FBHIMYMRPG: Robin and Ted's Excellent Adventure!
Or something. Hehehe.
The transcript really speaks for itself, but just in case: in the roleplay AU, Robin (the incredible edible secondmezzanine) and Ted (me) are in the hospital waiting room, going crazy waiting to hear something about Barney's condition. Awesomeness ensues.
12:25pmRobin
Ted
12:25pmTed
Robin. So you up for trying to see him?
12:26pmRobin
I definitely want to try it. But crap, Ted-- Channel 12's callling me and I've gotta run... take this call
(if you know what i mean)
12:26pmTed
yeah, okay.
12:26pmRobin
This could take... maybe an hour and a half?
12:26pmTed
seriously?
12:27pmRobin
Ted, they're threatening to fire me if i don't get back like NOW.
12:27pmTed
is there like some kind of big work crisis for you too??
12:27pmRobin
I didn't want to tell you
12:27pmTed
oh my god...
12:27pmRobin
but
12:27pmTed
Robin...
12:27pmRobin
I don't know what's worse, abandoning Barney or getting deported because I can't keep a job
12:27pmTed
I know, I know.
maybe you should... I don't know
talk to your work, try to calm them down
explain what's going on
12:28pmRobin
I just sent you an email... check when you can
12:29pmTed
okay I will.
12:38pmRobin
Okay Ted, I've gotta go sort this stuff out for Channel 12. Message me asap if anyone comes out with an update, kay?
12:38pmTed
ok, will do.
12:39pmRobin
okay-- see you in a bit
12:39pmTed
all right... good luck getting everything sorted out!
12:49pmRobin is offline.
3:59pmRobin
Ted?
4:00pmTed
Hey, Robin!
4:00pmRobin
hey
wow, so-- i can't believe i was gone that long. any news?
4:00pmTed
What's going on with your work?
No, nothing new.
havnen't seen James or any of the nurses to ask them anyway.
4:01pmRobin
Well, technically i wasn't supposed to take vacation time for six months
and i'm sort of blowing them off now
whatever
4:01pmTed
oh no -- really?
4:01pmRobin
Barney is more important.
4:01pmTed
Won't you lose your job?
4:01pmRobin
...
I don't know.
But what can I do?
4:02pmTed
I don't know. I'm probably the wrong person to ask... I keep wondering if I'm in the right place or not.
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing either.
4:02pmRobin
I know just the fact that you're here is going to make Barney feel better.
That is, IF THEY EVER LET US SEE HIM.
4:03pmTed
I know, right?!
Why won't they just let us in there?
4:03pmRobin
Seriously, I've got my handgun in the rental car. I'm thinking of putting a cap in somebody's ass.
4:03pmTed
PLease don't do that.
We don't need you getting arrested on top of everything else.
=)
4:03pmRobin
Maybe tell the nurses I've got a proposition that'll blow them away...
4:03pmTed
hehe
4:04pmRobin
I guess you're right.
arggh
4:04pmTed
handguns + hospitals = bad idea
4:04pmRobin
Dude, if you're going to play around with handguns, the hospital is the PERFECT place to be.
4:04pmTed
...I guess there is some logic to that...
4:04pmRobin
anywya
i talked to lily
4:04pmTed
yeah
what'd she say?
or what'd you talk about?
4:05pmRobin
Not much. Same old. She's worried and feels useless.
4:05pmTed
well, it's the same over here, so.
4:05pmRobin
That's what I told her. Apparently it makes no difference if you're 3,000 miles or just a waiting room away.
What's up with this room, anyway. It is DEPRESSING.
4:06pmTed
guess not.
I'm sick of reading People magazine.
I mean, newsweek.
4:06pmRobin
Ha. Nice.
I saw you reading about Britney, Ted.
Don't deny it.
4:06pmTed
was NOT.
...leave Britney alone!
4:07pmRobin
Ha.
It would certainly help if they had more than three issues.
4:07pmTed
yeah. Plus they're all from like a year ago.
4:07pmRobin
Yeah, thank god Britney's hair has grown out since then.
4:08pmTed
Yeah. Bald was a bad look for her back then.
You know, now she kind of reminds me of someone...
4:08pmRobin
Hmm. Me too. I can't think who though.
4:08pmTed
...Claudia?
4:09pmRobin
Claudia would NEVER shave her head.
4:09pmTed
I mean, with her hair grown out.
4:09pmTed
the way she looks now.
4:09pmRobin
Oh. Hmm. Maybe.
Speaking of Claudia... she's in turmoil, as usual
You'd think after the whole intervention thing she and Stu'd make more of an effort to get along.
4:10pmTed
yeah, I know, she was talking to me the other day about all the problems they're having
Honestly, I just don't buy that Stuart would start chasing after SI models.
(Or that he'd score with any of them...)
4:11pmRobin
I don't either. (Well, no, obviously not.)
Sounds like we're not getting the whole story.
4:11pmTed
yeah. Too bad Stu's not on Facebook!
4:11pmRobin
Yeah, where is that guy?
She told me she was enlisting Barney to make him jealous.
Guess that's not going to happen now...
4:12pmTed
yeah, guess not.
or not for a while, anyway.
4:12pmRobin
NO, TED. the correct answer is
"No, Robin, you're wrong. Barney is going to be hitting on married women for many, many years to come."
4:12pmTed
Right. That's what I meant to say. I think.
4:13pmRobin
Oh my god Ted. What is going ON back there?
I think he still has his phone, but i haven't heard form him
*from
4:13pmTed
last I heard he was sleeping.
it's good that he's finally getting some rest, don't you think?
4:13pmRobin
Yeah...
true.
4:13pmTed
that's the first step
4:13pmRobin
He said he hadn't slept since FRIDAY.
4:14pmTed
god.
I think they had to end up sedating him so he'd fall asleep.
4:14pmRobin
And laughed about it, of course
god, this is a nightmare
any news on Heather?
4:14pmTed
bragged about it a little, maybe?
no.
4:14pmRobin
Yeah, a little.
4:14pmTed
tried calling Marshall, left him a message but he hasn't called me back.
4:14pmRobin
Way to go, Barney. Top idiot honors. *rolls eyes*
Maybe no news is good news. Same with Barney. I don't see HOW, but...
4:15pmTed
I talked to Mary though, and she gave us some South Korean contact name that Marshall might be able to use as a lead.
4:15pmRobin
Oh, that's great!
4:15pmTed
"No news is god news..." that's such a bullshit phrase.
*good
4:15pmRobin
I know. :(
4:15pmTed
Like, just because you're not hearing anything doesn't mean everything's all right.
things could have gotten worse.
or better.
or the same.
it should be "no news is no news."
but that's an even stupider phrase.
4:16pmRobin
You're right.
Well...
true.
Maybe we're being stupid
sitting here just wondering
What can we DO?
4:17pmTed
I don't know, Robin.
We need to find some way to sneak back there and find stuff out for ourselves.
or something.
4:17pmRobin
Is that door there locked?
Have you tried it?
4:17pmTed
let me go...
