DAMN YOU, FBHIMYMRPG, AND YOUR AWESOMENESS!!!!
Followup to the convo Barney and Robin had once Ted left the hospital room. You'll see.
Barney is excited out of his awesome mind that his big bro is coming home with him! Stinson & Stinson - too hot to handle. Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your pants!
7:13pmTed
How'd it go with you and Robin?
7:14pmBarney
Ted, seriously. Don't go there. REALLY don't go there.
Especailly when I have AWESOME NEWS
7:14pmTed
What??
7:15pmTed
Barney! What's the awesome news?!
7:17pmBarney
Well, it's half awesome
James and Tom broke up.
7:17pmTed
I know, I heard. I'm so sorry, Barney>
7:17pmBarney
James has got Sam and he's coming to live with me till he gets another place.
He was kind of scared to ask me. I was totally offended. Seriously, as if I wouldn't LOVE to have my brother stay with me?
7:18pmTed
Dude, that's awesome that he and Sam are staying with you!
You've totally got the room for them, you know?
7:19pmBarney
On a temporary - they can't mind how many chicks I bang - basis. And with James around to wingman me, I plan to out-do our record of last time.
*jumps up and down a little in bed* Ted, I can't WAIT to get back to NYC
This is gonna be... wait for it...
Say it with me Ted.
7:20pmTed
Haha, I cant wait until you come back either
7:20pmBarney
LEGENDARY!
7:20pmTed
Legendary?
LEGENDARY!
7:20pmBarney
Ted, it's gonna be LEGENDARY!!!
7:20pmTed
FUCK YEAH!!
7:20pmBarney
Me and James!?!? *grins like a loony*
7:21pmTed
That's awesome. =D
7:23pmBarney
Ted, don't think I've forgotten you. Seriously, Bro, we are getting you LAID dude.
7:23pmTed
Wait, does this mean we're going to have a Bro-fecta??
7:23pmBarney
You're coming out with me and James?
Singles style
You're coming out with me and James?
Leave Robin to her sleeping pills and lameness. Seriously, she'd hurting my head right now
7:24pmTed
Yeah, totally!
Sorry to hear that, bro
7:26pmTed
Look, if you don't want to tell me what you guys talked about, that's fine... but if this is something that's going to affect your health again, maybe it's better if you talk to someone about it
Barney is no longer online. The following was not sent:
not necessarily me if you don't want to (send as a message)
7:27pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney
stupid iphone not working
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:37pmTed
you there now?
7:37pmBarney
Yeah. Stupid iphone
Look, it's not that Robin and I talked
More like she randomly kissed me and then pretended she didn't.
(da_phoenix13's brain has a minor spaz attack.)
7:38pmTed
She did what?
7:38pmBarney
Honestly bro, I didn't do anythng! Please don't punch me in the groin
She randomly kissed me.
7:38pmTed
I wasn't going to!
7:38pmBarney
She said "I'm trying to seduce you into staying in NYC and that's not fair" or some such lame chick-nonsense.
And, seriously bro, she's crazy.
7:39pmTed
That's definitely, um... whoa.
7:39pmBarney
I swear, I did absolutely NOTHING. I was a perfect gentleman, even by MY standards
7:39pmTed
No, I believe you.
7:39pmBarney
You know, I think she's messing with my head. She MUST be doing this deliberately. It's cruel
7:40pmTed
She's been really worried about you and she was really happy to see you were all right...
maybe she just got carried away?
7:40pmBarney
Ted, chicks don't just get carried away by my good looks and charm and kiss me every da-
Oh, wait. Yeah they do.
High five!
7:40pmTed
*rolls eyes*
*high five*
7:41pmBarney
Hehe
But she's screwing me over. SO bad.
I wish she'd just... let me ALONE, you know?
If it's just a friends thing, then I guess I can deal. But if she's gonna go all hot-and-hungry on me?
Dude!
7:42pmTed
Yeah, that's... *shakes head* do you want me to talk to her?
7:43pmBarney
What would you say?>
"Robin, stop torturing Barney because he's lame and is crippled by pathetic FEELINGS for you"
Because, yeah, Do THAT. (not)
7:44pmTed
No, I wouldn't say that!
I wouldn't!
7:44pmBarney
Well, what would you say?
7:44pmTed
I don't know... I'd just try to get her side of it, I guess
but somehow let her tell me about it herself
7:45pmBarney
Her side of WHAT? Her side of randomly kissing me? This is ROBIN dude. She's never gonna open up to you. She's like a mirror. there's nothing goin' on underneath.
