If this is love, it feels like butterflies!
As teenagers, we tend to forget the true meaning of love, especially at this time, where hormones are raging and emotions rule our decisions. I know that I am no exception. If you ask me how I've been for the past week, I can easily say it was dramatic and full of pain and misunderstanding. I cried my eyes out, concerned with my own psychological welfare as well as for the people I am very close to...people that I see as my family.
This week, I discovered love, and not your typical teenage love. Sometimes I wonder if there is a difference. Girlfriend or boyfriend? That is something I do not need. Yes, there were several times in the past where I knew I loved someone but sometimes it is taken for granted. Many say, "You know it's love when you can't live without the person." Screw that interpretation of love. I've loved and lost, but I continue to live and I continue to love. So how do you know it is love?
I can't say it enough: "To have love, you must give love." Some people believe that they give everything to the person they "love" to keep them right where they are. Within reach, and fully and completely theirs. Why? It is NOT because of love, but it is because of pride. What does it mean then to give love? It is the giving of the self, fully and completely, without expecting anything in return. Typical, you might say, but sometimes we tend to forget such a simple (and still ironically complex) idea.
I am a teenager. I have a strong sense of pride - something I don't always express but is there, nonetheless. I am a defensive person who does not like admitting her own mistakes. It is this pride that prevents me from seeing the side of another person (egocentric) and, the worst of things is that even when I see my error, I refuse to acknowledge it. DENIAL. Defense mechanism of the ego --- psychology never ceases to amaze me when I relate it to myself.
I have discovered that perspective of love yesterday: through discarding my pride and surrender to whatever is there. I was afraid. I took the chance. I risked rejection. I cried like a child. Love conquered.
I remember when I was around four years old. I let go of my mom's hand and believed I could roam the mall by myself. I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was still there. When she was out of sight, I could not move. I sat on the side, on the floor and cried. I looked up for a moment to see a guard pass by and I wanted to approach him, to tell him that I lost my mom. But I was scared. I never talked to strangers at that time. I knew he was someone I could probably trust, but I still did not dare. I just knew that my mom would find me and find me she did.
It is not about the search for love. It is the belief that love is right there and at all costs, it is what leads us to one another. Like my mom. She stopped everything to find her daughter. Love would not let us down. It is because of the other that we love and not for ourselves.
Why do we love like this? It is because God taught us to love like this. We have come up with so many kinds of interpretations of love --- romantic love, familial love, friendship --- when there is only one.
This week, I discovered love, and not your typical teenage love. Sometimes I wonder if there is a difference. Girlfriend or boyfriend? That is something I do not need. Yes, there were several times in the past where I knew I loved someone but sometimes it is taken for granted. Many say, "You know it's love when you can't live without the person." Screw that interpretation of love. I've loved and lost, but I continue to live and I continue to love. So how do you know it is love?
I can't say it enough: "To have love, you must give love." Some people believe that they give everything to the person they "love" to keep them right where they are. Within reach, and fully and completely theirs. Why? It is NOT because of love, but it is because of pride. What does it mean then to give love? It is the giving of the self, fully and completely, without expecting anything in return. Typical, you might say, but sometimes we tend to forget such a simple (and still ironically complex) idea.
I am a teenager. I have a strong sense of pride - something I don't always express but is there, nonetheless. I am a defensive person who does not like admitting her own mistakes. It is this pride that prevents me from seeing the side of another person (egocentric) and, the worst of things is that even when I see my error, I refuse to acknowledge it. DENIAL. Defense mechanism of the ego --- psychology never ceases to amaze me when I relate it to myself.
I have discovered that perspective of love yesterday: through discarding my pride and surrender to whatever is there. I was afraid. I took the chance. I risked rejection. I cried like a child. Love conquered.
I remember when I was around four years old. I let go of my mom's hand and believed I could roam the mall by myself. I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was still there. When she was out of sight, I could not move. I sat on the side, on the floor and cried. I looked up for a moment to see a guard pass by and I wanted to approach him, to tell him that I lost my mom. But I was scared. I never talked to strangers at that time. I knew he was someone I could probably trust, but I still did not dare. I just knew that my mom would find me and find me she did.
It is not about the search for love. It is the belief that love is right there and at all costs, it is what leads us to one another. Like my mom. She stopped everything to find her daughter. Love would not let us down. It is because of the other that we love and not for ourselves.
Why do we love like this? It is because God taught us to love like this. We have come up with so many kinds of interpretations of love --- romantic love, familial love, friendship --- when there is only one.