Think I'm going to puke
Uh yea, so apparently class WAS supposed to start today. Good thing I checked my email and saw that it was cancelled due to weather and the instructor being out of town.
I feel like I've been drugged today. I just can't get moving. I've been on the couch watching tv since 10:30 this morning. I could have been reading. Dr. Almighty and I are going to have a smoke-n-chat about Apathy, a book by Paul Neilan I'm reading that is absolutley riotous. Every paragraph has a laff. The review on the back didn't lie.
I have a sex crush on Almighty. I want to do him. But I don't want anything to change, but I want to get to know him better because I just know he's a good person. We have similar tastes in books, movies, and music, why can't we be more than just drug clients? I mean, we don't have to have sex. WHy would he want to have sex with me? Everytime I see him I'm either in my robe with an assorted hat on, or pitifully nervous around him. Methinks I have a crush. It's been a long time since I've had a crush on a real person, not a cartoon or character in a book. How pathetic. Maybe next time I do a pick up I should don some makeup. But then that defeats my "fuck you I only wear makeup when I feel like it" plan. Already I want to change my appearance for a man. Life is hard. Good thing he doesn't know how hairy my legs are...
Uh but yea. Why am I so nervous about my class? I'm just not ready. I'll hopefully get the book I need tomorrow. Luckily my dad put away a bunch of my bonds as a kid so I have college book money, so I won't have to pay out of pocket, so that's good. Phew. Money is hella tight. I'd quit smoking (both kinds), but I view the little soldiers and my herbs as medication. That's not going to be phased out of the budget. I'll just cut down on taco purchases. It will be good for the health.
Speaking of health I'm going to join the YMCA. It's dirt freakin' cheap until you're 25, and they have volumes more stuff to do than Curves and my own "home gym" (i.e. the Wildebeest and DDR). This should be fun. Build up some pecs, sell the meat. Champion dreams.
I wasn't even going to show up for class today. How funny. It would have been an honest mistake, I swear. I though class didn't start until NEXT Tuesday. There go my Tuesday evenings, though I'll be home before The Office, so I can'ts complains. I'm not sure why I'm so nervous. I think I need to invest in a schedule book to keep track of my class times, work times, food times (gots to get those small meals in throughout the day), homework, doctor's appointments, etc. I use my phone, but if I write it down I think it will feel more concrete.
I'm rambling away. I ahven't updated from home in ages. Usually my dad parks himself down at the computer ALL DAY. And when he gets up and it's my turn, he comes back in and "needs to check something." Ugh, get a real fucking job already. Stop being a cocky, pompous asshole and settle, for now, so we have some goddamn income. Because it's making me terribly nervous that we have to scrape up cash to go grocery shopping. And here I am, buying smokes. Eh, I choose to put up the mask of indifference. Not my problem; I just sleep here.
Stress. Kill it. Kill your lungs.
I feel like I've been drugged today. I just can't get moving. I've been on the couch watching tv since 10:30 this morning. I could have been reading. Dr. Almighty and I are going to have a smoke-n-chat about Apathy, a book by Paul Neilan I'm reading that is absolutley riotous. Every paragraph has a laff. The review on the back didn't lie.
I have a sex crush on Almighty. I want to do him. But I don't want anything to change, but I want to get to know him better because I just know he's a good person. We have similar tastes in books, movies, and music, why can't we be more than just drug clients? I mean, we don't have to have sex. WHy would he want to have sex with me? Everytime I see him I'm either in my robe with an assorted hat on, or pitifully nervous around him. Methinks I have a crush. It's been a long time since I've had a crush on a real person, not a cartoon or character in a book. How pathetic. Maybe next time I do a pick up I should don some makeup. But then that defeats my "fuck you I only wear makeup when I feel like it" plan. Already I want to change my appearance for a man. Life is hard. Good thing he doesn't know how hairy my legs are...
Uh but yea. Why am I so nervous about my class? I'm just not ready. I'll hopefully get the book I need tomorrow. Luckily my dad put away a bunch of my bonds as a kid so I have college book money, so I won't have to pay out of pocket, so that's good. Phew. Money is hella tight. I'd quit smoking (both kinds), but I view the little soldiers and my herbs as medication. That's not going to be phased out of the budget. I'll just cut down on taco purchases. It will be good for the health.
Speaking of health I'm going to join the YMCA. It's dirt freakin' cheap until you're 25, and they have volumes more stuff to do than Curves and my own "home gym" (i.e. the Wildebeest and DDR). This should be fun. Build up some pecs, sell the meat. Champion dreams.
I wasn't even going to show up for class today. How funny. It would have been an honest mistake, I swear. I though class didn't start until NEXT Tuesday. There go my Tuesday evenings, though I'll be home before The Office, so I can'ts complains. I'm not sure why I'm so nervous. I think I need to invest in a schedule book to keep track of my class times, work times, food times (gots to get those small meals in throughout the day), homework, doctor's appointments, etc. I use my phone, but if I write it down I think it will feel more concrete.
I'm rambling away. I ahven't updated from home in ages. Usually my dad parks himself down at the computer ALL DAY. And when he gets up and it's my turn, he comes back in and "needs to check something." Ugh, get a real fucking job already. Stop being a cocky, pompous asshole and settle, for now, so we have some goddamn income. Because it's making me terribly nervous that we have to scrape up cash to go grocery shopping. And here I am, buying smokes. Eh, I choose to put up the mask of indifference. Not my problem; I just sleep here.
Stress. Kill it. Kill your lungs.