(no subject)
Title: Choices (1/?): Waiting
Author:
damn_hero_zoe
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zoe/Jayne
Spoilers: Post-BDM
A/N: This is unbetaed, so be gentle. Don't know how many chapters it will be in the end, but here is Chapter 1...
Zoë was a shell after it all happened. She moved about, empty with out him, barely eating or sleeping. She did the job, but she was detached, head barely in the thick of things. Wasn't good for her. Wasn't good for the crew either.
It didn't help that they'd talk in hushed tones around her. They practically walked on eggshells and it made her want to scream, to throw herself out an airlock. Do anything to make it all stop. She stopped wearing her amour, thinking she'd meet Wash again sooner that way. But she never noticed. Not right away at least.
Jayne noticed everything about Zoë. He always had. Not that he stalked her, but he couldn't help but notice what made her smile, laugh, get serious. Mostly it was Wash that made her smile and laugh. But he could make her serious too. He watched how she changed that day. Saw her put herself out on a line fighting those Reavers. He hated seeing her like that. He thought it couldn't get worse than that. He was wrong.
He hated seeing her on the ship after that, not the way she was. Where was that hard-ass he held at gun point all that time ago? She was fragile and it scared him. He didn't wanna lose someone else. Not after losing the Shepherd and Wash. He couldn't take losing Zoë, too. She rocked his world every time she went out on the job without amour. She didn't think she had anyone to come home to, so he figured she thought she didn't need it.
Jayne took up the slack. He wore amour. He made sure to keep Zoë safe. He made sure she ate. Made sure she didn't wander the ship aimlessly at night. He took care of her in his own little way. He'd clean his guns with her. Sit in the mess with her when she was cooking, help her clean up after. Little by little, Jayne worked his way into her life and she didn't even notice.
Jayne saw that she was improving. She started to focus again. Nearly a year after losing Wash, Zoë was starting to be like her old self again. Jayne couldn't help but smile at the thought that Zoë was back. But it didn't last.
The next time they got post, there was a package. It was for Zoë. Wash had ordered her a package, long time ago, for their anniversary. Mal tried to hide it from her but he failed miserably. She took the package into her bunk and locked the door. Everyone waited anxiously to find out what it was.
Jayne paced in front of the hatch to her bunk, waiting. Everyone was cautiously moving about the ship, doing what they needed to before the next job. River was walking past and Jayne looked at her.
"Ya know how she's doin', little one?"
River punched in the code. "Needs someone." She walked back up to the bridge. River couldn't have meant him. Could she of? Jayne was the only one around and he climbed slowly do.
"Zo?" She was curled up in a ball on the bed, clutching something. Jayne couldn't see what it was. There was a simple white card next to her hand. She appeared to be asleep. Jayne moved cautiously into the room and picked up the card. It said simply, 'I wanna meet that child, too.' He looked at Zoë’s tear-stained face and saw she was clutching a stuff dinosaur. He mustta ordered this right before they took that mission, as an anniversary gift.
Jayne re-read the card and Zoë opened her eyes, surprised to see Jayne there. She didn't have it in her heart to be mean, to question why he was there. She took a breath, one that sounded like a sob and he dropped the card and pulled her and the pink plush toy into his arms.
She broke down, crying in his arms. He smoothed out her hair, shhing her, telling her it would be alright. He didn't know if it would be, but it seemed like the thing to do. "I'm here, Zo. Ya jus' let it out. I'll catch ya." She clung to him, realization dawning on her that he was always ready to catch her when she fell.
As her tears faded, she snuggled closer to him, not wanting him to let her go yet. He pulled her closer still, arms protectively around her. "Ya eva need to fall apart like that, Zo, ya got me." She nodded against his neck, not trusting her voice yet. They sat like that for some time. Finally, he spoke again.
"I wanna tell ya sumthin', sumthin' I shoulda said long time ago. Zo, I care aboutcha. Don't ya forget tha'. Ya ain't alone, angel. Ya got me. And I love ya." There, he'd said it. Probably shouldn't have but what's done is done.
Zoë pulled back slowly. "What did you say?" Her eyes were wide with surprise.
"I love ya, Zoë. Have for a long time. Since before this whole mess. Never thought I'd be tellin' ya about it, though. Don't expect nuthin' from ya, just wanted ya ta know that ya ain't alone. Ya got family here. Ya got me." He kissed her forehead.
"You've been looking out for me, Jayne. I'm sorry I didn't see it before."
"Ya don't got nuthin' ta be sorry for, Zo." Jayne was about to speak but her lips were on his, soft and full like he thought they'd be, better even. He pulled back after a minute.
"Zo?"
"Jayne, thank you." She kissed him quickly. "For everything."
"Aww, Zo, ya ain't gotta thank me for nuthin'. And I ain't expecting nuthin' from ya."
"I know." She snuggled close to him and he smiled. "Doesn't mean you won't get something."
"Wha' ya sayin', Zo?"
"Just that you should learn to expect the unexpected. I do now. I got some choices need to be made."
"I’ll be here."
"Good." He wrapped her up in his arms and lay back on the bed with her, holding her close, chasing away the bad dreams. He could wait if that's what she wanted him to do.
