usually feel best when i wake up.....GOOD MORNING!

[crypticdelphian]

i usually feel best when in the morning and this morning was particularly pretty good.... i didn'at have to eat bymyself... well i technically did but i talked to someone while i ate... there was this nice guy whome was a nerd and not a partier like myself.. quite ect.... and we had a nice chat while i had some pizza....to bad he doesn't live in colorado... jk.. also he had long curly hair! he definanly wasn't gay----no gayness whatsoever....to bad this happened the last day i am here... really does always something good have to get screwed up.. but at least it was a nice chat...i haven't had real human contact---well at least talking other than yes you can borrow some movies or excuse me-----in several weeks...maybe like two..and then interspersed before that...i wonder if britta has left yet??? i fort when she said she was going to leave... i know she obviously doesn't want to say good bye to me... i am her left overs... anyway... just let everyone know i had a good morning...unfortunatly its o!nly one in a line of many that have fallen..and this afternoon doesn't look promising.. i already feel tired and i have to study like crazy since i have been overly depressed--depressed more than usual---and haven't been able to concentrate so of course its all built up to be one big messy blow out...

school is almost over... then i won't feel so rotten for feeling rotten.. if that makes anysense...i can go into hiding and it won't matter.....i don't have to do anything.. i don't have to take a shower.. i don't have to get out of bed.. i don't have to eat dinner at a specific time... i don't have to clean--(oh wait i already don't do that)---i won't have to wear clean clothes or do laundry...i can just go to sleep never get out of bed and that will be the end of me...fuck a job... i won't need anything but my bed...

i am not depressed! i am feeling ok.. now if only i could stay this way at least for a little while longer...