031: in my heart, it's the five of us [2/??]
[2: this might take a while, so please just hear me out.]
After Changmin had left, Junsu was the next one to leave.
“I’m just talking a walk,” he assured the other three, offering a weary smile as he shakily stood. “I promise. I’ll be back in ten...ten minutes.” Junsu didn’t take the hand offered to him by Yoochun to help him stand, brushing past the concerned Jaejoong with a vague nod. “Just gonna take a walk downstairs, that’s all.” Again. “I promise I’ll be back.”
The minute the front door shut, Yoochun was on his feet, as well.
“Aish, these kids…going off wandering around by themselves. I’d better go find them and set ‘em straight.” Yunho looked like he wanted to protest, but Yoochun shook his head. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of them. I promise.” With a subtle glance at Jaejoong-who was wiping away tears with the back of his sleeve and looking mournfully at the seat on the couch beside him where Changmin had been-Yoochun gave Yunho’s shoulder a hard pat, and whispered in the leader’s ear: “Besides, you’re better at dealing with him when he gets like that.” A momentary quirk of the lips, quickly lost in the shadow of an almost regret unspoken. “He doesn’t need support from me right now, anyway.”
He needs you, the look Yoochun sent him said. Yunho nodded in silent agreement.
“I know.” He understood too, but he knew that wasn’t what Yoochun was referring to. “Thanks, Yoochun-ah.”
Once the door closed for the third time in a row, Jaejoong began to wipe at the gathering moisture behind closed lids.
“I figured it would turn out like this.” He gingerly folded his hands in his lap. “No,” an unconscious discordant rhythm starting to emerge from the distracted tapping of bare feet on the carpet, “I knew it would be like this. Changmin-ah-”
“He’s scared.” Yunho sat beside him, lacing their fingers together; a warm, familiar, lazy gesture, but it did little to ease the apprehension set into Jaejoong’s visage. “Scared of losing what we’ve built up to all these years.” He took a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t blame him.”
Jaejoong’s pulse skipped a beat against Yunho’s thumb. It was all Yunho could do not to take his words back in the tense silence that followed for nearly a minute.
“You think we shouldn’t do this, either.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it.” Yunho watched as Jaejoong slowly turned, those doe brown eyes fixated on him. “But I think there are other ways to deal with this.”
He stayed quiet just long enough to watch the subdued swirl of emotions flit through Jaejoong’s stubborn gaze-distress, irritation, grief, anxiety, and-until it was gone, that momentary flash of melancholy and understanding and hope. Of course. This was Jaejoong, after all, capable of so many things.
But soon replacing it was a look of acceptance and exhaustion as Jaejoong laid his head on Yunho’s shoulder, punctuating the uncomfortable silence with a sigh.
“Sooman wouldn’t even see us, let alone talk to us.” Jaejoong looked out into the distance. “And Yoochun-ah and I talked with Junsu-yah about this for a long time before we left for Saipan. And then he finally came around to the idea, so we thought we’d talk about it with you and Changmin-ah while we still had some free time...” Chestnut strands like silk gathered underneath Yunho’s fingers; it was a small gesture, but it brought the barest promise of a smile returning to Jaejoong’s lips. “God, I don’t even remember how it got brought up…”
After Jaejoong trailed off, Yunho decided it was time to speak up about something that had been bothering him all along.
“But, Joongie-” It took some effort to swallow, seeing how expectant the older one was to hear his thoughts. “Why didn’t you bring this up earlier…with all five of us?”
“I knew you’d say that,” muttered Jaejoong, pursing his lips and crossing his arms. “Look, this isn’t exactly something I’d bring up at the dinner table, Yunnie-ah.” Pouting a bit and sending him a cross look. “And anyway, there’s never really a ‘good time’ to bring this sort of thing up.”
He looked so childlike then, huddled close and burrowed in the folds of Yunho’s sweater and peering up at him with those big brown eyes. It made him think of how little had actually changed since they first met years ago, how little Jaejoong (and their relationship) had changed.
It almost made Yunho could almost forget about what they were talking about. Almost.
“I know that.” Yunho wrapped an arm warm around Jaejoong’s waist. “How long since you…you know…”
Jaejoong sat upright, head tilted to one side in obvious confusion. “No, I don’t know…since what?”
“When did you know,” Yunho asked, pulling his hands away to fold them in his lap, “that you were sure about doing this?”
Jaejoong blinked furiously for a good three seconds-and then he smiled, as if everything in the world made sense to him in that moment.
“Let me ask you something, then.” Folding his hands in his lap similarly to Yunho. “Could you say right here and now that you’ll support what the three of us want to do?”
“A question for a question? Isn’t that a little unfair?” Yunho laughed, ruffling Jaejoong’s hair briefly before offering a wan grin. “And I think you already know what my answer is.”
“Mmm, maybe…” Jaejoong seemed to brighten just from hearing those words, tone light and teasing as he tumbled into Yunho’s arms with a contented noise. “I’ve known you long enough to guess…so is that a yes to my question?”
Then, a sudden silence. Jaejoong pulled away, trying his hardest to see past Yunho’s unreadable expression to no avail. He frowned, reaching up to pinch the younger man’s cheek.
“Yunho-”
“Do you really think doing this with just the three of you will work, Joongie?” It wasn’t a rhetorical or cynical question, Jaejoong knew; the resigned exhale that slipped past Yunho’s lips told him that much. “Just…tell me what you’re thinking right now, honestly.” The leader took Jaejoong’s hand, twining their fingers and holding on tight. “Are you really sure about this?”
Are you really sure the three of you can do this on your own?
“I’m sure. As long as you believe in me-believe in us,” Jaejoong murmured at length, stroking the side of Yunho’s face with his free hand, full lips stretched into a warm smile, “I can take on the world.”
Yunho didn’t answer, but he smiled back-a real, genuine smile; the kind that made Jaejoong’s heart stop and speed up all at once-letting go of Jaejoong’s hand in favor of wordlessly slipping his arms around the older one’s waist and picking him up off the couch, carrying him bridal style to the other side of their hotel room.
Naturally, Jaejoong protested and flailed his arms and legs around and tried to wriggle free with all his strength, but he really didn’t mind when Yunho laid him down on one of the beds (gently, of course) and looked down at Jaejoong with his arms folded across his chest and the worst ‘I’m-Trying-To-Be-Angry-At-You’ face the older man had ever seen on the leader.
Naturally, Jaejoong protested when Yunho plopped down onto the bed next to him (‘When Yoochun-ah comes back with Su-yah and Minnie-ah, you know they’re gonna give us hell, right?’ ‘I don’t think they’ll be back for a while, Joongie-you worry too much.’), but he didn’t really mind when Yunho shushed him and held him close and trailing soft kisses down the slope of Jaejoong’s neck and shoulder until the older man was keening and arching into the too-gentle touches slipping underneath his shirt and wandering decidedly lower.
And naturally, they hadn’t forgotten the matter entirely (they would discuss it later, of course, with Changmin and Yoochun and Junsu present), but there were some things that took a backseat to unfair contracts and angry maknaes-
-And one of those things, of course, was love.
[ Chapter 3 ]