Klaus refuses to divert from his agenda. But it's tearing them up, because all they want to do is be together. I will ship it to the grave.
And THEIR FACES, just. Rebekah desperately trying to hold off tears, Klaus looking frozen and stricken and stoic, and these two are just amazing. I love them.
I seriously wish I could just enjoy any scene with Bonnie and Damon together without worrying that it would feed the hoard of crazed Bonnie/Damon shippers just waiting for a sign to pounce on their irrelevant ship. I get that they're a thing in the books. But if the random excerpts I've skimmed in airport bookshops are any indication, I'm overwhelmingly glad this show is nothing like the books, so can we just leave this well enough alone? There are enough romantic entanglements on this show already. I do not need Bonnie/Damon. (So, basically, put your inappropriate chemistry with everything AWAY, Mr. Somerhalder. It is not needed, and it will only get you into trouble.)
I continue to love Damon to distraction. "Because I do stupid things, Bonnie. I do things like let my friend die with dignity when I should have just killed him." It's classic Damon, revealing his guilt and self-loathing through an angry, sarcastic comment in the middle of an argument. He's not looking for comfort, and he's certainly not looking to reveal his emotional vulnerability. But of course his failure to protect Alaric from this situation is eating away at him, and I love the boy for getting it out there, but not letting it get in the way.
Alterlaric calls Elena and reveals his sinister plan, and as usual, Caroline is the torture victim. I think I've become desensitized to this. I've seen Caro tortured too many times, and I don't for a second think that any lasting harm will actually come to her. So I just sigh and gear up for a few more scenes of this.
I think Klaus may be the only vampire in Mystic Falls NOT to have been invited into the Gilbert Domicile. Could it be that Team Mystic Falls is learning? (Probably not.)
I SEE YOU, DAMON/JEREMY. Stefan sends Jeremy up to his room, but Jeremy resists like a true teenager until Damon lays down the law, and Jeremy GOES. Oh, this bromance. I love it, I ship it, I insist it's a thing. IT'S A THING, DAMNIT.
Klaus's little troll face is too adorable. He sets up his quip about the doppelganger, and he just looks so gleeful to be the villain. And then Damon retorts with his own snarky face, and these three should probably just run away together and sass each other and be amazing. Don't even try to tell me you wouldn't watch that.
Klaus launches a newspaper at the window like an extremely aggressive paperboy. I cackle.
Meanwhile, Elena walks into her trap, as she does, and Caroline is restrained in a typically twisted way. I suppose that since there are no students left in Mystic Falls High School there's an excess of pencils. Alterlaric is really just trying not to waste their resources.
I really liked this line: "How many times do I have to tell you, Elena? Stop trusting vampires!" This was awesome. It's a theme - Alterlaric has been insisting that vampires are evil and can't be trusted. And now he is one, and his line remains unchanged. It's true fanaticism, and it makes him a pretty intriguing villain.
Klaus is still trying to gain access to the Gilbert house, and let's be honest, his continued petulant attempts to get in were hilarious. He was essentially having a temper tantrum. This scene was made of lolz.
This neighborhood is so cute! I'm not sure I've ever noticed how adorable all the other houses on this street are. Well done, Mystic Falls/Georgia.
Ok, guys, the brat prince showdown between Klaus and Damon? FUCKING ADORABLE. Like, they were so childish. It was legit hilarious. Klaus starts throwing things like a toddler, and instead of getting the fuck out of the way like everybody else, Damon taunts him. THESE TWO. Remember what I said about them running away together? Yeah. YEAH.
Then Klaus threatens to burn the place down, and looks legit disappointed when he doesn't get to. Too amusing.
The Klamon is the best. I get happy tingles when my boys start pacing the porch, scheming together, and when both Klaus and Damon make their lack of concern for the death of primary characters (and themselves and each other) apparent, I seal-clap. These two are so awful. Never change, my boys.
So did Bonnie take a moment in all this crisis to shower? Because her hair was very straight, and I fail to see how else that could have occurred. #logic baton, just go away
Back at the school, we're finding new ways to torture Caroline! This torture porn is a lot less porn-ish than the last round (hello Damon/Rebekah torture porn of glory and ridiculously defined ab muscles), so it's a lot less fun. Sorry, Caroline. But you will be ok.
Alaric wants Elena to stake Caroline, and it's decently interesting. He insists that this was her desire all along - to kill vampires. Now it seems to me that Elena was training with Alaric to learn how to protect herself, but it's intriguing to see Alaric take this activity they did together, something that was supposed to make things better, and turn it into something dark, an active endeavor to murder. Elena has been getting more and more ruthless, but Alaric is trying to turn her into a killer, and is insisting that she intended this somewhere deep down. I don't know if this will lead anywhere, but it's something to think on.
Damon and Bonnie are waiting for Abby Chez Salvatore, and again, I get nervous, because they're alone together. Just. Don't let anyone pretend this is a real thing, show. Please?
But irrational concern aside, this was fun. Damon is snarky and glorious as ever, and he tells it like it is. Boy does not believe in unfounded faith in people, least of all parental figures. And in a weird way, he's probably trying to help Bonnie by preparing her for the worst. But then again, he's also just being a dick, which, yes, carry on. Also, nice clocks, Mr. Salvatore.
I must admit, I'm surprised that they were able to contact Abby. I assumed she'd disappear from the radar. And yet, she's here, and Bonnie is typically wonderful in the way she deals with her. She's not over-the-top cruel or punishing to her awful repeatedly abandoning mother, but she's not open and vulnerable and desperate either. Basically, I continue to approve of everything regarding Bonnie's treatment of Abby.
Klaus and Stefan cruise up to the school like the ultimate cop duo, and Klaus wins everything by echoing Damon and actually uttering the words "epic failure." Good man.
Meanwhile, surely Stefan wouldn't actually allow Klaus to take Elena, even if he went with him, right? I could not tell his level of earnestness here. Sometimes you are a mystery to me, Stefan Salvatore. And then there's the foolish but endlessly romantic Klefan part of me that secretly hopes Stefan wants to go with them for Klaus, not Elena (I KNOW, whatever, leave me alone). And then Klaus starts openly shipping Stefan/Elena, and I know he's being manipulative and troll-like, but it still makes me roll my eyes a bit, because Klaus knows more than anyone that Stefan is not the better option. Klaus is, in fact, the only character (with the exception of Damon and probably Rebekah) who actually remembers Ripper Stefan exists. But whatever. I'll let it go, because:
BROTHERSHIP. Stefan reminds me why I love him when he declares his loyalty to his brother and basically admits what I was ranting about last week - that this business with Elena is not going to break them. Yes, they might agree to separate (more on that scene later), but they're still the Salvatore Brothers, more so now than they've been in a century and a half, and a girl is not going to destroy them. Klaus keeps trying to play them like a typical love triangle, persistently not realizing that this is no ordinary triangle - that the girl has nothing to do with these two. Their issues are entirely separate from the fact that they're both in love with Elena, and they will handle this situation. Stefan doesn't falter for a second in this confrontation with Klaus, and I love him for it. The Salvatores always prevail.
Damon and the Bennett ladies have a bit of exposition, and then Damon does his almost-not-quite apology thing, which, typically, doesn't work. But bless him, he tried, in his way. But Abby is a Bennett, and she doesn't owe him forgiveness anyway, so she's unyielding, and he takes it. This situation is what it is. I don't mind this, to be honest. There are still a lot of unexplored issues regarding Abby's turning, but the show hasn't forgotten it, so that's something.
Also, Damon's "OMG YOUR MOM IS JUST. UGH." look to Bonnie was PRICELESS. The actual best.
Abby warns Bonnie about the spell, and all I can think is, "WE'RE GOING DARK!BONNIE, GUYS." It's happening.
I love how fierce Bonnie becomes when she's going against her mother. "You have no idea what I can handle." Go girl go.
Damon says he's Team Bonnie. This guy is so part of fandom.
Bonnie has to stop a human heart along with a vampire heart, and it's all pretty typical Book of the Dead stuff, but it's still pretty cool. Bless Damon for requesting a translation, though. This boy continues to be everything I need.
OMG THIS PART. Bonnie and the phone. Just. ALL THE LOLZ. JUST. DYING. This was such a hilariously egregious product placement. Unreal. It was legitimately a part of the plot. This is an offense perhaps only matched by the famous MiFi, and even then it's a toss up. Ridiculous. There was actual lol-ing in my living room.
Question: was Damon actually telling Jeremy he'd rather Jeremy died rather than risk the chance of him becoming a psycho murderer? Because I can't really imagine this would be ok with ANYONE on Team Mystic Falls. Did I misunderstand? Or did my Damon/Jeremy ship really just take that much of a hit?
I cheered when Jeremy insisted that Elena was his sister and no one would fight harder for her than him. Team Gilberts! Siblings for all the wins.
My boys all swig from the same blood shot, and I enjoy it. Whatever, leave me alone.
