Dec 31, 2007 10:15
Aloha 2007. You were a pretty damn good year. You got off to a rough start, but around a quarter of the way through you really pulled out all the stops for one hell of a year.
My memory isn't what it used to be, either from recent years of smoking or that magnetic wave the gov't is sending out that is getting more and more powerful each year. That tv show "Lost" wasn't mysterious or original. I knew about the magnets all along. I saw like ONE episode and I said "It's magnets. The magnets are making everything freaky deaky." And guess what ma, I was right! Then I didn't watch it anymore because I figured if I solved the "mystery" in one episode, why waste my time?
But I digress. 2007: Year of the Digression. Since I'm at work this isn't going to be a highly detailed report, just me jotting down what I remember happened.
Well, the year started off with me working at my sister's salon. It was a cool job at first when I started in 2005, but as the time went by, it just became more and more greuling. Torture. 12 hour days dressed to the nines in heavy jewelry, makeup, and fancy shoes was beginning to kill me. So much it was making me suicidal. Great! But we'll get to that later. I just realized I can sign on to a computer when my shift is done. I have to get new tires for my car but I'd rather finish the year end post. It's not like I'll ever get another December 31, 2007 in which to update.
I don't think anything of much importance happened in January or February, except for Chester's birthday party in which her, I, Santa, Craig, and BM got a hotel suite and partied like rock stars all night long. I mean we had the fireplace on, a full bong, and a plethora of booze. This was the famous night when BM said one of the best quotes of the year:
"Warlock!!! I can't believe he put down waaaarlock!"
BM's responses to Adult Swim that night in the hotel gave us laughs literally ALL YEAR LONG. Another classic line included:
"What are you waaaatching?!"
You have to understand that a majority of what makes these esoteric lines so fucking hilarious is BM's voice. He has one of the great voices of the century. You can't tolerate it for very long sometimes, but Chester and I's frequent lapses into BM Speak have made for some classic 07 moments. I'm not sure if this was from 06 or what, but yet another BM line we love:
"Maaaaaaaan! I coold really go fuh some peeeeeaancakes!"
Ah yes, February 12, 2007. GÜd times.
Now let us move on to March. March is the month when I met Mysteriouso Face, a sexless, floating face with a great Myspace page. Though I vow to never succumb to the Myspace Machine, Mysteriouso opened my eyes about "friendship" and the art of comment leaving. Back in Fall 2007 MF even started an "Ugly Contest." That was crazy times!
The only other thing I remember about March was that we had some shitty weather, and I did some housesitting for Marion during St. Patrick's Day, so our crew of four went to the Brown Derby which is in walking distance of Marion's house. I don't remember if The Jananator or Felix drank anything, but Chester and I fueled our powercells with Bud Lite before going out, then we kept the night going with plastic cup after plastic cup of watered down Green Beer. Jananator and Felix left early, so Chester and I walked home. There was also a lot of watching of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job a television program I am giving the honor of "Best Show of 2007" to. I think Assy McGee got the honor last year.
During the housesitting I was starting to have momentary mental freakouts, and this was all leading to the culmination of me quitting that HORRIBLE HORRIBLE JOB and landing in the hospital for the better part of a week. As I remember it, I had wanted to get away from the salon for a long time, but I had to find another job before quitting. I applied to Home Despot and essentially got the job, but the week I went without "herbal supplements" sent me into a tailspin of really bad depression. I knew I had to pass a piss test, so rather than seeking out clean pee which I originally thought was too difficult, I just abstained from smoking. I had my last joint at the librarian's house on Easter Sunday. I think that was April 8, 2007. In my heart I didn't really want to work at Home Depot, but I wanted to do something. A whole week of hoping that my pee would get clean coupled with the despair I was experiencing culminated with chain smoking on Felix's birthday, then going to a psychiatric appointment later in the day.
They called my parents and my mom drove me to the Emercency Room where we waited for almost 8 hours. I had to wear these horribly uncomfortable and too small hospital pants and johnny and lie on a gurney out in the hallway while all these people kept passing by. THAT was nervewracking. Then like 11 o clock that Monday night I finally went up to the floor and got to go to sleep.
I just remeber being woken up a million times a night for them to check my hormone, sugar, and some other levels because my physical health was out of whack at the moment as well. This was also a factor in my mental health needing repair. There isn't really much to write about regarding my stay at the Pond House, but it was exactly what I needed. I was released on Friday, April 20, 2007. It was a bitterly cold day with no leaves on the trees. My parents drove me home and I took a nap.
