i don't want to go home
you came over to spend time with me but you are sleeping in my bed. so its almost the same as you not coming over at all. so why did you come? i feel almost as if it made things worse. because now thats something else to get under my skin. i feel like throwing a temper tantrum. i don't want to go. im not even sure why i keep intermittenly crying. i am supposed to be packing. i want to be sleeping. i have been anxious all day. i didn't have time to prepare for this. for seeing everybody.
i hate funerals.
i don't know how to act. everyone keeps telling me how excited they are for me to come home and they can't wait to see me but i don't know how happy i'll be to come over...this is making me think of aunt katherine. which just makes me sad. becuase i've stuffed that down far enough where i don't have to think about it anymore. except for an event like this.
How do you do? Welcome to the human race; you're a mess.