Klaus reveals that he's the sire of basically everyone's bloodline, and I'm with Damon, I don't buy it. It's not that I don't believe that Klaus could be their Original. But the timing rings of opportunism, and to be fair, that's what's kept Klaus alive so long, but I would not consider this question answered as yet. Just saying.
Here's the thing. Alterlaric is not good, and he's not right. This is clear. But this? "You need me. Because you're an 18-year-old girl without parents or guidance or any sense of right and wrong anymore." Not UNtrue. Not that Elena can't tell between right and wrong anymore. Of course she still has a sense of the right thing to do. However, it is pretty undeniable at this point that Elena's perspective has become skewed. Living in a world in which at least 50% of her loved ones are vampires has changed how she looks at the world. What would have been absolutely unacceptable at the start of season 1 is now unfortunate but necessary collateral damage. I love Elena for her increasingly dark mindset. But it is true that she is willing to go further now than she was when we first met her, and that some people might not see that as a good thing.
I highly approved of the fact that Alterlaric used that lovely, compassionate conversation between Caroline and Alaric as evidence that vampires are monsters. He's wrong, of course, but it almost hurt to hear him use that moment of kindness against Caroline, and I liked it. It was a surprising and effective choice. And then, because I love misery and cruelty:
"Do you actually think they would be proud of you?"
OUCH. And wow. Because on the one hand, yes, of course they would be, because Elena is wonderful and strong and amazing. But on the other hand...would they be at all ok with what she's willing to do to protect the vampires in her life? And worst of all, Elena wonders this. She has thought about this before. And now Alterlaric is voicing her fears, and there's this terrible moment when she feels like she's let her parents down. Oh, my poor girl.
Then Elena tricks Alterlaric and takes him down, and it is THE BEST. She was fucking magnificent.
Guys. This Klaroline scene. I mean...I know that Klaroline is a lolzy ship. I KNOW that. But...this scene? It was kind of perfect. I LOVE the unlikely truth that when Klaus tells Caroline "It's me. It's ok, you're safe." he means it. This is Klaus, supervillain and terror of all. And he's telling Caroline she can relax, because he's here, and he will protect her. It shouldn't make any sense, but somehow it does, and it's awesome.
Then he tells her to run, and promises her he'll save Elena. He's helping. And we've already established that Klaus realizes that Caroline is not interested in him, that she's with Tyler and nothing will change that. But he's still here, saving her, because he cares about her. And Caroline sees it, and realizes that he wasn't just interested in her for fun or because he was bored and wanted a plaything. He's genuine. He's crazy and irrational and totally wrong for her, but he's genuine. And it doesn't change how she feels about him, and he understands that she's never going to want him. But in this one glorious moment, he shows that he cares about her, and she not only sees it, but accepts it. And for an instant, they are finally on the same page.
Elena and Alterlaric face off, and Elena holds her own like a champ. She calls his bluff and doesn't show a shred of fear. I beam with pride. Then Alterlaric backs down, and Elena adopts Damon's "thinking it through" face. My pride in her expands exponentially.
Damon and Stefan do NOT do a good job of restraining Alaric. They both get dead pretty quickly. It's fairly amusing. Ah, these two and their epic failures.
Klaus does a much better job, which, to be fair, he really ought to, but Alaric still has him down when Elena WINS EVERYTHING. She's figured it all out, and it's actually quite clever. You may have been the worst, Esther, but your plan was pretty decent. Allowing Alterlaric only one human lifespan was a good move, and I'm actually pretty impressed. But I'm even MORE impressed with my girl for working everything out and actually being badass enough to START CUTTING HER OWN THROAT. My girl is the greatest. And I will never not love Elena using her mortality as a weapon. This is the dark Elena that I was talking about, and I can't see a damn thing wrong with her. You can suck it, Alterlaric, because she is flawless.
And since no one can stand in the way of such amazingness, Alterlaric backs down, and Klaus whisks Elena away. Damon and Stefan remain dead on the floor. Not even gonna lie, I laughed. Judge me as you will.
So we're back to Klaus draining Elena for a potential hybrid stash to keep in the cooler. Poor Klaus looks so depressed that it's come to this.
Ok, moment of whinging: WHY oh why did Elena ask Tyler to get Stefan? Forgive my Damon bias, but shouldn't it at least have been Stefan AND Damon? Or really anyone? I do not care for the idea that Elena still thinks of Stefan as her most reliable saviour after EVERYTHING. Ugh. My mind started fanwanking this before the scene was even over - I can pretend to myself that Elena just requested Stefan because she knows Klaus won't hurt him, while he'll absolutely hurt just about everyone else. But as much as I rationalize this to myself, it still bothers me. So Stefan is still the Hero. Fuck it. Whatever. But we should probably send all the writers box sets of season 3 just so they can remember that most of this season actually happened. Because I'm starting to wonder.
I couldn't care enough about Tyler's struggle, because it really seemed to me that he should just do as Klaus said and then call everyone to come rescue her. I suppose we were supposed to sympathize with him and his desire to help her. But it seemed so obvious that the better move was to bugger off and call for backup. Whatever. You be conflicted, Tyler.
Klaus and Elena remind me why I ship everyone and everything on this show. Also, Elena would definitely be asleep long before the last drop of blood is drawn. But why let logistics ruin a good moment.
Damon wakes up and asks "Why am I still alive?" That's what my flist has been asking for weeks! I love that even Damon knows he should have been dead so many times over by now.
God, there are so many levels of who needs Elena alive for what at this point, and it's making my head spin. But at least we all need her alive rather than dead! Vast improvement over last season.
I had a moment of eyebrow raising when Alterlaric said "You two better get doing what you do best - saving Elena's life." Because aren't all their plans spectacularly unsuccessful? But then I thought, well, she's technically still alive, so, carry on, Salvatores. I suppose whatever you're doing is working well enough.
Why doesn't Klaus just take Elena on the road with him? That way, even if Alterlaric follows them, he could probably get more blood from her up until the last moment.
"By attempting to kill us, my mother strengthened the bond between my siblings and I." Siblings and ME, Klaus. God. I could get over your persistent attempts to murder your children, Esther, but couldn't you at least have taught them proper grammar?
There's a parallel between what Klaus is saying here and the strengthening bond of the Salvatores after all of this murder and mayhem, yes? Klaus is the Esther of the Salvatores - his terrorization has actually brought the two closer together, just as Stefan said. But Klaus and his siblings aren't actually closer after Esther's attempts to kill them (except for maybe Kol, but he's off somewhere with his baseball bat and is thus irrelevant). Poor Klaus. What he wanted from this terrible family situation he actually unwittingly granted to the Salvatores.
Elena continues to be a fierce warrior princess, sassing Klaus even as she's being drained of blood. My girl was the greatest in this episode.
Klaus continues to promote the OT3, which just makes me *facepalm* a bit. Seriously, there was no talk of a choice until Klaus suddenly became the voice of the impending season finale. Alas. It's all made worth it for this line:
"But just between us girls, who would you have picked?"
OH, KLAUS. I love him dearly. Too adorable.
I will say, despite my frustration with this heavy-handed choice business, I do love that it was acknowledged that part of Elena's reluctance to choose is because she doesn't want to destroy the relationship between the Salvatores. Elena is not stringing them along for her own benefit. Yes, she doesn't know what she wants, but that's not it. She's not so selfish. She doesn't want to choose, because she wants for them to be ok, to be brothers again. She hates that she has the potential power to ruin what they've finally, painstakingly built again. She won't be Katherine - not because Katherine couldn't decide, but because Katherine broke them. And all Elena wants to do is put the Salvatores back together.
So, basically, Elena ships Stefan/Damon. Good girl.
Tyler comes to rescue Elena, and I am utterly unsurprised when he gets caught. Don't these people all have super hearing?
Meanwhile, Tyler takes a stand against Klaus, and I'm ready to be into it, but then he goes and says he did it "by breaking every bone in my body a hundred times for the girl I love." Ugh, Tyler. Why. Can we NOT make this about Caroline? Can't we just have Tyler reclaiming ownership of himself, oh, I don't know, FOR himself? Do not want this to be about the love of a good woman saving him. Fuck that. And then he goes on about the strength of real love, and I *facepalm.* Tyler/Caroline, stop making yourselves into this.
Klaus spends a lot of time telling people they should be thanking him, doesn't he? Whatever. I thank you for your existence, Klaus.
Then Tyler accuses him of just not wanting to be alone, and yeah, that's true, but everyone is being SO MEAN to Klaus! And yes, he probably deserves it. But Klaus's shattered face is right up there below Damon's shattered face, so it does things to my heart.
Klaus knocks Elena to the floor and she goes down hard, and this was just one of the many instances during which I wondered, will THIS be what causes Elena to flashback? I'm sort of wishing I didn't know that was going to happen, because I spent entirely too much time waiting for Elena to incur some sort of head trauma or massive blood loss and start hallucinating.
