Four Months
Okay, so its been over four months since I've written anything in here at all. I don't ever get online anymore, unless its to download music illegaly, of course. So much has changed since the last time I wrote, but I can't belive it's been so long since the "incident" at Mrs. Brown's. This semester has gone by so fast! Each day I'm either at work, school, dancing or a combination of. But that's what I wanted, isn't it? For life to go by fast? If these 'painful' teenage years drag on for so long is that really a bad thing, or us just thinking its a bad thing. Some people don't even see it that way. High school really IS that bad tho, I want my college years to go by slow, but I know they won't. And no matter what anyone says, its stupid to get engaged any younger than 20, we change so much, from the food we eat to the goals in life in these years that these immature people think the only way they can commit themselves to someone else is to have a ring. That seems like the IMMATURE thing to do, not the mature one. Anyway.It's relaly strange how easy it is for people to drift out of your life by just not calling them one weekend, or the next, or too busy for them the next, before you know it a relationship has diminished or at least been altered because there isnt' time for everybody. There just isn't. There are some people I want to keep in my life and talk to and hang out with, but I can't disicipline myself enough to give them a call or initiate something. Why do that when I could just be lazy and chill with the people I always chill with. NOT that that's a bad thing, I'm jsut afraid it will hurt me in the future a little bit. Everybody is too busy nowadays, me included, so I can't really bitch about it. But, are we spending too much time doing things we HAVE to do than doing things we WANT to do?
Valentine's Day is a good idea, but not to the extent it's at today. It's just a way for chocolate, card, jewelry, and flower companies to have an extra boost in the winter.Should we feel inferior to those who have a significant other? Is that always the best thing to have one person you give yourself to and rely on? Or is that a lil needy in a society that emphasizes self reliance and eestem. Society always contradicts itself and has too much influence on the individual. Damn society. Why shoudl I be embarrased because I haven't found a boyfriend? Does that make me any less of a woman phsyically or mentally. And why is it so bad to have different kind of relationships, does it always have to be the traditional boyfriend/girlfirend. Why is it bad if the situation is different. Why are we always seeking a boyfriend/girlfriend? We must be that uncomfortable with own image to always get dressed for and look nice for the opposite sex, rather than for ourself.Is it bad that I like more than one guy if I have not committed myself to either one? Isn't that just nature that I'm acting on. It seems more sensible to explore everyone before settling down with one person for a while, doesn't it? Why limit yourself like that to a "boyfriend" rather than just dating when you want, and living life to your own rules. Hmph.
I just figure if I'm gonna write once every quarter year in here, it doesn't need to be what movie I went to see with who or what color shirt I wore today. Who cares? I know you don't! I dont' either!
Pity parties are stupid and senseless, they accomplish nothing and only make you think you're going through more than everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I know some people carry much heavier burdens than others and are legit for recieving an ounce of pity from others. But most of the things we "pity party" about are problems caused ourselves, like our weight, our looks, our grades, all excuses for us not being inspired to really make the best of what we are given.Anyone who pities themself for more than the length of one song has too much damn time on their hands. I used to do that to myself and then I felt better and ate chocolate after, but where did that get me except a few calories heavier? The second I envy someone on TV or in person I try to motivate myself to buy a product or go to the gym or read something that will improve whatever I feel falls short of my self goals. I'm just saying this because I dont' think people need to do this to themselves to make them feel better. I see people I know do it, and I know that they don't need to tell me about what's "wrong" with them physically or whatever or sulk about they, need to change themselves, making them happier and nin turn making me feel better because they are happy.
Enough bullshit, I need to get ready to go to fourth period, Honors 20/21st Century class. I just hope maybe somebody reads this and can think about it and make themself feel better abour who they are.
Valentine's Day is a good idea, but not to the extent it's at today. It's just a way for chocolate, card, jewelry, and flower companies to have an extra boost in the winter.Should we feel inferior to those who have a significant other? Is that always the best thing to have one person you give yourself to and rely on? Or is that a lil needy in a society that emphasizes self reliance and eestem. Society always contradicts itself and has too much influence on the individual. Damn society. Why shoudl I be embarrased because I haven't found a boyfriend? Does that make me any less of a woman phsyically or mentally. And why is it so bad to have different kind of relationships, does it always have to be the traditional boyfriend/girlfirend. Why is it bad if the situation is different. Why are we always seeking a boyfriend/girlfriend? We must be that uncomfortable with own image to always get dressed for and look nice for the opposite sex, rather than for ourself.Is it bad that I like more than one guy if I have not committed myself to either one? Isn't that just nature that I'm acting on. It seems more sensible to explore everyone before settling down with one person for a while, doesn't it? Why limit yourself like that to a "boyfriend" rather than just dating when you want, and living life to your own rules. Hmph.
I just figure if I'm gonna write once every quarter year in here, it doesn't need to be what movie I went to see with who or what color shirt I wore today. Who cares? I know you don't! I dont' either!
Pity parties are stupid and senseless, they accomplish nothing and only make you think you're going through more than everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I know some people carry much heavier burdens than others and are legit for recieving an ounce of pity from others. But most of the things we "pity party" about are problems caused ourselves, like our weight, our looks, our grades, all excuses for us not being inspired to really make the best of what we are given.Anyone who pities themself for more than the length of one song has too much damn time on their hands. I used to do that to myself and then I felt better and ate chocolate after, but where did that get me except a few calories heavier? The second I envy someone on TV or in person I try to motivate myself to buy a product or go to the gym or read something that will improve whatever I feel falls short of my self goals. I'm just saying this because I dont' think people need to do this to themselves to make them feel better. I see people I know do it, and I know that they don't need to tell me about what's "wrong" with them physically or whatever or sulk about they, need to change themselves, making them happier and nin turn making me feel better because they are happy.
Enough bullshit, I need to get ready to go to fourth period, Honors 20/21st Century class. I just hope maybe somebody reads this and can think about it and make themself feel better abour who they are.