Random
So not a lot is new. A couple of days ago I had one of those glorious moments where everything goes right - It was raining but in the beautiful way. I was cooking, and the perfect music was in the background. Then I stabbed myself lol. On accident, but I had to finish cooking with a paper towel wedged between two fingers. Molly made fun of me because I thought I may need stiches.
The night after my last entry I had a hard time sleeping. I kept waking up and feeling panicked. It was either the iron supplement I was taking or the emotional frustration about my situation. In either case it has passed.
At first I thought I would have to give up and resign myself to substitute teaching. But it turns out even if that happens, it's not so bad. I also had an epiphany moment when I realized - I got into this career to teach, be creative, and make a positive difference. And when I sub I see a minimum of 20 students a day. If I change classes every day for a week straight and EVEN IF I only make a difference in half their lives - well then that's still 100 kids in A WEEK!! It doesn't have the staying power of if I was in their class the whole year, but it is pretty darned good none the less. And the pay is good, I don't have to grade or anything like that, and I go home when I am done. So I'm feeling better about that.
I am super excited for my friend Mikey. He just got a job as a full time drama teacher at a local middle school here. He deserves it. He has worked his butt off, sacrificed, and is so talented, passionate, and a go getter.
In other news it's mother's day. Going to Molly's house then my parents. I also told Mikey about my worry about being an alcoholic. He was very supportive and a bit awkwarded out. Also I signed up for this website Stickk.com - It is a commitment device. I commited to wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey and having it be my FB profile for a week if I don't do a half-marathon on Oct. 19th. I am doing it to harden myself mentally, to get in shape, and to hopefully overcome my negative, fearful outlook.
My computer is about to die, so I should probably go anyways.
The night after my last entry I had a hard time sleeping. I kept waking up and feeling panicked. It was either the iron supplement I was taking or the emotional frustration about my situation. In either case it has passed.
At first I thought I would have to give up and resign myself to substitute teaching. But it turns out even if that happens, it's not so bad. I also had an epiphany moment when I realized - I got into this career to teach, be creative, and make a positive difference. And when I sub I see a minimum of 20 students a day. If I change classes every day for a week straight and EVEN IF I only make a difference in half their lives - well then that's still 100 kids in A WEEK!! It doesn't have the staying power of if I was in their class the whole year, but it is pretty darned good none the less. And the pay is good, I don't have to grade or anything like that, and I go home when I am done. So I'm feeling better about that.
I am super excited for my friend Mikey. He just got a job as a full time drama teacher at a local middle school here. He deserves it. He has worked his butt off, sacrificed, and is so talented, passionate, and a go getter.
In other news it's mother's day. Going to Molly's house then my parents. I also told Mikey about my worry about being an alcoholic. He was very supportive and a bit awkwarded out. Also I signed up for this website Stickk.com - It is a commitment device. I commited to wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey and having it be my FB profile for a week if I don't do a half-marathon on Oct. 19th. I am doing it to harden myself mentally, to get in shape, and to hopefully overcome my negative, fearful outlook.
My computer is about to die, so I should probably go anyways.