(no subject)
Slight problem: I've come to realize that I really don't think I'm cut out for nursing. The only type of nursing I'm interested in is labor and delivery, and the odds of getting into that field are very slim. Nursing is no longer the sure bet to get a job anymore. It's actually really hard to get a nursing job at all - let alone in a specific specialty like L & D. Labor and delivery is an aspect of nursing that people really want, and it's really hard to get into, not just around here but everywhere.
I could start out in a different aspect of nursing and pay my dues, but the problem is that I really, really intensely do not want to do any other aspect of nursing. The most opportunity for new nurses is in nursing homes. J's grandma is in a nursing home for a short period while she is recovering from knee surgery and we went to visit her the other night. It's actually a very nice nursing home, but I completely freaked out by it. There were old people in wheelchairs in the hallway with their heads lolling to the side and drooling. There was one aggressive old lady who clearly had dementia who wandered into J's grandma's room; she told me she thought she'd wet her dress and wanted me to check. I just knew that there was no way ever that I wanted to work in a nursing home. We went back today to see her for Christmas and my reaction was just as strong. I can't even handle being in there for an hour, let alone for a clinical rotation.
Here's the thing: I don't really have the qualities you need to be a nurse. I don't want to take care of people. In theory I have compassion for them but I don't like the idea of actually doing it. I want to help deliver babies, or diagnose illnesses. I don't like caring for sick people, I think it's icky. I don't like getting yelled at and I take insults very personally, and I've been told that you have to deal with it a lot as a nurse.
I don't know what to do now. I decided that ultrasound would be a good alternative - especially because the official name of the program is "Diagnostic Medical Sonographer." I could still do diagnosis. Maybe work in an OB office to perform ultrasounds on pregnant women. I need fewer classes for this than for nursing. I went ahead and switched my classes. Here's the problem though: the job outlook isn't any better for ultrasound tech than nursing. And even worse, there are only 14 slots in the program each year, you have to compete for a spot and the clinical sites may not even be in the area. The clinical sites may not even be in STATE.
I just feel lost, and desperate. J's mom thinks I should still go for nursing because that's where the money is and she thinks I'll get into an easy aspect of nursing. My mom thinks ultrasound tech is a great way to go. I just don't want to invest more time and money into a degree program and not get a job. J's been out of school for 8 months and still hasn't gotten a job. It's been 3 years since my graduation, but I know I couldn't expect much from a sociology degree. But with J's major in accounting we expected him to be able to get a job, and it's scary that he hasn't. We can't pay his loans on his current salary but because he's employed, he can't get deferments. I just want a full-time job that pays decently that I can reasonably handle. I don't have to love it. But I also feel like most aspects of nursing aren't even going to be tolerable. I like this idea of ultrasound but I am scared of the idea of commuting long distances or having to live in another state for 6 months at a time to finish the program - especially if I can't even get a job at the end. If I were to do what I love, I'd get a master's in sociology and teach adjunct classes, but that's not practical and doesn't pay well. The problem is that now the more practical programs don't guarantee a job anymore either. Everyone else wants to go into a healthcare field for the money too and the market is flooded.
I'd really like to move out of this area and I've accepted that I may need to be trained for a different career to do it. We thought J's degree would get us out of here but it's not paying off so far. I hate to accept that this is all I can do, but I'm terrified to think of going back to school for something else that won't pay off.
I could start out in a different aspect of nursing and pay my dues, but the problem is that I really, really intensely do not want to do any other aspect of nursing. The most opportunity for new nurses is in nursing homes. J's grandma is in a nursing home for a short period while she is recovering from knee surgery and we went to visit her the other night. It's actually a very nice nursing home, but I completely freaked out by it. There were old people in wheelchairs in the hallway with their heads lolling to the side and drooling. There was one aggressive old lady who clearly had dementia who wandered into J's grandma's room; she told me she thought she'd wet her dress and wanted me to check. I just knew that there was no way ever that I wanted to work in a nursing home. We went back today to see her for Christmas and my reaction was just as strong. I can't even handle being in there for an hour, let alone for a clinical rotation.
Here's the thing: I don't really have the qualities you need to be a nurse. I don't want to take care of people. In theory I have compassion for them but I don't like the idea of actually doing it. I want to help deliver babies, or diagnose illnesses. I don't like caring for sick people, I think it's icky. I don't like getting yelled at and I take insults very personally, and I've been told that you have to deal with it a lot as a nurse.
I don't know what to do now. I decided that ultrasound would be a good alternative - especially because the official name of the program is "Diagnostic Medical Sonographer." I could still do diagnosis. Maybe work in an OB office to perform ultrasounds on pregnant women. I need fewer classes for this than for nursing. I went ahead and switched my classes. Here's the problem though: the job outlook isn't any better for ultrasound tech than nursing. And even worse, there are only 14 slots in the program each year, you have to compete for a spot and the clinical sites may not even be in the area. The clinical sites may not even be in STATE.
I just feel lost, and desperate. J's mom thinks I should still go for nursing because that's where the money is and she thinks I'll get into an easy aspect of nursing. My mom thinks ultrasound tech is a great way to go. I just don't want to invest more time and money into a degree program and not get a job. J's been out of school for 8 months and still hasn't gotten a job. It's been 3 years since my graduation, but I know I couldn't expect much from a sociology degree. But with J's major in accounting we expected him to be able to get a job, and it's scary that he hasn't. We can't pay his loans on his current salary but because he's employed, he can't get deferments. I just want a full-time job that pays decently that I can reasonably handle. I don't have to love it. But I also feel like most aspects of nursing aren't even going to be tolerable. I like this idea of ultrasound but I am scared of the idea of commuting long distances or having to live in another state for 6 months at a time to finish the program - especially if I can't even get a job at the end. If I were to do what I love, I'd get a master's in sociology and teach adjunct classes, but that's not practical and doesn't pay well. The problem is that now the more practical programs don't guarantee a job anymore either. Everyone else wants to go into a healthcare field for the money too and the market is flooded.
I'd really like to move out of this area and I've accepted that I may need to be trained for a different career to do it. We thought J's degree would get us out of here but it's not paying off so far. I hate to accept that this is all I can do, but I'm terrified to think of going back to school for something else that won't pay off.