A Tale by the Sisters Hameron ~ Book 2 - Chapter 11, Part 2
Title: A Tale by the Sisters Hameron ~ Book 2
Chapter: 11 of 20, Part 2
Authors: jellybean728 and daisyb10
Rating: Suitable for Teens. 13 years +
Pairings: House/Cameron, Wilson/Cuddy
Summary: A Housian adaptation of Shrek 2.
Disclaimer: We do not own House, M.D., Shrek, or any of their characters, nor do we profit from this story.
Chapter 11: A Changed Man, Part 2
”EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!”
“What in the hell was that?”John dropped his newspaper and jumped to his feet.
”Did somebody scream, Jeeves?”
“If I am not mistaken, Milord, I believe the cry emanated from Princess Allison’s room.”
Jeeves followed his employer’s gaze upwards.
“Why on earth is she screaming like a banshee? Did my wandering son come home?”
“I’m afraid the cause of the Princess’ distress is unknown to me at this time,” Jeeves calmly explained.
“To the best of my knowledge, Dr. House has not yet returned to New London. Do you wish me to investigate, Milord?”
“Please … and hurry! I’ll wake Lady Blythe and we’ll meet you upstairs. This may require a woman’s touch.”
“Indeed, Lord General. Indeed, it may.”
~~~~~
“I just love your duck tail!” Bobbie Jo gushed.
“Can I strum your guitar?” asked Betty Jo.
“Teach me to dance …” Billie Jo purred.
Wilson basked in the attention of his adoring fans.
“Girls … girls … why don’t I teach you the twist?”
“The fairer sex can be cruelly fickle.” House chuckled, noticing Foreman’s morose expression.
“I do believe you’ve lost your gatitos!”
“They will come to their senses. Of this, I am sure,” Foreman said flatly, then walked away.
“Wilson? I’m afraid you cannot conduct your class. It’s time to say our farewells.”
“Awww … do we have to?” Wilson whined.
“Yes, we do.” House said firmly. “Excuse me, ladies, would you have a phone I might borrow, please?
“You can use mine.” Betty Jo offered her iPhone to House.
“Thank you, Miss Bradley.”
Wilson disentangled himself from Billie Jo's arms. "Are you calling Cameron?"
“I shan’t, just yet.” House pulled out his wallet and hunted for his AAA card.
“Hullo? AAA? Right-o! I’m calling to report a lost Hummer.
Indeed! I agree. It is akin to misplacing an elephant …
What’s that you say?
Yes. The vehicle is equipped with OnStar.
You can? You will?
That’s frightfully kind of you.
Absolutely. The license plate reads ‘LRDGNRL’.
Toodlepip!”
House smiled with relief.
“They’ve located the Hummer! A serviceman will be here within the hour and drive us to our vehicle.”
“But how will they know where to find us, Boss?” Foreman asked. “We don’t even know where we are.”
“And whose fault is that?” Wilson sneered at Foreman.
“Wilson, that’s enough.”
House held up his hand. “Miss Bradley’s iPhone has GPS.”
Wilson tried a different tack. "We can drop Fritz off on the way home ..."
“Please, Señor Greg, I have not yet repaid my dept to you,“ Foreman began.
“I would be honoured if you would allow me to accompany you to New London.”
“Certainly, Fritz, if that is your wish. Then we shall just stop at your home, to allow you to change,“
House said, picking up the phone once more.
Foreman smugly glared sideways at Wilson.
“Who are you calling now?” Wilson asked.
“Jeeves.” House said absentmindedly while he keyed in his parents’ phone number.
Wilson persisted. "Why Jeeves?" Why not Cameron?"
“Because I’m not me. The old me. The American me.” House sighed impatiently.
“As soon as I open my mouth, Allison will know something’s wrong.”
"Can't you just fake an American accent?" Wilson pushed.
House stared at Wilson in disbelief. "Do you know how bloody difficult that is to do?"
House set down the phone to focus on Wilson. “I have to speak with Allison in person.
This …” House swept his hand over his body, ”is not the kind of news you break over the phone.”
“Don’t you think you’re blowing this out of proportion? Wilson questioned.
”You’ve got to remember, for most of her life Cameron’s body has transformed every evening at sunset.”
“She’s used to change!” Wilson said with confidence.
“It won’t upset her at all! You’ll see!”
~~~~~
”EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!”
Jeeves knocked on the door of Cameron’s bedroom.
“Your Highness? Princess Allison? Might I ask your permission to enter your room?”
“Go away!” Cameron sobbed.
“It is apparent to me, you are in great distress. Please, Your Highness, let me be of assistance.
Are you ill? Shall I summon a physician?”
“No, I’m not ill.”
“I am greatly relieved to hear this good news. But if I might be permitted to ask, why are you screaming, if not from pain?”
“You might as well see.” Cameron said quietly. “You may enter, Jeeves.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
Jeeves opened the door with some trepidation.
Macintosh lay curled up on the floor basking in the bright morning sunlight that poured in the window.
“Princess?”
Cameron sat on the side of her made-up bed, her hands clasped in her lap, staring off into space.
She started to rise.