Chapter 2: Safe
Author:
damn_hero_zoe
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zoe/Jayne
Spoilers: Post-BDM
A/N: This is unbetaed, so be gentle. Don't know how many chapters it will be in the end, but here is Chapter 1...
Zoë was a shell after it all happened. She moved about, empty with out him, barely eating or sleeping. She did the job, but she was detached, head barely in the thick of things. Wasn't good for her. Wasn't good for the crew either.
It didn't help that they'd talk in hushed tones around her. They practically walked on eggshells and it made her want to scream, to throw herself out an airlock. Do anything to make it all stop. She stopped wearing her amour, thinking she'd meet Wash again sooner that way. But she never noticed. Not right away at least.
Jayne noticed everything about Zoë. He always had. Not that he stalked her, but he couldn't help but notice what made her smile, laugh, get serious. Mostly it was Wash that made her smile and laugh. But he could make her serious too. He watched how she changed that day. Saw her put herself out on a line fighting those Reavers. He hated seeing her like that. He thought it couldn't get worse than that. He was wrong.
He hated seeing her on the ship after that, not the way she was. Where was that hard-ass he held at gun point all that time ago? She was fragile and it scared him. He didn't wanna lose someone else. Not after losing the Shepherd and Wash. He couldn't take losing Zoë, too. She rocked his world every time she went out on the job without amour. She didn't think she had anyone to come home to, so he figured she thought she didn't need it.
Jayne took up the slack. He wore amour. He made sure to keep Zoë safe. He made sure she ate. Made sure she didn't wander the ship aimlessly at night. He took care of her in his own little way. He'd clean his guns with her. Sit in the mess with her when she was cooking, help her clean up after. Little by little, Jayne worked his way into her life and she didn't even notice.
Jayne saw that she was improving. She started to focus again. Nearly a year after losing Wash, Zoë was starting to be like her old self again. Jayne couldn't help but smile at the thought that Zoë was back. But it didn't last.
The next time they got post, there was a package. It was for Zoë. Wash had ordered her a package, long time ago, for their anniversary. Mal tried to hide it from her but he failed miserably. She took the package into her bunk and locked the door. Everyone waited anxiously to find out what it was.
Jayne paced in front of the hatch to her bunk, waiting. Everyone was cautiously moving about the ship, doing what they needed to before the next job. River was walking past and Jayne looked at her.
"Ya know how she's doin', little one?"
River punched in the code. "Needs someone." She walked back up to the bridge. River couldn't have meant him. Could she of? Jayne was the only one around and he climbed slowly do.
"Zo?" She was curled up in a ball on the bed, clutching something. Jayne couldn't see what it was. There was a simple white card next to her hand. She appeared to be asleep. Jayne moved cautiously into the room and picked up the card. It said simply, 'I wanna meet that child, too.' He looked at Zoë’s tear-stained face and saw she was clutching a stuff dinosaur. He mustta ordered this right before they took that mission, as an anniversary gift.
Jayne re-read the card and Zoë opened her eyes, surprised to see Jayne there. She didn't have it in her heart to be mean, to question why he was there. She took a breath, one that sounded like a sob and he dropped the card and pulled her and the pink plush toy into his arms.
She broke down, crying in his arms. He smoothed out her hair, shhing her, telling her it would be alright. He didn't know if it would be, but it seemed like the thing to do. "I'm here, Zo. Ya jus' let it out. I'll catch ya." She clung to him, realization dawning on her that he was always ready to catch her when she fell.
As her tears faded, she snuggled closer to him, not wanting him to let her go yet. He pulled her closer still, arms protectively around her. "Ya eva need to fall apart like that, Zo, ya got me." She nodded against his neck, not trusting her voice yet. They sat like that for some time. Finally, he spoke again.
"I wanna tell ya sumthin', sumthin' I shoulda said long time ago. Zo, I care aboutcha. Don't ya forget tha'. Ya ain't alone, angel. Ya got me. And I love ya." There, he'd said it. Probably shouldn't have but what's done is done.
Zoë pulled back slowly. "What did you say?" Her eyes were wide with surprise.
"I love ya, Zoë. Have for a long time. Since before this whole mess. Never thought I'd be tellin' ya about it, though. Don't expect nuthin' from ya, just wanted ya ta know that ya ain't alone. Ya got family here. Ya got me." He kissed her forehead.
"You've been looking out for me, Jayne. I'm sorry I didn't see it before."
"Ya don't got nuthin' ta be sorry for, Zo." Jayne was about to speak but her lips were on his, soft and full like he thought they'd be, better even. He pulled back after a minute.
"Zo?"
"Jayne, thank you." She kissed him quickly. "For everything."
"Aww, Zo, ya ain't gotta thank me for nuthin'. And I ain't expecting nuthin' from ya."
"I know." She snuggled close to him and he smiled. "Doesn't mean you won't get something."
"Wha' ya sayin', Zo?"
"Just that you should learn to expect the unexpected. I do now. I got some choices need to be made."
"I’ll be here."
"Good." He wrapped her up in his arms and lay back on the bed with her, holding her close, chasing away the bad dreams. He could wait if that's what she wanted him to do.
Chapter 2: Safe