FBHIMYMRPG transcripts: Thursday, April 9
Today I has... several more. Man, I'm so glad I'm saving all these Facebook chat sessions!
This first one is actually another Ted/Marshall snippet from Tuesday night: otempora42 was particularly interested in seeing it. Special invisible guest star = Victoria!
12:22amMarshall
subject change
12:22amTed
ok
12:22amMarshall
look what victoria just told me
we were talking about my work
"I can't imagine the insanity. But if I remember correctly you win every game you play, so maybe if you look at your problem like a big chess game you'll come out on top."
that's... kind of brilliant.
12:23amTed
Dude. That's TOTALLY what you need to do here. Seriously.
12:23amMarshall
I didn't think about it like that.
holy CRAP
not only can she BAKE.......
12:23amTed
Because this thing with GNB is kind of like... Marshgammon.
12:23amMarshall
dude, you have to marry her!
she has to move in with us
she has to bake cupcakes and give me work advice
dude!
GNB IS TOTALLY LIKE MARSHGAMMON
12:24amTed
I don't really think she'll agree to marry me after I dumped her for Robin. Especially the way I dumped her for Robin.
Yes!
12:24amMarshall
ok, Korea is the chocolate swamp
12:24amTed
...you've already lost me.
You're the only one who gets marshgammon, remember?
12:25amMarshall
and we need to make sure that we don't land in the chocolate swamp, because then the other players get five chips!
12:25amTed
Well, except Barney...
12:25amMarshall
No, barney gets it too.
12:25amTed
HOLY CRAP.
12:25amMarshall
fuck , I need barney's opinion on this thing
lol. yeah I saw that... we said the same thing at the same time
12:25amTed
yeah, especially since he gets it
12:25amMarshall
's why we're best bros, dude
12:25amTed
telepathic online convesation? =)
12:25amMarshall
HIGH FIVE!
12:25amTed
*SLAPS PALM!*
12:25amMarshall
word.
ok, but seriously
GNB is the red player
Korea is the yellow, and Altrucell is the monopoly roller skate.
12:26amTed
okay...
12:26amMarshall
goal: keep the chips away from korea and make sure not to spin a left-foot-green
because that would be bad for everyone.
12:26amTed
obviously.
12:26amMarshall
see, there's an element of chance. you can't control the spinner
but you CAN control the cards, to a certain extent.
this is totally going to work!
YES!
12:27amTed
Did Victoria just help you solve the GNB crisis??
12:27amMarshall
I THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE
12:27amTed
OMG!
12:27amMarshall
I hadn't THOUGHT about it like that!
12:27amTed
I GUESS I DO HAVE TO MARRY HER NOW IF SHE HELPS FIND HEATHER
Okay. Now for today: Barney wakes up, and Ted and Barney finally get to talk to each other in the hospital.
4:36pmTed
Hey
4:36pmBarney
Oh my god Ted I am *so* glad to see you Bro
*tears up*
4:36pmTed
Good to see you too. =)
I'm glad you're finally awake!
4:37pmBarney
How long have I been out?
What day is it?
4:37pmTed
Thursday.
You've been mostly out since Tuesday afternoon, from what I can make out.
4:37pmBarney
Thursday... thurday...
Whoa.
4:37pmTed
You woke up for like 2 minutes yesterday when Robin and I came in, though.
4:37pmBarney
Robin's here?
4:37pmTed
yeah, for now.
She might go back tomorrow since you told her not to lose her job over you.
4:38pmBarney
Wow.
No, she shouldn't- I mean, she *should* go BACK. She shouldn't lose her job
Why in the heck didn't she go back already Bro?
4:38pmTed
She's really conflicted about the whole thing.
Marshall and I convinced her to stay here.
4:38pmBarney
Yeah, I get that
4:39pmTed
She says she might not go back if you're not 100% by tomorrow.
4:39pmBarney
Not sure that was the right thing to do, but... it'd be goot to see her
Dude... I'm *fine*
4:39pmTed
Yeah, I'm not sure where she is at the moment.
No, you're not fine, Barney.
4:39pmBarney
Seriously, I'd be out right now if they didn't keep...
4:39pmTed
You're in the hospital!
You almost died of a drug overdose!
4:39pmBarney
Ted, seriously... they keep injecting me with this stuff
4:39pmTed
Dude, I just...
4:39pmBarney
Ted... Ted... focus.
*thinks*
4:40pmTed
Damn it, Barney..