4:18pmRobin
Kay.
4:18pmTed
it's unlocked, but it says authorized personnel only...
aw, fuck it. Let's go.
4:18pmRobin
Seriously?
4:18pmTed
yeah
4:18pmRobin
Oh-- okay
let's do it.
Ted?
This is creepy.
4:19pmTed
yeah?
I know.
4:19pmRobin
I feel like a criminal.
4:19pmTed
heeeeeee
4:19pmRobin
maybe I should go get my gun.
4:19pmTed
I kind of like it
maybe you should
4:19pmRobin
You think you're a little like James Bond, don't you.
Seriously? Because I'll run right out and grab it.
4:20pmTed
Well, I don't have a tux, but yeah, I do. ^_^
4:20pmRobin
James Bond don't need no tux to be awesome.
4:20pmTed
well, then why does he always wear one in the movies?
...Do you think Barney has a James Bond complex?
4:20pmRobin
I just have a feeling. I mean, you think he puts on tux-jamas when he goes to bed?
You mean that's why Barney wears suits 24/7? Like he won't be awesome if he doesn't.
4:21pmTed
I know they're silk pjs... don't know about tux-jamas.
4:21pmRobin
Okay seriously-- this is the longest hallway ever. And where IS everyone?
4:21pmTed
yeah. I don't know, it just occurred to me.
4:21pmRobin
I repeat: creepy.
4:21pmTed
They're all out for coffee?
at the same time?
yeah...
4:22pmRobin
Hey, that door's marked Private.
4:22pmTed
there's no name on the outside... you think Barney's in there?
4:22pmRobin
*peers through the frosted glass* I can't see a thing. you hear anything?
4:23pmTed
*listens* No.
4:23pmRobin
Crap. Should we have waited for James? Where is that guy, anyway?
4:23pmTed
I thought he was in the room with Barney, wherever that is
4:24pm
Robin Operation: Ted and Robin Take Matters Into Their Own Hands is a go.
4:24pmRobin
Oh. Of course. Family only.
Okay, so. We have to knock down this door, clearly.
4:24pmTed
right. You want to kick it down?
4:24pmRobin
Not in these shoes.
4:24pmTed
wuss.
4:24pmRobin
You have any... tools or anything?
Shut up.
4:25pmTed
No... just my Swiss army knife
ooh, which has a lockpick!
no wait... that's a toothpick.
4:25pmRobin
Ted Evelyn Mosby! Since when do you have a Swiss Army knife?!
4:25pmTed
THAT'S the lockpick!
Um, since I was a Webelo.
4:25pmRobin
Ted, those are tweezers.
4:26pmTed
crap. you're right.
4:26pmRobin
Tell me honestly-- did you ever move past Webelo?
4:26pmTed
Oh, like YOU made it past Brownies?
4:26pmRobin
Okay, I hear ya.
4:26pmTed
I think I hear someone coming!
4:26pmRobin
Crap!
Quick, make out with me!
4:27pmTed
What? NO!
Let's dive behind the nurse's station!
4:27pmRobin
Ted! That's what they do in the movies!
Oh. i guess we could do that.
4:27pmTed
WE'RE NOT IN THE MOVES, ROBIN!
4:27pmRobin
SAYS THE GUY WHO THINKS HE'S JAMES BOND!
All right, fine.
*scrambles*
4:27pmTed
*dives*
4:28pmRobin
*whispering* Okay, one question.
4:28pmTed
*whisper* What?
4:28pmRobin
What if the person coming is a nurse?!
4:28pmTed
Look and see if it is
4:28pmRobin
Me?!
4:28pmTed
Well you lost the nose game!
*touch nose*
4:29pmRobin
The nose game?
DAMN IT
Fine
Sshhh.
*gets up, peeks over counter*
*footsteps coming closer*
*a few voices*
Crap. Get down.
It's a nurse and a doctor.
4:29pmTed
I'm down!
what are they saying?
4:30pmRobin
Scooch over!
4:30pmTed
*scooch*
4:30pmRobin
("...that sleep deprived... cocktail of drugs...")
Are they talking about Barney?
4:30pmTed
I don't know...
I think so?
4:30pmRobin
Shit, they're coming.
4:30pmTed
fuck
4:31pmRobin
(..."brother went to call his family"...)
MAKE OUT WITH ME!
4:31pmTed
why??
4:31pmRobin
Because they're coming! Ted! We're going to get in so much trouble
4:32pmTed
ummm... uh...
THINKING ON MY FEET ISNOT MY STRONG SUIT.
4:32pmRobin
"EXCUSE ME. Can we help you?"
Crrrrrrap.
4:32pmTed
Um... hello!
4:32pmRobin
*a man and a woman standing over them*
4:32pmTed
*grins*
4:32pmRobin
Uh, hi there.
4:33pmTed
"This is a restricted area."
4:33pmRobin
*looks to Ted for inspirational speech*
Uh...
4:33pmTed
RUN!
*sprints*
4:33pmRobin
*runs*
Oh god. i am SO deported.
4:34pmTed
no. no way.
4:34pmRobin
*breathing hard* where the hell are we going?
4:34pmTed
I... don't... know...
*bursts through double doors*
4:34pmRobin
*looks behind her. no one following*
you think they're calling security on us?
4:34pmTed
God I hope not...
4:35pmRobin
*shuts doors behind them*
Okay, whatever we do now, we better do it fast.
4:35pmTed
Ok... I think... we're okay.
What are we supposed to do now, Robin?!
4:35pmRobin
What makes you think that?! Dude. We just RAN FROM THE GROWN-UPS.
4:35pmTed
Well, they're not following us!
This is like... base, or something!
4:36pmRobin
BASE?
oh my god.
4:36pmTed
like in tag!
4:36pmRobin
Okay, let's go... this way.
4:36pmTed
Which way is that?
like, where's it go?
4:36pmRobin
Okay, let's just stop in this women's restroom and make a plan.
4:36pmTed
I'm not going into the women's restroom.
4:37pmRobin
TED!
4:37pmTed
Okaaaaaaay!
4:37pmRobin
You're being a girl.
Okay good
4:37pmTed
shut up.
4:37pmRobin
*pulls him into the bathroom*
4:37pmTed
...It's so... /pink/... in here.
4:37pmRobin
*sits on loveseat*
*sighs with relief*
4:37pmTed
Why the HELL do you get loveseats in your bathrooms?
4:38pmRobin
No time, Ted.
Okay
when we find Barney
4:38pmTed
yeah?
4:38pmRobin
we're going to need some kind of excuse for being there.
I mean
4:38pmTed
right.
4:38pmRobin
for how we got there
Any ideas?
4:38pmTed
I say we pose as his long-lost siblings, since they'reonly letting family in.
4:38pmRobin
Clearly you're opposed to us just looking for a place to make out.
Oh. Hey. That's not bad.
4:39pmTed
Um, seriously, why are you so fixated on making out with me?
I'm not really that kissable right now.
My hair's a mess, for one thing...
not the point of this discussion.
