SPAM.

Why do spam messages never focus on "INCREASE SMALL BREAST TO BIG FOR MAN PLEASURE" or "HE LIKE TONED MUSCULATURE OF VAGINA WALL" or even "FIRM CHEEKS PLEASURE HIS HARD END WELL"Honestly, the ratio of men worried about their small penis size can't be that fucking insanely huge ( Read more... )

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Okay, my Spam is now giving the National Enquirer and Weekly World News a more credible journalistic name.

Angelina Jolie and Britney Spears lesbian sex tape!

Okay, that's semi-plausible, maybe 5 to 10 years ago, but this?!:

Angelina's Newborn Twins Marry Each OtherRiiiiiight ( Read more... )

My spam sent:

12 more inches aint so bad, dont you think so?

12 MORE?! Repeat after me South Park fans:

"Big Floppy Donkey Dick!"

- Woofy Dudes
("Ew! Take a bath already man!")

- Want a new boner?
(Many guys have had enough trouble dealing with the one they've had since puberty. A NEW one is just needless hassle and stress. Well, okay, more to anyone coming across it than the owner, but still...)

- She saw the fire in my eyes(She then shoved my face into a chemical burns ( Read more... )

- Paris loves it large
- Paris wants 9 inches minimum
(It's the only way she feels anything any more. Wow that's too easy. These lines are too!)

- Dreams are made of these
(Who am I to dis-a-gree?)

- You gotta see this shocking thing
(You show me 2 Girls 1 Cup and I'll show you 2 Barrels 1 Crotch.)

- If you cannot act the way you want, take some ( Read more... )

Oh gods! Here we go again!

- Gain 20% thickness permanantly
(Eat a humongous bucket of high-fat ice cream!)

- Yank off her skirt!
(For the last time, STOP dressing the cat!)

- Going to the gym doesn't do ANYTHING for your size where it matters - but this does.
(Doctor Phineas Nerdstrom's Valley of Puzzles, Conundrums and Equations - Coming soon ( Read more... )

Presenting Volume Two of the SPAM madness!

- Chicks will like your long hard shaft.
(You'd be surprised how many women LOVE the mining industry!)

- After the party, take her home and show her just how big you have become.(Doubtful she'll be impressed by your drawn height markers from a young age onward marked into the door frame, but you can try ( Read more... )

Presenting some of the more amusing titles and emails from the spam range:

- Penetrate her deeper, harder and longer with this miracle solution
(...why do I get an image of the T-1000 skewering Sarah Connor's shoulder?)

- Unleash the potent power in your pants
(What, I have a nuke stashed in my khakis?)

- You KNOW when the girls start staring at ( Read more... )

nothing, tinkle the keys on a disconnected keyboard. So while they got It smells like one of your bully-boys. If you can stay up there with redundant. Since I am basically a computer program I am-every womans to sweep the room for bugs. After what we had seen on TV I had a great sagged too much. Our audience was reluctantly and suspiciously Seen ( Read more... )