4:40pmBarney
What? This place is enough to drive anyone crazy. Just want to see Robin, See James, GO HOME. That order
(maybe a scotch, a steak and a lapdance)
4:40pmTed
Ha.
4:40pmBarney
(and a REALLY long shower)
4:41pmTed
Why'd you take that stuff, Barney?
4:41pmBarney
Ted...
There was... it was... JESUS, I don't know. You don't know what..
There was all this STUFF.
James, and work and... Robin.
And I just HAD to keep going, you know?
Ted, you've got to believe that I never *meant*, I would NEVER...
4:43pmTed
I know, I KNOW you weren't trying to...
but
you have no idea how worried I've been about you.
not just because of this.
I've been watching you drive faster and faster for months and...
4:44pmBarney
(b the dubs, Star wars, just up to the Han/Greedo scene, thought you'd appreciate that bro)
4:44pmTed
this was like, the first time I actually realized you were hurting yourself.
Ha, great scene.
4:45pmBarney
(great scene bra)
Ted... *sighs* It's not like I don't know... I kinda... screwed up. Big time.
4:45pmTed
Yeah, you did.
4:45pmBarney
And...
Ted... I don't know... if it happened again...
4:46pmTed
Don't.
Don't even...
you CAN'T do this again. Period.
4:46pmBarney
Ted, I HATE this.
4:46pmTed
You got that?
I hate watching you go through this.
4:46pmBarney
But what do I do? How do I... got out of this?
Ted, I *want* to... I can't do this to you. Robin... she's *pretty* much giving up on me. James's life is completely destroyed. Your sister. Marshall,. Lily
You don't think I don't know what I've done?
4:47pmTed
Heather's fine.
4:47pmBarney
Ted I'd do ANYTHING...
4:47pmTed
And from what I hear, I've got you to thank for that.
4:47pmBarney
Well, that's something I guess
Please...
From what I hear it was all Marshall, Dude
4:48pmTed
That's not what he says.
4:48pmBarney
Bro, I spent the week mostly dead.
How do you think I did anything?
4:49pmTed
I don't know. But Marshall kept telling me that he didn't have the kind of clout at GNB to do anything for Heather, and that you did...
4:49pmBarney
hey,c my awesome reputation preceeds me.
4:49pmTed
And your Korean business contact was the one who ended up puling all the strings that we could see
4:49pmBarney
*can I help it if
Hey, it's just a good thing that your sis is okay
That's all that counts right?
4:50pmTed
Yeah, it's great that she's going to be all right.
4:50pmBarney
And you're okay? Ted?
4:50pmTed
I just want to make sure YOU"RE all right now.
4:50pmBarney
Bro, you should go back to NYC and be with her
She's gonna need you bro
4:50pmTed
You need me more.
4:50pmBarney
Ted, don't I look all right?
4:50pmTed
No.
4:50pmBarney
Ted, you're my bro. Of course I need you!
But she's a chick, dude. She evidently needs you more than I do
And hey, all I need is a suit and a shower and I'm ready to go
Seriously, I'm checking myself out. Right now.
*tries to get out of bed*
4:51pmTed
Lie back down, Barney.
4:52pmBarney
*bats his hands ineffectually at Ted*
Stop being such a woman!
4:52pmTed
Do I have to get the orderlies in here to restrain you? =)
4:52pmBarney
Jesus, no. Those dudes have wandering hands. Seriously
It's creepy
Ted, you don't play fair
4:52pmTed
Ugh, I bet.
It's part of my charm. =)
4:53pmBarney
Dude, that's true.
Boy, I saw a lot of strange stuff in the last couple'a days, Ted.
*holds head*
4:54pmTed
Parrots?
4:54pmBarney
This is, like, the worst hangover ever
4:54pmTed
Have we learned our lesson, then?
4:54pmBarney
Parrots... If I never see another parrot again, it'll be too soon.
4:54pmTed
That alcohol and illegal drugs don't go together?
4:54pmBarney
Yeah.
I'm too old for that shit
;-)
4:54pmTed
haha
4:55pmBarney
But I wouldn't say no to a scotch right now
Ted...
4:55pmTed
With the meds you're on, you probably shouldn't have one, though.
4:55pmBarney
Where's Robin?
4:55pmTed
Remember after the bus accident?
4:55pmBarney
Yeah... freakin' meds.
4:55pmTed
She's at James's. I'm chatting with her now.
4:55pmBarney
Can't forget the meds.
Right... you're chatting to her.
Does she hate me Ted?