4:39pmRobin
Okay, Ted? I didn't want to make out with you for your hair.
In fact, I'd rather not make out with you at all.
4:39pmTed
Then why do you keep suggesting it?
4:40pmRobin
IT'S FOR BARNEY, OKAY? God.
4:40pmTed
Okay...
so. right.
the plan.
4:40pmRobin
I just figure, you don't walk up to people and start questioning them in the middle of a makeout session.
right. the plan.
Long lost brother and sister?
4:40pmTed
actually, I think they'd still ask us what we were doing there.
obviously.
we'll get James to vouch for us, you think?
4:41pmRobin
So then we say... "Uh, we're his brother and sister."
4:41pmTed
Right.
4:41pmRobin
Yeah! Think he's got his phone on now? we could message him
4:41pmTed
Yeah, I'll text him now.
4:41pmRobin
Good plan.
Do you hear footsteps?
4:41pmTed
Okay, so what are our names?
4:42pmRobin
Um... Ted and Robin?
Do we need code names?
4:42pmTed
What, no cool aliases?\
I don't know. Maybe.
4:42pmRobin
You're right. Barney and Marshall would definitely say go for the aliases.
Okay, I DEFINITELY hear footsteps. Get in a stall
4:42pmTed
Crap, not again!
*hides in stall*
4:43pmRobin
*hides too*
okay, let's just keep our voices down
4:43pmTed
*whispers* why do you need to hide? you're a woman in the women's restroom!
4:43pmRobin
*thinks about that* Oh.
Good point.
4:44pmTed
well, whatever. just stay there until she leaves.
4:44pmRobin
Okay.
So.
Code names?
How about "Little Webelo Mosby" for you and your lil pocketknife.
4:45pmTed
I will be... Sean Connery.
who names their kid "Little Webelo"??
LIke, the names we tell the hospital people
4:45pmRobin
Ted. Please. You cannot pull off "Sean Connery."
4:45pmTed
to explain who we are
Um, I SO can.
4:45pmRobin
Ted.
Come on.
4:46pmTed
Fine, but I'm not going by "Little Webelo" either.
What's YOUR brilliant idea for a code name.
?
4:46pmRobin
Um...
4:47pmTed
You can be... Alanis.
4:47pmRobin
No way.
4:47pmTed
Well, unless you have a better idea...
4:48pmRobin
brb
How about Diane Sawyer?
4:49pmTed
Can I still be Sean Connery?
4:49pmRobin
*sigh* Fine.
4:49pmTed
Yes! *fist pump*
4:49pmRobin
*fist bumps back* Okay. So. Code names, check.
4:50pmTed
right.
4:50pmRobin
Shall we?
4:50pmTed
wait, we still dont' know where he is!
hang on...
james just texted me... he's in room 4815.
4:51pmRobin
Oh, man, I could kiss James
4:51pmTed
What is with you and kissing lately?
And I don't think Tom'd appreciate that. =D
4:52pmRobin
I don't know. Apparently I haven't kissed anyone in awhile. Whatever. Shut up. Let's go
4:52pmTed
haha, okay. CHeck to see if the coast is clear?
4:53pmRobin
Dude, why do I always have to check?
4:53pmTed
Well, this time you're checking because I'm not supposed to be in the women's restroom to begin with
4:53pmRobin
Good point.
*opens door, looks left to right*
we're go.
4:53pmTed
the first time I was just being bossy. =)
awesome.
4:53pmRobin
*sneaks into hallway*
4:54pmTed
*tiptoes behind*
*hums James Bond theme*
4:54pmRobin
Sshh!
4:54pmTed
sorry.
4:54pmRobin
Actually that's kind of motivating.
4:54pmTed
I know, right?
the James Bond theme solves all problems.
almost.
4:54pmRobin
Damn, I really wish I had my S&W 58!
I could be bursting around doorways and stuff with it
4:55pmTed
why didn't you go get it before we broke in here?
you siad you were gonna!
4:55pmRobin
You told me not to!
4:55pmTed
oh yeah.
4:55pmRobin
What's the room number again?
4:55pmTed
4815
...16 ...23...42...
*keeps repeating numbers*
4:56pmRobin
Yeah *got* it, Ted.
4:56pmTed
heh.
But seriously, what is UP with those Numbers on Lost?
4:57pmRobin
4811... 4813...
4:57pmTed
here it is.
4:57pmRobin
I don't know. you DID double check the TiVo before you left, right?
4:57pmTed
for the final time, YES.
4:57pmRobin
Just checking.
4:57pmTed
All our shows should be recording right now.
4:57pmRobin
So... *peers through tiny glass window*
4:57pmTed
you see him?
4:58pmRobin
No.I can't see anything
It's sort of dark in there
Take a look.
4:58pmTed
*peeks* I guess the lights are off because he's sleeping?
*jiggles door handle*
It's unlocked.
*opens*
4:59pmRobin
*follows*
4:59pmTed
oh god... Robin...
did he really look that bad yesterday?
4:59pmRobin
*can't say anything, just stares*
5:00pmTed
he's got all those machines hooked up to him...
5:00pmRobin
he looks so...
5:00pmTed
*beep* *beep* *beep*
I know...
Do you think he can hear us?
5:00pmRobin
Is he okay, do you think?
*walks to the other side of his bed*
I don't know. Maybe?
5:00pmTed
I don't...
Barney?
You in there, bro?
*moves closer*
5:01pmRobin
*barney doesn't move*
Barney?
Give him a fist bump.
5:02pmTed
*holds out fist*
5:02pmRobin
What, are you afraid to touch him?
5:02pmTed
Come on, dude. Article 107... don't lave me hanging...
What, are YOU?
*lowers fist*
5:02pmRobin
No! Of course not. No.
5:03pmTed
Prove it.
5:03pmRobin
Fine. *moves to touch Barney's hand*
Okay, maybe.
He just looks like he's going to break.
5:03pmTed
Yeah...
*slips Barney's hand into his*
5:04pmRobin
*meets Ted's eyes, looks away*
*takes barney's other hand*
So...
Talk to him.
5:05pmTed
*clears throat*
Hey, Barney, it's me...
Told you I was coming to see you.
5:05pmRobin
*holds Barny's hand tighter*
5:06pmTed
I couldn't...
*throat's too tight to speak*
5:06pmRobin
*sees this* Barney, it's me...
Robin.
I'm really...
5:06pmTed
*looks at Robin*
5:06pmRobin
Sorry.
About yesterday.
5:07pmTed
*smiles, turns back to Barney*
5:07pmRobin
And...
yeah.
5:07pmTed
Listen, dude...
we're all pulling for you. Okay?
Don't... don't quit on us now.
5:08pmRobin
*beep* *beep* *beep* God, these machines...
5:08pmTed
There's too many of them
James told me...
he said that...
5:08pmRobin
What?
Ted, what?
5:08pmTed
that Barney should have been dead.
5:08pmRobin
*opens her mouth to say something*
*looks away*
5:08pmTed
that he shouldn't have survived what happened yesterday.