Then the boys show up and tag-team to restrain Klaus, and it goes a lot better this time around. Stefan grasps for Klaus's heart, because OF COURSE it had to be Stefan, and not gonna lie, I loved how the show amplified Klaus's racing and then slowing heartbeat. It made the moment - and the connection between Klaus and Stefan - very intense.
Ok, but seriously, how right am I? We are SO getting Dark!Bonnie. Yes? Yes.
But, guys. There was actual Klefan. FOR SERIOUS, HONEST TO GOD, ACTUAL KLEFAN. I'm not making this up! SO MUCH KLEFAN. And it was fucking amazing. I loved what they did with this scene. Because the second the boys don't need him anymore, Damon splits off and checks on Elena, because she is his first priority (my OTP heart fluttered). Tyler is in the background in grim triumph. Klaus looks around, registering everything, taking it all in. And Stefan? Can't take his eyes away from Klaus. He is LOCKED onto Klaus, in this horrible, dawning moment, when he realizes that he doesn't hate Klaus. He does hate Klaus, but he doesn't just hate Klaus. All these things Klaus has been saying about their connection, their bond, their friendship? They're all true. It doesn't change anything. Stefan wants to kill Klaus...but suddenly he's not sure he wants him dead. It's this awful, fantastic moment, when Stefan just feels, feels all these things about and for this man he hates, and it just freezes him. And then Klaus looks back at Stefan, wide-eyed, accusing, vulnerable, and it hurts.
OOH, and I just noticed something. Tyler lays Klaus down, and Stefan's standing stock-still, and he does that finger twitch thing he's done a few times, usually when he's in some very acute emotional distress. Much like Damon, when Stefan is at his most agonized and conflicted, he actually becomes very quiet and reserved. But I've noticed that he does this nervous twitch with his fingers that's the only indication of how hard he's taking it. Maybe I'm reading way too much into this and it doesn't mean anything. Or maybe it means everything.
Meanwhile, Bonnie totally got a taste of the dark magic temptation, and she was into it (I'm telling you...YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST). But she's still Bonnie, and she freaks out when Jeremy won't wake up. So here's the part when I confess that sometimes I am romantic: I have a thing for forehead touching (when done well). So I actually found this Bonnie/Jeremy moment adorable. I have to admit, I shipped Bonnie/Jeremy back in the day (remember, it takes almost nothing to get me to ship anything on this show). And while I completely understand the breakdown of their relationship, they still always felt a bit unfinished to me. So I really loved that they had this moment when even though all their problems are still undoubtedly there, for one second that's insignificant, because of course they still love each other, and that's what matters.
My Salvatore boys drop Elena off, and I love how they're completely in tandem in their overprotectiveness. Brothership forever, basically.
Ok, so, this scene. Here's the thing. On it's own, it's fine. Yes, we know that Elena doesn't want to lose either of them, and she's proving herself to be the superior heroine in a love triangle by being frank about her dilemma. But. I just can't get over the abruptness of this choice nonsense. WHY is it suddenly necessary that she make a choice? It just feels so sudden and season finale contrived, and it bothers me. First of all, there is no reason why she needs to make her decision at this precise moment. Next up, my raging OTP-shipping aside, when did Damon become an actual viable option? Up until this episode, it sure seemed to me like Damon/Elena was a thing that everyone ignored. Elena never once wavered from her faith in Stefan, and she only agreed to explore her feelings for Damon because he told her to. As I understand it, Elena is heavily in denial about her feelings for Damon, and even the 3x19 incident wasn't enough to make her get over her massive mental block toward him. So how is this suddenly an even chance? Again, it's outside the show force. You all know how I feel about D/E. In my mind, Elena's feelings for Damon outweigh her current feelings for Stefan. But in canon, Elena has been all about Stefan. Damon is an aside, a mistake, a Disastrous Accident (TM Alex) - he is not boyfriend material. So the idea that somehow we're at this point where she openly admits she has to choose one of them doesn't make any sense to me.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being oversensitive. But I just feel like any impetus for Elena making a choice has nothing to do with what's actually been happening on the show, and I get very annoyed when I feel like outside forces are affecting the world within the show. But I'll survive, since I really do want Elena to make a choice. I just wish it weren't so explicitly framed as a choice. I want Elena to be with one of the Salvatores if and only if she actively wants to be, not because she owes it to them to make a decision. If that's her sole reason for choosing, then I'd rather she stayed single.
So I don't really know how to analyze this scene, in light of my particular reaction to this type of scenario. Nothing Elena says is new, but at least she's being open. Meanwhile, a moment I DID love was when Elena finishes her speech and is waiting for one of them to respond. Stefan looks over at Damon, and Damon nods, directing him, telling him what to do, and Stefan takes the cue and speaks for them. It was a rather lovely moment of Salvatore togetherness in the midst of this situation that could ostensibly tear them apart. They were such a team. And I will never not love Stefan looking to his big brother for guidance, and Damon giving it because he knows Stefan needs his help. My boys are flawless, basically.
Then Elena walks in on our wonderful kids celebrating, and it's awesome. Not gonna lie, I spent the entirety of this scene waiting for something to go wrong, so I was rather distracted. But now that I know that it really is just a well-deserved happy scene, I love it to pieces. These people are friends, were friends long before all this crazy supernatural stuff started happening to them. And they've lost most of their parents, and they're raising each other and saving each other and just being there for each other as much as they can. This show is about family, and look, here's one now.
Things of note: Matt seems very disappointed to have been left out of the plotting. The kid just wants to be included. Aww, Matt.
I do need to whinge for a second: Caroline. Stop it. WHY does Elena need to choose eventually? She doesn't have to be with EITHER of them if she doesn't want to be. She owes the Salvatores nothing. So I wish Caroline would stop being the voice of the romantic storylines and just leave Elena well enough alone. Elena doesn't have to choose anything. All she needs to do is figure out what she herself wants. That's that.
Elena "not condoning" Jeremy drinking is THE BEST. I adore the Gilberts beyond reason.
Also, Caroline and Tyler were adorable again, just being a normal couple. I ship normal now! What a revelation.
Meanwhile, Alterlaric has called a council meeting to wreak havoc. Mischievous little thing. So, is the finale going to be all the middle-aged fairly useless vampire hunter council members vs. Team Mystic Falls? Who even knows.
But GUYS. I cannot even express how happy this Brothership scene makes me. Just watching the first part again has me grinning like an absolute fool. THEY ARE TOO PERFECT TO BE REAL. God, just, the playfulness, the banter, how fucking obvious it is that they love each other? I DIE. I seriously can't pick which line to quote. First of all, Damon is flawless, let's get that out of the way. "How many desiccated hybrids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Just. How do you exist. And he does his little smirk after his clever line, and the best part? STEFAN SMILES BACK. This is everything I have waited for for three seasons. All I've ever wanted is for these brothers to be this - happy, together.
"Once more with feeling!" Actually has me flailing around like an idiot. And Stefan does it, because he can, because he wants to, because they're the famous Salvatore Brothers, together again. THIS IS TOO MUCH JOY FOR MY FRAGILE HEART TO CONTAIN.
THEN STEFAN THANKS DAMON. I can't even, guys. I am lost. And the way Damon sort of brushes it off with a joke and his little 'meh' noise, because he can make fun of their mutual ridiculousness. And through it all, there's this air of casual understanding. It's a light-hearted scene, but it says everything. Stefan feels more gratitude toward Damon than he can ever express. Damon is beyond thrilled and relieved that his brother is well and truly back. They will trivialize everything they're feeling, because they can have epic fights, but when it comes to happiness they are quiet. But they feel so much for each other, and finally, finally, they get it. They don't need any grand sweeping declarations of love, because they already know. At last.
Meanwhile, I continue to adore Damon Salvatore beyond all reason. "You know how these things pan out, Stefan. Probably make a list of pros and cons and at the end of the day dump both our asses." Damon Salvatore does not buy into contrived doomed love triangles, thank you very much. He has no interest in indulging in the drama of this legitimately complex romantic entanglement. He also doesn't care to fret about what happens when Elena makes The Choice. That's not how this boy works. That is forced, that is manufactured, that isn't real. Damon doesn't care what Julie Plec's been telling people. It'll happen when it happens, if it happens. That's the beginning and the end of it. #Damon Salvatore is unimpressed by your romantic stereotypes
I LOVE Ian's delivery of "Then she'll pick one of us." Damon doesn't want to think about this - he doesn't see the point. That isn't in the here and now (Damon seems to be unaware that it's season finale time - BLESS HIM). He's so begrudging when he acknowledges the possibility that Elena will pick one of them. Damon has never been about the love triangle, and he finds the whole business tiresome. I love him so much for it.
Of course, Stefan, much as I love him, DOES buy into romantic tropes, and he insists on incorporating this love triangle into his own narrative. So he gets the ball rolling with his magnanimous (you're welcome, Alex) promise to leave town should the odds go against him. Because he's a dramatic romantic hero like that. Whatever, Stefan. Do what you do.