4:56pmTed
No, she doesn't hate you.
She says she's on her way over now.
4:56pmBarney
Right...
Ted, I just want to... Just want to be HOME
4:57pmTed
I know, and we want you back home too
4:57pmBarney
But I need to be here for James, you know?
Ted, should I stay here for a while? In Cali?
4:57pmTed
yeah.
4:57pmBarney
Everything with James... he needs me
4:57pmTed
I don't... I don't know. Do you think you should stay here?
4:57pmBarney
I'm thinking... should I ask GNB...
Maybe a transfer?
4:58pmTed
What?
Transfer?
As in, move to Cali?
Dude..
4:58pmBarney
Ted... I can't just *abandon* James. He practically RAISED me. I owe him EVERYTHING. and he's lost everything
What am I supposed to do? Just bug out and leave him?
4:59pmTed
He hasn't lost *everything*.
He still has you.
And Sam, and his job here...
Talk to him? See what he needs.
But dude?
If you moved out here, we'd all miss you like crazy.
4:59pmBarney
Yeah, as soon as I can.
What Ted?
Ted, you know... you know I rag on you guys. But you're my best friend. I care about all of you. New York is my HOME, Dude.
But I'm torn in two here
5:01pmTed
I completely understand.
I've been feeling like that the past couple days myself.
5:01pmBarney
Ted, seriously. Heather.
5:01pmTed
I told you, you need me more than she does.
5:01pmBarney
Why are you even thinking about it
5:01pmTed
She's safe now, on her way home.
5:02pmBarney
Look at me? I'm *awesome*
5:02pmTed
I'm looking at you.
5:02pmBarney
*awesome*
And you can go home and tell they all the legendary Barney stories about how crazy I got in Cali. And...
*frowns*
God... Ted...
*rubs his temples*
5:04pmTed
This isn't going to be one of those stories we're going to tell later and be able to laugh about.
Robin's on her way up.
5:05pmBarney
Ted... When Robin gets here?
5:05pmTed
Yeah?
5:06pmBarney
Shit... I'm *scared* my hands are sweating! *rubs palms against the course cotton sheets*
Ted, she is actually gonna kill me isn't she?
5:06pmTed
It's okay.
5:06pmBarney
Christ! DOES SHE HAVE HER GUN?
5:06pmTed
No, she's not going to kill you!
5:06pmBarney
Shit... she's gonna kill me.
5:06pmTed
Well, yesterday she left her gun in the car when we came to see you.
Look, you didn't see her face yesterday.
She looked sort of...
...not like she wanted to kill you, that's for sure.
5:07pmBarney
Ted... ted... hide her gun. Seriously. This is Wendy the Waitress all over again! Check the room for anything sharp!!!
5:08pmTed
Dude, you're on suicide watch. I highly doubt there's anything sharp in here.
5:08pmBarney
*gulps*
("Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?")
Hehe. Great scene.
5:08pmTed
hehe.
GREAT. Scene.
5:09pmBarney
Ted... I think this whole suicide watch thing is a pile of crap. BUT...
5:09pmTed
but?
thee's a but?
5:09pmBarney
They kinda said they might not let me go... because...
They kind of said I might be a little bit...
Jesus...
I can't even SAY it
5:09pmTed
What?
The doctors have been really worried about the way you've been acting.
not just the medical stuff.
5:10pmBarney
They kept... throwing out all this shit. Bi-polar. Schitzoid. Freaking...
Ted, do I look like a lunatic?
Seriously?
5:10pmTed
No! Of course not.
5:10pmBarney
*sags with relief*
It's not like I'm trying to eat off my own hand or something
So, I occasionally miss a night's sleep. That's the JOB, dude. Or a really hot chick I'm banging. (What up). And so... if I occasionally drink a little bit too much.
We all do that.
It's not NUTS
5:11pmTed
Right.
But...
5:11pmBarney
Right? Right?
5:12pmTed
I still don't think you're completely all right.
5:12pmBarney
But WHAT Ted?
5:12pmTed
Have they done a psych eval on you at all?
Just asking... please don't flip out on me.
5:12pmBarney
Well, I just had my freakin' stomach pumped and they've been filling my veins with shit for two days apparently. Without ASKING me.
Ted... seriously. O#
I'm not going to flip out! WHY would I flip out!?!?
5:13pmTed
Stop flipping out! *holds up hands defensively*
5:13pmBarney
And yeah, they did about THREE stupid tests. Stupid fucking shrinks. It's not like I haven't been to a SHRINK before right?
