Everything I learned, I learned from videogames.
I just finished God of War, which is a fantastic game. And it taught me a lot, too. A few of the things I learned.
1. Pots. Must. Die.
I used to mourn the loss of our clay smoking pot at the house, but now I realize that the fucking pot had it coming, being all potty and stuff. We should've cracked it earlier.
2. Athenians are dumb motherfuckers.
OK, so the God of War is attacking your town, right? There are monsters roaming around killing people. There is a hulking, ash white Spartan Warrior attacking these beasts by swinging blades on chains at them. So what do you do? Obviously the safest place is right in between the Spartan and the enemies he's attacking. I can't tell you how many Athenians I killed while trying to kill Minotaurs, Harpies and the like. They like just ran in circles between me and the enemies.
3. The best way to please a woman is...
Circle, circle, triangle, square, half turn, half turn, full turn.
1. Pots. Must. Die.
I used to mourn the loss of our clay smoking pot at the house, but now I realize that the fucking pot had it coming, being all potty and stuff. We should've cracked it earlier.
2. Athenians are dumb motherfuckers.
OK, so the God of War is attacking your town, right? There are monsters roaming around killing people. There is a hulking, ash white Spartan Warrior attacking these beasts by swinging blades on chains at them. So what do you do? Obviously the safest place is right in between the Spartan and the enemies he's attacking. I can't tell you how many Athenians I killed while trying to kill Minotaurs, Harpies and the like. They like just ran in circles between me and the enemies.
3. The best way to please a woman is...
Circle, circle, triangle, square, half turn, half turn, full turn.