5:09pmRobin
yesterday shouldn't have happened at all.
5:09pmTed
*swallows hard*
But it did.
5:09pmRobin
*tearing up* Barney, I'm so sorry...
I should have...
5:09pmTed
I don't think you could have stopped him.
5:10pmRobin
Maybe we all could have, Ted.
5:10pmTed
Yeah.
Maybe.
5:11pmRobin
Barney?
I guess we shouldn't try to wake him up, huh.
5:11pmTed
Why, what were you going to do?
5:12pmRobin
Nothing! I wasn't going to do anything.
5:12pmTed
Yes you were.
5:13pmRobin
No I wasn't.
*lets go of Barney's hand*
5:13pmTed
Robin...
5:13pmRobin
*steps backward and hits a machine* damn it.
5:14pmTed
Robin, don't run away NOW.
5:14pmRobin
*looks sharply at Ted* I'm not running away. I'm here, aren't I? I'm fucking Diane Sawyer.
5:16pmTed
...I think I hear footsteps again.
5:16pmRobin
Shit.
So... we stand our ground?
5:16pmTed
Absolutely.
5:16pmRobin
Okay. *slowly steps forward, takes Barney's hand again*
5:16pmTed
*nurse enters*
5:17pmRobin
*freezes*
5:17pmTed
"Who are you two?"
5:17pmRobin
We're--
5:17pmTed
I'm... I'm his brother.
Ted.
*looks at Robin*
5:18pmRobin
So am I. Sister. I mean.
We're his brother and sister!
5:19pmTed
*nurse* "I see." *smiles*
5:19pmRobin
heh... heh. Yep. *smiles a little*
5:19pmTed
"I need to check your brother's vitals, so if you wouldn't mind taking a step back...?"
5:19pmRobin
Oh
5:20pmTed
*gently lowers Barney's hand and releases it*
5:20pmRobin
*begrudgingly steps back*
5:20pmTed
*steps back*
5:20pmRobin
So um... can he hear us?
5:21pmTed
"Well, some people like to think that unconscious people can still hear what's going on around them."
5:22pmRobin
Okay.
He's okay, right?
5:22pmTed
"We don't really have any way to know forsure, though."
5:22pmRobin
Oh.
Right. Of course.
*barney snores slightly*
5:22pmTed
"The doctors think he'll be fine once he recovers."
*Ted smiles slightly at Barney*
5:22pmRobin
Right. So he's GOING to recover.
Because he looks...
5:23pmTed
*nurse* "We're very optimistic."
5:24pmRobin
G... good.
5:24pmTed
Yeah, optimistic is... good.
5:25pmRobin
Very good. *nurse steps aside, makes notes on chart*
*robin moves forward, takes his hand again*
5:25pmTed
*Ted grabs Barney's other hand again*
*nurse* "All done... I'll let you two continue your visit." *leaves*
5:26pmRobin
*looks at Ted*
God, Ted... thank god.
5:26pmTed
Yeah...
She totally bought it. *grins*
5:26pmRobin
*smiles* Check THAT out, Barney. Undercover five!
5:26pmTed
*Barney doesn't respond*
*Ted grips his hand tighter in both of his*
5:27pmRobin
*smile falters a little*
5:27pmTed
It's okay, Robin.
he's going to be okay.
5:27pmRobin
Yeah. Well... Sean Connery and Diane Sawyer to the rescue.
5:27pmTed
Haha. yeah.
5:27pmRobin
*laughs bitterly* Right. I am so far from Diane Sawyer...
5:28pmTed
You'll get there one day.
5:28pmRobin
Yeah well. I'm closer to her than you are James Bond.
5:28pmTed
....
...Yeah, that's kind of true.
5:28pmRobin
Ted. C'mon.
Thank you.
5:28pmTed
I could be the Jeopardy Sean Connery?
5:29pmRobin
Ha. Boobs.
*beepbeep beepbepp*
Oh dear lord.
5:29pmTed
no, tht's not really me either. that's more Barney.
5:29pmRobin
THAT, he reacts to?
5:29pmTed
What's happening?!
5:29pmRobin
I think it was when I said boobs.
5:29pmTed
hahaha... you would, Barney.
5:29pmRobin
*laughs*
Crap. My phones buzzing.
5:30pmTed
Who is it?
5:30pmRobin
I canNOT believe this. I just spent two hours on the phone with them...
*shoves phone back in her pocket*
5:30pmTed
oh no... work again?
5:30pmRobin
Yeah. They're just-- whatever.
It's not like I have a choice, you know?
Look at him, Ted.
5:31pmTed
You know, Barney did get that job for you... I don't know if he'd want you to lose it over him or not.
*looks at Barney* No... you're right.
5:31pmRobin
Ted...
Thank you.
I can find another job. I can do it fast.
5:31pmTed
okay.
5:32pmRobin
*barney makes a sound*
5:32pmTed
Barney?
5:32pmRobin
*his eyelids flutter*
Barney?!
5:33pmTed
Buddy? you awake in there?
5:33pmRobin
*barney* "Ted."
5:33pmTed
Hey, dude, how're you feeling?
5:33pmRobin
*his eyes stay shut*
5:33pmTed
*squeezes his hand*
5:34pmRobin
"bro."
5:34pmTed
*smiles* Told you I was coming here.
5:34pmRobin
*he half-smiles, his eyes still shut*
"Get..."
Get what, Barney? You thirsty?
"Get your ass back to work, Scherbatsky."
*his eyes stay shut*
5:35pmTed
*looks back and forth between them*
5:36pmRobin
Damn it, Barney. Quit being a tool.
5:36pmTed
Barney...
5:36pmRobin
I'm staying.
5:36pmTed
*mouths* Good for you.
5:36pmRobin
*smiles at Ted*
"get. ass... back... work..."
5:37pmTed
Barney, do you really expect her to go back to work when you're lying here like this?
5:37pmRobin
Barney...
Bar... Barney?
Is he asleep again?
5:38pmTed
Dunno... Barney?
5:38pmRobin
"deported. stupid."
*lets go of his hand*
Let's let him sleep.
5:38pmTed
Robin...
5:39pmRobin
Maybe I should go find James.
5:39pmTed
Oh... okay.
5:39pmRobin
Yeah, I'm just... I'm gonna go find him. And I should probably call work. *laughs* They've probably left, like... sixteen...
Ow. Stupid... chair...
5:40pmTed
*just nods slowly, watching her back out*
5:40pmRobin
Right-- so-- you'll be here?
*pulls phone out of her pocket*
5:41pmTed
Yeah... or, I said I'd call Lily and Marshall at 6, so... I'll stay until then.
5:41pmRobin
Okay.
*smiles brightly*
5:41pmTed
*smiles weakly*
5:41pmRobin
So... later, Barney. Bro. Heh.
Hey
Good job, Mr. Bond.
5:42pmTed
You too, Ms. Sawyer.
Barney: "wuzzat all about?"
Eh, don't worry about it.