Then Damon continues to be utterly flawless: "Then in 60 years, we'll go back to being brothers and none of this will have mattered, right?" My boy, you are perfect. First of all, allow me to be obnoxious and clamour about how I'm right. Damon does not believe that Elena choosing between them will destroy them. The Salvatores are an entity entirely separate from Elena Gilbert, and Damon believes that to his core. Next up, I adore how Damon is always, always thinking about his brother, even when the stakes are this high. Damon has no desire for Stefan to leave, regardless of who Elena picks. Damon doesn't want this. He doesn't want things to get tricky and uncomfortable and fraught between the three of them. He just wants everyone to be happy - it doesn't matter who they find happiness with. So Damon insists that Stefan understand that he isn't losing Damon. No matter who Elena chooses, Damon and Stefan are brothers, for all eternity. In the grand scheme of things, 60 years is nothing. And after it all, it will be Damon and Stefan again, like it's always been, like it always will be. Stefan needs to understand that, because Damon knows, and Damon will not lose his brother again.
But if Stefan needs to write his own saga to help him cope, Damon will allow it, for now. So he acquiesces, and it's adorable. His "Fine. If she chooses you, I'll - leave town too." Is so fucking curmudgeonly, and it's ADORABLE. I love this boy to distraction. This isn't how he wants the situation to go. He thinks it's rather unnecessary. But he will do what Stefan needs him to do, because they're brothers, and he will do whatever he has to do to ensure that Stefan is ok. In Damon's mind, if Elena choosing Stefan, she will be letting go of any need she has for him. So then the only person left to help is Stefan, and Damon will do whatever Stefan requires. This boy is loyal to a fault, and he will let this happen, despite his own wishes, because he just needs for Stefan and Elena to be happy.
The Gilberts close out the episode, and that is right. It was always going to be Elena and Jeremy, in the end. So many people have tried to help them, to take care of them, but they all fell, one by one. Elena and Jeremy survive, and they survive for each other. Gilberts forever.
Elena Gilbert is flawless, yes? Yes. Because her speech about how she will be the bad guy if it means protecting these people that she loves? Perfection. This is what I was talking about. Elena is darker - she makes choices that some would consider to be wrong. She admits that her parents may well have been disappointed in her. But this Elena - this stronger, harder, fiercer Elena? Doesn't care. She knows who she is now. She will protect the people she loves, no matter what the cost. And maybe that's wrong. But she finally understands that it doesn't matter if it's wrong. It's not wrong to her.
"So if it makes me the bad guy for wanting to keep those people alive, then, fine. I'll be the bad guy."
MY PERFECT LADY. Amazing. (Also, hello Damon. These two are the same. All arguments are invalid.)
Of course, Jeremy can't let Elena take all the Gilbert glory, so he fires back with another moment of pure excellence: "That would mean I would lose you. I'm not gonna let that happen." I loved everything about this. Because we all talk so much about what Elena would do to save Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Bonnie, but through all that, I have never doubted for one single second that Jeremy is Elena's #1 priority. And that's as it should be. As much as people within and without the show ruminate on Elena's feelings, Elena will always, always choose Jeremy. I believe this to my very core. Elena would let both Damon and Stefan die to save Jeremy. These two kids are it for each other. They are their last remaining family, and that means everything to them. It's Elena and Jeremy, to the end. So this moment just confirmed that it's Team Gilbert, all the way.
And their FACES, JUST. Gorgeous. These two know that it's the two of them, forever. It's just like all the other families on this show. The Originals, always and forever. The Salvatores, in 1864, now, in 60 years, for all eternity. And Elena and Jeremy, the last of the Gilberts. And that's the way it should be.
Then Elena goes down, and I gear up for Flashback Time! I'd been waiting for her to collapse in some sort of hallucinatory fit for ages, so I wasn't exactly shocked. But I will say, the image of her blood mingling with the spilled white paint? Fucking awesome.
So that's that. I seriously enjoyed this episode while I was watching it, but then my regard for it cooled a bit after the fact. It was still a really good episode. But it doesn't exactly have scenes I will watch over and over again (except maybe the Brothership scene...). Still, it was a good time - nay, a GREAT time. One of the more consistently entertaining episodes in a long time.
So let's do this, TVD. Season Finale time. You have a reputation to uphold, and I've heard a lot about this coming episode. Don't let me down. Finish strong. You've made some big promises. Deliver, and deliver well.
Are we ready for this, team?
This is how it always goes. The second to last episode of a season just feels a bit suspended, like you're holding your breath waiting for something - that something being the season finale. I credit TVD over almost every other show with being better at not wasting my time in each episode. This show doesn't subscribe to the common doctrine that important things can only happen in season premieres, episodes before hiatus, and finales. I HATE that doctrine, and I love that real, significant things occur on our show regardless of episode placement. Of course, even if TVD is a superior TV show, it's still a TV show, and season finale rules reign supreme. So even if it tries its best to spread the action evenly throughout the season, a finale is still a finale, and there's no way that by episode 3x21 you're going to be doing anything but obsessing about 3x22. That's just the way it is. That's why I personally loved that the big season 2 climax of the sacrifice happened in 2x21 rather than in the finale - it saved 2x21 from Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome. I can understand why this season didn't do something similar, since there was no big climax to be had. And that's the problem with this episode, I think, and perhaps the problem with the season. I'm not gonna lie: I've loved season 3. Ridiculous flaws and inconsistencies aside, I've loved it, for a whole host of reasons (not the least of which is the fact that this is my first season properly in fandom - hello, fandom!). But I think that at this point we all agree that there hasn't really been a cohesive plot arc to drive the season. The first half of season 3 was very tight, because there was a clear path. But once Stefan was out of Klaus's control, the plot meandered a bit. Things happened on a case by case basis, but the overarching narrative got a bit lost. Operation Kill Klaus became increasingly pointless and unnecessary, and Alterlaric appeared too late in the game to really tie the entire season together. Ultimately, I don't really care, because I'm all about the characters here, so the lack of a strong plot-driven conflict is secondary to my concerns. But this whole impromptu treatise on television rules stems from the fact that I've never felt so affected by outside sources to dictate how I feel about the world within this show.
Let me explain. At this point, everybody knows that Elena is supposed to make her big choice, yes? This has been so heavily publicized that the Mystic Falls town crier is basically announcing it to the world every morning. But I know that more than a few of us have noticed that up until this episode, there was zero indication that Elena was anywhere near making a choice. In fact, there was no evidence that she even intended to make one at all, or that she believed there was one to be made. The only reason we've all been gearing up for Decision Day is because everyone OUTSIDE the show has been telling us it's coming. So THAT has effectively become the big climax of the season, the overarching plot that ties the season together. Because you can show us all the Originals scheming and Alterlaric machinations you want to, but we've all been far too preoccupied by the talk of Elena's romantic conflict for way too long to pay enough attention. I say this not as a shipper, but rather as someone who thinks entirely too much about this show and has realized that part of the reason why this season has suffered a lack of plot intensity is that the creators and media have unintentionally sabotaged the show's efforts to deliver said plot. It's not that there aren't things going on in the show. It's just that we are too distracted by the constant peddling of Elena's Choice to focus on what's actually happening within the show.
All this to say that I think the reason why this episode was good but ultimately pointless is that I just felt like it was all moving toward the much-hyped Season Finale Choice. I spent half the episode looking for clues to prove that Elena was actually aware she was supposed to be making this choice that Julie Plec's been swearing she will, and the other half waiting for Elena to pass out so she could start having those widely advertised flashbacks. Basically, people have been talking too much about the finale, and it aggravated the already present Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome to the point of it being distracting. I feel like I will be able to enjoy this episode a lot more after 3x22, when I can stop thinking about how everything is trying to get us to that point and just focus on what actually happened in the episode.
This was a long and unnecessary tangent. See, I told you I'd find a way to make this recap long!
So despite all the above ramblings, I actually really liked this episode. So we will start, as ever, from the beginning.
The episode opens with a shot of books, and I literally utter, "LOL, school." These people spend so much more time trying to murder and/or save each other in this place than they do actually attending classes.
Then it gets creepy, and they flash to some random Civil War pictures and models. Part of me wants to close-read this, and the far lazier, PESS-affected (that's Penultimate Episode of the Season Syndrome, for those of you watching at home) part of me just assumes it's supposed to be eerie and violent. Let's just move on.
Alaric is chilling, being evil. Ok, man. Do what you do.
This Caroline/Tyler phonecall is encouraging, since it seems to indicate that they've both figured out that Klaroline is not a real thing (except when it is, but still. More on that later.). Tyler was blissfully rational, and they were remarkably contrived-drama-free. And guys! I had legitimate Forwood feelings! In the most unexpected of places. When Tyler just casually signs off with "I love you" and Caroline echoes it, like you do when you're hanging up with the people you love, like it's no big deal, cause it's just part of what you do - I liked this so much! I had actual shippy feelings! I have been pretty apathetic about Caro/Tyler for most of the season, but something about how everyday and throwaway this was made it work for me so much. Maybe I just want these two to be a normal couple. I have been very *epic eye roll* about all the manufactured love triangle/lovers torn asunder business between them this season, but maybe all I need to ship these two again is to see them acting like a normal, functional couple. No starcrossed lovers for me, thank you very much. Just two kids in love, I guess. Huh, who knew.
