(no subject)
Kooey and I are sitting here, Shane's curled up on my bed sleeping. I was laying there next to him for a little while...not that there is much room on the bed here in my hospital room but we managed just the same.
I have lost track of the day...and time really doesn't mean much to me. I could hardly close my eyes to get much sleep at all because every time I did I would wake up just so scared about the babies that I had to go to the Neo Intensive Care Unit and see them. Spent a long time there when Jackie took me, sent her off because I knew I was going to sit there with my kids and it wouldn't be fair to have her sit there and watch me watch them. My mother found me up there, and sicked one of the nurses on me...had me taken back to my room...guess it was sometime in the morning. I talked to her, she told me not to worry and rest. The two things I just couldn't do, who could when their babies are hooked up to all those machines and...yeah...no rest for me.
Everyone has been trying to reassure me, my folks, my brother all my friends, the doctors and nurses. None of them really got threw, then Torrie came by. She is my angel. She held my hand, listened to those words I couldn't say to anyone else, and promptly dismissed my fears. She'll say that she didn't do anything. But really Torrie's done more then I can ever really thank her for. That does include delivering Kooey to me. Kooey is Oscar's gift of this adorable little koala bear complete with his own little fake passport. There was just something about having her there,calmed me down and helped me not be so hysterically worried as I was before. I even got some real sleep when she left. I closed my eyes, and for the first time in what seemed like forever I slept.
When I woke up, it was right to see my babies. I really can't wait for the day that I won't have to slip into this sterilized gown to go into a room where they are in this contraption where I can't even feel them with my own hands, just threw gloves built into the box they are in. Right now I have no choice I know, its the best thing for them right now, but I know the best thing should also include their parents touch. I don't know how long I wad there with them, talking to them, touching those small little arms and legs gently when Shane found us. There we were, our little family...mama, daddy, baby boy, and baby girl. I knew it wasn't right that we still hadn't picked names for the twins. It was just out of all the names that I had seen and thought about, they all just left my mind when the babies came.
It was Shane who looked down and named our son. Zachary. And call us crazy but our son, who right now seems to be the calm and more relaxed baby, started to fidget around when we called him by name. Zachary Shane Matthew Helms. Our little boy had to have his fathers name as well in my eyes. Now Zachary's little sister, couldn't be called 'Helms Baby Girl' like the little tag on her incubator said forever. Her name just, it fell from my lips with hardly any thought. I was telling Shane how perfect Zachary's name fit him,I wondered if Zemora would like her name. That was it Zemora, our little princess' name was pleasing to her as well.
My husband and I talked about some of the things that got us to where we are. Especially about the night I was giving birth. Shane told me how frantic he was to get to me. The fact that there was snow on top of snow in Chicago that night along with the fact he couldn't find his ride had him out of his mind with worry. If not for Glenn that night, Shane would not have made it to me to be there for the twins birth. Shane told me all about how he drove him to the airport and made the flight as well to make sure Shane was right by my side. He didn't have to do it, but he did. And for that we both will be eternally grateful. A simple thank you, won't cover it really but he has that coming his way anyway. Sitting there my husband and I decided to finish naming our daughter. She at least had to be equal to her brother in that effect. Zachary Shane Matthew Helms and Zemora Marie Thomsa Helms.
Now all Zach and Zemora need is to grow a little more so that we can all go home.
I have lost track of the day...and time really doesn't mean much to me. I could hardly close my eyes to get much sleep at all because every time I did I would wake up just so scared about the babies that I had to go to the Neo Intensive Care Unit and see them. Spent a long time there when Jackie took me, sent her off because I knew I was going to sit there with my kids and it wouldn't be fair to have her sit there and watch me watch them. My mother found me up there, and sicked one of the nurses on me...had me taken back to my room...guess it was sometime in the morning. I talked to her, she told me not to worry and rest. The two things I just couldn't do, who could when their babies are hooked up to all those machines and...yeah...no rest for me.
Everyone has been trying to reassure me, my folks, my brother all my friends, the doctors and nurses. None of them really got threw, then Torrie came by. She is my angel. She held my hand, listened to those words I couldn't say to anyone else, and promptly dismissed my fears. She'll say that she didn't do anything. But really Torrie's done more then I can ever really thank her for. That does include delivering Kooey to me. Kooey is Oscar's gift of this adorable little koala bear complete with his own little fake passport. There was just something about having her there,calmed me down and helped me not be so hysterically worried as I was before. I even got some real sleep when she left. I closed my eyes, and for the first time in what seemed like forever I slept.
When I woke up, it was right to see my babies. I really can't wait for the day that I won't have to slip into this sterilized gown to go into a room where they are in this contraption where I can't even feel them with my own hands, just threw gloves built into the box they are in. Right now I have no choice I know, its the best thing for them right now, but I know the best thing should also include their parents touch. I don't know how long I wad there with them, talking to them, touching those small little arms and legs gently when Shane found us. There we were, our little family...mama, daddy, baby boy, and baby girl. I knew it wasn't right that we still hadn't picked names for the twins. It was just out of all the names that I had seen and thought about, they all just left my mind when the babies came.
It was Shane who looked down and named our son. Zachary. And call us crazy but our son, who right now seems to be the calm and more relaxed baby, started to fidget around when we called him by name. Zachary Shane Matthew Helms. Our little boy had to have his fathers name as well in my eyes. Now Zachary's little sister, couldn't be called 'Helms Baby Girl' like the little tag on her incubator said forever. Her name just, it fell from my lips with hardly any thought. I was telling Shane how perfect Zachary's name fit him,I wondered if Zemora would like her name. That was it Zemora, our little princess' name was pleasing to her as well.
My husband and I talked about some of the things that got us to where we are. Especially about the night I was giving birth. Shane told me how frantic he was to get to me. The fact that there was snow on top of snow in Chicago that night along with the fact he couldn't find his ride had him out of his mind with worry. If not for Glenn that night, Shane would not have made it to me to be there for the twins birth. Shane told me all about how he drove him to the airport and made the flight as well to make sure Shane was right by my side. He didn't have to do it, but he did. And for that we both will be eternally grateful. A simple thank you, won't cover it really but he has that coming his way anyway. Sitting there my husband and I decided to finish naming our daughter. She at least had to be equal to her brother in that effect. Zachary Shane Matthew Helms and Zemora Marie Thomsa Helms.
Now all Zach and Zemora need is to grow a little more so that we can all go home.