A Tale by the Sisters Hameron ~ Book 2 - Chapter 12
Title: A Tale by the Sisters Hameron ~ Book 2
Chapter: 12 of 20
Authors: jellybean728 and daisyb10
Rating: Suitable for Teens. 13 years +
Pairings: House/Cameron, Wilson/Cuddy
Summary: A Housian adaptation of Shrek 2.
Disclaimer: We do not own House, M.D., Shrek, or any of their characters, nor do we profit from this story.
Chapter 12: The Swap
”The young master returns …” Jeeves muttered, upon hearing the familiar rumble of the Lord General’s Hummer pulling into the porte-cochere.
“Dr. House? Dr. Wilson?” Jeeves stepped outside to greet the men. “What an extraordinary transformation!”
“Indeed. For us, too.” House agreed. ”We paid a call to the Fairy Godmother and took the liberty of indulging in one of her potions.”
“An event you so kindly shared with me, sir,” Jeeves acknowledged.
“If I might be permitted to say, I find your new accent most pleasing, Dr. House.”
“Thank you.” House smiled.
“And wait until you hear me sing, Jeeves. I sound just like Elvis!” Wilson added enthusiastically.
“I can scarcely contain my excitement, sir,” Jeeves commented dryly.
“Ahem.” House cleared his throat with amusement. “Jeeves, may I present our friend, Dr. Eric F. Foreman.”
“How do you do?” Jeeves eyed Forman from head to toe. “Excuse my boldness, Dr. Foreman, but your attire … the last time I saw such a magnificent ensemble was at the royal palace of Santiago de Compostela.”
“You have a discerning eye, my good man,” Foreman purred as he gloated.
“Thank you, sir.” Jeeves replied proudly.
“Jeeves, did you do as I asked?” House asked anxiously, ignoring Foreman.
“Indeed, I did, Dr. House. I did not impart any knowledge of your transformation to Princess Allison.
Her Highness recently departed for King Bertram’s palace in the company of your parents.”
“Excellent. We shall head for the palace immediately as well, as soon as we …” House glared pointedly at Wilson, “shower and change our clothes.”
“Very good, sir.”
~~~~~
“Jeeves? JEEVES?” shouted a very damp House, as he stood in his bedroom with a bath towel wrapped loosely around his hips.
”May I be of assistance, Dr. House?”
“Yes, you may, Jeeves.” House stepped aside, offering Jeeves an unimpeded view of the contents of his closet.
Crisply ironed dress shirts, the finest silk ties, tailored suits, designer evening wear, polished leather shoes and accessories all awaited his perusal.
“What, pray tell, is this?” House asked, the pitch of his voice, rising slightly with anxiety.
“All my clothes are gone. My blue jeans, my rocker tees, my tennis shoes … everything is gone!”
“House, I have a problem!” Wilson shouted, bursting into the room, similarly clad in a fluffy white towel.
“Get in line …” muttered House.
“I went to change like you said, and all my clothes are gone! My closet’s full of Elvis jumpsuits!”
“Surely, you exaggerate!”
“No! There are red ones, blue ones, black ones …” Wilson rambled.
“Wilson …”
“Sparkly ones, fringed ones, beaded ones …”
“Wilson …”
“Satin, velvet, suede, leather …”
“Enough Wilson, enough! Just select the most conservative costume you can find.
That will have to suffice,” House sighed wearily as Wilson left the room. “What is happening to us?”
“If I might venture a guess, sir, I suspect all this … “ Jeeves gestured to the walk-in closet, “is intended to facilitate your transformation. Clothes do make the man, after all, Dr. House.”
House reached into the closet and selected an outfit.
With a grey suit in one hand and a starched white shirt in the other, he looked at his reflection in the mirror.
“Fine! I’ll wear this.”
“Very good, sir.” Jeeves said with a sneer, turning away.
Jeeves’ reaction did not go unnoticed.
“Don’t you like this suit, Jeeves?” House questioned intently.
“Yes, sir. It’s quite satisfactory,” Jeeves replied through pursed lips.
House stepped into the dressing room to change, but quickly returned.
“Alright. Out with it! Why don’t you like this suit, Jeeves?” House asked firmly.
Jeeves examined the suit.
“It is not a matter of disliking the suit, sir. The wool is of the finest quality. The cut is superb and the shade of grey is quite pleasing to the eye. It is just, in my opinion, a tad informal for an occasion such as this.”