So is the clean up committee exclusively made up of Caroline, Rebekah, and Matt? Or is everyone else on it just dead by now?
But anyway, my two blonde queens have a scene together, and it makes me happy. Caroline/Rebekah is a relationship that has all sorts of undertones but very little actual interaction, so I was pretty thrilled that this scene existed. Because even aside from the blonde connect, these two are so similar, which is part of why there's so much animosity between them. But it also means they share similar compassion (even if it's reluctant compassion), so seeing the two of them begrudgingly reach out to each other because that's who they both are was really rather lovely.
But my poor Rebekah still didn't get to go to the dance. Will someone just let her go to a fucking high school dance already?
Question: is Esther properly dead now? I don't know why I didn't realize that from last week. I guess I thought she'd just been temporarily staked, which, now that I think about it, seems like a foolish conclusion, but alas, I never claimed to be intelligent. So Esther's dead, then? Whatever. Can't say I'll miss her, and can't say I'll be surprised if she turns up again.
So Caroline and Rebekah have this lovely moment of understanding and sympathy, and then they team up to take down Alaric. All good things so far. Seeing my blonde lady warriors combine strength to stake Alaric and then simultaneously realize he can't be killed by said stake made me a bit gleeful. I just love teamwork, ok?
They run away, and Caro fumbles with her keys like a classic horror movie victim. Come on, Caro. First of all, who still needs to unlock their car door like that? Secondly, if you can't get in the car? Just keep running. In superspeed. Seriously, why wasn't she vamp!speeding the hell out of there? Whatever, plot reasons, fine. #don't think I'm not still inconveniently distracted by logistics
Alterlaric snaps her neck and drags her inside to catchy music, burning all the while. It was badass, and I dug it. But again...why wasn't he using vamp speed? He was literally burning up. You'd think he might want to hasten the dragging process along. #putting my logic baton down...for now
The Gilberts are painting! I love the Gilberts and their powering through their terrible lives.
This scene was also made of Jeremy Gilbert Win. I actually cheered for Jeremy Cleaver Gilbert throughout this scene. He was the best.
Stefan and Elena try to share a cute glance of happy soon-to-be-reconciled lovers (you're right, Elena, it's super romantic that Stefan offers to help you guys paint - though he's used to painting walls red with the blood of his victims, but, LOL, no one cares about that, did that even happen? Naw, let's just go back to being adorable), and then Jeremy ruins the moment like a champ and just calls them out on their obnoxious dance around each other. He just flat out demands in a SUPER judge-y voice if they're back together, and I applaud Jeremy Gilbert for being a magnificent brat. THANK YOU, Jeremy. Because we were all wondering. Bless you for being brazen enough to just say it outright. Also the absolute best?
"But if you are trying to be the good guy again, why don't you do the right thing and give us one day? Just one day without any vampires in it?"
YOU GO, JEREMY GILBERT. I loved this. And I loved how angry he was. Jeremy's just been dealt this utterly crushing blow, again, and he's tired of it. So he does the most wonderful, justified, glorious thing, and doesn't let Stefan and Elena make all this grief and misery about their Epic Romance. He just tells Stefan to GTFO, because for once this should be about the humans and their human loss. Unfortunately, things never go as they should in this town, but Jeremy was 100% correct, and I loved him for it.
Elena tries to excuse him, but at least Stefan knew as well as I did that, yes, Jeremy absolutely did mean it. And why wouldn't he?
I do wonder what even goes on in this Gilbert house. Stefan just walks in with no comment. Then he answers the door despite the fact that he is not a resident, and continues to have a full conversation with the newcomers without either of the Gilberts even bothering to check who was at the door (and now in their house). Then Elena manages to leave the house and drive away without ANYONE noticing despite the fact that all of the unacknowledged guests were downstairs. Did anyone else wonder how she managed that? Basically, what is the deal with this house? It's basically a rest stop for the traumatized and life-threatened.
OH MY GOD, guys. I just noticed upon rewatch that Klaus is packing up his paintings. Just. This is an actual joke. How many boxes of paintings do you think he has? Does he have an entire separate moving truck for his collected works of angry impressionism?
I remain convinced as ever that RebeKlaus is the true OTP of this show. Seriously, this scene was so fucking romantic and tragic. "We'll protect each other, like we always have. Always and forever, Nic." IN LOVE. But for reals. These two have been everything to each other for a thousand years. They don't want to live without each other, but they're too proud to admit it, and they're too insistent upon following their own paths. So Rebekah determines to leave, and Klaus refuses to divert from his agenda. But it's tearing them up, because all they want to do is be together. I will ship it to the grave.
And THEIR FACES, just. Rebekah desperately trying to hold off tears, Klaus looking frozen and stricken and stoic, and these two are just amazing. I love them.
I seriously wish I could just enjoy any scene with Bonnie and Damon together without worrying that it would feed the hoard of crazed Bonnie/Damon shippers just waiting for a sign to pounce on their irrelevant ship. I get that they're a thing in the books. But if the random excerpts I've skimmed in airport bookshops are any indication, I'm overwhelmingly glad this show is nothing like the books, so can we just leave this well enough alone? There are enough romantic entanglements on this show already. I do not need Bonnie/Damon. (So, basically, put your inappropriate chemistry with everything AWAY, Mr. Somerhalder. It is not needed, and it will only get you into trouble.)
I continue to love Damon to distraction. "Because I do stupid things, Bonnie. I do things like let my friend die with dignity when I should have just killed him." It's classic Damon, revealing his guilt and self-loathing through an angry, sarcastic comment in the middle of an argument. He's not looking for comfort, and he's certainly not looking to reveal his emotional vulnerability. But of course his failure to protect Alaric from this situation is eating away at him, and I love the boy for getting it out there, but not letting it get in the way.
Alterlaric calls Elena and reveals his sinister plan, and as usual, Caroline is the torture victim. I think I've become desensitized to this. I've seen Caro tortured too many times, and I don't for a second think that any lasting harm will actually come to her. So I just sigh and gear up for a few more scenes of this.
I think Klaus may be the only vampire in Mystic Falls NOT to have been invited into the Gilbert Domicile. Could it be that Team Mystic Falls is learning? (Probably not.)
I SEE YOU, DAMON/JEREMY. Stefan sends Jeremy up to his room, but Jeremy resists like a true teenager until Damon lays down the law, and Jeremy GOES. Oh, this bromance. I love it, I ship it, I insist it's a thing. IT'S A THING, DAMNIT.
Klaus's little troll face is too adorable. He sets up his quip about the doppelganger, and he just looks so gleeful to be the villain. And then Damon retorts with his own snarky face, and these three should probably just run away together and sass each other and be amazing. Don't even try to tell me you wouldn't watch that.
Klaus launches a newspaper at the window like an extremely aggressive paperboy. I cackle.
Meanwhile, Elena walks into her trap, as she does, and Caroline is restrained in a typically twisted way. I suppose that since there are no students left in Mystic Falls High School there's an excess of pencils. Alterlaric is really just trying not to waste their resources.
I really liked this line: "How many times do I have to tell you, Elena? Stop trusting vampires!" This was awesome. It's a theme - Alterlaric has been insisting that vampires are evil and can't be trusted. And now he is one, and his line remains unchanged. It's true fanaticism, and it makes him a pretty intriguing villain.
Klaus is still trying to gain access to the Gilbert house, and let's be honest, his continued petulant attempts to get in were hilarious. He was essentially having a temper tantrum. This scene was made of lolz.
This neighborhood is so cute! I'm not sure I've ever noticed how adorable all the other houses on this street are. Well done, Mystic Falls/Georgia.
Ok, guys, the brat prince showdown between Klaus and Damon? FUCKING ADORABLE. Like, they were so childish. It was legit hilarious. Klaus starts throwing things like a toddler, and instead of getting the fuck out of the way like everybody else, Damon taunts him. THESE TWO. Remember what I said about them running away together? Yeah. YEAH.
Then Klaus threatens to burn the place down, and looks legit disappointed when he doesn't get to. Too amusing.
The Klamon is the best. I get happy tingles when my boys start pacing the porch, scheming together, and when both Klaus and Damon make their lack of concern for the death of primary characters (and themselves and each other) apparent, I seal-clap. These two are so awful. Never change, my boys.
So did Bonnie take a moment in all this crisis to shower? Because her hair was very straight, and I fail to see how else that could have occurred. #logic baton, just go away
Back at the school, we're finding new ways to torture Caroline! This torture porn is a lot less porn-ish than the last round (hello Damon/Rebekah torture porn of glory and ridiculously defined ab muscles), so it's a lot less fun. Sorry, Caroline. But you will be ok.
