[SPAM!] Volume Five
- Woofy Dudes
("Ew! Take a bath already man!")
- Want a new boner?
(Many guys have had enough trouble dealing with the one they've had since puberty. A NEW one is just needless hassle and stress. Well, okay, more to anyone coming across it than the owner, but still...)
- She saw the fire in my eyes
(She then shoved my face into a chemical burns sink and started it up. "I told you to wear safety goggles!" She yelled.)
[Insert Simpsons Goggles Joke Here.]
- Impress the ladies at a party with the $30,000 timepiece on your wrist
("Who's the guy with the stainless steel safe welded to his watch?" "Don't know, but he's amazing at weightlifting!")
- Make your bedroom life so different!
("Pillow FIGHT!" "What? OOF!")
- Be the man of her dreams when you click here
(That is, if you can FIND "here".)
- People judge you based on the clothes and watch you wear.
(Of course, those are just the judgemental pricks who have no concept of looking at a person's personality, and are devoid of their own, so screw 'em.)
- Nothing goes better with a power suit than a luxury timepiece.
(Of course, for the people wearing casual clothing all day, cheap Chinese knockoffs will do.)
- Has Your Man's Get Up and Go, Got Up and Gone? Help Him!
(Kick his arse into gear, or chase the get up and chase it to the next man it inhabits. Never know, it may land in David Tennant, Anthony Head or Ben Browder.)
- Over 100,000 Men around the world are already satisfied!
(You'd think this is Paris' doing, but no. With her, add about four more zeros.)
- Brad Pitt is our latest ambassador
(Ambassador Pitt to engage in talks with President Bush, Prime Minister Brown, Prime Minister Rudd and members of the U.N about a plan codenamed "Project Mayhem".)
Volume One of [SPAM!]
Volume Two of [SPAM!]
Volume Three of [SPAM!]
Volume Four of [SPAM!]
And now, an announcement from Ambassador Pitt:
("Ew! Take a bath already man!")
- Want a new boner?
(Many guys have had enough trouble dealing with the one they've had since puberty. A NEW one is just needless hassle and stress. Well, okay, more to anyone coming across it than the owner, but still...)
- She saw the fire in my eyes
(She then shoved my face into a chemical burns sink and started it up. "I told you to wear safety goggles!" She yelled.)
[Insert Simpsons Goggles Joke Here.]
- Impress the ladies at a party with the $30,000 timepiece on your wrist
("Who's the guy with the stainless steel safe welded to his watch?" "Don't know, but he's amazing at weightlifting!")
- Make your bedroom life so different!
("Pillow FIGHT!" "What? OOF!")
- Be the man of her dreams when you click here
(That is, if you can FIND "here".)
- People judge you based on the clothes and watch you wear.
(Of course, those are just the judgemental pricks who have no concept of looking at a person's personality, and are devoid of their own, so screw 'em.)
- Nothing goes better with a power suit than a luxury timepiece.
(Of course, for the people wearing casual clothing all day, cheap Chinese knockoffs will do.)
- Has Your Man's Get Up and Go, Got Up and Gone? Help Him!
(Kick his arse into gear, or chase the get up and chase it to the next man it inhabits. Never know, it may land in David Tennant, Anthony Head or Ben Browder.)
- Over 100,000 Men around the world are already satisfied!
(You'd think this is Paris' doing, but no. With her, add about four more zeros.)
- Brad Pitt is our latest ambassador
(Ambassador Pitt to engage in talks with President Bush, Prime Minister Brown, Prime Minister Rudd and members of the U.N about a plan codenamed "Project Mayhem".)
Volume One of [SPAM!]
Volume Two of [SPAM!]
Volume Three of [SPAM!]
Volume Four of [SPAM!]
And now, an announcement from Ambassador Pitt:
Click to view