"Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths"
A good few days, all very productive. I really do like living here in St. Louis. It's gotten so comfortable so quickly, which is usually the sign of being in the right place at the right time. Casey and I often have to step back and realize how well things are falling into place. Anyhow, before work gets hectic I wanted to make sure I get the last few days into this LJ.
Sunday was lovely. I went to 10:30 eucharist at Trinity; so much better than the 8 AM I did the weekend before. I don't know how people can do church without music. Is there anything that connects you more to your soul/spirit? It sounds cheesy, I know, but singing always connects me to something bigger than myself, so singing in church seems so necessary to me. I am a big fan of the Trinity rector for two main reasons. One, she gives phenomenal sermons. This week's was about the importance of solitude in connecting with God, how we all need to be truly alone from time to time in order to make the big revelations that we can't make with lots of other people around. It was something that resonated with me right now, and it made time alone out here seem a lot less scary and much more heartening. The other thing I love about her is that at the exchange of the peace, she comes down and really tries to greet everyone in the church. I appreciate that so much; that's what a religious leader is supposed to do. The service is so very much like St. Paul and the Redeemer back in Chicago, which is wonderful because I LOVED going to SPR! We sing lots of hymns at Trinity, and I'm glad to see that the Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing hymnal is alive and well. I love those hymns so very much. After the service, I got to meet some more very nice people from the congregation, including Jeff, a big guy who is a bass in the church choir and who invited me to join once rehearsals start after Labor Day! It's just 6-7:30 Wednesday nights, and then before service on Sunday mornings, so I think I will just make the time to do it. I miss choir and singing on a regular basis outside my car. And living with Casey, who sings all the bloody time, makes me realize over and over how much I miss it.
Sunday also included a lot of lounging around, followed by rehearsal for Johnny A. Cannon II: Johnny Descending. I think this show is going to be so good for me. It pushes me to the brink of feeling stupid and makes me just get over it and do my job. As Amy said last night, "Can you be an actor and feel stupid?" Nope, so I'd better just get over it! The show is still very, very fragmented, and I still don't think we have all of our cast, but I'm somehow not panicked about it. It's such a silly show, and so the vibe is always very relaxed and upbeat. It feels good to be doing work again.
After rehearsal, Casey and Amy decided that they felt bad about not really doing anything that day, so we all took a walk, just down West Pine, which we'd never really walked before. The houses out there were gorgeous. I'd love to be an urban homeowner someday. When we got back, I decided to go out to Novak's, the big lesbian bar in town. I'd enjoyed it so much before (UFC and a drag show!) that I figured it would be a good idea again. Little did I realize that I'd walked into Singles Night. After being hit on by three (that's right, count 'em, THREE) lesbians over 35, I realized I just needed to go. But I knew I wasn't ready to go home, so I decided to find Mandarin, the cocktail bar that Shannon had told me about in the Maryland Plaza. It's really a gorgeous spot to get a drink. It's up on the third floor of the plaza, and between the really plush interior and the open air patio overlooking the Maryland Plaza Fountain and the brownstones across the street, I was really impressed. But I got really lonely all of a sudden, and I just needed to go home. I walked back to the apartment, followed by a trail of cat calls, and just hid in my room for a bit. I was so mad at myself because I'd felt so up and happy for quite a few days, and then I just had this crash. Part of it, nay, most of it is from missing Arielle and missing that kind of interaction with another human being. The rest is something else that I don't quite understand, so it's hard to fight it. I was SO HAPPY when Casey came knocking on my door to see how my night was. I always feel good about me when I can help him at all, and we ended up just talking about how he's going to feel productive about his time here by setting daily goals and meeting them. He gave me a big hug, and I could tell that suddenly both of us were feeling better about things, just from that tiny little talk. Then Amy came in, and she and I had a little chat about Casey and productivity and all of a sudden, I could feel that all the negative stuff that had been swimming in my head had just lifted. Just from being around those two. It suprised me, and I was able to go to sleep that night feeling good about things.