Alaric wants Elena to stake Caroline, and it's decently interesting. He insists that this was her desire all along - to kill vampires. Now it seems to me that Elena was training with Alaric to learn how to protect herself, but it's intriguing to see Alaric take this activity they did together, something that was supposed to make things better, and turn it into something dark, an active endeavor to murder. Elena has been getting more and more ruthless, but Alaric is trying to turn her into a killer, and is insisting that she intended this somewhere deep down. I don't know if this will lead anywhere, but it's something to think on.
Damon and Bonnie are waiting for Abby Chez Salvatore, and again, I get nervous, because they're alone together. Just. Don't let anyone pretend this is a real thing, show. Please?
But irrational concern aside, this was fun. Damon is snarky and glorious as ever, and he tells it like it is. Boy does not believe in unfounded faith in people, least of all parental figures. And in a weird way, he's probably trying to help Bonnie by preparing her for the worst. But then again, he's also just being a dick, which, yes, carry on. Also, nice clocks, Mr. Salvatore.
I must admit, I'm surprised that they were able to contact Abby. I assumed she'd disappear from the radar. And yet, she's here, and Bonnie is typically wonderful in the way she deals with her. She's not over-the-top cruel or punishing to her awful repeatedly abandoning mother, but she's not open and vulnerable and desperate either. Basically, I continue to approve of everything regarding Bonnie's treatment of Abby.
Klaus and Stefan cruise up to the school like the ultimate cop duo, and Klaus wins everything by echoing Damon and actually uttering the words "epic failure." Good man.
Meanwhile, surely Stefan wouldn't actually allow Klaus to take Elena, even if he went with him, right? I could not tell his level of earnestness here. Sometimes you are a mystery to me, Stefan Salvatore. And then there's the foolish but endlessly romantic Klefan part of me that secretly hopes Stefan wants to go with them for Klaus, not Elena (I KNOW, whatever, leave me alone). And then Klaus starts openly shipping Stefan/Elena, and I know he's being manipulative and troll-like, but it still makes me roll my eyes a bit, because Klaus knows more than anyone that Stefan is not the better option. Klaus is, in fact, the only character (with the exception of Damon and probably Rebekah) who actually remembers Ripper Stefan exists. But whatever. I'll let it go, because:
BROTHERSHIP. Stefan reminds me why I love him when he declares his loyalty to his brother and basically admits what I was ranting about last week - that this business with Elena is not going to break them. Yes, they might agree to separate (more on that scene later), but they're still the Salvatore Brothers, more so now than they've been in a century and a half, and a girl is not going to destroy them. Klaus keeps trying to play them like a typical love triangle, persistently not realizing that this is no ordinary triangle - that the girl has nothing to do with these two. Their issues are entirely separate from the fact that they're both in love with Elena, and they will handle this situation. Stefan doesn't falter for a second in this confrontation with Klaus, and I love him for it. The Salvatores always prevail.
Damon and the Bennett ladies have a bit of exposition, and then Damon does his almost-not-quite apology thing, which, typically, doesn't work. But bless him, he tried, in his way. But Abby is a Bennett, and she doesn't owe him forgiveness anyway, so she's unyielding, and he takes it. This situation is what it is. I don't mind this, to be honest. There are still a lot of unexplored issues regarding Abby's turning, but the show hasn't forgotten it, so that's something.
Also, Damon's "OMG YOUR MOM IS JUST. UGH." look to Bonnie was PRICELESS. The actual best.
Abby warns Bonnie about the spell, and all I can think is, "WE'RE GOING DARK!BONNIE, GUYS." It's happening.
I love how fierce Bonnie becomes when she's going against her mother. "You have no idea what I can handle." Go girl go.
Damon says he's Team Bonnie. This guy is so part of fandom.
Bonnie has to stop a human heart along with a vampire heart, and it's all pretty typical Book of the Dead stuff, but it's still pretty cool. Bless Damon for requesting a translation, though. This boy continues to be everything I need.
OMG THIS PART. Bonnie and the phone. Just. ALL THE LOLZ. JUST. DYING. This was such a hilariously egregious product placement. Unreal. It was legitimately a part of the plot. This is an offense perhaps only matched by the famous MiFi, and even then it's a toss up. Ridiculous. There was actual lol-ing in my living room.
Question: was Damon actually telling Jeremy he'd rather Jeremy died rather than risk the chance of him becoming a psycho murderer? Because I can't really imagine this would be ok with ANYONE on Team Mystic Falls. Did I misunderstand? Or did my Damon/Jeremy ship really just take that much of a hit?
I cheered when Jeremy insisted that Elena was his sister and no one would fight harder for her than him. Team Gilberts! Siblings for all the wins.
My boys all swig from the same blood shot, and I enjoy it. Whatever, leave me alone.
Klaus reveals that he's the sire of basically everyone's bloodline, and I'm with Damon, I don't buy it. It's not that I don't believe that Klaus could be their Original. But the timing rings of opportunism, and to be fair, that's what's kept Klaus alive so long, but I would not consider this question answered as yet. Just saying.
Here's the thing. Alterlaric is not good, and he's not right. This is clear. But this? "You need me. Because you're an 18-year-old girl without parents or guidance or any sense of right and wrong anymore." Not UNtrue. Not that Elena can't tell between right and wrong anymore. Of course she still has a sense of the right thing to do. However, it is pretty undeniable at this point that Elena's perspective has become skewed. Living in a world in which at least 50% of her loved ones are vampires has changed how she looks at the world. What would have been absolutely unacceptable at the start of season 1 is now unfortunate but necessary collateral damage. I love Elena for her increasingly dark mindset. But it is true that she is willing to go further now than she was when we first met her, and that some people might not see that as a good thing.
I highly approved of the fact that Alterlaric used that lovely, compassionate conversation between Caroline and Alaric as evidence that vampires are monsters. He's wrong, of course, but it almost hurt to hear him use that moment of kindness against Caroline, and I liked it. It was a surprising and effective choice. And then, because I love misery and cruelty:
"Do you actually think they would be proud of you?"
OUCH. And wow. Because on the one hand, yes, of course they would be, because Elena is wonderful and strong and amazing. But on the other hand...would they be at all ok with what she's willing to do to protect the vampires in her life? And worst of all, Elena wonders this. She has thought about this before. And now Alterlaric is voicing her fears, and there's this terrible moment when she feels like she's let her parents down. Oh, my poor girl.
Then Elena tricks Alterlaric and takes him down, and it is THE BEST. She was fucking magnificent.
Guys. This Klaroline scene. I mean...I know that Klaroline is a lolzy ship. I KNOW that. But...this scene? It was kind of perfect. I LOVE the unlikely truth that when Klaus tells Caroline "It's me. It's ok, you're safe." he means it. This is Klaus, supervillain and terror of all. And he's telling Caroline she can relax, because he's here, and he will protect her. It shouldn't make any sense, but somehow it does, and it's awesome.
Then he tells her to run, and promises her he'll save Elena. He's helping. And we've already established that Klaus realizes that Caroline is not interested in him, that she's with Tyler and nothing will change that. But he's still here, saving her, because he cares about her. And Caroline sees it, and realizes that he wasn't just interested in her for fun or because he was bored and wanted a plaything. He's genuine. He's crazy and irrational and totally wrong for her, but he's genuine. And it doesn't change how she feels about him, and he understands that she's never going to want him. But in this one glorious moment, he shows that he cares about her, and she not only sees it, but accepts it. And for an instant, they are finally on the same page.
Elena and Alterlaric face off, and Elena holds her own like a champ. She calls his bluff and doesn't show a shred of fear. I beam with pride. Then Alterlaric backs down, and Elena adopts Damon's "thinking it through" face. My pride in her expands exponentially.
Damon and Stefan do NOT do a good job of restraining Alaric. They both get dead pretty quickly. It's fairly amusing. Ah, these two and their epic failures.
Klaus does a much better job, which, to be fair, he really ought to, but Alaric still has him down when Elena WINS EVERYTHING. She's figured it all out, and it's actually quite clever. You may have been the worst, Esther, but your plan was pretty decent. Allowing Alterlaric only one human lifespan was a good move, and I'm actually pretty impressed. But I'm even MORE impressed with my girl for working everything out and actually being badass enough to START CUTTING HER OWN THROAT. My girl is the greatest. And I will never not love Elena using her mortality as a weapon. This is the dark Elena that I was talking about, and I can't see a damn thing wrong with her. You can suck it, Alterlaric, because she is flawless.
And since no one can stand in the way of such amazingness, Alterlaric backs down, and Klaus whisks Elena away. Damon and Stefan remain dead on the floor. Not even gonna lie, I laughed. Judge me as you will.
So we're back to Klaus draining Elena for a potential hybrid stash to keep in the cooler. Poor Klaus looks so depressed that it's come to this.