While I was there I made a monumental phone call to my sister and told her that I quit. No 2 week notice, just I Quit. I have never felt such relief. Even when holding urine in my bladder for 3/18ths of Nebraska. My life began anew after I quit that job. I remember being in such a great mood when getting out because of three reasons: 1) No more terrible salon job, 2) new combination of medication, and 3) Chester, Santa, and I had a trip to Cocoa Beach, Florida planned for a few weeks in advance. And THAT, my friends, was when the fun started.
I got out of the hospital on a Friday, and I believe it was the next Tuesday or Wednesday when our Trio embarked on the mad 24-hour dash down to Florida. I remember Ron, one of the night nurses at the hospital, used to drive down to Florida often for Nascar or the like, so he gave me a great route to follow that bypassed all the city shit. The hospital people were so happy for me that I was going to Florida.
THAT was a very memorable trip. Ironically, that was a 100% weed-free trip, hence perhaps why I remember it. After hospital time the pressure to not smoke was really on, so I laid off of weed for a little while. Imagine how happy I was that we didn't have anything illegal in the Tank when Chester got pulled over for going TOO SLOW in the Baltimore Tunnel in Maryland at like 2am. Fuckin' pigs. My disrepect and mistrust for ALL forms of authority has only increased over this year.
After an interesting drive down, we rocked the Sea Aire motel for about a good week. It was a wonderful trip. We went swimming in the soothing, warm Floridian ocean water everyday, and I almost got attacked by a school of small manrays! Every night we would watch Adult Swim then sit outside and hear the ocean or bring a radio to one of the picnic tables and drink Mike's Hard beverages and sing into the night. We got to check out the amazing Ron Jon's Surf Shop, which is truly one of a kind. They were open 24 hours a day so we went at 3am or some random time just because we could. I got one of the most comfortable sweatshirts in the world from there.
Florida was just an amazing, relaxing time. We were sad to leave, but by the time we got back to New England it was the beginning of May, the month of hope. I think we got home on a Friday morning, and by that Sunday, I had put in a call to get a hold of some smokables. The people at the hospital said I shouldn't work for a while, so I didn't. Instead I had to go to group therapy. This started about mid-May and went all the way until July 3rd, when I was triumphantly kicked out of REHAB.
All the stars went to rehab this year, and so did I. My mom caught me looking high while I was in group therapy, so she told my nurse. From this instance they said I'd be better off somewhere were they could cater to my unweilding addiction to the demon weed of marijuana. Uh huh. SO then I started going to rehab where I met some very amusing people. I didn't really get anything out of it except some very entertaining stories to tell my friends and family, and a stockpile of stereotypical drug addict impressions of people I can now do. I'd mention some instances here, but I don't want to use the people's real names. And the people's real names sometimes made the story. There is one amusing anecdote I should document:
It's morning check-in time. I would be safe and sober, but rarely clean. One of the narcs asks "Anyone have good news?" and scrawny coke head lady says "Yea! I've been dating Brad Pitt!" Everyone laughs. "ANyone else?" the narcs ask. Me, being the cheeky bastard I am, chime in with "I've been diggin' in to Johnny Depp on the side, myself!" then the funniest part came up. It's so stereotypical it hurts, but it's so funny. Then the middle-aged classy black woman says "Mmm mmm, honey, and Denzel is mii-iine!" I had to prevent myself from laughing.
I smoked a shitload of cigarettes the whole time I was in rehab. GO figure? After about a month of failed piss tests (though I did pass one), they decided they couldn't change my way of thinking about marijuana. Granted now I'll never touch a lot of drugs I was curious about just from legitimate horror stories (one lady had 3 heart attacks in under a minute from snorting coke one time), but if anything, what I learned is that marijuana is even LESS harmful than the "squares" think it is. Especially when compared to all the other illegal shit out there. Thanks rehab! I remember it was July 3rd. I called the librarian as soon as I left rehab for good, and we spent a wonderful day smoking in the sun and looking up pro-cannabis websites online. I wrote an entire entry about it. Just look up early July 2007.