Jesus I wish there was Ted.
Because I am so in love with that woman that I literally want to throw up right now.
7:46pmTed
Dude, you know she's not like that.
7:46pmBarney
*digs knuckles into forehead*
7:46pmTed
*hugs*
7:46pmBarney
Ted, just because YOU got through to her and made you love her (okay, only for a year, but still, good going) doesn't mean she feels ANYTHING for me.
I'm not a blue french horn kind of guy
7:47pmTed
I don't think you have to be to get her.
I know she thought the blue string quartet was crazy.
Not to mention the rain thing.
7:47pmBarney
Dude, you totally made it rain. Awesome. *fist bump*
7:48pmTed
Yeah... *fist bump*
She still thinks that was a coincidence, though.
7:48pmBarney
But that's not the point. The point IS, that Robin's never gonna get it. And I can't handle her crawling all over me and getting all up in my personal space and then leaving me high and dry. Just. Can't. Do. It.
Right now, I'm not sure I wanna be alone with her again
and what does she know. The rain gods smiled on you Ted. they smiled on you.
7:49pmTed
Ha, yeah, *we* both know that, but she'll never see it that way.
Listen, if she starts to bother you again, let me know?
I'll... I don't know, be your backup.
Something.
7:51pmBarney
Ted, is it better if I... should I just back off from Robin for a while. She's... It just hurts too much. all the time. If I'm honest, Vegas was a LOT to do with that. Her.
7:51pmTed
Yeah... I got that a bit, to be honest.
7:51pmBarney
I wouldn't have gone to see James if it wasn't for her, seen Katherine Yu if it wasn't her if it wasn't for her
I wouldn't have been mostly dead for three days if it wasn't for Robin.
And I DID THIS TO MYSELF
It's not even her fault.
I can't keep doing this Ted.
I'm gonna end up killing myself. LITERALLY killing myself (don't you dare correct me, dude)
7:53pmTed
Based on what happened this weekend, I don't doubt that "literally" could probably apply here.
I have a thought, and it might be crazy, but...
would it be so terrible if you just...
I dont know...
let her know how you feel?
(Long, LONG angsty pause.)
7:56pmBarney
Ted... Jesus. Now suggest something sensible
So, scenario:
Me-> Robin "Robin I love you"
Robin - laughs
Robin - thinks it's a joke
Robin - hates me
Robin - never wants to speak to me again
how is this a good idea?
Ted, Robin doesn't have ANY feelings for me beyond friendship. She's said it so many times I think I just want her to change the recond.
7:57pmTed
Okay, I get that... but on the other hand, I told her I loved her after *one day*, and she didn't do any of that with me. She even agreed to see me again after that. We were together for a YEAR.
You she's known for *four years*.
And she knows you well enough that she won't laugh at you.
7:58pmBarney
Worse, she'll PITY me
7:58pmTed
As for how well she handles it? I can't say.
She won't do that.
7:58pmBarney
She. Doesn't. Like. Me. In . That. Way
She has said it, over and over.
Why do you think she does?!?! you know she doesn't? Why would I...
Ted, I'm tired. This thing... I'm scared.
But you can't tell Robin. Robin NEVER gets to know this, okay?
It's not her fault. It's mine.
I need to STOP being Robin's friend.
That's the only answer
7:59pmTed
That's not the only answer!
What do you think she's going to say if you suddenly stop talking to her?
You really think that's going to fix everything?
8:00pmBarney
I'm not going to "stop talking to her".
I'm just going to stop hanging out with her.
8:00pmTed
How is that any different?
8:01pmBarney
I'll treat her like... any othe random dude (not random chick because then I'd try and nail her and that would just be confusing)
8:01pmTed
Okay, fine, but if you stop hanging out with her, you're totally going to end up splitting the group.
Don't kill the group, dude.
8:01pmBarney
Ted, I hardly see her anyways. She's on that crazy weird schedule. I don't need to speak to her much
It'll be FINE.
8:02pmBarney
I need to stop following her around, staying up late with her until she goes to work, listening to her stupid god damn stories and supporting her and watching the way her hair bounces on her shoulders and how she laughs and how she smells and how she FEELS...
:-(
:-(
8:04pmBarney is offline.
8:05pmBarney is online.
8:05pmBarney
Dude, nurses. Want me to give them my iphone.
And sleep
And zzzz
Ted, talk in morning?
8:06pmTed
yeah definitely... I'll be back.
*hugs* Get some sleep, bro.
8:06pmBarney
love you bro.
Night night
8:06pmTed
love you too, Barney.
