More on Male Creepiness and Inappropriateness
("Hey, newbie girls are treated differently than newbie boys! No Fair!")
From my perspective, yes - men have it a bit tougher than women in entering the scene. My personal experience is that submissive men outnumber dominant men women by quite a bit, and we get approached A LOT. Unless the guy is outstanding in some crucial way, he's just another cow in the herd, and will be treated as such if he acts in the standard "I'll do anything for you, Mistress!" way.
Men can very easily be creepy (the two near-universal examples used by women are separated by about 30 years - creep factor spans all ages) especially coupled with poor social graces, poor grooming, leering qualities, etc., but women are usually either a different brand of crazy, or just hide it better. Women usually have better social graces and less penis to prove, making it easier for them to be assimilated into a new group. And from my experience, women don't see it as a badge of honor to see how often they can insert some reference to their junk in a conversation - this affects both kink and vanilla men, but it seems that kink men feel that it's allowed or tolerated more, since it's the kink community. Manners and social niceties seem to get thrown out the window quite a bit more often in the kink community: where else would someone feel that it was ok to casually grope a person at a munch without consent?
My own pet peeve, personal space, must be phrased in the form of a hard limit, or people (usually men), find it a fun game to see how badly they can slaughter that request. To me, that disregard shows that social niceties like reading body language, erring on the side of caution, and not taking liberties has broken down. Badly.
From my perspective, yes - men have it a bit tougher than women in entering the scene. My personal experience is that submissive men outnumber dominant men women by quite a bit, and we get approached A LOT. Unless the guy is outstanding in some crucial way, he's just another cow in the herd, and will be treated as such if he acts in the standard "I'll do anything for you, Mistress!" way.
Men can very easily be creepy (the two near-universal examples used by women are separated by about 30 years - creep factor spans all ages) especially coupled with poor social graces, poor grooming, leering qualities, etc., but women are usually either a different brand of crazy, or just hide it better. Women usually have better social graces and less penis to prove, making it easier for them to be assimilated into a new group. And from my experience, women don't see it as a badge of honor to see how often they can insert some reference to their junk in a conversation - this affects both kink and vanilla men, but it seems that kink men feel that it's allowed or tolerated more, since it's the kink community. Manners and social niceties seem to get thrown out the window quite a bit more often in the kink community: where else would someone feel that it was ok to casually grope a person at a munch without consent?
My own pet peeve, personal space, must be phrased in the form of a hard limit, or people (usually men), find it a fun game to see how badly they can slaughter that request. To me, that disregard shows that social niceties like reading body language, erring on the side of caution, and not taking liberties has broken down. Badly.