“If I might …” Jeeves began, “this tuxedo, would make a most favourable impression on your wife, Princess Allison.”
House eyed the offering. “Poppycock, Jeeves! Me? Dress like a primate? In an Armani tuxedo? How absurd!” he scoffed.
“As you wish, sir.” Jeeves replied and quietly left the room.
One half hour later …
“The keys to your father’s Mercedes, Dr. House.”
“Thank you, Jeeves.”
Jeeves smiled with satisfaction as a tuxedoed House drove off to the palace with Wilson and Foreman.
~~~~~
Though the trappings of royalty held no interest for House, the sight of King Bertram’s white marble palace sparkling brilliantly in the summer sunshine, took his breath away. As they drove slowly through the courtyard, House, Wilson and Foreman could not help but notice the attention they garnered.
“Everyone is looking at us, Boss,” Foreman said, returning the waves of the workers assembling the spectator tents.
“It’s probably my outfit!”
“It’s probably Daddy’s convertible!” House nodded to the TV crews checking the satellite feeds.
“It’s probably me!” Wilson shouted, winking back at the women who were unloading flowers.
House parked the Mercedes by the palace steps and approached the security guard.
“Good afternoon, sir. May I see some ID, please?”
“With pleasure.” House handed the guard his security pass. “I’m Doctor Gregory House and these are my colleagues,
Dr. James Wilson and Dr. Eric F. Foreman. If you would please tell my wife, Princess Doctor Allison Cameron,
that her husband is here to see her, I would be forever in your debt.”
“Certainly, sir. I’ll announce your arrival.”
~~~~~
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!”
The lady-in-waiting jumped back in alarm. “What is it, Your Highness?”
“I’m sorry, Marie. I was startled by my reflection in the mirror.”
Cameron’s scream echoed through the courtyard.
“Allison?” House shouted, as he tore up the front steps of the palace.
Cameron ran to her balcony. “Greg, is that you?”
“Allison!”
“Greg!”
House ran down the hallway towards the east staircase.
Cameron skipped down the staircase from the second floor.
“Allison!”
“Greg!”
Cameron dashed down the front steps of the palace.
House flew up the stairs to the second floor and ran into the first room he saw.
“Allison?”
A cloaked figure hovered in front of the bedroom window. As it turned, it shed its lavender robe.
“Fairy Godmother?”
Stacy smiled lasciviously. “Hello, handsome!”
~~~~~
“Cameron?” Cameron stopped and stared at the familiar young man.
“Wilson? Is that you?”
Wilson held out his arms and embraced his friend.
“Cameron, you ran out the door! You’re cured! The potion worked on you, too! Just like the label said it would.
’If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine.
Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.’
And you’re tall! Really, tall. Really, really, tall. Really, really, really …”
“Enough! Wilson, you’re babbling! I know that I’m tall. What potion? What are you talking about?” Cameron asked.
“House and I split a bottle of ‘Happily Ever After’ potion that we stole from the Fairy Godmother.
It was so cool! You should have seen us. Me and House. House and me. On a whirlwind adventure. And I can sing!
Do you want to hear me sing?”
“Not right now, Wilson. You said that you and Greg drank a magic potion?”
“Yep. And now, I hate to brag …” Wilson blushed.
“We’ve both been transformed into sexy, hot men!”
“I can see that. Did you say both you and Greg?”
Cameron eyed the flamboyantly attractive man standing just to the left of Wilson. Could it be?
“Greg? Is that you?”
“I can be any man you desire, Your Highness. It would be my honour to fulfill your fantasies.”
“In your dreams, Fritz. Cameron, I’d like to introduce Dr. Eric F. Forman.
He’s a stray we picked up on our trip. Fritz, this is Princess Doctor Allison Cameron.”
Foreman bowed and kissed Cameron’s hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.
Your husband speaks constantly of his love for you.”
“Thank you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cameron smiled. “Wilson, where’s Greg?”
“He just ran inside! He’s looking for you!”
~~~~~
Chase stood on the balcony of his father’s palace, admiring the glorious view of Cape Wooster.
With its lush, rolling hillsides and sparkling Atlantic coast, it was a magical Kingdom that soon would be his.
The fact that no one recognized him as the Prince of Cape Wooster did not come as a surprise to Chase.
He hadn’t been home since he left for boarding school almost twenty years ago.
I left as a boy … I returned as a man …
“Greg?” called a sweet voice.
Chase stepped into the hallway. “Yes, it’s me, my darling Allison.”