5:42pmRobin
Right. *takes one last look at Barney*
*walks out*
5:43pmTed
*sighs*
The transcript really speaks for itself, but just in case: in the roleplay AU, Robin (the incredible edible secondmezzanine) and Ted (me) are in the hospital waiting room, going crazy waiting to hear something about Barney's condition. Awesomeness ensues.
12:25pmRobin
Ted
12:25pmTed
Robin. So you up for trying to see him?
12:26pmRobin
I definitely want to try it. But crap, Ted-- Channel 12's callling me and I've gotta run... take this call
(if you know what i mean)
12:26pmTed
yeah, okay.
12:26pmRobin
This could take... maybe an hour and a half?
12:26pmTed
seriously?
12:27pmRobin
Ted, they're threatening to fire me if i don't get back like NOW.
12:27pmTed
is there like some kind of big work crisis for you too??
12:27pmRobin
I didn't want to tell you
12:27pmTed
oh my god...
12:27pmRobin
but
12:27pmTed
Robin...
12:27pmRobin
I don't know what's worse, abandoning Barney or getting deported because I can't keep a job
12:27pmTed
I know, I know.
maybe you should... I don't know
talk to your work, try to calm them down
explain what's going on
12:28pmRobin
I just sent you an email... check when you can
12:29pmTed
okay I will.
12:38pmRobin
Okay Ted, I've gotta go sort this stuff out for Channel 12. Message me asap if anyone comes out with an update, kay?
12:38pmTed
ok, will do.
12:39pmRobin
okay-- see you in a bit
12:39pmTed
all right... good luck getting everything sorted out!
12:49pmRobin is offline.
3:59pmRobin
Ted?
4:00pmTed
Hey, Robin!
4:00pmRobin
hey
wow, so-- i can't believe i was gone that long. any news?
4:00pmTed
What's going on with your work?
No, nothing new.
havnen't seen James or any of the nurses to ask them anyway.
4:01pmRobin
Well, technically i wasn't supposed to take vacation time for six months
and i'm sort of blowing them off now
whatever
4:01pmTed
oh no -- really?
4:01pmRobin
Barney is more important.
4:01pmTed
Won't you lose your job?
4:01pmRobin
...
I don't know.
But what can I do?
4:02pmTed
I don't know. I'm probably the wrong person to ask... I keep wondering if I'm in the right place or not.
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing either.
4:02pmRobin
I know just the fact that you're here is going to make Barney feel better.
That is, IF THEY EVER LET US SEE HIM.
4:03pmTed
I know, right?!
Why won't they just let us in there?
4:03pmRobin
Seriously, I've got my handgun in the rental car. I'm thinking of putting a cap in somebody's ass.
4:03pmTed
PLease don't do that.
We don't need you getting arrested on top of everything else.
=)
4:03pmRobin
Maybe tell the nurses I've got a proposition that'll blow them away...
4:03pmTed
hehe
4:04pmRobin
I guess you're right.
arggh
4:04pmTed
handguns + hospitals = bad idea
4:04pmRobin
Dude, if you're going to play around with handguns, the hospital is the PERFECT place to be.
4:04pmTed
...I guess there is some logic to that...
4:04pmRobin
anywya
i talked to lily
4:04pmTed
yeah
what'd she say?
or what'd you talk about?
4:05pmRobin
Not much. Same old. She's worried and feels useless.
4:05pmTed
well, it's the same over here, so.
4:05pmRobin
That's what I told her. Apparently it makes no difference if you're 3,000 miles or just a waiting room away.
What's up with this room, anyway. It is DEPRESSING.
4:06pmTed
guess not.
I'm sick of reading People magazine.
I mean, newsweek.
4:06pmRobin
Ha. Nice.
I saw you reading about Britney, Ted.
Don't deny it.
4:06pmTed
was NOT.
...leave Britney alone!
4:07pmRobin
Ha.
It would certainly help if they had more than three issues.
4:07pmTed
yeah. Plus they're all from like a year ago.
4:07pmRobin
Yeah, thank god Britney's hair has grown out since then.
4:08pmTed
Yeah. Bald was a bad look for her back then.
You know, now she kind of reminds me of someone...
4:08pmRobin
Hmm. Me too. I can't think who though.
4:08pmTed
...Claudia?
4:09pmRobin
Claudia would NEVER shave her head.
4:09pmTed
I mean, with her hair grown out.
4:09pmTed
the way she looks now.
4:09pmRobin
Oh. Hmm. Maybe.
Speaking of Claudia... she's in turmoil, as usual
You'd think after the whole intervention thing she and Stu'd make more of an effort to get along.
4:10pmTed
yeah, I know, she was talking to me the other day about all the problems they're having
Honestly, I just don't buy that Stuart would start chasing after SI models.
(Or that he'd score with any of them...)
4:11pmRobin
I don't either. (Well, no, obviously not.)
Sounds like we're not getting the whole story.
4:11pmTed
yeah. Too bad Stu's not on Facebook!
4:11pmRobin
Yeah, where is that guy?
She told me she was enlisting Barney to make him jealous.
Guess that's not going to happen now...
4:12pmTed
yeah, guess not.
or not for a while, anyway.
4:12pmRobin
NO, TED. the correct answer is
"No, Robin, you're wrong. Barney is going to be hitting on married women for many, many years to come."
4:12pmTed
Right. That's what I meant to say. I think.
4:13pmRobin
Oh my god Ted. What is going ON back there?
I think he still has his phone, but i haven't heard form him
*from
4:13pmTed
last I heard he was sleeping.
it's good that he's finally getting some rest, don't you think?
4:13pmRobin
Yeah...
true.
4:13pmTed
that's the first step
4:13pmRobin
He said he hadn't slept since FRIDAY.
4:14pmTed
god.
I think they had to end up sedating him so he'd fall asleep.
4:14pmRobin
And laughed about it, of course
god, this is a nightmare
any news on Heather?
4:14pmTed
bragged about it a little, maybe?
no.
4:14pmRobin
Yeah, a little.
4:14pmTed
tried calling Marshall, left him a message but he hasn't called me back.
4:14pmRobin
Way to go, Barney. Top idiot honors. *rolls eyes*
Maybe no news is good news. Same with Barney. I don't see HOW, but...
4:15pmTed
I talked to Mary though, and she gave us some South Korean contact name that Marshall might be able to use as a lead.
4:15pmRobin
Oh, that's great!
4:15pmTed
"No news is god news..." that's such a bullshit phrase.
*good
4:15pmRobin
I know. :(
4:15pmTed
Like, just because you're not hearing anything doesn't mean everything's all right.
things could have gotten worse.
or better.
or the same.
it should be "no news is no news."
but that's an even stupider phrase.
4:16pmRobin
You're right.
Well...
true.
Maybe we're being stupid
sitting here just wondering
What can we DO?
4:17pmTed
I don't know, Robin.
We need to find some way to sneak back there and find stuff out for ourselves.
or something.
4:17pmRobin
Is that door there locked?
Have you tried it?
4:17pmTed
let me go...
4:18pmRobin
Kay.