Ok, moment of whinging: WHY oh why did Elena ask Tyler to get Stefan? Forgive my Damon bias, but shouldn't it at least have been Stefan AND Damon? Or really anyone? I do not care for the idea that Elena still thinks of Stefan as her most reliable saviour after EVERYTHING. Ugh. My mind started fanwanking this before the scene was even over - I can pretend to myself that Elena just requested Stefan because she knows Klaus won't hurt him, while he'll absolutely hurt just about everyone else. But as much as I rationalize this to myself, it still bothers me. So Stefan is still the Hero. Fuck it. Whatever. But we should probably send all the writers box sets of season 3 just so they can remember that most of this season actually happened. Because I'm starting to wonder.
I couldn't care enough about Tyler's struggle, because it really seemed to me that he should just do as Klaus said and then call everyone to come rescue her. I suppose we were supposed to sympathize with him and his desire to help her. But it seemed so obvious that the better move was to bugger off and call for backup. Whatever. You be conflicted, Tyler.
Klaus and Elena remind me why I ship everyone and everything on this show. Also, Elena would definitely be asleep long before the last drop of blood is drawn. But why let logistics ruin a good moment.
Damon wakes up and asks "Why am I still alive?" That's what my flist has been asking for weeks! I love that even Damon knows he should have been dead so many times over by now.
God, there are so many levels of who needs Elena alive for what at this point, and it's making my head spin. But at least we all need her alive rather than dead! Vast improvement over last season.
I had a moment of eyebrow raising when Alterlaric said "You two better get doing what you do best - saving Elena's life." Because aren't all their plans spectacularly unsuccessful? But then I thought, well, she's technically still alive, so, carry on, Salvatores. I suppose whatever you're doing is working well enough.
Why doesn't Klaus just take Elena on the road with him? That way, even if Alterlaric follows them, he could probably get more blood from her up until the last moment.
"By attempting to kill us, my mother strengthened the bond between my siblings and I." Siblings and ME, Klaus. God. I could get over your persistent attempts to murder your children, Esther, but couldn't you at least have taught them proper grammar?
There's a parallel between what Klaus is saying here and the strengthening bond of the Salvatores after all of this murder and mayhem, yes? Klaus is the Esther of the Salvatores - his terrorization has actually brought the two closer together, just as Stefan said. But Klaus and his siblings aren't actually closer after Esther's attempts to kill them (except for maybe Kol, but he's off somewhere with his baseball bat and is thus irrelevant). Poor Klaus. What he wanted from this terrible family situation he actually unwittingly granted to the Salvatores.
Elena continues to be a fierce warrior princess, sassing Klaus even as she's being drained of blood. My girl was the greatest in this episode.
Klaus continues to promote the OT3, which just makes me *facepalm* a bit. Seriously, there was no talk of a choice until Klaus suddenly became the voice of the impending season finale. Alas. It's all made worth it for this line:
"But just between us girls, who would you have picked?"
OH, KLAUS. I love him dearly. Too adorable.
I will say, despite my frustration with this heavy-handed choice business, I do love that it was acknowledged that part of Elena's reluctance to choose is because she doesn't want to destroy the relationship between the Salvatores. Elena is not stringing them along for her own benefit. Yes, she doesn't know what she wants, but that's not it. She's not so selfish. She doesn't want to choose, because she wants for them to be ok, to be brothers again. She hates that she has the potential power to ruin what they've finally, painstakingly built again. She won't be Katherine - not because Katherine couldn't decide, but because Katherine broke them. And all Elena wants to do is put the Salvatores back together.
So, basically, Elena ships Stefan/Damon. Good girl.
Tyler comes to rescue Elena, and I am utterly unsurprised when he gets caught. Don't these people all have super hearing?
Meanwhile, Tyler takes a stand against Klaus, and I'm ready to be into it, but then he goes and says he did it "by breaking every bone in my body a hundred times for the girl I love." Ugh, Tyler. Why. Can we NOT make this about Caroline? Can't we just have Tyler reclaiming ownership of himself, oh, I don't know, FOR himself? Do not want this to be about the love of a good woman saving him. Fuck that. And then he goes on about the strength of real love, and I *facepalm.* Tyler/Caroline, stop making yourselves into this.
Klaus spends a lot of time telling people they should be thanking him, doesn't he? Whatever. I thank you for your existence, Klaus.
Then Tyler accuses him of just not wanting to be alone, and yeah, that's true, but everyone is being SO MEAN to Klaus! And yes, he probably deserves it. But Klaus's shattered face is right up there below Damon's shattered face, so it does things to my heart.
Klaus knocks Elena to the floor and she goes down hard, and this was just one of the many instances during which I wondered, will THIS be what causes Elena to flashback? I'm sort of wishing I didn't know that was going to happen, because I spent entirely too much time waiting for Elena to incur some sort of head trauma or massive blood loss and start hallucinating.
Then the boys show up and tag-team to restrain Klaus, and it goes a lot better this time around. Stefan grasps for Klaus's heart, because OF COURSE it had to be Stefan, and not gonna lie, I loved how the show amplified Klaus's racing and then slowing heartbeat. It made the moment - and the connection between Klaus and Stefan - very intense.
Ok, but seriously, how right am I? We are SO getting Dark!Bonnie. Yes? Yes.
But, guys. There was actual Klefan. FOR SERIOUS, HONEST TO GOD, ACTUAL KLEFAN. I'm not making this up! SO MUCH KLEFAN. And it was fucking amazing. I loved what they did with this scene. Because the second the boys don't need him anymore, Damon splits off and checks on Elena, because she is his first priority (my OTP heart fluttered). Tyler is in the background in grim triumph. Klaus looks around, registering everything, taking it all in. And Stefan? Can't take his eyes away from Klaus. He is LOCKED onto Klaus, in this horrible, dawning moment, when he realizes that he doesn't hate Klaus. He does hate Klaus, but he doesn't just hate Klaus. All these things Klaus has been saying about their connection, their bond, their friendship? They're all true. It doesn't change anything. Stefan wants to kill Klaus...but suddenly he's not sure he wants him dead. It's this awful, fantastic moment, when Stefan just feels, feels all these things about and for this man he hates, and it just freezes him. And then Klaus looks back at Stefan, wide-eyed, accusing, vulnerable, and it hurts.
OOH, and I just noticed something. Tyler lays Klaus down, and Stefan's standing stock-still, and he does that finger twitch thing he's done a few times, usually when he's in some very acute emotional distress. Much like Damon, when Stefan is at his most agonized and conflicted, he actually becomes very quiet and reserved. But I've noticed that he does this nervous twitch with his fingers that's the only indication of how hard he's taking it. Maybe I'm reading way too much into this and it doesn't mean anything. Or maybe it means everything.
Meanwhile, Bonnie totally got a taste of the dark magic temptation, and she was into it (I'm telling you...YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST). But she's still Bonnie, and she freaks out when Jeremy won't wake up. So here's the part when I confess that sometimes I am romantic: I have a thing for forehead touching (when done well). So I actually found this Bonnie/Jeremy moment adorable. I have to admit, I shipped Bonnie/Jeremy back in the day (remember, it takes almost nothing to get me to ship anything on this show). And while I completely understand the breakdown of their relationship, they still always felt a bit unfinished to me. So I really loved that they had this moment when even though all their problems are still undoubtedly there, for one second that's insignificant, because of course they still love each other, and that's what matters.
My Salvatore boys drop Elena off, and I love how they're completely in tandem in their overprotectiveness. Brothership forever, basically.
Ok, so, this scene. Here's the thing. On it's own, it's fine. Yes, we know that Elena doesn't want to lose either of them, and she's proving herself to be the superior heroine in a love triangle by being frank about her dilemma. But. I just can't get over the abruptness of this choice nonsense. WHY is it suddenly necessary that she make a choice? It just feels so sudden and season finale contrived, and it bothers me. First of all, there is no reason why she needs to make her decision at this precise moment. Next up, my raging OTP-shipping aside, when did Damon become an actual viable option? Up until this episode, it sure seemed to me like Damon/Elena was a thing that everyone ignored. Elena never once wavered from her faith in Stefan, and she only agreed to explore her feelings for Damon because he told her to. As I understand it, Elena is heavily in denial about her feelings for Damon, and even the 3x19 incident wasn't enough to make her get over her massive mental block toward him. So how is this suddenly an even chance? Again, it's outside the show force. You all know how I feel about D/E. In my mind, Elena's feelings for Damon outweigh her current feelings for Stefan. But in canon, Elena has been all about Stefan. Damon is an aside, a mistake, a Disastrous Accident (TM Alex) - he is not boyfriend material. So the idea that somehow we're at this point where she openly admits she has to choose one of them doesn't make any sense to me.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being oversensitive. But I just feel like any impetus for Elena making a choice has nothing to do with what's actually been happening on the show, and I get very annoyed when I feel like outside forces are affecting the world within the show. But I'll survive, since I really do want Elena to make a choice. I just wish it weren't so explicitly framed as a choice. I want Elena to be with one of the Salvatores if and only if she actively wants to be, not because she owes it to them to make a decision. If that's her sole reason for choosing, then I'd rather she stayed single.