Monday was SO productive. Got up, made pancakes for everyone, watched Princess Bride 2 (surprisingly funny, and I like Anne Hathaway more and more all the time), and then Amy and I did yoga together! I had a ball. Yoga is something that I've always felt so private about, like my head will pop off if anyone else is in the room or if I talk to someone during my practice. Not to mention that I assume that I am terrible at it and that anyone else who does yoga would think I was a nut if they saw me do it. But yoga with Amy was a ball! We used her Rodney Yee DVD, which I was horribly afraid of, but most of it was actually doable! The backbends just didn't happen, and some of the warrior/side-stretch/triangle stuff was tricky because of all the side-switching he does, but all the things I was most worried about didn't happen. I thought I'd be such dry of all endurance, but I managed just fine. Amy and I could laugh about how old Rodney could eat grass in the seated straddle forward fold, or beg him to let us come out of down dog into forward fold, so the whole thing was just plain fun. I really want to teach her my flow so we can do that together, too, and I'm dying to try the YogaBURN DVD she has, "which will kill us," as Amy says. Sounds like fun to me!
Monday also included the end of the heashot fiasco! After not one, not two, but three trips to Walgreens, Casey and I finally have our color headshots! We took those, stapled some more resumes to them, and started stuffing those St.Louis theatre company envelopes I made him for his birthday. He also found out he has a job interview, a job test, and a private lesson at an MMA school all in the next two days! So a very good day for Casey yesterday. I also got to go to more rehearsal (yay!) which included a lot of fun improv and the choreographing of a cowboy/samurai/dance fight, in which I am spanked with a sword and attacked by a hypnotized clawing man. All of this is done to Cake's "I Want a Girl with a Short Skirt and a Long Jacket," of course. Love it. I'm sure I look ridiculous, but I don't care anymore. It's too much fun when I'm not being self-conscious, so screw it!
I came home from rehearsal and worked Shakespeare monologues with Casey, which ended up being so very good for me. I already see how much he's grown as an actor since getting here, and it blows me away sometimes. His Shakespeare piece looks SO GOOD. It's really impressive, and I can't see any reason why he shouldn't be cast in Romeo & Juliet. He's getting so much out of the show he's in currently, and I'm getting to reap a lot of that knowledge as he helps me with my piece. It grew leaps and bounds last night. Amy came over to watch for a while, too, and it was so nice to have a fresh pair of eyes and ears on the piece. I was so grateful to both of them for pushing that monologue over the wall it was at til last night. Another night of work on it, and a little bit of refreshing for Casey, and I think we'll both be ready to take on those auditions Wednesday night!
Wow, that was a lot. I need to get back to work!
Sunday was lovely. I went to 10:30 eucharist at Trinity; so much better than the 8 AM I did the weekend before. I don't know how people can do church without music. Is there anything that connects you more to your soul/spirit? It sounds cheesy, I know, but singing always connects me to something bigger than myself, so singing in church seems so necessary to me. I am a big fan of the Trinity rector for two main reasons. One, she gives phenomenal sermons. This week's was about the importance of solitude in connecting with God, how we all need to be truly alone from time to time in order to make the big revelations that we can't make with lots of other people around. It was something that resonated with me right now, and it made time alone out here seem a lot less scary and much more heartening. The other thing I love about her is that at the exchange of the peace, she comes down and really tries to greet everyone in the church. I appreciate that so much; that's what a religious leader is supposed to do. The service is so very much like St. Paul and the Redeemer back in Chicago, which is wonderful because I LOVED going to SPR! We sing lots of hymns at Trinity, and I'm glad to see that the Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing hymnal is alive and well. I love those hymns so very much. After the service, I got to meet some more very nice people from the congregation, including Jeff, a big guy who is a bass in the church choir and who invited me to join once rehearsals start after Labor Day! It's just 6-7:30 Wednesday nights, and then before service on Sunday mornings, so I think I will just make the time to do it. I miss choir and singing on a regular basis outside my car. And living with Casey, who sings all the bloody time, makes me realize over and over how much I miss it.
Sunday also included a lot of lounging around, followed by rehearsal for Johnny A. Cannon II: Johnny Descending. I think this show is going to be so good for me. It pushes me to the brink of feeling stupid and makes me just get over it and do my job. As Amy said last night, "Can you be an actor and feel stupid?" Nope, so I'd better just get over it! The show is still very, very fragmented, and I still don't think we have all of our cast, but I'm somehow not panicked about it. It's such a silly show, and so the vibe is always very relaxed and upbeat. It feels good to be doing work again.