4:18pmTed
it's unlocked, but it says authorized personnel only...
aw, fuck it. Let's go.
4:18pmRobin
Seriously?
4:18pmTed
yeah
4:18pmRobin
Oh-- okay
let's do it.
Ted?
This is creepy.
4:19pmTed
yeah?
I know.
4:19pmRobin
I feel like a criminal.
4:19pmTed
heeeeeee
4:19pmRobin
maybe I should go get my gun.
4:19pmTed
I kind of like it
maybe you should
4:19pmRobin
You think you're a little like James Bond, don't you.
Seriously? Because I'll run right out and grab it.
4:20pmTed
Well, I don't have a tux, but yeah, I do. ^_^
4:20pmRobin
James Bond don't need no tux to be awesome.
4:20pmTed
well, then why does he always wear one in the movies?
...Do you think Barney has a James Bond complex?
4:20pmRobin
I just have a feeling. I mean, you think he puts on tux-jamas when he goes to bed?
You mean that's why Barney wears suits 24/7? Like he won't be awesome if he doesn't.
4:21pmTed
I know they're silk pjs... don't know about tux-jamas.
4:21pmRobin
Okay seriously-- this is the longest hallway ever. And where IS everyone?
4:21pmTed
yeah. I don't know, it just occurred to me.
4:21pmRobin
I repeat: creepy.
4:21pmTed
They're all out for coffee?
at the same time?
yeah...
4:22pmRobin
Hey, that door's marked Private.
4:22pmTed
there's no name on the outside... you think Barney's in there?
4:22pmRobin
*peers through the frosted glass* I can't see a thing. you hear anything?
4:23pmTed
*listens* No.
4:23pmRobin
Crap. Should we have waited for James? Where is that guy, anyway?
4:23pmTed
I thought he was in the room with Barney, wherever that is
4:24pm
Robin Operation: Ted and Robin Take Matters Into Their Own Hands is a go.
4:24pmRobin
Oh. Of course. Family only.
Okay, so. We have to knock down this door, clearly.
4:24pmTed
right. You want to kick it down?
4:24pmRobin
Not in these shoes.
4:24pmTed
wuss.
4:24pmRobin
You have any... tools or anything?
Shut up.
4:25pmTed
No... just my Swiss army knife
ooh, which has a lockpick!
no wait... that's a toothpick.
4:25pmRobin
Ted Evelyn Mosby! Since when do you have a Swiss Army knife?!
4:25pmTed
THAT'S the lockpick!
Um, since I was a Webelo.
4:25pmRobin
Ted, those are tweezers.
4:26pmTed
crap. you're right.
4:26pmRobin
Tell me honestly-- did you ever move past Webelo?
4:26pmTed
Oh, like YOU made it past Brownies?
4:26pmRobin
Okay, I hear ya.
4:26pmTed
I think I hear someone coming!
4:26pmRobin
Crap!
Quick, make out with me!
4:27pmTed
What? NO!
Let's dive behind the nurse's station!
4:27pmRobin
Ted! That's what they do in the movies!
Oh. i guess we could do that.
4:27pmTed
WE'RE NOT IN THE MOVES, ROBIN!
4:27pmRobin
SAYS THE GUY WHO THINKS HE'S JAMES BOND!
All right, fine.
*scrambles*
4:27pmTed
*dives*
4:28pmRobin
*whispering* Okay, one question.
4:28pmTed
*whisper* What?
4:28pmRobin
What if the person coming is a nurse?!
4:28pmTed
Look and see if it is
4:28pmRobin
Me?!
4:28pmTed
Well you lost the nose game!
*touch nose*
4:29pmRobin
The nose game?
DAMN IT
Fine
Sshhh.
*gets up, peeks over counter*
*footsteps coming closer*
*a few voices*
Crap. Get down.
It's a nurse and a doctor.
4:29pmTed
I'm down!
what are they saying?
4:30pmRobin
Scooch over!
4:30pmTed
*scooch*
4:30pmRobin
("...that sleep deprived... cocktail of drugs...")
Are they talking about Barney?
4:30pmTed
I don't know...
I think so?
4:30pmRobin
Shit, they're coming.
4:30pmTed
fuck
4:31pmRobin
(..."brother went to call his family"...)
MAKE OUT WITH ME!
4:31pmTed
why??
4:31pmRobin
Because they're coming! Ted! We're going to get in so much trouble
4:32pmTed
ummm... uh...
THINKING ON MY FEET ISNOT MY STRONG SUIT.
4:32pmRobin
"EXCUSE ME. Can we help you?"
Crrrrrrap.
4:32pmTed
Um... hello!
4:32pmRobin
*a man and a woman standing over them*
4:32pmTed
*grins*
4:32pmRobin
Uh, hi there.
4:33pmTed
"This is a restricted area."
4:33pmRobin
*looks to Ted for inspirational speech*
Uh...
4:33pmTed
RUN!
*sprints*
4:33pmRobin
*runs*
Oh god. i am SO deported.
4:34pmTed
no. no way.
4:34pmRobin
*breathing hard* where the hell are we going?
4:34pmTed
I... don't... know...
*bursts through double doors*
4:34pmRobin
*looks behind her. no one following*
you think they're calling security on us?
4:34pmTed
God I hope not...
4:35pmRobin
*shuts doors behind them*
Okay, whatever we do now, we better do it fast.
4:35pmTed
Ok... I think... we're okay.
What are we supposed to do now, Robin?!
4:35pmRobin
What makes you think that?! Dude. We just RAN FROM THE GROWN-UPS.
4:35pmTed
Well, they're not following us!
This is like... base, or something!
4:36pmRobin
BASE?
oh my god.
4:36pmTed
like in tag!
4:36pmRobin
Okay, let's go... this way.
4:36pmTed
Which way is that?
like, where's it go?
4:36pmRobin
Okay, let's just stop in this women's restroom and make a plan.
4:36pmTed
I'm not going into the women's restroom.
4:37pmRobin
TED!
4:37pmTed
Okaaaaaaay!
4:37pmRobin
You're being a girl.
Okay good
4:37pmTed
shut up.
4:37pmRobin
*pulls him into the bathroom*
4:37pmTed
...It's so... /pink/... in here.
4:37pmRobin
*sits on loveseat*
*sighs with relief*
4:37pmTed
Why the HELL do you get loveseats in your bathrooms?
4:38pmRobin
No time, Ted.
Okay
when we find Barney
4:38pmTed
yeah?
4:38pmRobin
we're going to need some kind of excuse for being there.
I mean
4:38pmTed
right.
4:38pmRobin
for how we got there
Any ideas?
4:38pmTed
I say we pose as his long-lost siblings, since they'reonly letting family in.
4:38pmRobin
Clearly you're opposed to us just looking for a place to make out.
Oh. Hey. That's not bad.
4:39pmTed
Um, seriously, why are you so fixated on making out with me?
I'm not really that kissable right now.
My hair's a mess, for one thing...
not the point of this discussion.
4:39pmRobin
Okay, Ted? I didn't want to make out with you for your hair.
