Christmas Spirits (Part 2)
Title: Christmas Spirits
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Dan/Jones
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dan and Jones go to Claire’s for Christmas
Author’s note: Holiday craziness and illness have been slowing me down, but dammit, Dan will learn the meaning of Christmas. Or something like that.
2014
House of Jones
Dan woke to the sound of his phone screaming at him. Although he never bothered personalizing his ring tones, he still felt that Claire’s ring was somehow angrier and more judgmental than anyone else’s.
He refused the call and staggered to the kitchen where a pot of coffee was already brewing. Jones was happily dancing around the table and eating cereal.
Dan could barely manage a nod, but Jones greeted him with his usual effusive grin.
“You better get showered, we’re supposed to be at Claire’s in an hour.”
Dan wondered why Claire was already calling if they weren’t even late yet. After four years, going to Claire’s on Christmas day felt like a longstanding tradition, one Dan no longer dreaded.
Except his phone was ringing again. Dan reluctantly answered, “Merry Christmas, little sister…”
“Are you actually mental? Should I just have you put in a home now instead of watching you slowly decline? Please tell me now, so I can start the process.”
Dan’s mind creaked along, trying to make sense of his sister’s current rant. He noticed a bit of dried blood on his knuckles and vaguely remembered a tussle with a Christmas tree.
“Is this about… the tree?”
“The tree? Is this about the tree? Dan, the tree can’t have you arrested. The tree doesn’t have a video of you trying to kill it with your bare hands!”
Dan took a drink of very hot coffee and let the pain and caffeine waken his sleepy brain.
“Is this about me trying to strangle Nathan Barley?”
“Yes, Dan. This is about the attempted murder, recorded by Pingu in front of hundreds of witnesses, including me. You could go to prison, Dan.”
Dan tried to imagine a world so unfair as to imprison a man for killing Nathan Barley instead of giving him a medal. Dan could be a bit misanthropic, but he had more faith in his fellow humans than to think they would be so cruelly unjust.
“Listen, Claire, it’s fine and I have to get ready for Christmas lunch at your house…”
“We’ll talk more when you get here,” Claire snapped before hanging up. Dan sighed and put his head on the table.
“What’s got Claire riled up?” Jones asked between bites of cereal.
“She’s worried I’m going to jail for trying to kill Nathan Barley. The usual.”
Jones nodded his understanding and continued to eat, all in time with the music in his head.
“Are the gifts ready?” Dan asked.
Jones grinned, “They are genius!”
Xxx
House of Jones
1994
Dan woke up on a stranger’s couch on Christmas morning. It was his first Christmas properly away from home. He’d lived at home while going to University and even while working his first writing job as a music critic for a small local magazine. When, against all odds, he landed a job at Sugar Ape, it meant leaving the nest for the first time.
He told his parents he couldn’t come home for Christmas, because he was too busy getting established at work to leave. The truth was, he was afraid if he went home to Leeds, he’d end up staying there. The call of his home and family, properly cooked meals and friends tempted him day and night. Each time Claire opined that she wanted to join him in Shoreditch, Dan was tempted to encourage her to do just that. Sometimes he fantasized about having his teenage sister around for company, he was that desperately lonely.
So, in that way, it was a pleasant surprise to wake up in a stranger’s home on Christmas morning. At least, he wasn’t alone.
His host was passed out on the floor next to a small DJ set up, but he appeared to be breathing, so Dan went in search of coffee. He’d have time for small talk, like learning the name of his host, after he had enough caffeine in his system to think straight.
Xxx
A Place that isn’t Shoreditch
2014
Claire’s decision to become a mum had been surprising in many ways, and yet it seemed to suit her well. In her thirties and with her biological clock ticking, Claire had decided it was time to live “any place that isn’t Shoreditch” and raise a child. As she was not seeing anyone, was not especially interested in anyone, and didn’t want to be a single mother, she went about finding a co-parent.
Dan had been initially horrified, but Claire had taken a genetic roll of the dice with Ned Smanks, and the gamble paid off. Her little girl, Maya, had Claire’s fiery personality and intelligence and seemed to only inherit her huge puff of hair and flawless skin from her father.
Dan didn’t understand the situation, nor did he want to. Claire and Ned shared a house and a child, and a budding graphic design company. They were together nearly 24 hours a day, but if anyone asked if they were a couple, Claire made it excessively clear that they were not (Ned seemed less sure).
Ned was an attentive father and a moderately talented artist, and most importantly, he was not Nathan Barley. Dan reluctantly accepted that it was none of his business. Claire told Dan when to show up at her house and when to bring presents for his niece. It was nice to have someone demystify the process of social reciprocity.
