Comments | countblastula: My Vietnamese New Year's Resolutions

countblastula

My Vietnamese New Year's Resolutions

Feb 01, 2006 13:14

#1. I hereby banish the word "The", in context with an adjective or a person's name. It is no longer funny. Replacing it with the even more loathsome "Teh" will earn you twice as much of a beating ( Read more... )

gripes, madlibs, time travel

Comments 46

chuck_con_pollo February 1 2006, 21:37:42 UTC

ADLIBS!!!!!! Except you aren't supposed to give me teh story - just the required nouns/adjectives/adverbs/verbs - you know. This just isn't going to work like this.

countblastula February 1 2006, 21:39:13 UTC

Yes, it's like reverse mad libs and you get a beating as soon as I catch you.

vovat February 2 2006, 19:38:14 UTC

But "story" is a COMMON noun, not a name or an adjective!

justbluemyself February 1 2006, 21:45:29 UTC

Once upon a time, after litter-box cleaning practice, a motion was made to pack 5 or 6 of us into emolame's artichoke and drive towards hot nude llamas. Loud unsightly prejudice indicated a fire alarm, which emolame thought a trip to the gas club air pump would infuriate. When we arrived, the tire was shredded into thousands of tiny gardens, melted into a liquid and sifted off the wheel. There was no known spare tire and the gas station people wouldn't dream of lambasting us, so emolame decided to call Triple X. Just at that moment , bohemianslacker discovered a spare tire in the baby, however we still needed a rifle and a cannibalistic governator. Luckily for us, a couple of transvestite missionaries were either hitting on or trying to convert other K-Mart customers and they happened to have the necessary halitosis. Not only that, but one of them actually changed the tire for us while the other one played a selection of urban vomit hits on the xylophone with opheliafloats accompanying on radiatoremolame's soul was saved, the rest of ( ... )

countblastula February 1 2006, 21:48:06 UTC

Excellent! Much better than the original version. From now on you will write all my journal entries for me.

justbluemyself February 1 2006, 21:50:30 UTC

Fabulous! I was inspired by a stinky kitty litter-box, the DVDs sitting in front of me, and the stupid fire alarm outside that keeps going off (though no one seems at all concerned about it, including me).

goldenmoonbear February 1 2006, 21:49:11 UTC

There is nothing better than hot nude llamas!

Thread 24

jamayia February 1 2006, 21:49:09 UTC

This makes no sense, and the letter counts are off, but it's what you get for thirty seconds of effort.

Once upon a time, after cabre tossing practice, a motion was made to pack 5 or 6 of us into emolame's carriage and drive towards hot springs. Loud unsightly hobos indicated a no-fly zone, which emolame thought a trip to the gas relieving air pump would amuse. When we arrived, the tire was shredded into thousands of tiny leprechauns, melted into a liquid and blown off the wheel. There was no known spare tire and the gas station people wouldn't dream of cheering us, so emolame decided to call Triple Sec. Just at that moment , bohemianslacker discovered a spare tire in the elephant, however we still needed a brain and a legal immigrant . Luckily for us, a couple of Spam missionaries were either eating beef or trying to convert other purple customers and they happened to have the necessary sporks. Not only that, but one of them actually changed the tire for us while the other one played a selection of Soul Train hits on the grape, with ( ... )

countblastula February 1 2006, 21:57:32 UTC

Wow, looks like we have a tie.

vovat February 2 2006, 19:43:34 UTC

Once upon a time, after cabre tossing practice

Okay, I SWEAR I didn't read this before coming up with the exact same words in my own version. I wonder if I have latent psychic abilities? {g}

jamayia February 2 2006, 20:40:33 UTC

Well, what other kind of practice is there?!

Thread 5

Let's see... enemabagjones February 1 2006, 22:18:05 UTC

I hope I'm not accidentally ripping anyone off; I haven't read other responses yet; ready, okay:

Once upon a time, after GOAT-MILKING practice, a motion was made to pack 5 or 6 of us into emolame's PANTS and drive towards hot LAVA. Loud unsightly LIVESTOCK indicated a PAR-TAY, which emolame thought a trip to the gas INDUCING air pump would LIVEN UP. When we arrived, the tire was shredded into thousands of tiny PINK HEARTS, melted into a liquid and IT PISSED off the wheel. There was no known spare tire and the gas station people wouldn't dream of KISSING us, so emolame decided to call Triple 6. Just at that moment , bohemianslacker discovered a spare tire in the GUT OF A FAT DUDE, however we still needed a SYRINGE and a NICE SPOON. Luckily for us, a couple of HEROIN missionaries were either SHOOTING UP or trying to convert other WEED customers and they happened to have the necessary PARAPHERNALIA. Not only that, but one of them actually changed the tire for us while the other one played a selection of GUNS 'N' ROSES hits on the ( ... )

Re: Let's see... countblastula February 1 2006, 22:21:20 UTC

It's scary how much this sounds like the actual story. You must have been there, right?

Re: Let's see... enemabagjones February 1 2006, 22:24:44 UTC

I was shooting up between my toes with the fat guy.

Re: Let's see... enemabagjones February 1 2006, 22:25:01 UTC

Who, um, was too fat to reach his own feet, so I helped.

Thread 6

zimbra1006 February 2 2006, 02:21:57 UTC

I heartily agree with your #1.

I would participate in your game except I remember that original entry too well, so I wouldn't think of anything funny. Well, funnier than the original, anyway.

countblastula February 2 2006, 17:45:13 UTC

>I heartily agree with your #1.

In your case I'll still let you use it, but only if you're making fun of foreigners.