Christmas Spirits (Part 1)
Title: Christmas Spirits
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Dan/Jones
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Warnings: excessive drinking, violence
Summary: I had requests for fluffy Jones/Dan (meeplegirl), a first and recent Christmas (acastetter) and Dan and Jones first Christmas together (lliquidblue). What I have created is a parallel of the first and most recent Christmas in an effort to see if Dan is in fact capable of learning how to be happy.
Author’s note: It was meant to be a one-off, but it’s probably going to be three chapters. I wanted to at least post something for Christmas after promising I’d have something written.
2014
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan Ashcroft was full of the Christmas spirit, and while that was probably due to all the spirits sloshing around in his stomach, he was still having a damn good time at the Sugar Ape Christmas party. Jonatton Yeah?’s latest plan to torture Dan had turned out to be one of his best ideas. Every month, Jonatton sent Dan to some new trendy restaurant or to see some idiot artist and Dan wrote a scathing review. People were begging to be reviewed by Dan, because of all the “ironic” interest his reviews stirred. Dan was making good money by being a miserable git. He was living the dream.
Plus, his mother had sent him his annual wardrobe early, so he had new clothes that fit properly. While Dan was aware that a person’s size changed as they gained or lost weight, he had never quite worked out how to apply it to himself. He just wore his clothes until they fell apart and accepted that some would hug his midsection in an unflattering way or that his trousers would either fall off or cut off his circulation. Every year, when his mother managed to send clothes that fit appropriately, Dan was quietly amazed.
Meanwhile, everything she sent Claire was two sizes too large and looked like something the church organist would wear to service. So Dan was looking sharp in a new blazer and a nice stripy button down shirt over a pink tee-shirt. Claire called the color ‘salmon’, but Dan preferred to leave fish right out of his wardrobe. He resolved to wear more pink, as Sasha had called it a good color for Dan and Claire had posted a picture of him on her Instagram - the one she let their parents know about. It was good to take a break from being the walking disaster once in a while.
Dan was feeling warm and loose and ready to make some new friends when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He stared at his reflection; a reflection which made him look a bit slighter and maybe a bit blond.
He waved at the reflection, and eventually it waved back, but it was for too eager and enthusiastic. Then it started dancing.
Dan walked towards his reflection, hoping it was just the booze blurring his vision, but he could see Pingu standing by with his camera. It really was Nathan Barley, dressed head-to-toe like Dan.
“Looking sharp!” Nathan yelled before laughing boisterously at his own joke.
Dan was vaguely aware that he was knocking over a Christmas tree as he and his prey fell to the ground, but his hands were around Nathan Barley’s neck and that was the only thing that mattered.
Xxx
1994
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan tried to look at ease on his own, like the kind of person who didn’t need to be part of a group to feel secure. The open bar was helping.
“Oi, beanpole!”
Dan instinctively turned around. The DJ was waving for him to come closer. Dan wasn’t sure if the DJ was a boy or a girl or an actual woodland nymph, but the DJ had bright blue eyes that pulled Dan forward.
“Parched, mate,” the DJ yelled. “Help me out!”
Dan handed his drink to the DJ, who shrugged before shooting the rest of Dan’s whiskey and soda.
The DJ returned his focus to the tables, and Dan realized he should have gotten the DJ his own drink. What kind of socially awkward dickhead would hand a stranger his own drink? Dan fucking Ashcroft: King of the Awkward dickheads.
Xxx
2014
The House of Jones
Dan Ashcroft: King of the Idiots was bleeding all over his front door until Jones came to the rescue.
Jones looked him up and down.
“Nathan Barley?”
Dan collapsed into Jones’s arms and allowed himself to be dragged to the couch. He flopped down on his side and found himself staring at two of the most recent additions to Jones’s Barbie doll collection. One was an adult with dark hair, big dark eyes and no eyebrows. The other was a little Black Barbie, who appeared to be somewhere around five and had her hair was twisted up in pipe cleaners.
“Why are her eyebrows gone?” Dan asked. The dolls were making him feel panicky.
“I need to redraw them,” Jones explained as he put a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dishtowel on Dan’s temple. Then he picked up the little girl doll, “Now I need to boil her head for a few seconds.”
Dan closed his eyes, unable to handle reality (or what passed for reality in Shoreditch) for one more moment.
Xxx
1994
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan brought the DJ a fresh whiskey and soda, and a bottle of water from the bar. Up close, he was clearly a man, and a pretty one at that. His face lit up at Dan’s gifts of beverage and it made Dan feel good. He had managed to negotiate a social situation with a modicum of skill. He felt almost like a proper adult rather than a child playing dress up. Then Dan crashed on one of the office sofas, because he was too drunk to stand. He wondered if he’d ever be able to keep up with the crowd at Sugar Ape.
It was Jones that woke him up. The music had stopped and most of the people were gone. Dan leaned on Jones as he stumbled out of the office. Dan couldn’t remember his address, so he spent the night at Jones’s squat. Despite all the creepy toys, Dan felt more comfortable on the couch in Jones’s than he’d ever felt in his own tiny apartment. When he asked if he could live there forever, Jones shrugged and said, “Genius.”