“Greg, you look so different.” Cameron shyly studied the attractive young man.
Such beautiful blonde hair. Such a handsome face.
”Have you shrunk? And what happened to your voice?”
Have I shrunk? Chase seethed.
The Fairy Godmother neglected to tell me the Princess was an Amazon!
I’m 5-foot-10 and she’s towering over me!
I must stay calm … breathe … breathe …
Chase took Cameron’s hands in his.
“The potion might have changed a lot of things about me, Allison, but it didn’t diminish my love for you.”
“Princess Allison? Prince Robert …?” The Lord General asked, as he entered the corridor from an adjoining room.
“Prince Robert is dining with King Bertram, Dad.” Chase offered, awkwardly trying to deflect John’s questions.
“I know this visit got off to a bad start, Dad, but I hope you’ll give me a second chance. It would mean so much to Allison and me if you’d bless our marriage,” Chase said eagerly as he slipped his arm around Cameron’s waist.
“Why don’t we all go outside and enjoy this glorious weather?”
~~~~~
“I must insist you release me!” demanded House, as a dresser barricaded the bedroom door with a wave of Stacy’s wand.
“Don’t you want to see your wife, darling? Come … over here ...”
House pounded on the leaded glass window. “Allison! Allison!”
But his heart broke as his gaze focused on a distant balcony.
There stood his Cameron.
In another man’s arms.
“Allison! Allison!” he cried, once more.
“Allison! Allison!” Stacy mocked, then softened.
“I think it’s about time you stopped hurting your Princess.”
House sighed with sorrow as he turned to face Stacy.
“I just wanted her to be happy.”
“And now she can be.” Stacy said, stroking House’s cheek tenderly.
“She’s finally found the prince of her dreams. It’s time for you both to move on.”
“But look at me!” House exclaimed, as he shoved Stacy’s hand away from his face. “Look at what I’ve done for her!”
Stacy spun around angrily.
“Stop living in a fairy tale, House!
Allison’s a princess and you’re nothing but a crippled old ogre!
That’s something no potion will ever change.”
House looked out the window at Cameron and Chase.
“But … I love her …”
The warmth of Stacy’s breath caressed his ear.
“If you truly love her, Gregory … you’ll let her go.”
Go Back ... Return To Chapter 1 ... Read On ...
Chapter: 12 of 20
Authors: jellybean728 and daisyb10
Rating: Suitable for Teens. 13 years +
Pairings: House/Cameron, Wilson/Cuddy
Summary: A Housian adaptation of Shrek 2.
Disclaimer: We do not own House, M.D., Shrek, or any of their characters, nor do we profit from this story.
Chapter 12: The Swap
”The young master returns …” Jeeves muttered, upon hearing the familiar rumble of the Lord General’s Hummer pulling into the porte-cochere.
“Dr. House? Dr. Wilson?” Jeeves stepped outside to greet the men. “What an extraordinary transformation!”
“Indeed. For us, too.” House agreed. ”We paid a call to the Fairy Godmother and took the liberty of indulging in one of her potions.”
“An event you so kindly shared with me, sir,” Jeeves acknowledged.
“If I might be permitted to say, I find your new accent most pleasing, Dr. House.”
“Thank you.” House smiled.
“And wait until you hear me sing, Jeeves. I sound just like Elvis!” Wilson added enthusiastically.
“I can scarcely contain my excitement, sir,” Jeeves commented dryly.
“Ahem.” House cleared his throat with amusement. “Jeeves, may I present our friend, Dr. Eric F. Foreman.”
“How do you do?” Jeeves eyed Forman from head to toe. “Excuse my boldness, Dr. Foreman, but your attire … the last time I saw such a magnificent ensemble was at the royal palace of Santiago de Compostela.”
“You have a discerning eye, my good man,” Foreman purred as he gloated.
“Thank you, sir.” Jeeves replied proudly.
“Jeeves, did you do as I asked?” House asked anxiously, ignoring Foreman.
“Indeed, I did, Dr. House. I did not impart any knowledge of your transformation to Princess Allison.
Her Highness recently departed for King Bertram’s palace in the company of your parents.”
“Excellent. We shall head for the palace immediately as well, as soon as we …” House glared pointedly at Wilson, “shower and change our clothes.”
“Very good, sir.”
~~~~~
“Jeeves? JEEVES?” shouted a very damp House, as he stood in his bedroom with a bath towel wrapped loosely around his hips.
”May I be of assistance, Dr. House?”
