shitty shitty shitty.
Yesterday/today have been super fucking crappy. Im under ALOT of stress and defintely starting to wonder who my REAL friends are. There are only a few people I can really count on to talk to me and listen to what Im going through and for me to trust that they wont go blab it to the world. Today or tomorrow, I must go look for a job. Alans moving out soon and I may stay or find another place. Racheal will probably room with me to help out with $ and to have our own place. I need to replace my car, i hate it so much and its a pos. Alan turned off my cell AGAIN. Im so sick of the childish crap. It would be one thing if he turned it off to mess with me, but when Im gone somewhere and I have the kids with me, thats not cool at all cause I cant call anyone to help me. I figured after being split for so long that the games would be over with by now. We still argue, still deal with BS, he still goes through my shit and spies on me, still doesnt help with the kids. Alot of BS is on my shoulders and it fucking sucks. I miss being happy. For the last couple of months, I have been super happy but it seems as though things are going back to the way they were. Also, yesterday Alan says he called my mom and told her he was going to move out and that I may need help for now..he said she said that she isnt giving me shit. Wow.. what a surprise. You would think after making my brothers and I raise our fucking selves youd actually try to be a mom now when you dont have to put a fucking roof over our heads. Id never do that to my kids. My mom is in school, so she doesnt have much $, but my step dad.. LOL. Hes got so much $ he doesnt know what to do with. I guess Im the only fucking mom in the world who would give my last penny to help my child.
/rant.
/rant.