In fact, I'd rather not make out with you at all.
4:39pmTed
Then why do you keep suggesting it?
4:40pmRobin
IT'S FOR BARNEY, OKAY? God.
4:40pmTed
Okay...
so. right.
the plan.
4:40pmRobin
I just figure, you don't walk up to people and start questioning them in the middle of a makeout session.
right. the plan.
Long lost brother and sister?
4:40pmTed
actually, I think they'd still ask us what we were doing there.
obviously.
we'll get James to vouch for us, you think?
4:41pmRobin
So then we say... "Uh, we're his brother and sister."
4:41pmTed
Right.
4:41pmRobin
Yeah! Think he's got his phone on now? we could message him
4:41pmTed
Yeah, I'll text him now.
4:41pmRobin
Good plan.
Do you hear footsteps?
4:41pmTed
Okay, so what are our names?
4:42pmRobin
Um... Ted and Robin?
Do we need code names?
4:42pmTed
What, no cool aliases?\
I don't know. Maybe.
4:42pmRobin
You're right. Barney and Marshall would definitely say go for the aliases.
Okay, I DEFINITELY hear footsteps. Get in a stall
4:42pmTed
Crap, not again!
*hides in stall*
4:43pmRobin
*hides too*
okay, let's just keep our voices down
4:43pmTed
*whispers* why do you need to hide? you're a woman in the women's restroom!
4:43pmRobin
*thinks about that* Oh.
Good point.
4:44pmTed
well, whatever. just stay there until she leaves.
4:44pmRobin
Okay.
So.
Code names?
How about "Little Webelo Mosby" for you and your lil pocketknife.
4:45pmTed
I will be... Sean Connery.
who names their kid "Little Webelo"??
LIke, the names we tell the hospital people
4:45pmRobin
Ted. Please. You cannot pull off "Sean Connery."
4:45pmTed
to explain who we are
Um, I SO can.
4:45pmRobin
Ted.
Come on.
4:46pmTed
Fine, but I'm not going by "Little Webelo" either.
What's YOUR brilliant idea for a code name.
?
4:46pmRobin
Um...
4:47pmTed
You can be... Alanis.
4:47pmRobin
No way.
4:47pmTed
Well, unless you have a better idea...
4:48pmRobin
brb
How about Diane Sawyer?
4:49pmTed
Can I still be Sean Connery?
4:49pmRobin
*sigh* Fine.
4:49pmTed
Yes! *fist pump*
4:49pmRobin
*fist bumps back* Okay. So. Code names, check.
4:50pmTed
right.
4:50pmRobin
Shall we?
4:50pmTed
wait, we still dont' know where he is!
hang on...
james just texted me... he's in room 4815.
4:51pmRobin
Oh, man, I could kiss James
4:51pmTed
What is with you and kissing lately?
And I don't think Tom'd appreciate that. =D
4:52pmRobin
I don't know. Apparently I haven't kissed anyone in awhile. Whatever. Shut up. Let's go
4:52pmTed
haha, okay. CHeck to see if the coast is clear?
4:53pmRobin
Dude, why do I always have to check?
4:53pmTed
Well, this time you're checking because I'm not supposed to be in the women's restroom to begin with
4:53pmRobin
Good point.
*opens door, looks left to right*
we're go.
4:53pmTed
the first time I was just being bossy. =)
awesome.
4:53pmRobin
*sneaks into hallway*
4:54pmTed
*tiptoes behind*
*hums James Bond theme*
4:54pmRobin
Sshh!
4:54pmTed
sorry.
4:54pmRobin
Actually that's kind of motivating.
4:54pmTed
I know, right?
the James Bond theme solves all problems.
almost.
4:54pmRobin
Damn, I really wish I had my S&W 58!
I could be bursting around doorways and stuff with it
4:55pmTed
why didn't you go get it before we broke in here?
you siad you were gonna!
4:55pmRobin
You told me not to!
4:55pmTed
oh yeah.
4:55pmRobin
What's the room number again?
4:55pmTed
4815
...16 ...23...42...
*keeps repeating numbers*
4:56pmRobin
Yeah *got* it, Ted.
4:56pmTed
heh.
But seriously, what is UP with those Numbers on Lost?
4:57pmRobin
4811... 4813...
4:57pmTed
here it is.
4:57pmRobin
I don't know. you DID double check the TiVo before you left, right?
4:57pmTed
for the final time, YES.
4:57pmRobin
Just checking.
4:57pmTed
All our shows should be recording right now.
4:57pmRobin
So... *peers through tiny glass window*
4:57pmTed
you see him?
4:58pmRobin
No.I can't see anything
It's sort of dark in there
Take a look.
4:58pmTed
*peeks* I guess the lights are off because he's sleeping?
*jiggles door handle*
It's unlocked.
*opens*
4:59pmRobin
*follows*
4:59pmTed
oh god... Robin...
did he really look that bad yesterday?
4:59pmRobin
*can't say anything, just stares*
5:00pmTed
he's got all those machines hooked up to him...
5:00pmRobin
he looks so...
5:00pmTed
*beep* *beep* *beep*
I know...
Do you think he can hear us?
5:00pmRobin
Is he okay, do you think?
*walks to the other side of his bed*
I don't know. Maybe?
5:00pmTed
I don't...
Barney?
You in there, bro?
*moves closer*
5:01pmRobin
*barney doesn't move*
Barney?
Give him a fist bump.
5:02pmTed
*holds out fist*
5:02pmRobin
What, are you afraid to touch him?
5:02pmTed
Come on, dude. Article 107... don't lave me hanging...
What, are YOU?
*lowers fist*
5:02pmRobin
No! Of course not. No.
5:03pmTed
Prove it.
5:03pmRobin
Fine. *moves to touch Barney's hand*
Okay, maybe.
He just looks like he's going to break.
5:03pmTed
Yeah...
*slips Barney's hand into his*
5:04pmRobin
*meets Ted's eyes, looks away*
*takes barney's other hand*
So...
Talk to him.
5:05pmTed
*clears throat*
Hey, Barney, it's me...
Told you I was coming to see you.
5:05pmRobin
*holds Barny's hand tighter*
5:06pmTed
I couldn't...
*throat's too tight to speak*
5:06pmRobin
*sees this* Barney, it's me...
Robin.
I'm really...
5:06pmTed
*looks at Robin*
5:06pmRobin
Sorry.
About yesterday.
5:07pmTed
*smiles, turns back to Barney*
5:07pmRobin
And...
yeah.
5:07pmTed
Listen, dude...
we're all pulling for you. Okay?
Don't... don't quit on us now.
5:08pmRobin
*beep* *beep* *beep* God, these machines...
5:08pmTed
There's too many of them
James told me...
he said that...
5:08pmRobin
What?
Ted, what?
5:08pmTed
that Barney should have been dead.
5:08pmRobin
*opens her mouth to say something*
*looks away*
5:08pmTed
that he shouldn't have survived what happened yesterday.
5:09pmRobin
yesterday shouldn't have happened at all.