“Yes, you may, Jeeves.” House stepped aside, offering Jeeves an unimpeded view of the contents of his closet.
Crisply ironed dress shirts, the finest silk ties, tailored suits, designer evening wear, polished leather shoes and accessories all awaited his perusal.
“What, pray tell, is this?” House asked, the pitch of his voice, rising slightly with anxiety.
“All my clothes are gone. My blue jeans, my rocker tees, my tennis shoes … everything is gone!”
“House, I have a problem!” Wilson shouted, bursting into the room, similarly clad in a fluffy white towel.
“Get in line …” muttered House.
“I went to change like you said, and all my clothes are gone! My closet’s full of Elvis jumpsuits!”
“Surely, you exaggerate!”
“No! There are red ones, blue ones, black ones …” Wilson rambled.
“Wilson …”
“Sparkly ones, fringed ones, beaded ones …”
“Wilson …”
“Satin, velvet, suede, leather …”
“Enough Wilson, enough! Just select the most conservative costume you can find.
That will have to suffice,” House sighed wearily as Wilson left the room. “What is happening to us?”
“If I might venture a guess, sir, I suspect all this … “ Jeeves gestured to the walk-in closet, “is intended to facilitate your transformation. Clothes do make the man, after all, Dr. House.”
House reached into the closet and selected an outfit.
With a grey suit in one hand and a starched white shirt in the other, he looked at his reflection in the mirror.
“Fine! I’ll wear this.”
“Very good, sir.” Jeeves said with a sneer, turning away.
Jeeves’ reaction did not go unnoticed.
“Don’t you like this suit, Jeeves?” House questioned intently.
“Yes, sir. It’s quite satisfactory,” Jeeves replied through pursed lips.
House stepped into the dressing room to change, but quickly returned.
“Alright. Out with it! Why don’t you like this suit, Jeeves?” House asked firmly.
Jeeves examined the suit.
“It is not a matter of disliking the suit, sir. The wool is of the finest quality. The cut is superb and the shade of grey is quite pleasing to the eye. It is just, in my opinion, a tad informal for an occasion such as this.”
“If I might …” Jeeves began, “this tuxedo, would make a most favourable impression on your wife, Princess Allison.”
House eyed the offering. “Poppycock, Jeeves! Me? Dress like a primate? In an Armani tuxedo? How absurd!” he scoffed.
“As you wish, sir.” Jeeves replied and quietly left the room.
One half hour later …
“The keys to your father’s Mercedes, Dr. House.”
“Thank you, Jeeves.”
Jeeves smiled with satisfaction as a tuxedoed House drove off to the palace with Wilson and Foreman.
~~~~~
Though the trappings of royalty held no interest for House, the sight of King Bertram’s white marble palace sparkling brilliantly in the summer sunshine, took his breath away. As they drove slowly through the courtyard, House, Wilson and Foreman could not help but notice the attention they garnered.
“Everyone is looking at us, Boss,” Foreman said, returning the waves of the workers assembling the spectator tents.
“It’s probably my outfit!”
“It’s probably Daddy’s convertible!” House nodded to the TV crews checking the satellite feeds.
“It’s probably me!” Wilson shouted, winking back at the women who were unloading flowers.
House parked the Mercedes by the palace steps and approached the security guard.
“Good afternoon, sir. May I see some ID, please?”
“With pleasure.” House handed the guard his security pass. “I’m Doctor Gregory House and these are my colleagues,
Dr. James Wilson and Dr. Eric F. Foreman. If you would please tell my wife, Princess Doctor Allison Cameron,
that her husband is here to see her, I would be forever in your debt.”
“Certainly, sir. I’ll announce your arrival.”
~~~~~
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!”
The lady-in-waiting jumped back in alarm. “What is it, Your Highness?”
“I’m sorry, Marie. I was startled by my reflection in the mirror.”
Cameron’s scream echoed through the courtyard.
“Allison?” House shouted, as he tore up the front steps of the palace.
Cameron ran to her balcony. “Greg, is that you?”
“Allison!”
“Greg!”
House ran down the hallway towards the east staircase.
Cameron skipped down the staircase from the second floor.
“Allison!”
“Greg!”
Cameron dashed down the front steps of the palace.
House flew up the stairs to the second floor and ran into the first room he saw.
“Allison?”
A cloaked figure hovered in front of the bedroom window. As it turned, it shed its lavender robe.
“Fairy Godmother?”
