(no subject)
My social phobia has gotten worse in the past year or two, to the point where I go out of my way to avoid people, especially people I don't know. I've started to realize this is probably bad for me, so I'm tentatively trying to do something about it even though it's really difficult.
I had an opportunity to attend an event at a neighboring parish tonight. It was for women only and was to celebrate the beginning of Advent, and had time for both social gathering and food as well as a reflective talk from a guest speaker. I didn't really want to go and came up with a million reasons why I should not. At the top of my list of reasons not to go were the fact that I only knew one person there and felt that the other women would all be ultra-conservative and I'd feel out of place. I don't really have a lot of friends at church, in large part because I fear "churchy" people. I often sense that I'm too liberal for them, especially because I attend a more traditional church.
But I finally decided not to assume things about these people - either about what they would be like or what they would think of me. And it was actually quite good, and I felt like they liked me well enough. They weren't instant best friends but I'm sure some of them would become friends if we saw each other more often. Nobody was as conservative as I thought; in fact any of the topics I thought would be difficult didn't even come up. They didn't treat me like I'm weird. Just because some people I know do treat me like I'm weird doesn't mean everyone will.
It would probably be really good for me if I could have more social contacts and meet new people more often. I'm way too isolated and this isn't a good thing. I just hope that having more social contacts won't mean I have to become one of those people who's always on the phone. :)
I had an opportunity to attend an event at a neighboring parish tonight. It was for women only and was to celebrate the beginning of Advent, and had time for both social gathering and food as well as a reflective talk from a guest speaker. I didn't really want to go and came up with a million reasons why I should not. At the top of my list of reasons not to go were the fact that I only knew one person there and felt that the other women would all be ultra-conservative and I'd feel out of place. I don't really have a lot of friends at church, in large part because I fear "churchy" people. I often sense that I'm too liberal for them, especially because I attend a more traditional church.
But I finally decided not to assume things about these people - either about what they would be like or what they would think of me. And it was actually quite good, and I felt like they liked me well enough. They weren't instant best friends but I'm sure some of them would become friends if we saw each other more often. Nobody was as conservative as I thought; in fact any of the topics I thought would be difficult didn't even come up. They didn't treat me like I'm weird. Just because some people I know do treat me like I'm weird doesn't mean everyone will.
It would probably be really good for me if I could have more social contacts and meet new people more often. I'm way too isolated and this isn't a good thing. I just hope that having more social contacts won't mean I have to become one of those people who's always on the phone. :)