M35 (Clinic)

[forgot_it_all]

The intercom announcement didn't exactly make Ritsuka feel very safe. It was a blatant reference to Pandora and even if it wasn't, the message was ominous enough to send a chill down anyone's spine. Taking the notice, Ritsuka went over to the door and opened it cautiously. He didn't like the idea of forcing the Clinic on Nataku, but for now, he

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[forgot_it_all]

There was a hand in his hair and Ritsuka jumped slightly as he always did. Rather than pull away as he had with Nataku though, Ritsuka relaxed and let Soubi touch him. It was just one of many small ways that Ritsuka could get physical contact that he didn't mind. He'd read somewhere that humans needed such physical contact in order to survive and until he'd met Soubi, he hadn't really understood what that had meant.

Soubi apologized about coming late and Ritsuka shook his head. Soubi had probably been with Demyx or something, which was fine. Or it was supposed to be fine. Instead, he felt a twinge of something that he couldn't quite place. Jealousy? No, probably not. Rather than say something unnecessary, though, he just shrugged and ignored the apology like Soubi didn't have anything he really needed to apologize for.

When the Fighter mentioned he had something for Ritsuka, though, the boy looked up curiously. What else could Soubi have for him? Photographs? More batteries? Ritsuka still hadn't figured out what to give Soubi in return yet, which made him feel bad about Soubi giving him gifts. He'd pierced his ears once, but that had been so long ago now. "Um, there's not much to do. Hanatarou's here and the twins, but, um....there's really nothing to do unless someone comes in." Turning to look up at Soubi when the man pulled him closer, he raised an eyebrow at him. "What is it? It isn't my birthday, you know."

[beloved_less]

Soubi wasn't going to admit that he was most likely trying to buy Ritsuka's love. It wasn't that he had no respect for it but... he didn't know how to be what the boy wanted or how to serve him without upsetting him. He just knew he had to make Ritsuka happy and, well, gifts were working. This one, however?

"I...wouldn't take a risk like this on your birthday," he said, quietly. "It's....perhaps...a sensitive subject." He tried not to look too...upset, angry? Heartbroken? But... it...got to him. The way Ritsuka cared for these strangers. Soubi was working so hard to be in the boys life and mean something and these strangers just waltzed in (and out) without a second thought. Without offering their existence. And Ritsuka accepted them completely.

Soubi ripped a few pages out of his journal and folded them around the picture of Alfons, refusing to fold THAT piece. He didn't want to...ruin it.

"Save it until the morning...?" he suggested. It might be easier if Ritsuka wasn't surrounded by people. Soubi had no idea how the boy would react and he was dreading it.

He sighed and leaned against the wall, keeping Ritsuka against him.

"You...never really answered me this morning," he pointed out. Another thing he dreaded. But he kept his tone light and, maybe, a little hopeful. "Do you....like me? The person that I am?" He kept the conversation quiet enough so that it was private in the packed room.

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Why was it a risk? Soubi took out a piece of paper and folded other papers around it, as if he were hiding it from other people's views. What was it that Soubi would be so worried about him seeing it? Ritsuka took the package and looked at it, curious about what it was. He wanted to open it right there, but Soubi's suggestion stayed his hand for now. Besides, there was a more important topic at hand.

Ritsuka hadn't answered Soubi that morning because he hadn't been able, but now that they were alone and Ritsuka didn't have to worry about the nurses hovering over them, he could. It would just take a little more courage what with the twins right next to them and Hanatarou nearby as well. Why was it so hard to say that he liked Soubi as a person? Maybe it was because those words 'I like you' were nearly impossible for him to say anyway. He could count on one hand the times he'd said it to someone, and most of those times were to his family.

Sighing, Ritsuka looked down at the mysterious present again, turning it over in his hands. He tried to play it easy, but his heart was racing as he said, "Idiot, of course I like who you are. I don't hang out with people I don't like."

[beloved_less]

Soubi's face was emitting a lot of 'trying to hide' expressions. It began with trying to hide his fear. He knew, deep down, that Ritsuka would say something nice because Ritsuka had good manners.

And then Ritsuka refused to look him in the eye. Because he was lying...or because he was...shy?

Whatever the case, Soubi struggled to keep a skeptical look on his face and his happiness beamed through despite his doubts. Even if Ritsuka didn't mean it completely... at least he cared enough to lie. Soubi's life was pretty much one big lie anyway. And if Ritsuka DID mean it? Soubi's smile grew and he leaned down, ready to kiss the boy's head but stopping himself in time.

"Thank you," he said.

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Ritsuka didn't know what was going on with Soubi's expressions because he couldn't bring himself to look up at him. What if Soubi was hurt because he couldn't say it? Or worse, what if he just didn't care? What if all he saw was that same patronizing smile he always wore? If Ritsuka's words didn't have any effect on the older man, the boy didn't know what he'd do. Likely crawl into a hole somewhere to hide until the embarrassment and horror wore off.

Instead, he noticed Soubi move closer and lean down and Ritsuka closed his eyes, but nothing came. Maybe he hadn't said the right thing after all or... Oh, right. His stupid order. Now he really couldn't look at him because he wanted to take the order back, but he couldn't. It might be taken the wrong way and he didn't want Soubi to misinterpret things. "You don't have to thank me. I was just being honest." Mostly.