Stacy smiled lasciviously. “Hello, handsome!”
~~~~~
“Cameron?” Cameron stopped and stared at the familiar young man.
“Wilson? Is that you?”
Wilson held out his arms and embraced his friend.
“Cameron, you ran out the door! You’re cured! The potion worked on you, too! Just like the label said it would.
’If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine.
Happiness, comfort and beauty divine.’
And you’re tall! Really, tall. Really, really, tall. Really, really, really …”
“Enough! Wilson, you’re babbling! I know that I’m tall. What potion? What are you talking about?” Cameron asked.
“House and I split a bottle of ‘Happily Ever After’ potion that we stole from the Fairy Godmother.
It was so cool! You should have seen us. Me and House. House and me. On a whirlwind adventure. And I can sing!
Do you want to hear me sing?”
“Not right now, Wilson. You said that you and Greg drank a magic potion?”
“Yep. And now, I hate to brag …” Wilson blushed.
“We’ve both been transformed into sexy, hot men!”
“I can see that. Did you say both you and Greg?”
Cameron eyed the flamboyantly attractive man standing just to the left of Wilson. Could it be?
“Greg? Is that you?”
“I can be any man you desire, Your Highness. It would be my honour to fulfill your fantasies.”
“In your dreams, Fritz. Cameron, I’d like to introduce Dr. Eric F. Forman.
He’s a stray we picked up on our trip. Fritz, this is Princess Doctor Allison Cameron.”
Foreman bowed and kissed Cameron’s hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.
Your husband speaks constantly of his love for you.”
“Thank you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cameron smiled. “Wilson, where’s Greg?”
“He just ran inside! He’s looking for you!”
~~~~~
Chase stood on the balcony of his father’s palace, admiring the glorious view of Cape Wooster.
With its lush, rolling hillsides and sparkling Atlantic coast, it was a magical Kingdom that soon would be his.
The fact that no one recognized him as the Prince of Cape Wooster did not come as a surprise to Chase.
He hadn’t been home since he left for boarding school almost twenty years ago.
I left as a boy … I returned as a man …
“Greg?” called a sweet voice.
Chase stepped into the hallway. “Yes, it’s me, my darling Allison.”
“Greg, you look so different.” Cameron shyly studied the attractive young man.
Such beautiful blonde hair. Such a handsome face.
”Have you shrunk? And what happened to your voice?”
Have I shrunk? Chase seethed.
The Fairy Godmother neglected to tell me the Princess was an Amazon!
I’m 5-foot-10 and she’s towering over me!
I must stay calm … breathe … breathe …
Chase took Cameron’s hands in his.
“The potion might have changed a lot of things about me, Allison, but it didn’t diminish my love for you.”
“Princess Allison? Prince Robert …?” The Lord General asked, as he entered the corridor from an adjoining room.
“Prince Robert is dining with King Bertram, Dad.” Chase offered, awkwardly trying to deflect John’s questions.
“I know this visit got off to a bad start, Dad, but I hope you’ll give me a second chance. It would mean so much to Allison and me if you’d bless our marriage,” Chase said eagerly as he slipped his arm around Cameron’s waist.
“Why don’t we all go outside and enjoy this glorious weather?”
~~~~~
“I must insist you release me!” demanded House, as a dresser barricaded the bedroom door with a wave of Stacy’s wand.
“Don’t you want to see your wife, darling? Come … over here ...”
House pounded on the leaded glass window. “Allison! Allison!”
But his heart broke as his gaze focused on a distant balcony.
There stood his Cameron.
In another man’s arms.
“Allison! Allison!” he cried, once more.
“Allison! Allison!” Stacy mocked, then softened.
“I think it’s about time you stopped hurting your Princess.”
House sighed with sorrow as he turned to face Stacy.
“I just wanted her to be happy.”
“And now she can be.” Stacy said, stroking House’s cheek tenderly.
“She’s finally found the prince of her dreams. It’s time for you both to move on.”
“But look at me!” House exclaimed, as he shoved Stacy’s hand away from his face. “Look at what I’ve done for her!”
Stacy spun around angrily.
“Stop living in a fairy tale, House!
Allison’s a princess and you’re nothing but a crippled old ogre!
That’s something no potion will ever change.”
House looked out the window at Cameron and Chase.
“But … I love her …”
The warmth of Stacy’s breath caressed his ear.
“If you truly love her, Gregory … you’ll let her go.”
Go Back ... Return To Chapter 1 ... Read On ...