What is a friend?
For a teenager and a college student to ask this sort of question seems, not stupid, but in a sense, it brings up another question, "Shouldn't you know that by now?" I thought I did. Maybe I do, but in life, there are crossroads that make you question what you know or thought you knew. That's why it is clever to write down these notes to allow yourself to think about who you really are and, in the case of this entry, who the people around you are and what they mean to you.
A friend would never judge you...would never try to change you just so you become the perfect friend...
Judgments, sadly, are inevitable. There will always be a quality in a friend that you simply do not like, or maybe you would lack the tolerance for such a friend. I have my own share of friends that I have a short patience limit - or as my high school teacher called it, the "poot meter" - and once in a while, I reach that limit. I keep quiet until I have cooled off and maybe then I could tolerate them once again. Psychology has taught me that the quality you don't like in others reflects a quality you do not like in yourself. It makes sense. I just realized it when I began having some self-caused conflict with another friend. I remembered telling this very friend that I had problems with my friend before because she was overly-dramatic...and now, where am I? I am now being overly-dramatic over something that I might not even worry about. I'm hurt. That's a given, but where is the line that divides showing a person how hurt you're feeling and becoming overly-dramatic?
What does that mean? As long as there's something you don't like in another person, there would always be something you don't like about yourself? Perhaps it would be inevitable. But that is why there is acceptance. As we grow older, we learn to accept that the people that surround us are authentic beings and that they are who they are, and perhaps they can improve as people, but we cannot change them totally. With that maturity, we come to accept ourselves as a person, the things we don't like about ourselves and the things we do like. I mean, think about it: if we all changed to suit the likes of one another, we'd be clones! No originality, no uniqueness, no personality. Just people.
A friend is someone you can be yourself with...and someone you can trust with your life...
I particularly like this. To be honest, not many people know the true me. It's almost as if people only see facets of your personality. For example, me - the people in high school saw me as a serious girl. I was really quiet and the ever-do-good-er. My own friends saw me as that and yes, that's true to some extent. They would tease me to no end, perhaps because they knew I wouldn't fight back, or maybe to make me come out of my shell. The people in college see me as sabaw. I was sabaw in high school also, but I guess it never really came out until I met new people. Maybe it was the fact that they don't know anything about me and I can start anew, or that I just found myself with them. I tend to be serious too, but more often than not, I'm serious because of studies or if there's someone who's got a problem, but as far as they know, I'm just sabaw! In my family...no, let's not go there, but just so you have an idea, they claim I'm adopted.
It makes me wonder though if there will ever be a person that sees all sides of me: the serious, the sabaw, the adopted all in one. People are beginning to actually, which is a good thing. It could also be a bad thing because it makes me more vulnerable and more trusting of the other, or in a sense, perhaps a forced trust with more than your secrets.
We're talking about your life - and not the haaaaaaaa-yah! kind of trust with your life, although I do have friends who may do that - and your whole being. Knowing me and knowing who I am, gives them an edge, because they become my weakness. But the true friend is the one who makes you stronger to compensate for that weakness. They would never take advantage of you or strike you at the heel to make you falter.
A friend will be there for you no matter what...
Absolute fallacy, which makes me a hypocrite because I just told that to a friend. Actually no, I didn't. I said that "I'm still here for you." There's a difference. There will be times, similar to the times mentioned earlier, when you would end up disagreeing with a certain friend. At that point in time, are you there for that friend? No! You're angry! You don't talk to that person. You don't know what's going on. It's true, however, you're certain that when that friend encounters a problem that's bigger than your own, you know you'll be there.
Again, I think twice. I remember the popular quote: "If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." This talks about the temporariness of friendship. I've had friends that I've lost so what does that mean? They were never my friends? See, that's the deal. You never really know if someone would just leave you. On the other hand, enjoy each other's company and love. There will most likely be wounds, but at least for a time, for a moment, someone was there.
A friend would never judge you...would never try to change you just so you become the perfect friend...
Judgments, sadly, are inevitable. There will always be a quality in a friend that you simply do not like, or maybe you would lack the tolerance for such a friend. I have my own share of friends that I have a short patience limit - or as my high school teacher called it, the "poot meter" - and once in a while, I reach that limit. I keep quiet until I have cooled off and maybe then I could tolerate them once again. Psychology has taught me that the quality you don't like in others reflects a quality you do not like in yourself. It makes sense. I just realized it when I began having some self-caused conflict with another friend. I remembered telling this very friend that I had problems with my friend before because she was overly-dramatic...and now, where am I? I am now being overly-dramatic over something that I might not even worry about. I'm hurt. That's a given, but where is the line that divides showing a person how hurt you're feeling and becoming overly-dramatic?
What does that mean? As long as there's something you don't like in another person, there would always be something you don't like about yourself? Perhaps it would be inevitable. But that is why there is acceptance. As we grow older, we learn to accept that the people that surround us are authentic beings and that they are who they are, and perhaps they can improve as people, but we cannot change them totally. With that maturity, we come to accept ourselves as a person, the things we don't like about ourselves and the things we do like. I mean, think about it: if we all changed to suit the likes of one another, we'd be clones! No originality, no uniqueness, no personality. Just people.
A friend is someone you can be yourself with...and someone you can trust with your life...
I particularly like this. To be honest, not many people know the true me. It's almost as if people only see facets of your personality. For example, me - the people in high school saw me as a serious girl. I was really quiet and the ever-do-good-er. My own friends saw me as that and yes, that's true to some extent. They would tease me to no end, perhaps because they knew I wouldn't fight back, or maybe to make me come out of my shell. The people in college see me as sabaw. I was sabaw in high school also, but I guess it never really came out until I met new people. Maybe it was the fact that they don't know anything about me and I can start anew, or that I just found myself with them. I tend to be serious too, but more often than not, I'm serious because of studies or if there's someone who's got a problem, but as far as they know, I'm just sabaw! In my family...no, let's not go there, but just so you have an idea, they claim I'm adopted.
It makes me wonder though if there will ever be a person that sees all sides of me: the serious, the sabaw, the adopted all in one. People are beginning to actually, which is a good thing. It could also be a bad thing because it makes me more vulnerable and more trusting of the other, or in a sense, perhaps a forced trust with more than your secrets.
We're talking about your life - and not the haaaaaaaa-yah! kind of trust with your life, although I do have friends who may do that - and your whole being. Knowing me and knowing who I am, gives them an edge, because they become my weakness. But the true friend is the one who makes you stronger to compensate for that weakness. They would never take advantage of you or strike you at the heel to make you falter.
A friend will be there for you no matter what...
Absolute fallacy, which makes me a hypocrite because I just told that to a friend. Actually no, I didn't. I said that "I'm still here for you." There's a difference. There will be times, similar to the times mentioned earlier, when you would end up disagreeing with a certain friend. At that point in time, are you there for that friend? No! You're angry! You don't talk to that person. You don't know what's going on. It's true, however, you're certain that when that friend encounters a problem that's bigger than your own, you know you'll be there.
Again, I think twice. I remember the popular quote: "If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." This talks about the temporariness of friendship. I've had friends that I've lost so what does that mean? They were never my friends? See, that's the deal. You never really know if someone would just leave you. On the other hand, enjoy each other's company and love. There will most likely be wounds, but at least for a time, for a moment, someone was there.