[beloved_less]

"Ritsuka... you're not....hiding anything, are you?" he asked, feeling a little braver and light hearted now. Ritsuka seemed shy about something. Soubi only hoped it wasn't because he was lying!

"I honestly like you too. A lot," he said with a big smile, fingers entwined in the boys hair where one of his ears used ought to be.

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Hiding anything? Crap. Of course he was hiding things. Everyone hid things and didn't want to talk about them. Specifically, however, Ritsuka was very, very determined that Soubi never find out how much his actions threw Ritsuka for a loop. The last thing he wanted Soubi to know was how Ritsuka had been questioning his feelings. That just wasn't something he wanted to talk about with the person said 'feelings' involved. Not with--

Shooting Hikaru and Kaoru a look, he crossed his arms. Great, the teasing. "Nothing important and no, I'm not lying to you, if that's what you mean. I don't lie, remember?"

He was about to snap at them when Soubi's hand touched his head and instead of saying anything, he dropped his gaze and tried to hide the fact that his face had just turned bright red. He hated when other people touched him nothing happened, but the second it was Soubi? He flushed like he had a fever. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

[beloved_less]

Soubi followed Ritsuka's sudden look, having felt the boy's head jerk under his hand. He shot the twins a perfectly 'innocent' smile. Funny how Kio was obsessed with the idea of Soubi being 'touched' as a child, and everyone thought that was the sort of thing he was doing to Ritsuka. Well, ok, it wasn't that funny. Disturbing, really, if he thought about it too seriously. So he did his best not to.

"Ah," he said, a little surprised, "but something..." He didn't feel...too hurt. Ritsuka at least admitted there was something and Soubi shouldn't worry. He knew that.

"Tomorrow night," Soubi said, carefully, "will you be here?" Soubi wanted Ritsuka to come and hear Demyx play. But if Ritsuka wasn't here tomorrow... he'd probably be upstairs.

Ritsuka had said it was because of Soubi. Because Soubi had been alone and it wasn't fair so he wanted to make it up by saving others. Soubi, personally, felt a little put out by that... But whatever Ritsuka wanted...Ritsuka would get. Besides. Soubi still needed to go up there. For himself. Whatever that really meant....

The whole thing was getting further and further away but still left Soubi lost. The wounds were still closing in on his fate, sealing it there. He rubbed at the bandages with his spare hand. He was supposed to tell Ritsuka about his plans... he'd admitted it to the boy even. But he was starting to wonder if he should get a hand on the scalpel first...

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Ritsuka still hadn't told Soubi about his 'problem.' Then again, he hadn't told anyone. The only people to know where his doctors and Alfons and Alfons was gone. Looking at the paper in his hands, Ritsuka yet again wondered what could be within the paper package. He was tempted to open it, but Soubi had told him to wait for the morning. Lowering the package again, Ritsuka nodded and avoided Soubi's gaze. He really didn't want to talk about what happened to him. It was the entire reason his mother was the way she was, and why his family had broken apart - exacerbated when Seimei had died. "Yeah, but don't worry about it, okay? It's nothing important."

As for tomorrow...That reminded Ritsuka that Soubi wanted to go back up there to look at the room. Ritsuka didn't like the idea of that, nor did he like the idea of taking Soubi back to that horror, but he had promised and now there was nothing he could do. "...Tomorrow night is when I have to go upstairs. If someone else is going in my stead, then I'll be here, but otherwise I have to go."

[beloved_less]

Soubi knew it wasn't his place to push and pry. But...he wanted to know. He wanted Ritsuka to love and trust him enough to tell him everything. His purpose to Seimei and Ritsu before that... it was easily fulfilled. He was their Fighter, not their friend. But, for Ritsuka, a Fighter wasn't enough. For either of them, it seemed.

"Okay," he said, eventually.

His fingers went back to curling around Ritsuka's soft hair and he resisted a sigh. Upstairs it was. Maybe Soubi would find the tools himself. He wanted to see if there were reports in the lab...

He stared at one of the walls for a moment. If Kio hadn't been stubborn and given his file back... maybe Soubi could have checked it for new information. False information but still. Perhaps there was time to sneak out and get another file. But that meant there was yet another let loose into the institute. Once he had the new one, he planned to burn the first. With the pictures of Ritsu. That'd make him feel a little better.

"Alright," he said, smile a little forced. The Tamaki brat ought to be here cleaning his own mess.

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Soubi seemed like he was willing to let the issue drop, and that was just fine with Ritsuka. He hated talking about what was 'wrong' with him. When people pried into that, it just made things messy. He preferred to look to the future as much as possible, which meant he had to go back to figuring out a way to escape this place and get everyone home. He also had to think of his responsibilities.

The first of which, was Soubi.

The older man's hand was still curling in his hair and Ritsuka kept his gaze lowered. After a moment, Soubi also agreed to Ritsuka's plan for the next night and the boy finally moved away, going to put the paper package into his journal. He'd look at it tomorrow when he had time. "If Tamaki moves the Clinic to his new room, then there will be nothing more for me to do here." He shot a look to Hanatarou, hoping the lack of things to do here wasn't boring him. "And there are other people working on the upstairs, so I'm going to try and coordinate efforts so we aren't all crowding up there. It's stupid to have too many people in that room in case of monster attacks. The more people, the more dangerous it is."

Ritsuka closed his journal and stared at the cover for a moment, brow knitting together as he tried to figure out what to do. "I'll figure it out. Somehow."