“Let me assist you with your crutch, Your Highness …”
“There’s no need, Jeeves.”
She walked towards Jeeves carrying a pair of stilettos.
“Your Highness, you’re … you’re …”
For the first time in his life, Jeeves was at a loss for words.
“Healed.” Cameron said quietly, finishing his sentence.
But as she neared, Jeeves noticed something was amiss.
She stopped, facing him, scant inches away.
“How tall are you, Jeeves?”
“Six-foot-four, Princess Allison.”
Cameron bent down and put on the four-inch heels.
And looked Jeeves straight in the eye.
~~~~~
“Shall I presume there’s a cause for this frightful delay?”
House looked anxiously at his watch as he waited with Wilson in Foreman’s driveway.
“Who knows …”
Wilson was far too busy admiring the gold lamé lining of his beaded cape to think about Foreman.
“House? Can I wear this to the ball? I kinda like this jumpsuit.”
“You most certainly may not! It’s vulgar attire!
And when we arrive at the manor, be certain to wash that… that … lubricant from your hair!” House grumbled.
“Aha! There’s Fritz. Oh, my word …!”
“And you thought my outfit was bad,” guffawed Wilson.
Foreman hurried along his garden path, dressed in black velvet pants, a cropped waist-length jacket trimmed in brilliant gold braid, and a black satin shirt and bolo. The bolo was secured by a solid gold cat with marquise emerald eyes.
His signature boots and a velvet fedora completed the rakish ensemble.
“My apologies for the delay, Boss, but I wanted to look my best for your wedding celebration.”
Foreman jumped into the back seat of the Hummer, out of breath from his rushed preparations.
“Perchance, did I leave the impression this was a costume ball?
Drat-it, Fritz! Have you taken leave of your senses?” House asked, aghast at Foreman’s appearance.
"Usted es diciendome como vestirme? This is my finest evening attire!" Foreman said haughtily, taking great offense.
“Piffle!” House revved the engine and sped down the driveway.
“And yes, I am telling you how to dress! You look like a deranged mariachi!”
~~~~~
“Allison, what happened?”
“I don’t know, Lady Blythe. The last thing I remember was carrying my suitcase to the front door last night.”
Lady Blythe smiled gently at the bewildered daughter-in-law she had grown to love.
“You fainted, my dear. Jeeves carried you upstairs and you slept through the night. Go on, darling …”
“When I woke up this morning, I was feeling just fine. And that’s when I noticed it.”
Cameron stopped and looked down at her legs.
“Noticed what?” asked John.
“My legs! They had grown! And my hip dysplasia was cured!” she cried.
The Lord General paced anxiously.
What’s happening? This must be the work of the Fairy Godmother!
What’s she up to? I’ve come up with a plan. I’ve done what she’s ordered!
I’m working on breaking up Gregory and Allison … I need time! More time!
I need those pictures from Fritz!
“But it’s wonderful news that you’re no longer crippled! Surely that must make you happy, my dear?” asked Blythe.
“Of course it does, Lady Blythe! But it’s the way it happened that bothers me.”
Cameron struggled to gather her thoughts. “And then there’s my closet …”
“Your closet?” Jeeves asked, returning to the room with a cup of tea for Cameron.
“Yes, my closet. When I went to get dressed, all my old clothes were gone.
It was filled with beautiful gowns and high heels, like this …”
Cameron stood up to model her green velvet gown and sparkling stilettos.
“They all fit me perfectly and I’m six inches taller!”
“What will Greg think when he sees how I’ve changed?”
Lady Blythe embraced Cameron. “Listen to me, darling. If I know my son, and I most certainly do, he’ll be overcome with joy that you’re no longer crippled. He only wants the best for you. You must know that, dear.”
Cameron nodded and wiped a tear from her eye.
.
“And as far as your height?” Blythe stepped back to admire Cameron’s new figure. “Greg loves you!
Whether you’re 5-foot-6 or 6 feet tall, it will make no difference to him, Allison, I can assure you of that!”
Cameron hugged her mother-in-law. “Thank you, Lady Blythe. I just wish I knew where my husband is …”
“Ahem.” Jeeves cleared his throat.
“If I might interrupt, Princess Allison. While I was in the midst of preparing your tea,
I received a telephone communication from Doctor House. It appears he had car trouble …”
“With my Hummer?” groused John.
“What does it matter, John!” Blythe scolded. “Please continue, Jeeves.”
“Very good, Milady.”
“It appears he had car trouble, but is on his way home. He expects to arrive within the next hour.”
“One hour?” John huffed. “We’re already late! King Bertram’s expecting us.”
“I’m not leaving until I speak with my husband!” Cameron said firmly.
“Might I suggest a compromise, Lord General?” Jeeves asked.
“Rather than delay your departure in anticipation of Dr. House’s arrival, it would be my pleasure to attend to his needs.”
“Hmmm … that would work, Jeeves.” John rubbed his chin as he assessed Jeeves’ suggestion.
“You can send Gregory to the palace as soon as he’s dressed for the ball.”
“Indeed, Milord.”
“Agreed, Princess Allison?”
“Agreed, Lord General House.”
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