Unbalanced relationships
"All we need to do is welcome the challenge of our relationships, training our eyes to look beyond human behavior to the Presence within." Susan Taylor
I am a co-dependent person. I too often give rather than take. When I think I am getting better, something happens and I know I still need to work on things. I think giving is fine, but I have to learn to set better boundaries. I have been able to do that in many parts of my life, but with my children, I have failed.
In the past when I have written about my co-dependence, it has been about my son, but today it is absolutely about my oldest daughter. Unemployed, single after many years in a relationship, and always, always needy.
After spending almost a half hour on the phone with her (instead of working) I am totally drained. Much of S's adult life has been on her own. She has made more than her share of mistakes. But from this she has not reached down and developed an independent character. Okay.... maybe this is all self taught since I obviously picked it up from my parents & siblings and have been teaching it to my children and grandchildren.
So how do I stop the cycle? Obviously with myself. I just sent S an e-mail saying she could not call me at work. It was hard! But hopefully a start to a better relationship.
I am a co-dependent person. I too often give rather than take. When I think I am getting better, something happens and I know I still need to work on things. I think giving is fine, but I have to learn to set better boundaries. I have been able to do that in many parts of my life, but with my children, I have failed.
In the past when I have written about my co-dependence, it has been about my son, but today it is absolutely about my oldest daughter. Unemployed, single after many years in a relationship, and always, always needy.
After spending almost a half hour on the phone with her (instead of working) I am totally drained. Much of S's adult life has been on her own. She has made more than her share of mistakes. But from this she has not reached down and developed an independent character. Okay.... maybe this is all self taught since I obviously picked it up from my parents & siblings and have been teaching it to my children and grandchildren.
So how do I stop the cycle? Obviously with myself. I just sent S an e-mail saying she could not call me at work. It was hard! But hopefully a start to a better relationship.