(no subject)
i think i have finally calmed down from my lollapalooza fiasco. i think. for a while there i was scaring myself; banging on the piano, cussing, crying, stomping. yeah. it wasn't very pretty.
my whole day has been pretty funky. i'm having major insecurities about my hair. i hate the right side of my face. i never like having my hair down lately anymore (i like having it in a teensy tiny ponytail and pinning the rest of my hair up in bobby pins) and i'm just not happy with it. i want to get it cut, but i also like having it up because it is more feminine. i just can't decide. and i can't decide if i want to dye my hair for sure and i'm just really in an undeciding situation right now. i need money.
and then also, my jazz instructor confused me and told me to rewrite some chord changes and it turned out they were right in the first place.
and then also, it turns the boy who i have been thinking about constantly has a CAR and that just makes me more intimidated. (i'm guessing he's going to be a senior next year? or a junior?) it just really surprised me. that put me in a weird mood. which was weird.
since camp gets out at 2, i asked my grandpa if i could go to trader joe's to get some sushi because i was hungry and he said it was "bad for me." what the fuck. he said the raw fish was bad. i was like no, it's actually very HEALTHY, it's a thousand times better than fast food. he has no idea. what kind of coccamainey (if that's not a word, well, i just made it one) world do these old folks live in, i wonder? anyway, he took me and it's not like i got fish anyway. i got the vegetable rolls. (and a bag of the best ever pita chips.) which was really nice of him.
i had a dinner with my mother's side of the family last night in honor of fathers day (one day late) for my grandpa. it's really interesting how my mother's side of the family constantly interrupt one another and brings up random subjects (like what one of us is wearing. usually it has something to do with physical appearance. or randomly bringing up "your skin looks nice today, what did you do to it?!" yeah, that). i think it is disrespectful.
tomorrow should be better. i am spending most of it with my grandma (on my dad's side) and then after camp, i have to get even more novocaine shot into my mouth (opposite side this time) and brace myself for yet another filling. there are theories about why this has happened to me. because they're not really cavities. they're thinking i maybe had a fever when i was in my mother's stomach and that caused something to happen to the pigment of my teeth. so, i have to get them filled. how exciting to not feel half of my mouth and cheek for over five hours. i felt like a retard last time (biting my lip a lot and such).
MY DAD TOOK THIS PICTURE OF MY STEPMOM TONIGHT AND EMAILED IT TO ME AND HAKSJDHAKSJFHAKSFJI LOVE IT IT MAKES ME FEEL A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER BY LOOKING AT IT, I JUST HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING AT IT.
my whole day has been pretty funky. i'm having major insecurities about my hair. i hate the right side of my face. i never like having my hair down lately anymore (i like having it in a teensy tiny ponytail and pinning the rest of my hair up in bobby pins) and i'm just not happy with it. i want to get it cut, but i also like having it up because it is more feminine. i just can't decide. and i can't decide if i want to dye my hair for sure and i'm just really in an undeciding situation right now. i need money.
and then also, my jazz instructor confused me and told me to rewrite some chord changes and it turned out they were right in the first place.
and then also, it turns the boy who i have been thinking about constantly has a CAR and that just makes me more intimidated. (i'm guessing he's going to be a senior next year? or a junior?) it just really surprised me. that put me in a weird mood. which was weird.
since camp gets out at 2, i asked my grandpa if i could go to trader joe's to get some sushi because i was hungry and he said it was "bad for me." what the fuck. he said the raw fish was bad. i was like no, it's actually very HEALTHY, it's a thousand times better than fast food. he has no idea. what kind of coccamainey (if that's not a word, well, i just made it one) world do these old folks live in, i wonder? anyway, he took me and it's not like i got fish anyway. i got the vegetable rolls. (and a bag of the best ever pita chips.) which was really nice of him.
i had a dinner with my mother's side of the family last night in honor of fathers day (one day late) for my grandpa. it's really interesting how my mother's side of the family constantly interrupt one another and brings up random subjects (like what one of us is wearing. usually it has something to do with physical appearance. or randomly bringing up "your skin looks nice today, what did you do to it?!" yeah, that). i think it is disrespectful.
tomorrow should be better. i am spending most of it with my grandma (on my dad's side) and then after camp, i have to get even more novocaine shot into my mouth (opposite side this time) and brace myself for yet another filling. there are theories about why this has happened to me. because they're not really cavities. they're thinking i maybe had a fever when i was in my mother's stomach and that caused something to happen to the pigment of my teeth. so, i have to get them filled. how exciting to not feel half of my mouth and cheek for over five hours. i felt like a retard last time (biting my lip a lot and such).
MY DAD TOOK THIS PICTURE OF MY STEPMOM TONIGHT AND EMAILED IT TO ME AND HAKSJDHAKSJFHAKSFJI LOVE IT IT MAKES ME FEEL A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER BY LOOKING AT IT, I JUST HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING AT IT.