*sags*
Ted, I'm sorry
5:13pmTed
Are you still seeing Dr. Grossbard?
It's okay, Barney.
5:14pmBarney
Dr Grossbard is kind of... mandatory. He comes as part of the package. GNB wouldn't allow me back to work unless I kept seeing him.
I didn't exactly broadcast the fact. I'm not nuts, Ted
5:14pmTed
I never said you were.
5:14pmBarney
They over-reacted to something...
Just everyone ELSE in the world is...
Jesus where is Robin?
5:15pmTed
I don't know... she said you texted her a second ago but now you're not responding?
I just messaged her asking her where she is
She's here. *looks in doorway*
Hey, Robin.
5:18pmBarney
Hey... Ted, can you give us..?
5:18pmTed
Oh, sure... see you guys later.
5:18pmBarney
Thanks dude.
5:18pmTed
No prob, buddy.
I'll be back, okay?
Simultaneously, Ted's chatting with Robin, asking her where she is:
4:53pmTed
Robin. Where are you right now?
4:54pmRobin
I'm still at James's-- are you at the hospital? Is he awake?
4:54pmTed
Yeah, I'm talking to him now.
4:55pmRobin
He's okay?
4:55pmTed
He's awake and lucid, at least.
He keeps saying he's okay, but he's still pretty frail.
He's asking for you.
4:56pmRobin
He is?
4:56pmTed
Yeah.
4:56pmRobin
I'm on my way.
4:56pmTed
see you soon then.
4:56pmRobin
Ted
4:57pmTed
what?
4:57pmRobin
Is--
Nothing.
He's okay, though?
He's talking?
4:57pmTed
no, what is it?
yeah
4:58pmRobin
Right. Okay. I'll be there soon.
5:02pmRobin
Where are you?
5:02pmTed
at the hospital, talking with Barney
5:03pmRobin
I'm in the entrance lobby... should I...?
5:03pmTed
Yes. Get your ass in here.
NOW.
5:03pmRobin
Ted, is everything okay?!
You're scaring me.
5:03pmTed
Yeah, he just needs to see you.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
5:03pmRobin
(is he online?)
5:04pmTed
Yup. He's watching a movie on his iPhone.
5:04pmRobin
on my way up
5:04pmTed
good.
5:07pmRobin
hey
5:07pmTed
He wants to know if you're going to kill him.
5:07pmRobin
Kill him?
Maybe.
No.
5:07pmTed
Please don't.
5:07pmRobin
I'd rather hug him.
If he'll let me.
5:08pmTed
Good. That's how I feel, too.
...You don't have your gun, do you?
5:08pmRobin
Ted, I'm not going to kill him!
5:09pmTed
I'm just making sure!
5:09pmRobin
My gun is safely tucked away in the rental car.
5:09pmTed
Good.
5:10pmRobin
A minute ago he texted me, and now nothing.
5:15pmTed
Robin where ARE you?
5:15pmRobin
...in the stairwell.
5:15pmTed
Robin, get in here!
5:16pmRobin
*appears in doorway*
Hi.
Ted walked out to give them some privacy after that, so... hopefully either idioticonion or secondmezzanine is saving that chat!
Lastly (just because I find this extremely hilarious) one of Ted's random French friends IMed him (aka me) this morning, and after a little awkward chitchat between strangers, this happened:
8:15amSamuelle
so, you're a HIMYM fan too?
8:15amTed
what's HIMYM?
8:16amSamuelle
in your opinion? ;)
8:16amTed
huh?
No, like, what does that stand for?
8:17amSamuelle
How I met Your Mother
: HIMYM
8:17amTed
Is that some kind of reality show?
LIke, the Bachelor?
8:17amSamuelle
Exactly :)
8:17amTed
I don't think I've ever seen it.
8:18amSamuelle
it's the story of 5 new yorkers
8:19amTed
hmm... you mean, like Friends?
8:19amSamuelle
not really
in friends there is just..Comic
In HIMYM the boys and girls, are comic too, but there's something more
they look for the real love, and they look for themselves in the same time
8:21amTed
Oh... that sounds like a pretty interesting show.
I might have to check it out sometime...
8:21amSamuelle
:)
yes, you really have to ;)
8:21amTed
it's a good show, you'd say?
8:22amSamuelle
For me, yes
it help me to listen English
Oh, FBHIMYMRPG. *hugs the extremely long acronym*
I feel like I need to write some kind of Ted fic around all this DRAMA, but I have no idea where to start. He's got a lot going on.