8:09pmBarney is offline.
*dies from awesomeness of the RP*
Barney is excited out of his awesome mind that his big bro is coming home with him! Stinson & Stinson - too hot to handle. Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your pants!
7:13pmTed
How'd it go with you and Robin?
7:14pmBarney
Ted, seriously. Don't go there. REALLY don't go there.
Especailly when I have AWESOME NEWS
7:14pmTed
What??
7:15pmTed
Barney! What's the awesome news?!
7:17pmBarney
Well, it's half awesome
James and Tom broke up.
7:17pmTed
I know, I heard. I'm so sorry, Barney>
7:17pmBarney
James has got Sam and he's coming to live with me till he gets another place.
He was kind of scared to ask me. I was totally offended. Seriously, as if I wouldn't LOVE to have my brother stay with me?
7:18pmTed
Dude, that's awesome that he and Sam are staying with you!
You've totally got the room for them, you know?
7:19pmBarney
On a temporary - they can't mind how many chicks I bang - basis. And with James around to wingman me, I plan to out-do our record of last time.
*jumps up and down a little in bed* Ted, I can't WAIT to get back to NYC
This is gonna be... wait for it...
Say it with me Ted.
7:20pmTed
Haha, I cant wait until you come back either
7:20pmBarney
LEGENDARY!
7:20pmTed
Legendary?
LEGENDARY!
7:20pmBarney
Ted, it's gonna be LEGENDARY!!!
7:20pmTed
FUCK YEAH!!
7:20pmBarney
Me and James!?!? *grins like a loony*
7:21pmTed
That's awesome. =D
7:23pmBarney
Ted, don't think I've forgotten you. Seriously, Bro, we are getting you LAID dude.
7:23pmTed
Wait, does this mean we're going to have a Bro-fecta??
7:23pmBarney
You're coming out with me and James?
Singles style
You're coming out with me and James?
Leave Robin to her sleeping pills and lameness. Seriously, she'd hurting my head right now
7:24pmTed
Yeah, totally!
Sorry to hear that, bro
7:26pmTed
Look, if you don't want to tell me what you guys talked about, that's fine... but if this is something that's going to affect your health again, maybe it's better if you talk to someone about it
Barney is no longer online. The following was not sent:
not necessarily me if you don't want to (send as a message)
7:27pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney is online.
7:35pmBarney
stupid iphone not working
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:36pmBarney is online.
7:37pmTed
you there now?
7:37pmBarney
Yeah. Stupid iphone
Look, it's not that Robin and I talked
More like she randomly kissed me and then pretended she didn't.
(da_phoenix13's brain has a minor spaz attack.)
7:38pmTed
She did what?
7:38pmBarney
Honestly bro, I didn't do anythng! Please don't punch me in the groin
She randomly kissed me.
7:38pmTed
I wasn't going to!
7:38pmBarney
She said "I'm trying to seduce you into staying in NYC and that's not fair" or some such lame chick-nonsense.
And, seriously bro, she's crazy.
7:39pmTed
That's definitely, um... whoa.
7:39pmBarney
I swear, I did absolutely NOTHING. I was a perfect gentleman, even by MY standards
7:39pmTed
No, I believe you.
7:39pmBarney
You know, I think she's messing with my head. She MUST be doing this deliberately. It's cruel
7:40pmTed
She's been really worried about you and she was really happy to see you were all right...
maybe she just got carried away?
7:40pmBarney
Ted, chicks don't just get carried away by my good looks and charm and kiss me every da-
Oh, wait. Yeah they do.
High five!
7:40pmTed
*rolls eyes*
*high five*
7:41pmBarney
Hehe
But she's screwing me over. SO bad.
I wish she'd just... let me ALONE, you know?
If it's just a friends thing, then I guess I can deal. But if she's gonna go all hot-and-hungry on me?
Dude!
7:42pmTed
Yeah, that's... *shakes head* do you want me to talk to her?
7:43pmBarney
What would you say?>
"Robin, stop torturing Barney because he's lame and is crippled by pathetic FEELINGS for you"
Because, yeah, Do THAT. (not)
7:44pmTed
No, I wouldn't say that!
I wouldn't!
7:44pmBarney
Well, what would you say?
7:44pmTed
I don't know... I'd just try to get her side of it, I guess
but somehow let her tell me about it herself
7:45pmBarney
Her side of WHAT? Her side of randomly kissing me? This is ROBIN dude. She's never gonna open up to you. She's like a mirror. there's nothing goin' on underneath.
Jesus I wish there was Ted.
Because I am so in love with that woman that I literally want to throw up right now.