Jones clearly had a literal caffeine buzz. He seemed to vibrate with nervous energy as he stood beside Dan. He’d started dancing by the time Ned and Maya answered the door. Father and daughter had both adorned their hair with garland and tinsel and other assorted Christmas decorations. Dan wondered which one of them came up with the idea. It was such a profoundly childish thing to do, Dan’s money was on Ned.
“Presents!” Maya yelled as she reached for the shiny packages in Jones’s hands. Jones had painted tinfoil to use for wrapping paper when they belatedly remembered they needed to wrap Maya’s gifts. Maya’s childhood was non-conventional in so many ways, Claire liked to introduce as much normality as possible into her daughter’s existence. When Uncle Dan showed up for Christmas with his non-euphemistic flat mate, Jones, he needed to have properly wrapped gifts. Claire always offered to pay for the gifts or even buy and wrap them herself, but Dan had just enough dignity left to refuse. Jones was allowed to bring whatever he liked, and he’d made some lovely gifts for Maya over the years. Every year, Claire looked terrified when Jones handed over a parcel, and it was something of a Christmas tradition to watch her nervously unwrap the gifts and then melt when she realized they weren’t wildly inappropriate.
Sometimes, sitting in Claire’s tastefully appointed home and being called Uncle Dan, Dan imagined what it would be like if Jones was his life partner (in the Biblical sense). Now that he was in his forties, Dan found it would probably be easier to cope with suddenly identifying as bisexual than admitting he still needed a flat mate and probably always would. Dan was never going to grow up, and it wasn’t nearly the fun Peter Pan made it out to be.
Jones handed Maya the top package.
“You can open this one now, it’s from me. The other has to wait until your mum says you can have it.”
Maya squealed with delight and tore open the gift. Jones had given the dark haired Barbie Claire’s distinctive, furrowed brow and dressed her in a sensible outfit. The pipe cleaners were gone from the little girl doll, and her hair was now a huge puff of curls.
“We’re Barbies!” Maya screamed. “Mummy! We’re Barbies! You are NOT going to believe this. WE ARE BARBIES!”
Dan was humbled by Jones’s gift. As always, Jones had seen a whole world that Dan was blind to.
Jones laughed as Maya ran out of the room, screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Maybe you should have saved that gift,” Dan whispered, suddenly feeling intimidated by the judgment of a five-year-old.
But Jones laughed and gave Dan a playful shove.
“No worries, Uncle Dan.” Jones tapped the remaining parcel. “This gift is golden. You totally nailed Christmas this year. Genius.”
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Dan/Jones
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dan and Jones go to Claire’s for Christmas
Author’s note: Holiday craziness and illness have been slowing me down, but dammit, Dan will learn the meaning of Christmas. Or something like that.
2014
House of Jones
Dan woke to the sound of his phone screaming at him. Although he never bothered personalizing his ring tones, he still felt that Claire’s ring was somehow angrier and more judgmental than anyone else’s.
He refused the call and staggered to the kitchen where a pot of coffee was already brewing. Jones was happily dancing around the table and eating cereal.
Dan could barely manage a nod, but Jones greeted him with his usual effusive grin.
“You better get showered, we’re supposed to be at Claire’s in an hour.”
Dan wondered why Claire was already calling if they weren’t even late yet. After four years, going to Claire’s on Christmas day felt like a longstanding tradition, one Dan no longer dreaded.
Except his phone was ringing again. Dan reluctantly answered, “Merry Christmas, little sister…”
“Are you actually mental? Should I just have you put in a home now instead of watching you slowly decline? Please tell me now, so I can start the process.”
Dan’s mind creaked along, trying to make sense of his sister’s current rant. He noticed a bit of dried blood on his knuckles and vaguely remembered a tussle with a Christmas tree.
“Is this about… the tree?”
“The tree? Is this about the tree? Dan, the tree can’t have you arrested. The tree doesn’t have a video of you trying to kill it with your bare hands!”
Dan took a drink of very hot coffee and let the pain and caffeine waken his sleepy brain.
“Is this about me trying to strangle Nathan Barley?”
“Yes, Dan. This is about the attempted murder, recorded by Pingu in front of hundreds of witnesses, including me. You could go to prison, Dan.”
Dan tried to imagine a world so unfair as to imprison a man for killing Nathan Barley instead of giving him a medal. Dan could be a bit misanthropic, but he had more faith in his fellow humans than to think they would be so cruelly unjust.
“Listen, Claire, it’s fine and I have to get ready for Christmas lunch at your house…”
“We’ll talk more when you get here,” Claire snapped before hanging up. Dan sighed and put his head on the table.
“What’s got Claire riled up?” Jones asked between bites of cereal.
“She’s worried I’m going to jail for trying to kill Nathan Barley. The usual.”
Jones nodded his understanding and continued to eat, all in time with the music in his head.
“Are the gifts ready?” Dan asked.