This first one is actually another Ted/Marshall snippet from Tuesday night: otempora42 was particularly interested in seeing it. Special invisible guest star = Victoria!
12:22amMarshall
subject change
12:22amTed
ok
12:22amMarshall
look what victoria just told me
we were talking about my work
"I can't imagine the insanity. But if I remember correctly you win every game you play, so maybe if you look at your problem like a big chess game you'll come out on top."
that's... kind of brilliant.
12:23amTed
Dude. That's TOTALLY what you need to do here. Seriously.
12:23amMarshall
I didn't think about it like that.
holy CRAP
not only can she BAKE.......
12:23amTed
Because this thing with GNB is kind of like... Marshgammon.
12:23amMarshall
dude, you have to marry her!
she has to move in with us
she has to bake cupcakes and give me work advice
dude!
GNB IS TOTALLY LIKE MARSHGAMMON
12:24amTed
I don't really think she'll agree to marry me after I dumped her for Robin. Especially the way I dumped her for Robin.
Yes!
12:24amMarshall
ok, Korea is the chocolate swamp
12:24amTed
...you've already lost me.
You're the only one who gets marshgammon, remember?
12:25amMarshall
and we need to make sure that we don't land in the chocolate swamp, because then the other players get five chips!
12:25amTed
Well, except Barney...
12:25amMarshall
No, barney gets it too.
12:25amTed
HOLY CRAP.
12:25amMarshall
fuck , I need barney's opinion on this thing
lol. yeah I saw that... we said the same thing at the same time
12:25amTed
yeah, especially since he gets it
12:25amMarshall
's why we're best bros, dude
12:25amTed
telepathic online convesation? =)
12:25amMarshall
HIGH FIVE!
12:25amTed
*SLAPS PALM!*
12:25amMarshall
word.
ok, but seriously
GNB is the red player
Korea is the yellow, and Altrucell is the monopoly roller skate.
12:26amTed
okay...
12:26amMarshall
goal: keep the chips away from korea and make sure not to spin a left-foot-green
because that would be bad for everyone.
12:26amTed
obviously.
12:26amMarshall
see, there's an element of chance. you can't control the spinner
but you CAN control the cards, to a certain extent.
this is totally going to work!
YES!
12:27amTed
Did Victoria just help you solve the GNB crisis??
12:27amMarshall
I THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE
12:27amTed
OMG!
12:27amMarshall
I hadn't THOUGHT about it like that!
12:27amTed
I GUESS I DO HAVE TO MARRY HER NOW IF SHE HELPS FIND HEATHER
Okay. Now for today: Barney wakes up, and Ted and Barney finally get to talk to each other in the hospital.
4:36pmTed
Hey
4:36pmBarney
Oh my god Ted I am *so* glad to see you Bro
*tears up*
4:36pmTed
Good to see you too. =)
I'm glad you're finally awake!
4:37pmBarney
How long have I been out?
What day is it?
4:37pmTed
Thursday.
You've been mostly out since Tuesday afternoon, from what I can make out.
4:37pmBarney
Thursday... thurday...
Whoa.
4:37pmTed
You woke up for like 2 minutes yesterday when Robin and I came in, though.
4:37pmBarney
Robin's here?
4:37pmTed
yeah, for now.
She might go back tomorrow since you told her not to lose her job over you.
4:38pmBarney
Wow.
No, she shouldn't- I mean, she *should* go BACK. She shouldn't lose her job
Why in the heck didn't she go back already Bro?
4:38pmTed
She's really conflicted about the whole thing.
Marshall and I convinced her to stay here.
4:38pmBarney
Yeah, I get that
4:39pmTed
She says she might not go back if you're not 100% by tomorrow.
4:39pmBarney
Not sure that was the right thing to do, but... it'd be goot to see her
Dude... I'm *fine*
4:39pmTed
Yeah, I'm not sure where she is at the moment.
No, you're not fine, Barney.
4:39pmBarney
Seriously, I'd be out right now if they didn't keep...
4:39pmTed
You're in the hospital!
You almost died of a drug overdose!
4:39pmBarney
Ted, seriously... they keep injecting me with this stuff
4:39pmTed
Dude, I just...
4:39pmBarney
Ted... Ted... focus.
*thinks*
4:40pmTed
Damn it, Barney..
4:40pmBarney
What? This place is enough to drive anyone crazy. Just want to see Robin, See James, GO HOME. That order
(maybe a scotch, a steak and a lapdance)
4:40pmTed
Ha.