7:46pmTed
Dude, you know she's not like that.
7:46pmBarney
*digs knuckles into forehead*
7:46pmTed
*hugs*
7:46pmBarney
Ted, just because YOU got through to her and made you love her (okay, only for a year, but still, good going) doesn't mean she feels ANYTHING for me.
I'm not a blue french horn kind of guy
7:47pmTed
I don't think you have to be to get her.
I know she thought the blue string quartet was crazy.
Not to mention the rain thing.
7:47pmBarney
Dude, you totally made it rain. Awesome. *fist bump*
7:48pmTed
Yeah... *fist bump*
She still thinks that was a coincidence, though.
7:48pmBarney
But that's not the point. The point IS, that Robin's never gonna get it. And I can't handle her crawling all over me and getting all up in my personal space and then leaving me high and dry. Just. Can't. Do. It.
Right now, I'm not sure I wanna be alone with her again
and what does she know. The rain gods smiled on you Ted. they smiled on you.
7:49pmTed
Ha, yeah, *we* both know that, but she'll never see it that way.
Listen, if she starts to bother you again, let me know?
I'll... I don't know, be your backup.
Something.
7:51pmBarney
Ted, is it better if I... should I just back off from Robin for a while. She's... It just hurts too much. all the time. If I'm honest, Vegas was a LOT to do with that. Her.
7:51pmTed
Yeah... I got that a bit, to be honest.
7:51pmBarney
I wouldn't have gone to see James if it wasn't for her, seen Katherine Yu if it wasn't her if it wasn't for her
I wouldn't have been mostly dead for three days if it wasn't for Robin.
And I DID THIS TO MYSELF
It's not even her fault.
I can't keep doing this Ted.
I'm gonna end up killing myself. LITERALLY killing myself (don't you dare correct me, dude)
7:53pmTed
Based on what happened this weekend, I don't doubt that "literally" could probably apply here.
I have a thought, and it might be crazy, but...
would it be so terrible if you just...
I dont know...
let her know how you feel?
(Long, LONG angsty pause.)
7:56pmBarney
Ted... Jesus. Now suggest something sensible
So, scenario:
Me-> Robin "Robin I love you"
Robin - laughs
Robin - thinks it's a joke
Robin - hates me
Robin - never wants to speak to me again
how is this a good idea?
Ted, Robin doesn't have ANY feelings for me beyond friendship. She's said it so many times I think I just want her to change the recond.
7:57pmTed
Okay, I get that... but on the other hand, I told her I loved her after *one day*, and she didn't do any of that with me. She even agreed to see me again after that. We were together for a YEAR.
You she's known for *four years*.
And she knows you well enough that she won't laugh at you.
7:58pmBarney
Worse, she'll PITY me
7:58pmTed
As for how well she handles it? I can't say.
She won't do that.
7:58pmBarney
She. Doesn't. Like. Me. In . That. Way
She has said it, over and over.
Why do you think she does?!?! you know she doesn't? Why would I...
Ted, I'm tired. This thing... I'm scared.
But you can't tell Robin. Robin NEVER gets to know this, okay?
It's not her fault. It's mine.
I need to STOP being Robin's friend.
That's the only answer
7:59pmTed
That's not the only answer!
What do you think she's going to say if you suddenly stop talking to her?
You really think that's going to fix everything?
8:00pmBarney
I'm not going to "stop talking to her".
I'm just going to stop hanging out with her.
8:00pmTed
How is that any different?
8:01pmBarney
I'll treat her like... any othe random dude (not random chick because then I'd try and nail her and that would just be confusing)
8:01pmTed
Okay, fine, but if you stop hanging out with her, you're totally going to end up splitting the group.
Don't kill the group, dude.
8:01pmBarney
Ted, I hardly see her anyways. She's on that crazy weird schedule. I don't need to speak to her much
It'll be FINE.
8:02pmBarney
I need to stop following her around, staying up late with her until she goes to work, listening to her stupid god damn stories and supporting her and watching the way her hair bounces on her shoulders and how she laughs and how she smells and how she FEELS...
:-(
:-(
8:04pmBarney is offline.
8:05pmBarney is online.
8:05pmBarney
Dude, nurses. Want me to give them my iphone.
And sleep
And zzzz
Ted, talk in morning?
8:06pmTed
yeah definitely... I'll be back.
*hugs* Get some sleep, bro.
8:06pmBarney
love you bro.
Night night
8:06pmTed
love you too, Barney.
8:09pmBarney is offline.
*dies from awesomeness of the RP*