After rehearsal, Casey and Amy decided that they felt bad about not really doing anything that day, so we all took a walk, just down West Pine, which we'd never really walked before. The houses out there were gorgeous. I'd love to be an urban homeowner someday. When we got back, I decided to go out to Novak's, the big lesbian bar in town. I'd enjoyed it so much before (UFC and a drag show!) that I figured it would be a good idea again. Little did I realize that I'd walked into Singles Night. After being hit on by three (that's right, count 'em, THREE) lesbians over 35, I realized I just needed to go. But I knew I wasn't ready to go home, so I decided to find Mandarin, the cocktail bar that Shannon had told me about in the Maryland Plaza. It's really a gorgeous spot to get a drink. It's up on the third floor of the plaza, and between the really plush interior and the open air patio overlooking the Maryland Plaza Fountain and the brownstones across the street, I was really impressed. But I got really lonely all of a sudden, and I just needed to go home. I walked back to the apartment, followed by a trail of cat calls, and just hid in my room for a bit. I was so mad at myself because I'd felt so up and happy for quite a few days, and then I just had this crash. Part of it, nay, most of it is from missing Arielle and missing that kind of interaction with another human being. The rest is something else that I don't quite understand, so it's hard to fight it. I was SO HAPPY when Casey came knocking on my door to see how my night was. I always feel good about me when I can help him at all, and we ended up just talking about how he's going to feel productive about his time here by setting daily goals and meeting them. He gave me a big hug, and I could tell that suddenly both of us were feeling better about things, just from that tiny little talk. Then Amy came in, and she and I had a little chat about Casey and productivity and all of a sudden, I could feel that all the negative stuff that had been swimming in my head had just lifted. Just from being around those two. It suprised me, and I was able to go to sleep that night feeling good about things.
Monday was SO productive. Got up, made pancakes for everyone, watched Princess Bride 2 (surprisingly funny, and I like Anne Hathaway more and more all the time), and then Amy and I did yoga together! I had a ball. Yoga is something that I've always felt so private about, like my head will pop off if anyone else is in the room or if I talk to someone during my practice. Not to mention that I assume that I am terrible at it and that anyone else who does yoga would think I was a nut if they saw me do it. But yoga with Amy was a ball! We used her Rodney Yee DVD, which I was horribly afraid of, but most of it was actually doable! The backbends just didn't happen, and some of the warrior/side-stretch/triangle stuff was tricky because of all the side-switching he does, but all the things I was most worried about didn't happen. I thought I'd be such dry of all endurance, but I managed just fine. Amy and I could laugh about how old Rodney could eat grass in the seated straddle forward fold, or beg him to let us come out of down dog into forward fold, so the whole thing was just plain fun. I really want to teach her my flow so we can do that together, too, and I'm dying to try the YogaBURN DVD she has, "which will kill us," as Amy says. Sounds like fun to me!
Monday also included the end of the heashot fiasco! After not one, not two, but three trips to Walgreens, Casey and I finally have our color headshots! We took those, stapled some more resumes to them, and started stuffing those St.Louis theatre company envelopes I made him for his birthday. He also found out he has a job interview, a job test, and a private lesson at an MMA school all in the next two days! So a very good day for Casey yesterday. I also got to go to more rehearsal (yay!) which included a lot of fun improv and the choreographing of a cowboy/samurai/dance fight, in which I am spanked with a sword and attacked by a hypnotized clawing man. All of this is done to Cake's "I Want a Girl with a Short Skirt and a Long Jacket," of course. Love it. I'm sure I look ridiculous, but I don't care anymore. It's too much fun when I'm not being self-conscious, so screw it!
I came home from rehearsal and worked Shakespeare monologues with Casey, which ended up being so very good for me. I already see how much he's grown as an actor since getting here, and it blows me away sometimes. His Shakespeare piece looks SO GOOD. It's really impressive, and I can't see any reason why he shouldn't be cast in Romeo & Juliet. He's getting so much out of the show he's in currently, and I'm getting to reap a lot of that knowledge as he helps me with my piece. It grew leaps and bounds last night. Amy came over to watch for a while, too, and it was so nice to have a fresh pair of eyes and ears on the piece. I was so grateful to both of them for pushing that monologue over the wall it was at til last night. Another night of work on it, and a little bit of refreshing for Casey, and I think we'll both be ready to take on those auditions Wednesday night!
Wow, that was a lot. I need to get back to work!