Sher......Once Again.....Putting Me In My Place...
this is her response to some of the latest writings i sent...im keeping this for my own good..so that i may look on it later and be reminded of what i learned from her this past xmas....apparently only she has the balls to tell me these things...once again..therapists dont do shit:
I read what you wrote, and frankly I do not think it is the best thing you have ever written, although I really liked the waterfall metaphor. That's a very good, piece of writing. If you ask me, I think you are too enamored with the "idea" of making art on drugs...in the real universe you can do better, and that is my being honest with you. I have seen you paint better and write better while not under the influence....drugs make you think you are doing something spectacular, but through the eyes of those not chemically changed, your "spectacular" is just in your head; is part, only, of your own sensations, and no one else's. That is why drugs ultimately destroy people who want to have a life in the society of others. Drugs are a very selfish experience. They make you twirl in your own importance and among your own experiences. No one else can experience exactly what you are, even in your company, "stoned" with you. Think about it. A room full of stoned people is a room full of individual, self-revolving universes. Interaction on a meaningful level is forced to occur outside the drug , otherwise, you spin inside your sensations. Take it from one who has been there and knows.
Creating life by oneself is not about some "tragic image" (like the Catholic girl who moves to New York and hangs out with the wrong crowd), but it is about making a difference in your own life and the life of others. You are still young, immature and enamored with the "dark-side of looking back" and creating an interesting "film" to talk about from your experiences. I almost get the feeling that you would not feel "interesting" enough to other people, if you didn't have these outrageous stories to tell. Aahh, but that's the trick....being interesting by being INTERESTED! It's the difference between the "do'ers" and the "talkers." The Do'ers "DO" and the talkers "TALK." The question is, "how much do you talk about yourself, instead of just doing and having that be enough? Some food for thought while you are looking at why you do what you do.
You see, I think it is much harder to do life "straight" then "stoned." It requires much more work, much more real creativity, and it requires sensitivity to others. Getting stoned is fun once in awhile, for the pure sensation of changing realities, but to do life stoned, well, that's just a cop-out in my opinion. I was glad to see you realized this yourself, as I think it is vitally important to understand that the cosmos are inside us, and the only way we can release them to make an impact on the world, and on ourselves, is to CREATE. That may mean creating relationships, creating art, creating space, creating love....it comes in many forms, but it is ultimately about creating lasting...
I read what you wrote, and frankly I do not think it is the best thing you have ever written, although I really liked the waterfall metaphor. That's a very good, piece of writing. If you ask me, I think you are too enamored with the "idea" of making art on drugs...in the real universe you can do better, and that is my being honest with you. I have seen you paint better and write better while not under the influence....drugs make you think you are doing something spectacular, but through the eyes of those not chemically changed, your "spectacular" is just in your head; is part, only, of your own sensations, and no one else's. That is why drugs ultimately destroy people who want to have a life in the society of others. Drugs are a very selfish experience. They make you twirl in your own importance and among your own experiences. No one else can experience exactly what you are, even in your company, "stoned" with you. Think about it. A room full of stoned people is a room full of individual, self-revolving universes. Interaction on a meaningful level is forced to occur outside the drug , otherwise, you spin inside your sensations. Take it from one who has been there and knows.
Creating life by oneself is not about some "tragic image" (like the Catholic girl who moves to New York and hangs out with the wrong crowd), but it is about making a difference in your own life and the life of others. You are still young, immature and enamored with the "dark-side of looking back" and creating an interesting "film" to talk about from your experiences. I almost get the feeling that you would not feel "interesting" enough to other people, if you didn't have these outrageous stories to tell. Aahh, but that's the trick....being interesting by being INTERESTED! It's the difference between the "do'ers" and the "talkers." The Do'ers "DO" and the talkers "TALK." The question is, "how much do you talk about yourself, instead of just doing and having that be enough? Some food for thought while you are looking at why you do what you do.
You see, I think it is much harder to do life "straight" then "stoned." It requires much more work, much more real creativity, and it requires sensitivity to others. Getting stoned is fun once in awhile, for the pure sensation of changing realities, but to do life stoned, well, that's just a cop-out in my opinion. I was glad to see you realized this yourself, as I think it is vitally important to understand that the cosmos are inside us, and the only way we can release them to make an impact on the world, and on ourselves, is to CREATE. That may mean creating relationships, creating art, creating space, creating love....it comes in many forms, but it is ultimately about creating lasting...