4:40pmBarney
(and a REALLY long shower)
4:41pmTed
Why'd you take that stuff, Barney?
4:41pmBarney
Ted...
There was... it was... JESUS, I don't know. You don't know what..
There was all this STUFF.
James, and work and... Robin.
And I just HAD to keep going, you know?
Ted, you've got to believe that I never *meant*, I would NEVER...
4:43pmTed
I know, I KNOW you weren't trying to...
but
you have no idea how worried I've been about you.
not just because of this.
I've been watching you drive faster and faster for months and...
4:44pmBarney
(b the dubs, Star wars, just up to the Han/Greedo scene, thought you'd appreciate that bro)
4:44pmTed
this was like, the first time I actually realized you were hurting yourself.
Ha, great scene.
4:45pmBarney
(great scene bra)
Ted... *sighs* It's not like I don't know... I kinda... screwed up. Big time.
4:45pmTed
Yeah, you did.
4:45pmBarney
And...
Ted... I don't know... if it happened again...
4:46pmTed
Don't.
Don't even...
you CAN'T do this again. Period.
4:46pmBarney
Ted, I HATE this.
4:46pmTed
You got that?
I hate watching you go through this.
4:46pmBarney
But what do I do? How do I... got out of this?
Ted, I *want* to... I can't do this to you. Robin... she's *pretty* much giving up on me. James's life is completely destroyed. Your sister. Marshall,. Lily
You don't think I don't know what I've done?
4:47pmTed
Heather's fine.
4:47pmBarney
Ted I'd do ANYTHING...
4:47pmTed
And from what I hear, I've got you to thank for that.
4:47pmBarney
Well, that's something I guess
Please...
From what I hear it was all Marshall, Dude
4:48pmTed
That's not what he says.
4:48pmBarney
Bro, I spent the week mostly dead.
How do you think I did anything?
4:49pmTed
I don't know. But Marshall kept telling me that he didn't have the kind of clout at GNB to do anything for Heather, and that you did...
4:49pmBarney
hey,c my awesome reputation preceeds me.
4:49pmTed
And your Korean business contact was the one who ended up puling all the strings that we could see
4:49pmBarney
*can I help it if
Hey, it's just a good thing that your sis is okay
That's all that counts right?
4:50pmTed
Yeah, it's great that she's going to be all right.
4:50pmBarney
And you're okay? Ted?
4:50pmTed
I just want to make sure YOU"RE all right now.
4:50pmBarney
Bro, you should go back to NYC and be with her
She's gonna need you bro
4:50pmTed
You need me more.
4:50pmBarney
Ted, don't I look all right?
4:50pmTed
No.
4:50pmBarney
Ted, you're my bro. Of course I need you!
But she's a chick, dude. She evidently needs you more than I do
And hey, all I need is a suit and a shower and I'm ready to go
Seriously, I'm checking myself out. Right now.
*tries to get out of bed*
4:51pmTed
Lie back down, Barney.
4:52pmBarney
*bats his hands ineffectually at Ted*
Stop being such a woman!
4:52pmTed
Do I have to get the orderlies in here to restrain you? =)
4:52pmBarney
Jesus, no. Those dudes have wandering hands. Seriously
It's creepy
Ted, you don't play fair
4:52pmTed
Ugh, I bet.
It's part of my charm. =)
4:53pmBarney
Dude, that's true.
Boy, I saw a lot of strange stuff in the last couple'a days, Ted.
*holds head*
4:54pmTed
Parrots?
4:54pmBarney
This is, like, the worst hangover ever
4:54pmTed
Have we learned our lesson, then?
4:54pmBarney
Parrots... If I never see another parrot again, it'll be too soon.
4:54pmTed
That alcohol and illegal drugs don't go together?
4:54pmBarney
Yeah.
I'm too old for that shit
;-)
4:54pmTed
haha
4:55pmBarney
But I wouldn't say no to a scotch right now
Ted...
4:55pmTed
With the meds you're on, you probably shouldn't have one, though.
4:55pmBarney
Where's Robin?
4:55pmTed
Remember after the bus accident?
4:55pmBarney
Yeah... freakin' meds.
4:55pmTed
She's at James's. I'm chatting with her now.
4:55pmBarney
Can't forget the meds.
Right... you're chatting to her.
Does she hate me Ted?
4:56pmTed
No, she doesn't hate you.
She says she's on her way over now.
