Jul 27, 2014 22:26
cross posting because this is a very important series of thoughts to me.
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if i did not love making art this much - i would be a buddhist nun. this thought is growing steadily stronger.
…..even if i am madly in love with art. i think i am presently on the path toward the decision of fleeing the city, meditating, never, ever being on the internet or even seen by my friends again.
i think i could and would leave this life behind. i could possibly let go of my high hopes of spreading my art to people. i could let go of my violent desire to love and be loved.
i want to just be - i want to sit and look at nature and not feel my pulse race and my breath hitch from paranoia of all sorts. i want to stop eating at myself to live. i want to stop being seen. i want to disappear from everyone without disappearing from myself.