So I don't really know how to analyze this scene, in light of my particular reaction to this type of scenario. Nothing Elena says is new, but at least she's being open. Meanwhile, a moment I DID love was when Elena finishes her speech and is waiting for one of them to respond. Stefan looks over at Damon, and Damon nods, directing him, telling him what to do, and Stefan takes the cue and speaks for them. It was a rather lovely moment of Salvatore togetherness in the midst of this situation that could ostensibly tear them apart. They were such a team. And I will never not love Stefan looking to his big brother for guidance, and Damon giving it because he knows Stefan needs his help. My boys are flawless, basically.
Then Elena walks in on our wonderful kids celebrating, and it's awesome. Not gonna lie, I spent the entirety of this scene waiting for something to go wrong, so I was rather distracted. But now that I know that it really is just a well-deserved happy scene, I love it to pieces. These people are friends, were friends long before all this crazy supernatural stuff started happening to them. And they've lost most of their parents, and they're raising each other and saving each other and just being there for each other as much as they can. This show is about family, and look, here's one now.
Things of note: Matt seems very disappointed to have been left out of the plotting. The kid just wants to be included. Aww, Matt.
I do need to whinge for a second: Caroline. Stop it. WHY does Elena need to choose eventually? She doesn't have to be with EITHER of them if she doesn't want to be. She owes the Salvatores nothing. So I wish Caroline would stop being the voice of the romantic storylines and just leave Elena well enough alone. Elena doesn't have to choose anything. All she needs to do is figure out what she herself wants. That's that.
Elena "not condoning" Jeremy drinking is THE BEST. I adore the Gilberts beyond reason.
Also, Caroline and Tyler were adorable again, just being a normal couple. I ship normal now! What a revelation.
Meanwhile, Alterlaric has called a council meeting to wreak havoc. Mischievous little thing. So, is the finale going to be all the middle-aged fairly useless vampire hunter council members vs. Team Mystic Falls? Who even knows.
But GUYS. I cannot even express how happy this Brothership scene makes me. Just watching the first part again has me grinning like an absolute fool. THEY ARE TOO PERFECT TO BE REAL. God, just, the playfulness, the banter, how fucking obvious it is that they love each other? I DIE. I seriously can't pick which line to quote. First of all, Damon is flawless, let's get that out of the way. "How many desiccated hybrids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Just. How do you exist. And he does his little smirk after his clever line, and the best part? STEFAN SMILES BACK. This is everything I have waited for for three seasons. All I've ever wanted is for these brothers to be this - happy, together.
"Once more with feeling!" Actually has me flailing around like an idiot. And Stefan does it, because he can, because he wants to, because they're the famous Salvatore Brothers, together again. THIS IS TOO MUCH JOY FOR MY FRAGILE HEART TO CONTAIN.
THEN STEFAN THANKS DAMON. I can't even, guys. I am lost. And the way Damon sort of brushes it off with a joke and his little 'meh' noise, because he can make fun of their mutual ridiculousness. And through it all, there's this air of casual understanding. It's a light-hearted scene, but it says everything. Stefan feels more gratitude toward Damon than he can ever express. Damon is beyond thrilled and relieved that his brother is well and truly back. They will trivialize everything they're feeling, because they can have epic fights, but when it comes to happiness they are quiet. But they feel so much for each other, and finally, finally, they get it. They don't need any grand sweeping declarations of love, because they already know. At last.
Meanwhile, I continue to adore Damon Salvatore beyond all reason. "You know how these things pan out, Stefan. Probably make a list of pros and cons and at the end of the day dump both our asses." Damon Salvatore does not buy into contrived doomed love triangles, thank you very much. He has no interest in indulging in the drama of this legitimately complex romantic entanglement. He also doesn't care to fret about what happens when Elena makes The Choice. That's not how this boy works. That is forced, that is manufactured, that isn't real. Damon doesn't care what Julie Plec's been telling people. It'll happen when it happens, if it happens. That's the beginning and the end of it. #Damon Salvatore is unimpressed by your romantic stereotypes
I LOVE Ian's delivery of "Then she'll pick one of us." Damon doesn't want to think about this - he doesn't see the point. That isn't in the here and now (Damon seems to be unaware that it's season finale time - BLESS HIM). He's so begrudging when he acknowledges the possibility that Elena will pick one of them. Damon has never been about the love triangle, and he finds the whole business tiresome. I love him so much for it.
Of course, Stefan, much as I love him, DOES buy into romantic tropes, and he insists on incorporating this love triangle into his own narrative. So he gets the ball rolling with his magnanimous (you're welcome, Alex) promise to leave town should the odds go against him. Because he's a dramatic romantic hero like that. Whatever, Stefan. Do what you do.
Then Damon continues to be utterly flawless: "Then in 60 years, we'll go back to being brothers and none of this will have mattered, right?" My boy, you are perfect. First of all, allow me to be obnoxious and clamour about how I'm right. Damon does not believe that Elena choosing between them will destroy them. The Salvatores are an entity entirely separate from Elena Gilbert, and Damon believes that to his core. Next up, I adore how Damon is always, always thinking about his brother, even when the stakes are this high. Damon has no desire for Stefan to leave, regardless of who Elena picks. Damon doesn't want this. He doesn't want things to get tricky and uncomfortable and fraught between the three of them. He just wants everyone to be happy - it doesn't matter who they find happiness with. So Damon insists that Stefan understand that he isn't losing Damon. No matter who Elena chooses, Damon and Stefan are brothers, for all eternity. In the grand scheme of things, 60 years is nothing. And after it all, it will be Damon and Stefan again, like it's always been, like it always will be. Stefan needs to understand that, because Damon knows, and Damon will not lose his brother again.
But if Stefan needs to write his own saga to help him cope, Damon will allow it, for now. So he acquiesces, and it's adorable. His "Fine. If she chooses you, I'll - leave town too." Is so fucking curmudgeonly, and it's ADORABLE. I love this boy to distraction. This isn't how he wants the situation to go. He thinks it's rather unnecessary. But he will do what Stefan needs him to do, because they're brothers, and he will do whatever he has to do to ensure that Stefan is ok. In Damon's mind, if Elena choosing Stefan, she will be letting go of any need she has for him. So then the only person left to help is Stefan, and Damon will do whatever Stefan requires. This boy is loyal to a fault, and he will let this happen, despite his own wishes, because he just needs for Stefan and Elena to be happy.
The Gilberts close out the episode, and that is right. It was always going to be Elena and Jeremy, in the end. So many people have tried to help them, to take care of them, but they all fell, one by one. Elena and Jeremy survive, and they survive for each other. Gilberts forever.
Elena Gilbert is flawless, yes? Yes. Because her speech about how she will be the bad guy if it means protecting these people that she loves? Perfection. This is what I was talking about. Elena is darker - she makes choices that some would consider to be wrong. She admits that her parents may well have been disappointed in her. But this Elena - this stronger, harder, fiercer Elena? Doesn't care. She knows who she is now. She will protect the people she loves, no matter what the cost. And maybe that's wrong. But she finally understands that it doesn't matter if it's wrong. It's not wrong to her.
"So if it makes me the bad guy for wanting to keep those people alive, then, fine. I'll be the bad guy."
MY PERFECT LADY. Amazing. (Also, hello Damon. These two are the same. All arguments are invalid.)
Of course, Jeremy can't let Elena take all the Gilbert glory, so he fires back with another moment of pure excellence: "That would mean I would lose you. I'm not gonna let that happen." I loved everything about this. Because we all talk so much about what Elena would do to save Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Bonnie, but through all that, I have never doubted for one single second that Jeremy is Elena's #1 priority. And that's as it should be. As much as people within and without the show ruminate on Elena's feelings, Elena will always, always choose Jeremy. I believe this to my very core. Elena would let both Damon and Stefan die to save Jeremy. These two kids are it for each other. They are their last remaining family, and that means everything to them. It's Elena and Jeremy, to the end. So this moment just confirmed that it's Team Gilbert, all the way.
And their FACES, JUST. Gorgeous. These two know that it's the two of them, forever. It's just like all the other families on this show. The Originals, always and forever. The Salvatores, in 1864, now, in 60 years, for all eternity. And Elena and Jeremy, the last of the Gilberts. And that's the way it should be.
Then Elena goes down, and I gear up for Flashback Time! I'd been waiting for her to collapse in some sort of hallucinatory fit for ages, so I wasn't exactly shocked. But I will say, the image of her blood mingling with the spilled white paint? Fucking awesome.
So that's that. I seriously enjoyed this episode while I was watching it, but then my regard for it cooled a bit after the fact. It was still a really good episode. But it doesn't exactly have scenes I will watch over and over again (except maybe the Brothership scene...). Still, it was a good time - nay, a GREAT time. One of the more consistently entertaining episodes in a long time.
So let's do this, TVD. Season Finale time. You have a reputation to uphold, and I've heard a lot about this coming episode. Don't let me down. Finish strong. You've made some big promises. Deliver, and deliver well.
Are we ready for this, team?