July 4th was very different this year. In the past I truck myself down to New Jersey to hand with my olde tyme friends and see the fireworks spectacular. Since I didn't work for almost 3 months I wasn't able to afford driving down there. However, Forbes invited me over to her family's shindig, and that was AWESOME! We blew up a lot of stuff, played volleyball in the rain, and went swimming. It rocked. Then later that night I went home and got stoned to one of the great albums of the summer See You On the Other Side by Mercury Rev. Again, I think I was updating my LJ at this point.
The summer was wonderful. The warm weather slowy seeped in bit by bit, and my parents spent yet another summer in Rhode Island in that crappy, cramped, musty trailer with a half-assed box attached to it that my mom affectionatly called the "cottage." I think I went there one time. My poor mom doesn't realize that I don't want to spend time with her and my dad in very close quarters in a humid, seaside town where NO ONE is my age, and the people who are want nothing to do with me. Fuck that. I'd rather stay at home, all by myself, smoking whenever and wherever I want, blasting music on the Peavey's, playing videogames and staying up all night, starting fires in the pit out back and crooning along with Johnny Cash under the stars.
The summer wasn't very eventful, just day after wonderful day of freedom. Then, while I was housesitting for my sister and brother-in-law, I got a call from the library. I had been feeling much much better and wanted a job. I was sick of taking work that I really didn't want to do, so basically I called the library and begged for work. I ain't too proud to beg, and look where it got me! Now I'm working almost everyday and am enrolled in college to get my LTA certificate. I rule!
I believe it was July 9, 2007 that I officially started at the library again on a part-time basis. What an awesome thing. I felt like I beat The Man by not having to succumb to a wretched brainblasting job I really didn't want. I knew what I wanted and I went out and got it. Go me!
When the fall rolled around is when we started doing more stuff. In early September, Chester, Santa, and I took to the road again to attend their cousin's wedding in charming Scranton, PA. We were only there for the weekend, but we all quickly fell in love with the town. Granted, having The Office take place there and seeing the landmarks was cool, but Scranton would be awesome even without the connection to the tv show. I mean you can get pizza until 2AM and there are TWO all-night bowling alleys. Dudes, that is so me it hurt. Needless to say, we had a rock ass time.
When we got back from Scranton, Chester and I went camping for the only time this year. That's one of the only things that could have made 2007 better: more camping. Actually, it was before that when Chester, Felix, and I trekked to Providence to see THE Neil Hamburger, and have our minds blown by Pleaseeasaur or however it's spelled. That was awesome. September was also the month when Mysteriouso Face showed me the ancient art of Meat Weaving and other meat related crafts. What crazyness!
Then in October, Chester, Felix, and I carved some kick ass pumpkins. The whole time I think the Jananator was in Florida because her family moved down there for some reason. I don't quite understand the decisions her family makes, but it's none of my business. Chester, Santa, and I did another trip to Scranton, but this time for OFFICECON 2007!!!! THAT was a fucking blast except for all the rain. I believe I also did a post about it on here, and if not, Mysteriouso Face chronicled the trip on Myspace. Anyway, the Jananator moved back at the end of the month I think, which was awesome, and the year quickly started to wind down as November showed up.
I held a kick ass Guitar Hero party the night after Thanksgiving that was a huge hit. Chester, Santa, Jana, BM, and myself stayed up late into the night listening to good xmas music, drinking, smoking, rocking out, and playing video games. The Jananator and I did shots of rum. I think that was the only shot I did this year. Alcohol and I are losing touch, but I think it's just because I've outgrown the sweet drinks. A beer now and then is good enough for me these days.
The holiday season has been great, and tonight is the last hurrah. Chester and I will probably play Guitar Hero 3 all night, stopping only to see the ball drop. I've got to head over to Big Gary's to get some sort of celebratory beverages for the evening. I also have to go get two new tires on my car. After that I'll hit up Big Gary's, but while I'm at wallyworld waiting for my tires I'll pick up some munchies for the party I'm going to be having the night of January 2nd. That should be a hoot as well.
Well friends, we met a lot of famous people this year and smoked a lot of things. We watched a lot of TV and became very attached to King of the Hill toward the end of the year. Tim and Eric made life worth living, and 104.1 is yet again an amazing ROCK station. All in all, this was definatley one of the way better years I've had, despite the trials and suffering experienced in the early months. But there's probably some corny ass saying out there about how the hard times make the good times even better.
So bring on 2008!!! I'ma ready for ya!