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Dan/Jones
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Warnings: excessive drinking, violence
Summary: I had requests for fluffy Jones/Dan (meeplegirl), a first and recent Christmas (acastetter) and Dan and Jones first Christmas together (lliquidblue). What I have created is a parallel of the first and most recent Christmas in an effort to see if Dan is in fact capable of learning how to be happy.
Author’s note: It was meant to be a one-off, but it’s probably going to be three chapters. I wanted to at least post something for Christmas after promising I’d have something written.
2014
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan Ashcroft was full of the Christmas spirit, and while that was probably due to all the spirits sloshing around in his stomach, he was still having a damn good time at the Sugar Ape Christmas party. Jonatton Yeah?’s latest plan to torture Dan had turned out to be one of his best ideas. Every month, Jonatton sent Dan to some new trendy restaurant or to see some idiot artist and Dan wrote a scathing review. People were begging to be reviewed by Dan, because of all the “ironic” interest his reviews stirred. Dan was making good money by being a miserable git. He was living the dream.
Plus, his mother had sent him his annual wardrobe early, so he had new clothes that fit properly. While Dan was aware that a person’s size changed as they gained or lost weight, he had never quite worked out how to apply it to himself. He just wore his clothes until they fell apart and accepted that some would hug his midsection in an unflattering way or that his trousers would either fall off or cut off his circulation. Every year, when his mother managed to send clothes that fit appropriately, Dan was quietly amazed.
Meanwhile, everything she sent Claire was two sizes too large and looked like something the church organist would wear to service. So Dan was looking sharp in a new blazer and a nice stripy button down shirt over a pink tee-shirt. Claire called the color ‘salmon’, but Dan preferred to leave fish right out of his wardrobe. He resolved to wear more pink, as Sasha had called it a good color for Dan and Claire had posted a picture of him on her Instagram - the one she let their parents know about. It was good to take a break from being the walking disaster once in a while.
Dan was feeling warm and loose and ready to make some new friends when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He stared at his reflection; a reflection which made him look a bit slighter and maybe a bit blond.
He waved at the reflection, and eventually it waved back, but it was for too eager and enthusiastic. Then it started dancing.
Dan walked towards his reflection, hoping it was just the booze blurring his vision, but he could see Pingu standing by with his camera. It really was Nathan Barley, dressed head-to-toe like Dan.
“Looking sharp!” Nathan yelled before laughing boisterously at his own joke.
Dan was vaguely aware that he was knocking over a Christmas tree as he and his prey fell to the ground, but his hands were around Nathan Barley’s neck and that was the only thing that mattered.
Xxx
1994
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan tried to look at ease on his own, like the kind of person who didn’t need to be part of a group to feel secure. The open bar was helping.
“Oi, beanpole!”
Dan instinctively turned around. The DJ was waving for him to come closer. Dan wasn’t sure if the DJ was a boy or a girl or an actual woodland nymph, but the DJ had bright blue eyes that pulled Dan forward.
“Parched, mate,” the DJ yelled. “Help me out!”
Dan handed his drink to the DJ, who shrugged before shooting the rest of Dan’s whiskey and soda.
The DJ returned his focus to the tables, and Dan realized he should have gotten the DJ his own drink. What kind of socially awkward dickhead would hand a stranger his own drink? Dan fucking Ashcroft: King of the Awkward dickheads.
Xxx
2014
The House of Jones
Dan Ashcroft: King of the Idiots was bleeding all over his front door until Jones came to the rescue.
Jones looked him up and down.
“Nathan Barley?”
Dan collapsed into Jones’s arms and allowed himself to be dragged to the couch. He flopped down on his side and found himself staring at two of the most recent additions to Jones’s Barbie doll collection. One was an adult with dark hair, big dark eyes and no eyebrows. The other was a little Black Barbie, who appeared to be somewhere around five and had her hair was twisted up in pipe cleaners.
“Why are her eyebrows gone?” Dan asked. The dolls were making him feel panicky.
“I need to redraw them,” Jones explained as he put a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dishtowel on Dan’s temple. Then he picked up the little girl doll, “Now I need to boil her head for a few seconds.”
Dan closed his eyes, unable to handle reality (or what passed for reality in Shoreditch) for one more moment.
Xxx
1994
The Offices of Sugar Ape
Dan brought the DJ a fresh whiskey and soda, and a bottle of water from the bar. Up close, he was clearly a man, and a pretty one at that. His face lit up at Dan’s gifts of beverage and it made Dan feel good. He had managed to negotiate a social situation with a modicum of skill. He felt almost like a proper adult rather than a child playing dress up. Then Dan crashed on one of the office sofas, because he was too drunk to stand. He wondered if he’d ever be able to keep up with the crowd at Sugar Ape.
It was Jones that woke him up. The music had stopped and most of the people were gone. Dan leaned on Jones as he stumbled out of the office. Dan couldn’t remember his address, so he spent the night at Jones’s squat. Despite all the creepy toys, Dan felt more comfortable on the couch in Jones’s than he’d ever felt in his own tiny apartment. When he asked if he could live there forever, Jones shrugged and said, “Genius.”