4:56pmBarney
Right...
Ted, I just want to... Just want to be HOME
4:57pmTed
I know, and we want you back home too
4:57pmBarney
But I need to be here for James, you know?
Ted, should I stay here for a while? In Cali?
4:57pmTed
yeah.
4:57pmBarney
Everything with James... he needs me
4:57pmTed
I don't... I don't know. Do you think you should stay here?
4:57pmBarney
I'm thinking... should I ask GNB...
Maybe a transfer?
4:58pmTed
What?
Transfer?
As in, move to Cali?
Dude..
4:58pmBarney
Ted... I can't just *abandon* James. He practically RAISED me. I owe him EVERYTHING. and he's lost everything
What am I supposed to do? Just bug out and leave him?
4:59pmTed
He hasn't lost *everything*.
He still has you.
And Sam, and his job here...
Talk to him? See what he needs.
But dude?
If you moved out here, we'd all miss you like crazy.
4:59pmBarney
Yeah, as soon as I can.
What Ted?
Ted, you know... you know I rag on you guys. But you're my best friend. I care about all of you. New York is my HOME, Dude.
But I'm torn in two here
5:01pmTed
I completely understand.
I've been feeling like that the past couple days myself.
5:01pmBarney
Ted, seriously. Heather.
5:01pmTed
I told you, you need me more than she does.
5:01pmBarney
Why are you even thinking about it
5:01pmTed
She's safe now, on her way home.
5:02pmBarney
Look at me? I'm *awesome*
5:02pmTed
I'm looking at you.
5:02pmBarney
*awesome*
And you can go home and tell they all the legendary Barney stories about how crazy I got in Cali. And...
*frowns*
God... Ted...
*rubs his temples*
5:04pmTed
This isn't going to be one of those stories we're going to tell later and be able to laugh about.
Robin's on her way up.
5:05pmBarney
Ted... When Robin gets here?
5:05pmTed
Yeah?
5:06pmBarney
Shit... I'm *scared* my hands are sweating! *rubs palms against the course cotton sheets*
Ted, she is actually gonna kill me isn't she?
5:06pmTed
It's okay.
5:06pmBarney
Christ! DOES SHE HAVE HER GUN?
5:06pmTed
No, she's not going to kill you!
5:06pmBarney
Shit... she's gonna kill me.
5:06pmTed
Well, yesterday she left her gun in the car when we came to see you.
Look, you didn't see her face yesterday.
She looked sort of...
...not like she wanted to kill you, that's for sure.
5:07pmBarney
Ted... ted... hide her gun. Seriously. This is Wendy the Waitress all over again! Check the room for anything sharp!!!
5:08pmTed
Dude, you're on suicide watch. I highly doubt there's anything sharp in here.
5:08pmBarney
*gulps*
("Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?")
Hehe. Great scene.
5:08pmTed
hehe.
GREAT. Scene.
5:09pmBarney
Ted... I think this whole suicide watch thing is a pile of crap. BUT...
5:09pmTed
but?
thee's a but?
5:09pmBarney
They kinda said they might not let me go... because...
They kind of said I might be a little bit...
Jesus...
I can't even SAY it
5:09pmTed
What?
The doctors have been really worried about the way you've been acting.
not just the medical stuff.
5:10pmBarney
They kept... throwing out all this shit. Bi-polar. Schitzoid. Freaking...
Ted, do I look like a lunatic?
Seriously?
5:10pmTed
No! Of course not.
5:10pmBarney
*sags with relief*
It's not like I'm trying to eat off my own hand or something
So, I occasionally miss a night's sleep. That's the JOB, dude. Or a really hot chick I'm banging. (What up). And so... if I occasionally drink a little bit too much.
We all do that.
It's not NUTS
5:11pmTed
Right.
But...
5:11pmBarney
Right? Right?
5:12pmTed
I still don't think you're completely all right.
5:12pmBarney
But WHAT Ted?
5:12pmTed
Have they done a psych eval on you at all?
Just asking... please don't flip out on me.
5:12pmBarney
Well, I just had my freakin' stomach pumped and they've been filling my veins with shit for two days apparently. Without ASKING me.
Ted... seriously. O#
I'm not going to flip out! WHY would I flip out!?!?
5:13pmTed
Stop flipping out! *holds up hands defensively*
5:13pmBarney
And yeah, they did about THREE stupid tests. Stupid fucking shrinks. It's not like I haven't been to a SHRINK before right?