5:09pmTed
*swallows hard*
But it did.
5:09pmRobin
*tearing up* Barney, I'm so sorry...
I should have...
5:09pmTed
I don't think you could have stopped him.
5:10pmRobin
Maybe we all could have, Ted.
5:10pmTed
Yeah.
Maybe.
5:11pmRobin
Barney?
I guess we shouldn't try to wake him up, huh.
5:11pmTed
Why, what were you going to do?
5:12pmRobin
Nothing! I wasn't going to do anything.
5:12pmTed
Yes you were.
5:13pmRobin
No I wasn't.
*lets go of Barney's hand*
5:13pmTed
Robin...
5:13pmRobin
*steps backward and hits a machine* damn it.
5:14pmTed
Robin, don't run away NOW.
5:14pmRobin
*looks sharply at Ted* I'm not running away. I'm here, aren't I? I'm fucking Diane Sawyer.
5:16pmTed
...I think I hear footsteps again.
5:16pmRobin
Shit.
So... we stand our ground?
5:16pmTed
Absolutely.
5:16pmRobin
Okay. *slowly steps forward, takes Barney's hand again*
5:16pmTed
*nurse enters*
5:17pmRobin
*freezes*
5:17pmTed
"Who are you two?"
5:17pmRobin
We're--
5:17pmTed
I'm... I'm his brother.
Ted.
*looks at Robin*
5:18pmRobin
So am I. Sister. I mean.
We're his brother and sister!
5:19pmTed
*nurse* "I see." *smiles*
5:19pmRobin
heh... heh. Yep. *smiles a little*
5:19pmTed
"I need to check your brother's vitals, so if you wouldn't mind taking a step back...?"
5:19pmRobin
Oh
5:20pmTed
*gently lowers Barney's hand and releases it*
5:20pmRobin
*begrudgingly steps back*
5:20pmTed
*steps back*
5:20pmRobin
So um... can he hear us?
5:21pmTed
"Well, some people like to think that unconscious people can still hear what's going on around them."
5:22pmRobin
Okay.
He's okay, right?
5:22pmTed
"We don't really have any way to know forsure, though."
5:22pmRobin
Oh.
Right. Of course.
*barney snores slightly*
5:22pmTed
"The doctors think he'll be fine once he recovers."
*Ted smiles slightly at Barney*
5:22pmRobin
Right. So he's GOING to recover.
Because he looks...
5:23pmTed
*nurse* "We're very optimistic."
5:24pmRobin
G... good.
5:24pmTed
Yeah, optimistic is... good.
5:25pmRobin
Very good. *nurse steps aside, makes notes on chart*
*robin moves forward, takes his hand again*
5:25pmTed
*Ted grabs Barney's other hand again*
*nurse* "All done... I'll let you two continue your visit." *leaves*
5:26pmRobin
*looks at Ted*
God, Ted... thank god.
5:26pmTed
Yeah...
She totally bought it. *grins*
5:26pmRobin
*smiles* Check THAT out, Barney. Undercover five!
5:26pmTed
*Barney doesn't respond*
*Ted grips his hand tighter in both of his*
5:27pmRobin
*smile falters a little*
5:27pmTed
It's okay, Robin.
he's going to be okay.
5:27pmRobin
Yeah. Well... Sean Connery and Diane Sawyer to the rescue.
5:27pmTed
Haha. yeah.
5:27pmRobin
*laughs bitterly* Right. I am so far from Diane Sawyer...
5:28pmTed
You'll get there one day.
5:28pmRobin
Yeah well. I'm closer to her than you are James Bond.
5:28pmTed
....
...Yeah, that's kind of true.
5:28pmRobin
Ted. C'mon.
Thank you.
5:28pmTed
I could be the Jeopardy Sean Connery?
5:29pmRobin
Ha. Boobs.
*beepbeep beepbepp*
Oh dear lord.
5:29pmTed
no, tht's not really me either. that's more Barney.
5:29pmRobin
THAT, he reacts to?
5:29pmTed
What's happening?!
5:29pmRobin
I think it was when I said boobs.
5:29pmTed
hahaha... you would, Barney.
5:29pmRobin
*laughs*
Crap. My phones buzzing.
5:30pmTed
Who is it?
5:30pmRobin
I canNOT believe this. I just spent two hours on the phone with them...
*shoves phone back in her pocket*
5:30pmTed
oh no... work again?
5:30pmRobin
Yeah. They're just-- whatever.
It's not like I have a choice, you know?
Look at him, Ted.
5:31pmTed
You know, Barney did get that job for you... I don't know if he'd want you to lose it over him or not.
*looks at Barney* No... you're right.
5:31pmRobin
Ted...
Thank you.
I can find another job. I can do it fast.
5:31pmTed
okay.
5:32pmRobin
*barney makes a sound*
5:32pmTed
Barney?
5:32pmRobin
*his eyelids flutter*
Barney?!
5:33pmTed
Buddy? you awake in there?
5:33pmRobin
*barney* "Ted."
5:33pmTed
Hey, dude, how're you feeling?
5:33pmRobin
*his eyes stay shut*
5:33pmTed
*squeezes his hand*
5:34pmRobin
"bro."
5:34pmTed
*smiles* Told you I was coming here.
5:34pmRobin
*he half-smiles, his eyes still shut*
"Get..."
Get what, Barney? You thirsty?
"Get your ass back to work, Scherbatsky."
*his eyes stay shut*
5:35pmTed
*looks back and forth between them*
5:36pmRobin
Damn it, Barney. Quit being a tool.
5:36pmTed
Barney...
5:36pmRobin
I'm staying.
5:36pmTed
*mouths* Good for you.
5:36pmRobin
*smiles at Ted*
"get. ass... back... work..."
5:37pmTed
Barney, do you really expect her to go back to work when you're lying here like this?
5:37pmRobin
Barney...
Bar... Barney?
Is he asleep again?
5:38pmTed
Dunno... Barney?
5:38pmRobin
"deported. stupid."
*lets go of his hand*
Let's let him sleep.
5:38pmTed
Robin...
5:39pmRobin
Maybe I should go find James.
5:39pmTed
Oh... okay.
5:39pmRobin
Yeah, I'm just... I'm gonna go find him. And I should probably call work. *laughs* They've probably left, like... sixteen...
Ow. Stupid... chair...
5:40pmTed
*just nods slowly, watching her back out*
5:40pmRobin
Right-- so-- you'll be here?
*pulls phone out of her pocket*
5:41pmTed
Yeah... or, I said I'd call Lily and Marshall at 6, so... I'll stay until then.
5:41pmRobin
Okay.
*smiles brightly*
5:41pmTed
*smiles weakly*
5:41pmRobin
So... later, Barney. Bro. Heh.
Hey
Good job, Mr. Bond.
5:42pmTed
You too, Ms. Sawyer.
Barney: "wuzzat all about?"
Eh, don't worry about it.
5:42pmRobin
Right. *takes one last look at Barney*
*walks out*
5:43pmTed
*sighs*