(no subject)
“I can’t fucking believe this happened to me” Zeke thought to himself as he pushed the chair in front of him, trying to ignore the big grin on the face of the man in it. Admitadly it wasn’t an ugly face, but it was still annoying. And he had nice abbs…which was odd for a man in a wheelchair, not that Zeke had been looking.
It’d been months since Zeke had been convicted of vigilantism, his name (and a few pictures sent in from men he’d drunkenly slipped up with looking for a buck) had been all over the papers for a while as a caught superhero (though the bugle hadn’t mentioned him at all except a side note that they can’t wait till it happens to Spiderman). Since then he’d been fired from his assistant teaching job and unable to find anything at all except….working for this fucker.
Danial Jacobs, he was twenty three years old, richest guy in the city, was trapped in a wheelchair, and had a warped sense of humor. He had contacted Zeke and told him he wanted to hire him, and to bring the spandex.
So Zeke was there, after spending the past few months with what had to be the most obnoxious man he’d ever met (he tied with two faggots from high school whose names he couldn’t even remember, but whose complete fuckertude and asses he would never forget) that couldn’t go two minutes without whining like-
“Ezeeekiel, the wheelchair ride is too bumpy” The rich man grinned as the man pushing him clenched his teeth in anger.
“Well…I’ll..just have to go smoother” Zeke hissed, wishing for nothing more than to push over the chair and beat the man with a club.
“Ezeeeeekiel, it’s too cold, could you lean over a bit and keep me warm?” Jacobs grinned again at the vein visibly throbbing on the ex-superheroes’ face as he reluctantly wrapped his arms around him. (noticeably around the neck)
“Ezeeeeeeekiel, I think it’s still too cold, could you draw up a warm bath for us?” The crippled man was filled with glee at the mumbled cursing, followed by the look on Zekes face when his words finally sunk in.
“You mean draw a bath for you, right?” The mohawked man seemed genuinely confused for a moment, as if he honestly thought it’d been a mistake.
“Ezekiel, I clearly can’t wash myself alone with my condition” He gestured downward at his lower body “and my normal bather is on vacation. Apparently he gets scared by something as simple as an erection” He chuckled a little as he noticed Zeke stumble for a moment, a red tint going across the Mexican mans face.
“I don’t touch naked guys” Zeke stated, a little too quickly, and in a voice that was a little too high (and with his imagination already running wild as too what happened with the last bather, pants a little too tight). “It’s just not kosher with me”
“Well that’s too bad Ezekiel, I mean, you would be getting paid as my assistant and as my bather… Not to mention the built in bar I have is open to my bather all he wants.” He grinned as the interest was clearly peaked.
“….Any time I want?”
“The bar is open as long as I am there, but I won’t put a tap on how much you want to drink.”
“Will you wear shorts?”
“No”
“…boxers?”
“No, bath rule is no clothes Ezekiel”
“…..Where is the bar?”
“It’s built into the bathside Ezekiel, you have to be in it to drink there.”
“….Fine, but I’m closing my eyes ”
“All the better, who knows where your hands can end up when you don’t look where they’re going” The man winked as they wheeled towards the bathchamber.
“I can’t fucking believe this happened to me"
“It just be unnatural to me.” Gorbo the bearded sat with his mead in the Shattrah pub, talking to Silvermoon, his night elf companion. He took a deep swig as Silvermoon shook his head.
“It’s part of this whole neutral city effect, frankly, I blame the goblins for spreading this line of thought, them and those new people who wormed their way into the alliance.” Silvermoon looked over at a dranie (actually, it was a lost one, but silvermoon had never bothered too learn the difference) a few seats away.
“Ey, they look like weedy ones to me, an their crash be mutating the whole area near it to look like this hellish place!” Gorbo waved his arm, splashing his drink on the bar and his shirt. “An then they make this city, but do they keep it to the alliance? The only big city in this place an it could have been a crippling fortress against the horde! But no! They go an allow in those monstrosities!” The dwarf was red in the face, completely flushed. He halted his drink flailing as he felt a large hand on his shoulder. Looking up, the redbearded midget was face to face with the large green angry face of Gnoral the Large.
“Suppose those monstrosities didn’t take well to little half men speaking down to them in the city the blood elves had far more to do with setting up before your blue alliance thief friends took over.” Both men stared each other straight in the eye, tension in the air between them. Gorbo got off his stool, making little impact but declaring his motives for fight.
Both simultaneously started shouting, fists moments from flying “YE GREEN SKINNED PIGGART TUSKED-” “PUNY FIREHAIRED TOY SIZED-”
The fight was however cut off by tiny bodies giggling and running between them. The two quarreling men stared at the tiny forms.
“Ouch, you be losin’ now mon!” A small troll girl with her hair in many brains held down a gnomish boy, tickling him with all her might. The small goggled boy was breathless with laughter as he managed to squeak his protests and calls of cheating. The two kids were shooed out by the bartender, rolling his eyes at their shenanigans, both beaming as they ran out, the gnomish boy exclaiming loudly he was going to get her back double!
Gorbo and Gnoral stared at the kids as they went between them again on their way out, Bartender scrutinizing them to see if there’d be trouble.
There wasn’t, the two men turned away from each other, Gnoral stumbled out of the bar, and Gorbo returned to his seat, letting out a strong “Herumph” as his ass settled on the stool.
“Nother round?” The Goblin at the bar asked.
“Make it a double”