*sags*
Ted, I'm sorry
5:13pmTed
Are you still seeing Dr. Grossbard?
It's okay, Barney.
5:14pmBarney
Dr Grossbard is kind of... mandatory. He comes as part of the package. GNB wouldn't allow me back to work unless I kept seeing him.
I didn't exactly broadcast the fact. I'm not nuts, Ted
5:14pmTed
I never said you were.
5:14pmBarney
They over-reacted to something...
Just everyone ELSE in the world is...
Jesus where is Robin?
5:15pmTed
I don't know... she said you texted her a second ago but now you're not responding?
I just messaged her asking her where she is
She's here. *looks in doorway*
Hey, Robin.
5:18pmBarney
Hey... Ted, can you give us..?
5:18pmTed
Oh, sure... see you guys later.
5:18pmBarney
Thanks dude.
5:18pmTed
No prob, buddy.
I'll be back, okay?
Simultaneously, Ted's chatting with Robin, asking her where she is:
4:53pmTed
Robin. Where are you right now?
4:54pmRobin
I'm still at James's-- are you at the hospital? Is he awake?
4:54pmTed
Yeah, I'm talking to him now.
4:55pmRobin
He's okay?
4:55pmTed
He's awake and lucid, at least.
He keeps saying he's okay, but he's still pretty frail.
He's asking for you.
4:56pmRobin
He is?
4:56pmTed
Yeah.
4:56pmRobin
I'm on my way.
4:56pmTed
see you soon then.
4:56pmRobin
Ted
4:57pmTed
what?
4:57pmRobin
Is--
Nothing.
He's okay, though?
He's talking?
4:57pmTed
no, what is it?
yeah
4:58pmRobin
Right. Okay. I'll be there soon.
5:02pmRobin
Where are you?
5:02pmTed
at the hospital, talking with Barney
5:03pmRobin
I'm in the entrance lobby... should I...?
5:03pmTed
Yes. Get your ass in here.
NOW.
5:03pmRobin
Ted, is everything okay?!
You're scaring me.
5:03pmTed
Yeah, he just needs to see you.
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
5:03pmRobin
(is he online?)
5:04pmTed
Yup. He's watching a movie on his iPhone.
5:04pmRobin
on my way up
5:04pmTed
good.
5:07pmRobin
hey
5:07pmTed
He wants to know if you're going to kill him.
5:07pmRobin
Kill him?
Maybe.
No.
5:07pmTed
Please don't.
5:07pmRobin
I'd rather hug him.
If he'll let me.
5:08pmTed
Good. That's how I feel, too.
...You don't have your gun, do you?
5:08pmRobin
Ted, I'm not going to kill him!
5:09pmTed
I'm just making sure!
5:09pmRobin
My gun is safely tucked away in the rental car.
5:09pmTed
Good.
5:10pmRobin
A minute ago he texted me, and now nothing.
5:15pmTed
Robin where ARE you?
5:15pmRobin
...in the stairwell.
5:15pmTed
Robin, get in here!
5:16pmRobin
*appears in doorway*
Hi.
Ted walked out to give them some privacy after that, so... hopefully either idioticonion or secondmezzanine is saving that chat!
Lastly (just because I find this extremely hilarious) one of Ted's random French friends IMed him (aka me) this morning, and after a little awkward chitchat between strangers, this happened:
8:15amSamuelle
so, you're a HIMYM fan too?
8:15amTed
what's HIMYM?
8:16amSamuelle
in your opinion? ;)
8:16amTed
huh?
No, like, what does that stand for?
8:17amSamuelle
How I met Your Mother
: HIMYM
8:17amTed
Is that some kind of reality show?
LIke, the Bachelor?
8:17amSamuelle
Exactly :)
8:17amTed
I don't think I've ever seen it.
8:18amSamuelle
it's the story of 5 new yorkers
8:19amTed
hmm... you mean, like Friends?
8:19amSamuelle
not really
in friends there is just..Comic
In HIMYM the boys and girls, are comic too, but there's something more
they look for the real love, and they look for themselves in the same time
8:21amTed
Oh... that sounds like a pretty interesting show.
I might have to check it out sometime...
8:21amSamuelle
:)
yes, you really have to ;)
8:21amTed
it's a good show, you'd say?
8:22amSamuelle
For me, yes
it help me to listen English
Oh, FBHIMYMRPG. *hugs the extremely long acronym*
I feel like I need to write some kind of Ted fic around all this DRAMA, but I have no idea where to start. He's got a lot going on.