Youngin's, Newbies & Creeps
From an email discussion with an exceptional under-35 person who went through a mentoring process):
And therein lies the difference between the internet generation and generations before - the internet generation doesn't have the patience to go through a test of fire, learning period, or a mentorship! With speed dating, instant messaging, etc, it's much more of an instant gratification vibe. Hell, newbies (of any age) want to be lauded as experts within 6 months of entering the scene - I think that's a problem when people who have been in the scene for a while see the cycle of newbies over and over. Burnout, anyone?
With 8 years under my belt in the scene, I'm definitely still a newbie in a lot of areas, but still in the TNG age group. Yup, I was stalked by the old-enough-to- be-my-grandfathe r predators, and played with some of them, simply because I saw no other option in the scene. Almost everyone was 20+ years older than I was, and I think that gap had both advantages and disadvantages to it. Part of me says to the newbies, "Suck it up, Buttercup - I had to go through it, and you do too.", but another part wants to try and help them through the minefield that are strewn about the innocuous restaurants in which munches are held.
I'm a believer in paying your dues, working for what you want, and being active in doing so. There are too many people who show up to their first munch and aren't immediately welcomed as a conquering hero, offered a perfect partner on a platter, and their choice of lube to immediately consummate their bravery in finding the scene. They leave, deciding that the scene is a waste of time. That kind of mentality can be a Darwinian selector, preventing idiots from mingling amongst us (Shock! Gasp!), but also keeps the shy, bashful or just plain scared from jumping into the fray. That's a double-edged sword, though - if you're not able to ask for what you want, chances are you won't get it.
I think I'm done rambling, but I have a bit of a non-sequitur to throw into this:
Guys, women aren't there to act as your own personal fantasy fodder. Chances are, 20 year old newbies aren't walking in the door to be pounced upon by the 45 year old guy who can speak of nothing but thinly veiled sexual suggestions. Girls are people (radical thought, I know!) - if you treat them as such, instead of conquests or aliens, your chances of not being seen as an uber-creep (and yes, there are many who walk amongst us, apparently oblivious to that fact) can rise.
And I'm spent.
Miss Courtney
And therein lies the difference between the internet generation and generations before - the internet generation doesn't have the patience to go through a test of fire, learning period, or a mentorship! With speed dating, instant messaging, etc, it's much more of an instant gratification vibe. Hell, newbies (of any age) want to be lauded as experts within 6 months of entering the scene - I think that's a problem when people who have been in the scene for a while see the cycle of newbies over and over. Burnout, anyone?
With 8 years under my belt in the scene, I'm definitely still a newbie in a lot of areas, but still in the TNG age group. Yup, I was stalked by the old-enough-to- be-my-grandfathe r predators, and played with some of them, simply because I saw no other option in the scene. Almost everyone was 20+ years older than I was, and I think that gap had both advantages and disadvantages to it. Part of me says to the newbies, "Suck it up, Buttercup - I had to go through it, and you do too.", but another part wants to try and help them through the minefield that are strewn about the innocuous restaurants in which munches are held.
I'm a believer in paying your dues, working for what you want, and being active in doing so. There are too many people who show up to their first munch and aren't immediately welcomed as a conquering hero, offered a perfect partner on a platter, and their choice of lube to immediately consummate their bravery in finding the scene. They leave, deciding that the scene is a waste of time. That kind of mentality can be a Darwinian selector, preventing idiots from mingling amongst us (Shock! Gasp!), but also keeps the shy, bashful or just plain scared from jumping into the fray. That's a double-edged sword, though - if you're not able to ask for what you want, chances are you won't get it.
I think I'm done rambling, but I have a bit of a non-sequitur to throw into this:
Guys, women aren't there to act as your own personal fantasy fodder. Chances are, 20 year old newbies aren't walking in the door to be pounced upon by the 45 year old guy who can speak of nothing but thinly veiled sexual suggestions. Girls are people (radical thought, I know!) - if you treat them as such, instead of conquests or aliens, your chances of not being seen as an uber-creep (and yes, there are many who walk amongst us, apparently oblivious to that fact) can rise.
And I'm spent.
Miss Courtney