Jones grinned, “They are genius!”
Xxx
House of Jones
1994
Dan woke up on a stranger’s couch on Christmas morning. It was his first Christmas properly away from home. He’d lived at home while going to University and even while working his first writing job as a music critic for a small local magazine. When, against all odds, he landed a job at Sugar Ape, it meant leaving the nest for the first time.
He told his parents he couldn’t come home for Christmas, because he was too busy getting established at work to leave. The truth was, he was afraid if he went home to Leeds, he’d end up staying there. The call of his home and family, properly cooked meals and friends tempted him day and night. Each time Claire opined that she wanted to join him in Shoreditch, Dan was tempted to encourage her to do just that. Sometimes he fantasized about having his teenage sister around for company, he was that desperately lonely.
So, in that way, it was a pleasant surprise to wake up in a stranger’s home on Christmas morning. At least, he wasn’t alone.
His host was passed out on the floor next to a small DJ set up, but he appeared to be breathing, so Dan went in search of coffee. He’d have time for small talk, like learning the name of his host, after he had enough caffeine in his system to think straight.
Xxx
A Place that isn’t Shoreditch
2014
Claire’s decision to become a mum had been surprising in many ways, and yet it seemed to suit her well. In her thirties and with her biological clock ticking, Claire had decided it was time to live “any place that isn’t Shoreditch” and raise a child. As she was not seeing anyone, was not especially interested in anyone, and didn’t want to be a single mother, she went about finding a co-parent.
Dan had been initially horrified, but Claire had taken a genetic roll of the dice with Ned Smanks, and the gamble paid off. Her little girl, Maya, had Claire’s fiery personality and intelligence and seemed to only inherit her huge puff of hair and flawless skin from her father.
Dan didn’t understand the situation, nor did he want to. Claire and Ned shared a house and a child, and a budding graphic design company. They were together nearly 24 hours a day, but if anyone asked if they were a couple, Claire made it excessively clear that they were not (Ned seemed less sure).
Ned was an attentive father and a moderately talented artist, and most importantly, he was not Nathan Barley. Dan reluctantly accepted that it was none of his business. Claire told Dan when to show up at her house and when to bring presents for his niece. It was nice to have someone demystify the process of social reciprocity.
Jones clearly had a literal caffeine buzz. He seemed to vibrate with nervous energy as he stood beside Dan. He’d started dancing by the time Ned and Maya answered the door. Father and daughter had both adorned their hair with garland and tinsel and other assorted Christmas decorations. Dan wondered which one of them came up with the idea. It was such a profoundly childish thing to do, Dan’s money was on Ned.
“Presents!” Maya yelled as she reached for the shiny packages in Jones’s hands. Jones had painted tinfoil to use for wrapping paper when they belatedly remembered they needed to wrap Maya’s gifts. Maya’s childhood was non-conventional in so many ways, Claire liked to introduce as much normality as possible into her daughter’s existence. When Uncle Dan showed up for Christmas with his non-euphemistic flat mate, Jones, he needed to have properly wrapped gifts. Claire always offered to pay for the gifts or even buy and wrap them herself, but Dan had just enough dignity left to refuse. Jones was allowed to bring whatever he liked, and he’d made some lovely gifts for Maya over the years. Every year, Claire looked terrified when Jones handed over a parcel, and it was something of a Christmas tradition to watch her nervously unwrap the gifts and then melt when she realized they weren’t wildly inappropriate.
Sometimes, sitting in Claire’s tastefully appointed home and being called Uncle Dan, Dan imagined what it would be like if Jones was his life partner (in the Biblical sense). Now that he was in his forties, Dan found it would probably be easier to cope with suddenly identifying as bisexual than admitting he still needed a flat mate and probably always would. Dan was never going to grow up, and it wasn’t nearly the fun Peter Pan made it out to be.
Jones handed Maya the top package.
“You can open this one now, it’s from me. The other has to wait until your mum says you can have it.”
Maya squealed with delight and tore open the gift. Jones had given the dark haired Barbie Claire’s distinctive, furrowed brow and dressed her in a sensible outfit. The pipe cleaners were gone from the little girl doll, and her hair was now a huge puff of curls.
“We’re Barbies!” Maya screamed. “Mummy! We’re Barbies! You are NOT going to believe this. WE ARE BARBIES!”
Dan was humbled by Jones’s gift. As always, Jones had seen a whole world that Dan was blind to.
Jones laughed as Maya ran out of the room, screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Maybe you should have saved that gift,” Dan whispered, suddenly feeling intimidated by the judgment of a five-year-old.
But Jones laughed and gave Dan a playful shove.
“No worries, Uncle Dan.” Jones tapped the remaining parcel. “This gift is golden. You totally nailed Christmas this year. Genius.”