drowning in rivers of unforgotten tears

[crimson_child]

the tears build into rivers
into oceans
my life blurring into swirling color

nothing matters as her wrinkled skin
nothing matters as her pained eyes

tears carve canyons into my skin
as memories they layer, layer, layer

only to gasp for air
again, again, again
ever falling
ever leaving

moving away from her my life feels thin
as glass I walk on it, dance over it, float
as water I breathe air bubbles hoping to not choke
watching her sink low through the smoke
through the haze I can do nothing

in my dream I move slower
screaming at my legs to move!
to run!
nothing, only slow

slow through the tears, time quickens its pace
present is now past and the future I see
I see it and I am alone
I am alone and I am crying
wearing the black that I already have
embedded within my every cell, my every drop of blood
my very heart and my very soul
it cries out and receives thorns
I drink them as ice water
they soothe my dry throat

they cover my body as I move
as a skin the thorns mesh together
fish net stockings and vodka crans
nothing but the plastic
only the plastic, please

nothing but hope on which I feed

hope laces the thorns
hope covers them as delicate frosting

sugar roses, powder to the touch
sugar roses, artificially colored as my lips
sugar roses, so sweet they are sickening

I almost prefer the thorns
at least they are real
at least they prick life

without them I am nothing but a thought
another's dream within which I wade
moving slowly
slower
slow-

/the water is rising.