Hoc: Have I mentioned that I am viciously competitive? Yes, I did score quite high, but apparently it wasn't quite high enough.  Once, just once I wanted to best her! Second isn't good enough, ever. I think I'm going to be sick.

Illud: What are you doing?

Hoc: Being sick.

Illud: Physically?

Hoc: [sarcastically] No, theologically. Do you mind?

Illud: Not ( Read more... )

Today: Relentless self analysis. Low assessment of personal usefulness and intelligence. Sheep in head. Every note I play on the viola sounds slightly off. Cursing the yellow face (for fear that it will melt what little brains I have). Hopelessly enamored of a discipline that is not mine (to which I would potentially still sell my soul, if I ( Read more... )

I think that I have (in my better moments) improved considerably in understanding that when friends don't answer my emails (even those of a nature that expects a response), it does not necessarily indicate that they no longer want anything to do with me, or that their esteem of me is at a low point.
With professors, however, these situations ( Read more... )

The subjective, communal, and comparative experience of time: contemplate. The rapidity with which different individuals are capable of reading, composing sentences, aging, reacting to physical stimuli. That I can look back at writing and drawings which I created and deemed apt at the age of 12, which now seem to me atrociously inaccurate gestures ( Read more... )

No - again I take it back - it is never enough. That never pertaining only to a moment - man's life no more than to say one - and it is all that is. ("For you have but mistook me all this while ( Read more... )

I am not witty. Someday, I may be, but not now. My brilliance - when I believe in it - is of another sort. Hamlet is witty. But perhaps he lacks other of my qualities, for I feel yet that I am his intellectual equal - i have felt so for so long, that I cannot believe it to be otherwise. But I am not witty, and very often I am oblivious to what goes ( Read more... )

To be asked to express prematurely postpones maturation - this is what has happened to me, what I am attempting to remedy. I have expressed too much prematurely, and thus in some respects have wasted the formative years which I ought to have spent in maturation. It is not that I learned nothing - that is not possible - but the focus has been on ( Read more... )

"My brother has it been so long since to drink
Of the sky was all our foresight?"

Over the break I should like to research stoicism, as Marcus Junius Brutus would have known it. I should like also to finish the reading I neglected throughout the past semester, to create an authentic toga from the late Roman Republic (such as Brutus would have ( Read more... )