May was a really long time ago....
I can't believe I haven't been on here since May. Pretty weird. I've kinda been using a blogger account, but not that much. I've just been really depressed since I moved here. I hate it. I haven't spoken to a lot of my friends in a long time because I'm just not happy. I haven't talked to Danielle since my birthday in July. I haven't talked to Laura since I moved, and I answer calls from John every once in a while. This isn't where I want to be by any means. I miss living in AZ, I miss my old job and I miss my friends from there. Like everyone here is like "where are you from" and I find myself saying "Arizona, and I can't wait to move back home" Strange, yet depressing. I thought I'd be better of living here. And when I moved here, I never expected a lot of things that have happened..to happen. The one person who for some reason I thought I could end up with...now the only time I think about him is "woah.. I haven't thought about him in a lonnngg time" It's weird to not have the same feelings I had 4 months ago.
I'm mad because I went from being able to pay all of my bills, to having 3 dollars in my checking account. I couldn't pay someone to hire me. There was a statistic on one of the resume websites that there were 300,000 Detroit Metro Area resumes and only 20,000 jobs available. I hate where I live, my room sucks even though it's painted. My parents are driving me to the brink of insanity. Though I did meet a few people through one person I know here and I got asked to Homecoming by some almost 18 year old weirdo...I'm not going because John will be there that weekend but if he wasn't...that old prom dress would have come out and I totally would have went to laugh and be able to go "yup..these kids have noooo idea what's about to happen to them"
So in the end, John will be here in 9 days, we're gonna stay here for a week and then we're gonna move back to AZ. I've been talking to people at work, so they're trying to find a way to get me back in there. Which will be great, I'll get to see everyone again and since it hasn't been a year, I'll get to restart with my benefits right away and not have to wait 3 months.
I won't get to spend the holidays with my family this year, but that's okay I suppose, it's a little depressing, but at the same time, you know that no one wants to be there anyways.
I've changed a lot over the last couple of months, and I'm sure I've probably lost a lot of friends by closing myself off. I'm not really proud of a lot of the things I've done, especially since I moved here. I just have a lot to work through now and hopefully I can start to get my shit together again once I move back to AZ. There's so much I want to do and so much I want to accomplish, I feel trapped.
I'm mad because I went from being able to pay all of my bills, to having 3 dollars in my checking account. I couldn't pay someone to hire me. There was a statistic on one of the resume websites that there were 300,000 Detroit Metro Area resumes and only 20,000 jobs available. I hate where I live, my room sucks even though it's painted. My parents are driving me to the brink of insanity. Though I did meet a few people through one person I know here and I got asked to Homecoming by some almost 18 year old weirdo...I'm not going because John will be there that weekend but if he wasn't...that old prom dress would have come out and I totally would have went to laugh and be able to go "yup..these kids have noooo idea what's about to happen to them"
So in the end, John will be here in 9 days, we're gonna stay here for a week and then we're gonna move back to AZ. I've been talking to people at work, so they're trying to find a way to get me back in there. Which will be great, I'll get to see everyone again and since it hasn't been a year, I'll get to restart with my benefits right away and not have to wait 3 months.
I won't get to spend the holidays with my family this year, but that's okay I suppose, it's a little depressing, but at the same time, you know that no one wants to be there anyways.
I've changed a lot over the last couple of months, and I'm sure I've probably lost a lot of friends by closing myself off. I'm not really proud of a lot of the things I've done, especially since I moved here. I just have a lot to work through now and hopefully I can start to get my shit together again once I move back to AZ. There's so much I want to do and so much I want to accomplish, I feel trapped.